JJ's Next Top Model Rankings

Well, the first one aired at a time when BNTM was still starting C8, so I was fine with the line-up. If I could have done a second one my immediate picks would have been Jade (C5), Charlotte (C6) and I actually would have loved to see Abbey (C2 contestant, C10-12 host) and how she’d fare in the States. If we’re talking a hypothetical scenario where British Invasion happens after BNTM ends, I definitely would have picked Bethan (C10), Tallulah, Allanah, Simone (C11), and Martha (C12). Or alternatively I would have loved to see BNTM do their own version of All-Stars, to be honest lol.

Well, I’m not a fan of spoilers but I loved every single Brit who was on C18. Alisha, Cat and Louise had been my personal winners for their respective cycles of BNTM, Ashley and Annaliese had a special place in my heart from C5, and even though I was indifferent to Jasmia, I was sad to see her go first. I do wish Amelia had stuck around since according to Annaliese she was another Brit who would appear before quitting when the selection process got too much for her, and I would have absolutely died to have seen Charlotte (C6) or Jade (C5) because I love them to bits too!

Rankings for Britain’s Next Top Model (War of the Roses)

Ricardian Era

While America’s first ever cycle is still thought of fondly by the fandom for its simplicity and intimacy, the same cannot be said for its British counterpart. The first instalment and period of the reality show in the UK was nothing if not painful. The low budget was horrendously obvious, yet there was no charm infused to make up for it. Lisa Butcher and her panel were as uninspiring as unbuttered stale crumpets, and most of the entertainment felt dulled by an unremarkable cast that ranged from bland to blander. Thank goodness this rubbish was swept under the rug soon thereafter.

BNTM Cycle 1

First Henrician Era

After a shambolic beginning, there was nowhere to go but up, and fortunately enough, the cycles that followed became much more palatable, and suddenly even enjoyable. Butcher was replaced with a more favourable Lisa (Snowden), and slowly, the rough edges began to soften as each cycle built upon the last one, finding its feet and own flair as a proper British branch of Top Model (and not some last-minute patchwork riding the coattails of Tyra Banks’ success story). Most importantly for them, it showed promise for more.

BNTM Cycle 2

BNTM Cycle 3

BNTM Cycle 4

BNTM Cycle 5

Second Henrician Era

BNTM took an abrupt turn. Lisa and her panel vanished to be replaced by Elle Macpherson (whose natural warmth is not enough to disguise her lack of TV presence and charisma) and her own squad of lively characters. While the judges were certainly an improvement, and the first cycle of the era was undeniably the best one so far, they rapidly appeared to spiral out of control with a series of lacklustre instalments that interrupted the upward trajectory they had garnered painstakingly. Clearly on the way to developing Brit iconicity, and it all came crashing down.

BNTM Cycle 6

BNTM Cycle 7

BNTM Cycle 8

Edwardian Era

This brief era of Britain’s Next Top Model is unspeakably dull despite a talented cast. Introducing a new format of judging contestants was unpopular and less satisfying to watch as a viewer. No matter how much the attempted to improve the calibre of shoots and challenges, it felt in vain because there was no real driving force behind it to inspire viewers to stay loyal to the series. Ultimately, the show was cancelled, and with good reason. Only a proper renovation could salvage what they seemed to be burning to the ground with faux glamour.

BNTM Cycle 9

Marian Era

With waning popularity, turning over a new leaf was not so much a choice as it was an absolute necessity if the show had any hope of staying afloat after an unsatisfying marathon of seasons. Returning on another network, this period was unfairly critiqued with a harshness that only allowed true appreciation in retrospect. Abbey Clancy (a Scouse icon through and through) and her team (that had a perfect balance of respectability and amusement) laid a firm foundation for a brilliant revival, but it took a moment for that to truly sink in.

BNTM Cycle 10

Elizabethan Era

Just as Britain’s had finally found its footing again and was producing some noteworthy entertainment and competition, it was cancelled. It was an infuriating move to see the show be removed on a high when its pathetic lows had been forgiven. With casts bursting at the seam with talent, shoots that oozed luxury, panels that finally could even think of rivalling foreign counterparts, and production that had surged in value, it all felt set for a good long run. Had it been given a chance, it would have certainly proved worthwhile, but unfortunately we must be content with observing what we were given in the short span of time. At least it provided some legendary moments that had been sorely missed since Cycle 6.

BNTM Cycle 11

Yeah, I did leave on a rather abrupt note. Unfortunately cycle 6 and 7 might be coming out at a slower pace than before. I’ve lost most of my ANTM rankings (I had everything prepared up till Cycle 9!) since they were in my USBs back where I lived with my biological family.

Currently in the process of re-writing everything, but obviously that will take some time and I might not go back to my usual daily posting schedule from before my break. Also lowkey considering jumping into BNTM after C6 because I do have some of the international cycles all ranked and ready. I initially would have wanted to wait until C12 in accordance with the survey I did months ago, but with everything that’s happened, I really want to feel good about posting again, and maybe adding some of the variety from other editions of Top Model could help me get back in the game.

...but like an undiscovered supermodel in a tuk-tuk, I’ll be back (perhaps a little later than expected and trying to be incongnito with sunglasses, but still...)

Hi everyone. I wasn’t expecting a lot of things to happen so abruptly, that would leave me MIA for quite some time on everything, including Tumblr. I was initially not even going to give any notice about what was going on, until I decided to open my email app on a whim and saw a notification from Tumblr from a torrent of asks in my inbox as to my welbeing.

Firstly, I want to apologise for ever leaving and choosing not to update anyone about it because I felt so weak and helpless at the time. I wasn’t going to share this initially but I thought maybe sharing my story would shed some light as to why this blog became so important to me.

I have always struggled with the spectrum of identity and gender, and while I identify as being gender non-binary, I was born what is biologically referred to as female. The concept of it was subtle enough for my realisation to go unnoticed, and I never really “came out” about so to speak of. That is until I realised that I looked more at girls than I did boys, and not just because we shared changing rooms and whatnot.

Out of pure bad luck, my father discovered my preferences when my brother let it slip one time in the middle of a pronounced family argument. Since then, he watched me like a hawk, because to him, having a “lesbo daughter” was a shame that needed correction. While never so aggressive that I would fear for my life, his mental abuse was terrible and he wasn’t above a slap or two if I ever mispoke.

I started this blog, not only out of inspiration from other rankers online, but also because watching all the beautiful women on this franchise objectively, it almost made me realise how I should not have to keep the fact that I was attracted to women like a dirty little secret. This community of not just rankers but Top Model fans built each other up, agreeing to respectfully disagree whenever conflicts occurred, and hyping all the strong, incredible bad-arse women (and some terrific men of course) that made this modelling clusterfuck a guilty pleasure for us all. Unfortunately, my father recently discovered this blog too, and it provoked one of the most painful and cruel arguments I have ever had.

I’m currently staying at a close friend’s house, and have been slowly trying to heal and just process everything. I can’t go back, but I don’t know what to do moving forward. I’m hurt and saddened, and most of the time i just want to hide in the guest room I’ve been so kindly given and never come out again to the world.

I know it sounds bleak and dramatic, and I honestly know that I have to grow stronger and move past this terrible ordeal, which is why after reading through all the asks, I decided to post this.

I’m coming back, guys. Just not right now. I hope you can understand I just need some time away from everything to work on me and being happy being just me. Abandoning this ranking blog and all my other endeavours would hurt more than continuing them, so rest assured this is not the last of me. I’ll come back stronger, happier, and with all my commentaries intact and ready for all of you.

This is probably such a rambled mess, but what I’m trying to say is that despite being disowned and ostracised from my relatives, I know that there is much better out there for me and a lot of good in store. And I am no longer willing to bow down to prejudices and hate. I hope maybe my story encourages a lot of you to start your own ranking blogs because it can become almost therapeutic sharing your opinions, even on a silly reality show.

Some of you may choose to unfollow, since I can’t pinpoint an official return, and i respect that, and bid you farewell with all the gratefulness of a young person who has received so much support and love from this amazing ANTM community. Thank you so much everyone. Special thanks to @antmrankingskd who has always been an inspiration, and whose recent ask really gave me an incredible boost after weeks of wallowing in self-pity (and whose blog I urge you to binge if you need some content), and @amateursmizer who has been constantly in my DMs hoping to reach out because they were deeply concerned for my absence when i expressed my love and passion for this blog and community.

Sorry if this has been too jumbled and incomprehensible, I’m probably rambling so much- I just hope you get i appreciate all the support, and hope you are willing to wait for me just a little while longer for my health.

JJ will be back, my lovelies. Soon. I love you all dearly, be kind to one another and be brave enough to be bold. I’ll see you soon, hopefully bigger and better.