yes, i was currently having sex with the wanted

"Oh." He murmured, running his hand across the back of his neck. "Sorry." Looking up, he smiled sheepishly.

"I should've said something, I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have just presumed you'd want to get back together." There was an awkward pause as we tried to get past what had just happened, but my mouth felt like it was full of cotton, and I couldn't talk. "So, your guy." Tom eventually asked. "What's he like? Good enough for you, or do I have to beat his arse?"

"I don't want to talk about it Tom." I said, my clipped tone letting him know that was a no-go topic. His eyes widened for a moment, before he just nodded.

"Ok, sure thing." Then he glanced behind him. "We should probably head back in." I nodded, and followed him back inside. Lucy threw her arms around me the minute she saw me, unable to stand up straight.

"I'd better get going!" I shouted to Tom, gesturing at Lucy who just needed to get home. He nodded, then held his hand out to stop my arm.

"Wait, lets hang out again. Just as friends, but I don't want to lose you again Allie." I was supposed to say no. I shouldn't agree to anything. I couldn't help it.

"Of course, Tommy." He grinned, and wrapped his arms around me.

"I look forward to it!" I dashed away before I could agree to anything else stupid.

"Fucking masochistic idiot." Muttering angrily to myself, I lead Lucy out of the door and back to her flat.

*

Sitting at the kitchen table with a mug of coffee in my hands, I thought about seeing Tom yesterday. He'd probably hurt me again, or he'd find out what was going on, and either hate me, or freak out that I hadn't confided in him. Though that wasn't my choice.

"Coffee." Lucy groaned, as she ambled into the kitchen, still dressed in her outfit from last night. I nodded, and turned on the kettle, before sitting back at the kitchen table. "So," she muttered. "I thought you spent your life avoiding Tom Parker, not sneaking outside with him." I shot a glare in her direction, and she held her hands up in defeat. "I'm sorry, I'm just a little puzzled ok?" I sighed, waiting for her to get her drink and sit back down before I told her.

"Tom and I used to be best friends when we were younger, before..." I trailed off, and Lucy nodded. "Then, he slept with some girl and we argued just my mother pulled me away from my entire life, and I was never allowed to tell him the truth about why I disappeared. I just never wanted to have to confront him about it. It was hard enough telling you!" She smiled sympathetically at me, placing her hand on my arm. "So I'll never see him again, and that's it." Lucy winced.

"Well I didn't know ok? And I'm really sorry, but they invited us to hang out with them tonight, and I sort of agreed." Relief washed over me.

"I have plans with Richard tonight." Lucy's eyes widened, but she just nodded.

"Sure. But you have no problem if I hang out with them, do you?" Yes.

"No!" I smiled. "Have fun! I should head over there now though, the drive up to Richard's is a nightmare around lunchtime." I stood, just wanting to be alone.

hey, so I'm publishing this because I'm lazy, but here's the start of my tom fic!:) i will try to be better with updating I promise

so you may have read this already, but it wont hurt to read it again ;)

omg aw, thankyou so so so much for saying this! :)

i love you omg

So that's right guys, this is the end of the road! I'm going to carry on writing I hope, but I didn't think I could do the story any more justice, and it just wasn't working with the parts I was expecting, so I decided to stop here.

For every single one of you who has read the story, or even just parts, or reviewed, then I absolutely adore you, thankyou for your time, and this is dedicated to you!

omg i know i'm sorrrrrrrrry :(

it will be when i finish my jay one, which will be pretty soon:)

"You look like shit!" She exclaimed, laughing despite herself, and I self consciously rubbed my cheek.

"You don't look so good yourself." I joined with her laughter, which she stopped immediately. Nodding her head behind her, she turned from the door, and I followed her into the living room.

"Jay-" she started, as she spun on her heels, but I cut her off with a flick of my hand.

"I'm not mad at you." I told her, decidedly. Her brows furrowed.

"But Jay-" I held my hand out to stop her again.

"No, Emily. Listen, I, I slept with someone else too on that night." Her eyes widened as her mouth dropped open.

"Oh. Who was it?" She sounded curious, rather than angry.

"Nicole." Her eyebrows raised, and she nodded slowly. "But I didn't tell you for precisely the same reason as you didn't tell me." I took a step closer to where she was standing. "You realised, after being with Nathan, that you didn't want him." She nodded softly. "I realised, after being with Nicole, that I didn't want her." She nodded again, accepting my words. "You realised that you loved me, only me, and I just reconfirmed you are the only girl I ever want to be with." Her smile was small as she looked at her feet, but then glanced back up to me.

"The only girl?" She asked, and I smiled, nodding.

"The only one." Slowly, Emily walked towards me, and I held my arms apart, letting her fall back into me, exactly where she was supposed to be.

"But what about-" I shushed her gently.

"Later, Emily. We can talk later." My hands found her chin as I slowly tilted her head to look at me. Her blue eyes shone with happiness, causing my own smile to grow as I leant forward till our lips touched. The sensation was familiar, and yet seemed new and completely foreign as her small hands trailed up and down my shoulder blades, causing me to shiver. My mouth wandered, kissing the edge of her lips, then across her cheek to the spot just infront of her ear. "I love you." I whispered, as her grip on my became tighter.

"I love you more." She whispered back.

"Not possible." I argued gently, reclaiming her mouth with mine before she had the chance to disagree. Her hands reached for the hem of my shirt and she tugged the hem, before lifting it over my chest. Our lips broke apart as the material came over my head, and her lips claimed mine again. We kissed for a while, just remembering how things used to be, before my hands started to crawl under her shirt, and my lips pressed down her chin, her neck, her collarbone.

omg i'm sorry ok :(

The door felt heavy to shove open, and I staggered a little as I stepped inside. A quiet hush fell around, and I walked in through the living room door with Emily sat on the couch, Tom and Max either side of her. Tom had his arm around her waist, and a jolt of anger shot through me, which I rushed to push down. My footsteps on the floor echoed around the room, and her head jolted up to look at me.

"Jay." She half whispered, half croaked, smiling up at me. Her skin was patchy, her face tearstained, and she looked exhausted. I could see Max and Tom watch us warily, but I only had eyes for Emily and I kept my face impassive as I looked at her, careful to hide the collapse of my insides, the way my heart doubled in time when she looked back at me.

"I'm sorry," I muttered, turning my back on the three of them. "I shouldn't have come yet, I'm not ready to discuss this." Silence continued, and for the second time in two days, I ran away.

*

"Thought you'd be here." My hands temporarily stopped picking at the label of the beer bottle I was savouring, but continued again shortly.

"I fear I'm becoming predictable." I muttered, raising the bottle to my lips and taking a swig before turning to face Max. "Having a seat?" He joined me at the bar, gesturing to the barman for a drink before sighing.

"You have to stop running away and just sort things out mate." He told me firmly, and even though I'd admitted it to myself, it was heartwrenching to know that even my friends thought of me as a coward.

"I know. I just, I'm sort of all over the place at the minute."

"Oh yeah?" Max enquired.

"Yeah. Finding out you can't have kids does that to you." I snapped bitterly, turning to glare at him. He raised his hands in mock surrender.

"Sorry mate, I'm just trying to fucking help!" I backed down, quickly apologising. Max accepted his drink and took a sip, waiting for me to start talking.

"I can't hate her." I said, looking at the beer bottle so I could avoid his stare.

"Because you love her?" Max asked, his voice unsure.

"Sure." I laughed. "I mean, I do love her. But because if I hated her, then I'd have to hate myself, and that would cause all sorts of issues." A quick glance at Max told me that he wasn't getting what I was trying to say. "On the night she fucked Nathan, I fucked Nicole." Max was mid gulp when I confessed, causing him to spit beer from his lips.

"Shit!" He laughed quietly. "You know how to get yourself into these messes don't you Bird." I laughed too, nodding softly.

"So I need to decide if I am mad at her because she slept with someone else." I pondered, resting my chin on my hands. "I know I'm more mad at myself. I slept with someone else, and I can't even get someone pregnant. The one thing that defines a man is his children. It's primal, basic, and I can't fucking do it." My voice showed my desperation, and Max placed an arm on my shoulder.

"Jay, loads of men can't knock up their girlfriends. Don't take it so hard." I turned to him, ready to pummel the shit out of him when I saw the slight look of amusement in his eyes. "Come here, you daft prick!" Max slid off his stool, pulling me out of mine, then pulled me down so he could tightly embrace me. "Stop getting yourself so worked up over this, and just fucking talk to her!" I nodded, returning the hug until I pulled away.

"Will she speak to me?" I had to ask.

"She's really mad, furious at you for running out even, but talk to her. It's better than staying here and drinking yourself into an oblivion. Again. Where were you last night?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"I have no fucking clue. I woke up this morning on a bench outside the sports complex a few miles away, so I guess I went for a midmorning workout." We both laughed, before Max shoved my arm.

THANKYOU SO MUCH FOR TELLING ME:)!

I'm guessing you mean the oneshots?

OH NO DON'T CRY!