JBL

The greatest challenge in all kinds of relationships isn’t communication but the inability to resist temptations and the fear to tell the truth. Sometimes, we are so afraid to admit our mistakes that we cover them up with another lies. If there’s one thing I learned from the past, it is to stay true and honest whatever the consequences are. I once lied to people I am afraid to lose and because of it, I eventually lose them. Then after that, people around me start to lie too. It’s frustrating to know that we are living in a world surrounded by lies, so if you found someone who never lied to you, who is not afraid to face reality and the results of his/her action, that regardless of your reaction, he/she chooses to tell the truth, keep them. Why? Because they value how you feel. Don’t ever ever comfort people with lies. If you can’t return someone else’s love for you, say it. If you intentionally or unintentionally commit mistakes, acknowledge and apologise. Words left unsaid will soon come out and you will surely regret them.

1. If you do not go after what you want, you'll never have it.

2. If you do not ask, the answer will always be NO.

Time might separate us some day. But, even still, until then, let's stay together. - Takegawa Hotaru

I just resumed watching Anime after a long break. My last was Ookami Shoujo To Kuro Ouji (Wolf Girl and Black Prince). Then I decided to visit a site which is full of Anime content and looked for their forum. I searched for “BEST ANIME MOVIE” then I found this in one of the comments.

Unfortunately, I selected a very heartbreaking short film! This is a fvcking good start that I don’t know, I really have no idea when will I ever move on from Gin and Hotaru. </3

How sad and frustrating is it to fall for a spirit that if you touch him, he'll be gone?

Look at that. Gin removed his mask and gave it to Hotaru so he can kiss her at least, without touching any human skin. </3

Was it a good view Hotaru? I think so. Hotaru’s view with Gin’s mask on.

I don’t know but I can’t, I just can’t discuss the next two photos. It is so heartbreaking. I hope some day, time will both decide what is best for the two of you. Please end up together, even as spirits.

“Our legacy isn’t what we write on our resume or how many commas we have in our bank account. It’s who we’re lucky enough to have in our lives and what we can leave them with. The one thing we do know, we’re here now. So I say we do the best we can, and that’s what I think about my legacy.”

These are the words of Henry Carpenter, the main character in the movie “The Book of Henry” when asked to talk about their legacy as a practicum for correct grammar, word selection, etc or in short, speech class.

The movie is a story of how a young boy changed the world by simply doing one thing he believes is the right thing to do and how he used his notebook, his red notebook, to accomplish this thing. He won’t be able to make it without the help of her Mom, her amazing Mom and his most trusted brother, Peter.

I don’t want to spoil so I’ll stop from there.

Susan, Henry and Peter’s relationship is the best family relationship I have ever seen on movies. 

Susan, as a mother, works hard for kids without losing the “cool” side of every mother in the world. My favorite scenes of her are those during bedtime with kids and the hospital conversation.

Christina is right, Peter and Henry are so lucky to have you Mommy Susan. Thank you for raising two amazing kids. You did great. You are a mother and will always be a good mother for Henry and Peter.

Peter, Henry’s younger brother, is so adorable. I really want to hug him in those scenes that he’s so sad and alone. He may be very dependent on his brother, but he loves and respect him very much.

Well, if I have a brother like Peter, I am very much willing to defend and spoil him in any way I can. Make sure you have tissues in their hospital scene. IT’S THE BEST BROTHERLY LOVE SCENE EVER. </3

Henry, who is now one of my favorite characters, is my greatest discovery in 2017! Jaeden Lieberher, a 14 year old actor starred is several films and is known for IT, but I haven’t seen IT yet. The Book of Henry is his first movie I’ve watched. He got me! It is like in real-life, he is really Henry, an amazing boy who is matured enough to almost handle everything – school, family and society matters. He has a lot of quotable quotes that when you slowly digest will change your life forever. Yes, let us all learn something from an eleven-year old boy.

One lesson that I think I’ll continue to live on and remember will be: Violence is not the worst thing on Earth, but apathy. When someone hurts someone else we have to make it better. If we will all think that it is none of our business to help someone who is in trouble, then there would be no one to look out for the people who just can’t look out for themselves.

“It’s over.”

How will you know if it’s really over or if your “in a relationship status” is in danger? Both of you didn’t come up to a decision to shut what’s going on between you and him/her, but you feel like everything’s over or you both decided to end everything but you’re still holding on. Why? Should you stay and wait or let go and move on?

This blog will give you a checklist when it’s really over or if there is still a chance.

If you’re any of this people, then this checklist is perfect for you.

A. Iniwan. Umaasa. Mutual agreement. Pumayag kang tapusin ang lahat, pero nandiyan ka pa rin kung saan ka niya iniwan.

B. Niloko. Nang-iwan. Pride. Niloko ka, kaya mo hiniwalayan. After few weeks, mahal mo pa rin, willing kang tanggapin siya, pero ayaw na niya.

C. Nanloko. Iniwan. Kabaliktaran ng letter B. Gusto pang bumalik, nagbago na raw, pero ubos na ang “unli” chances ng niloko.

D. Nanlalamig na Partner. Hindi na siya tulad ng dati. Bihira ka na lang i-text, i-chat o i-meet. Halos wala ng oras sa’yo.

E. Nowhere to be Found.  Missing in action. The next day, paggising mo, hindi mo na siya maramdaman.

Anong letra ka man kabilang, I am here to assist you as we go on with the checklist one-by-one.

To begin with, prepare yourself. Maaring masasakit ang mga susunod na mababasa, but at the end of this blog, you should know your stand – stay or let go.

FIRST.

Wala siyang paramdam in the past 30-60 days  (plus SEEN). Huwag tayong maglokohan. Social Media is part of our daily lives. Impossibleng sa 30-60 days na ‘yan, hindi man lang niyang nagawang buksan ang kahit anong app niya.

Kabute. May paramdam, pero halos once a month, every two weeks o every week lang. Tandaan mo, hindi ka lang basta stranger, girlfriend ka, boyfriend ka o ex ka. Kung mahal ka (pa), hindi pwedeng kapag naalala ka lang niya itetext, imemessage o ano.

Plain and Simple Messages. Sinong hindi natutuwang mabasa ang “I love you.”, “Dream of me.”, “Miss na kita.” at gigilitan ko? Let’s admit the fact that if our partner is continuously reminding us na mahal tayo, namimiss tayo, e mas napapanatag tayo. Kung bihira na nga magparamdam tapos “Ok”, “Ganoon ba?”, “Talaga ba?” lang ang kayang isagot sa’yo, magtaka ka na.

This is the first ingredient of a perfect relationship na wala na kayo, so much as well na ngayon pa lang, piliin mo na ang LET GO button. Alam mo kung ano? COMMUNICATION.

SECOND.

Dahilan. Marami siyang dahilan. May sakit, may lakad ang pamilya, may exam, busy. In short, hindi ka na priority, nilalayuan ka, ayaw ka ng makasama. Hindi ka na mahal.

Kung gusto may paraan, kung ayaw, maraming dahilan. Maaring busy siya, pero hindi niya hahayaang malungkot ka. Kapag mahal ka niyang talaga, babawi siya. Say hello to TIME.

THIRD.

Malihim. Kung dati alam mo ang password ng mga accounts niya, ngayon e hindi mo na mabuksan (though hindi ‘to advisable), alam mo na. Bihira na siyang mag-open sa’yo. Wala na kayong mapag-usapan, ayaw na niyang magkwento.

If your partner starts to keep secrets from you, ‘yung tipong hindi siya magsasabi hangga’t hindi mo tinatanong o nalalaman, may problema na. Instant red flag na ‘yun. Minsan, tumatama ‘yung kutob, minsan, masyado ka lang din praning. Oo naman. Kailangan OPEN sa isa’t isa.

FOURTH.

Bastos. This maybe random, but it’s just a generic term for someone na halos hindi ka na irespeto.

Kung dati, hindi siya nakakapagmura sa harap mo, e ngayon, halos mura na lang lumalabas sa bibig niya, lalo kapag nag-aaway kayo. Isa pa, lagi na lang siyang late sa lahat ng lakad niyo. ‘Yung tipong nakakalimutan niya, tinatamad siya o kung kasama mo, sa iba naman ang atensiyon. Yes. That’s RESPECT.

FIFTH.

Doubtful. Sa madaling sabi, seloso o selosa. Wala na sa lugar.

Kung noon, kinikilig ka sa mga pagseselos niya, ngayon, napipikon ka na. Here’s my take: Kung ang partner mo, paulit-ulit kang inaakusahan ng kung anu-ano at walang basehan, mataas ang tendency na baka siya ang gumagawa ng ganoon. Humahanap ng butas o dahilan para iwan ka niya. Remember, kung mahal ka niya talaga, TRUST wouldn’t be that hard to give.

LAST.

Malabo. Hindi mo na maramdamang mahal ka pa niya. Ito na ‘yun. Oo, magtiwala ka sa instinct mo. Hindi mo ‘yan mararamdaman kung walang nagbago.

Kung dati, halos pakyawin mo lahat ng salbabida, kasi lunud na lunod ka sa pagmamahal niya, ngayon e halos El Nino na sa sobrang tuyot. Figurative. Okay? What I’m trying to say is, hindi mo na alam kung may partner ka pa ba. Ito ‘yung time na hindi lahat ng may label, okay. Last checklist is LOVE ka pa rin ba?

Congratulations! You survived the checklist kahit alam kong sa loob-loob mo, inis na inis ka na at ang sakit-sakit na, kasi totoo lahat. I am not saying na hiwalayan mo na agad kapag na-bingo mo ‘tong list na ‘to. Awareness lang. Preparation. Mabuti ng handa kapag dumating ang delubyo. Walang warning ‘yan. Hindi ‘yan magsasabi ng “Hey, mag-ready ka na. Ibi-break na kita bukas.”.

Ang LOVE, madaming stages ‘yan. Darating talaga sa puntong susubukin kayo ng langit. Dalawa lang naman e. Either malusutan ninyo ng sabay o may maiwang isa. Naiwan kasi may nasalubong, nauna kasi may nakilala at naiwan o nauna dahil hindi mahigpit ang kapit.

PS: Author’s Experience. One big factor in most relationships is the foundation, kung paano kayo nagsimulang dalawa. Sa haba ng inyong lalakbayin, kailangan mo ng isang taong kilalang kilala mo na ang pagkatao. ‘Yung sakit, normal naman e. Kahit anong shield pa ang gamitin mo, masasaktan at masasaktan ka. Eh kasi nga, nagmamahal ka. Just make sure na sa karapat-dapat na tao mo lang iyan mararamdaman. Ayaw nating nanghihinayang sa dulo. Choose your investment, wisely.