Firstly, I guess thank you for still being here (if you are and I'm not shouting into the void).
Secondly, I wanted to update you all and assure you that I have not abandoned this fandom (I could never leave) and I haven't abandoned John and Selene either. I fully intend to keep writing their story, I miss them so much, but it's hard to do right now.
It's hard because I lost my husband in March and I'm still dealing with everything that comes with losing someone that you loved and cared for for over 25 years. It's hard losing someone who has been your life since you were 16.
As some of you may know, my husband was very poorly, both physically and mentally, and I was his carer and so, even though I always knew that he would go first, even though I always knew that I'd lose him sooner rather than later, it was still a massive shock and very sudden.
But I take comfort in the fact that he passed on my lap, in my arms, and in our bed rather than alone in a hospital one.
But with loss comes the paperwork, the organising, and the fact that your life has changed in the blink of an eye. In my case it was having to not only deal with the loss of him , but the fact that I had to find a full time job after being made redundant from my job of 22 years back in November.
I also lost my elderly cat, Sephie, in February so while I was still grieving her, we lost hubby too.
Then a week after my husband's funeral my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer. She's doing ok, had a mastectomy and thankfully it's not spread and she only needs a few doses of radiotherapy and should make a full recovery, but obviously I've been supporting her with that too.
Add in the fact that my husband's death is going to inquest too (not with blame on my part) and you'll understand why writing, and indeed having the motivation to do anything, is hard right now.
Positives are that I have basically turned into Selene (without the John unfortunately) and become a full time witch. I work in my friends shop doing witchery, teaching workshops, making spells and doing tarot readings. Professional spooky bitch right here.
I also adopted three kittens, Frodo, Star and Bug, who are helping to heal our hearts just a little bit more each day. They are adorable but very foul and naughty. Our amazing daughter still lives at home too, so we are supporting each other.
I've still been doing my tiktok live streams on the official Gerry Anderson account when I can and I've been running our Anderson zoom and my spiritualist centre, so I've kept busy, but when I have down time it's still hard to get motivated.
But I will do. I will get back to writing, I can hear John and Sel faffing around in my head, I miss them, I miss my boys, I miss their story and I miss who I was when I was doing it.
I'll find me and them again soon, but for now I want to thank anyone that is still here, and if you're new, sorry this is how we're being introduced, life sucks, but I'll be back and more cheerful soon.
Lots of love, Willow (who is still flying the John flag every day).
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