alpha

Daphne bit her lip gently as Jaymes spoke, smiling faintly as she spoke. “I look forward to it,” she said softly, hesitating before leaning forward to kiss Jaymes, thinking they’d waited long enough. This time she wasn’t going to pull away, to run away, she was going to experience this, experience Jaymes, in all the ways she has ever wanted to.

Jaymes gasped a little under Daphne’s lips. Public displays of affection were not what the alpha had expected. It had never been something she had an option for. It took a moment for her to catch up before her hands were tangled in Daphne’s hair. Joint forgotten on the ground. This is all she wanted. This kiss wasn’t desperate like the last. This was the first of, what Jaymes hoped, was many. 

Daphne bit her lip. The thought of her immortality and Jayme’s real mortality had of course crossed her mind, and it made her decision even more difficult, but this was the fate she’d chosen for herself, and she did not think she would regret it, at least she hoped she wouldn’t.

“I hope this will help you value yourself and your life more,” she admitted softly, pressing her forehead back against Jaymes’s. “You mean so much to me. I really dislike seeing you hate yourself.”

This moment was more magical then Jaymes had ever hoped. She was a wolf who turned into a girl, holding onto a faerie Queen. This was a fairy tale not something that happened to Jaymes. She had always seen herself as the villian in most stories, unhappy ending guaranteed. It took her breath away. 

When her lungs returned to functioning levels she breathed the words, “You never saw me as a liability. I’ll prove you right.” The alpha had never meant something more in her life. She just hoped Daphne understood. It was hard enough to think straight, let alone put her thoughts into words.

“okay” he said in a sort of drawn out manner, “but where are we going?” There had to be some sort of destination, right? A place to walk towards. 

“No where.” Jaymes shrugged, “Any where? Where ever.” There was too much in her head. “I’m a wolf Noah. The woods are my destination.” She quickly continued, “How are things going for you? What’s got you smoking a joint at...” There was a glance to her wrist, “I don’t wear a watch. I don’t know what time it is. You get the point.”

Daphne leaned into Jayme’s touch as the other rested her hand against her cheek. She reached up to lay her fingers lightly against the back of James’s hand, looking back at Jaymes with an apologetic expression. “I’m so sorry it took me so long to confess to you. I worried too much about what others might thing, I put aside my own happiness and … the potential of yours.” She bit her lip. “I would like to try this, whatever you want, and not be afraid anymore to feel things.”

“I had years to think about this. You’ve only had weeks. For an immortal..that’s not a lot of time.” Jaymes sighed, the tension in her shoulders slowly relaxing. She tightened her grip on the back of Daphne’s head and moved in to rest her forehead on the Queen’s, “I never want you to be afraid of anything again. For as long as you let me I will stand at your side.” 

“I’m sure if I can walk and eat, I can walk and smoke” he said taking it from her, and taking a hit off of it. Noah coughed some as he exhaled, still never having smoked enough to be used to it quite yet. “Why are we wandering this way?” he asked holding it back out to her.

Jaymes only looked straight a head as she listened to him inhale and choke a little. Her eyes floated over to him as he asked, noting the return of the joint and accepted it. “Because,” She took a long drag and held in the smoke as she spoke again, “I’d rather keep pack business in the pack.” Smoke spiraled out of her nose, “No one needs to know what we do among our own.” 

“First, I … I want to apologize for how I reacted the last time we were together,” Daphne said, off-put by Jaymes’ coldness, though she knew she couldn’t exactly blame her for this behavior. She rather deserved it. “It wasn’t fair to you. I should have explained myself.” She inhaled shakily before continuing, placing her hands behind her back.

“I have feelings for you,” she admitted. “You’re my best friend, but more than that you’re my confidante and closest companion. You’re incredibly important to me, but my … my sense of duty and fear that I may end up being a poor queen and a bad leader if I gave into my feelings overcame my desire to be with you. I’m sorry for that, too. I’d … I’d like to try, though, if-if you still want to. I understand if you no longer wish to even be around me anymore. I hurt you, and I’m sincerely sorry.”

Jaymes’ mind was running a  million miles an hour, thiscan’tbereal.thisisn’treal. The words displayed in her mind like a marquee. Her legs almost gave out and heart almost slammed it’s way out of her chest. Jaymes stared at Daphne, trying to sort truth from fiction. The more Daphne spoke the more it actualized. This was happening. And everything Daphne was explaining was something Jaymes had gone through herself of the last few years. It hadn’t have been fair to her to spring this on the Queen and expect the best. 

And yet...here was the best outcome she could have hoped for.  A smile pulled at her lips. Jaymes closed the space between them, muttering, “You have nothing to apologize for.” The Alpha’s hand found its way to the Queen’s cheek. The urge to kiss Daphne was all but overwhelming, but that did’t turn out well last time. The Alpha had to force herself to take things slow. Words had never been her strong suit, she tried anyways. “Being around you is the highlight of this low life.” 

“Are you okay?” Noah repeated the question to her. She didn’t look alright, she looked like she’d been hit by a truck or something. “Have you - “ he bit his lip as he looked at her, starting to notice something familiar from when he was younger with his mom. He wasn’t sure if he should bring it up, so instead he gestured to the joint, “Can I get a hit?” he asked, having only smoked a handful of times in his life.

Noah? Noah. His words didn’t fully register with her or at the least they didn’t register correctly. He wasn’t making sense to her. She brushed it off and jerked her head at the trees before holding it out to him. “Only if you can smoke and walk. I-” She pointed at herself, “have seen enough talking creatures for today and would like to wander this way. But you may come.”

“I was hoping to speak with you,” Daphne said softly, approaching Jaymes cautiously. She wasn’t entirely sure she was doing the right thing, but she couldn’t avoid it, or Jaymes, any longer. She’d wrestled with her feelings versus her duty for a long time, but it was time to come to a decision. She only hoped it was the right one and that neither of them would regret it in the future. “Are you in a state of mind in which we can have a conversation?”

The stillness that took over the Alpha’s body was supernatural, the only movement was the slightly smoldering blunt in her fingers. She twirled it slowly, deliberately. Adrenaline had hit her system, forcing her heart to hammer out the toxins quicker. Even her eyesight grew sharper. more in focus. Even angry with the Faerie Queen, Jaymes’ body went into high alert. Aware of everything, from the floral scent to the way the wind picked up strands of Daphne’s hair.

“Speak then.” Under her bright eyes her tone didn’t change. Jaymes refused to let her brain acknowledge that anyone other than, essentially, a co worker was speaking to her. 

Rising to her feet her eyes slowly swept the disaster of a room. She needed something clean to wear into town. Her kitchen cabinets all hung open, empty. The fridge the same. Catching site of a white pair of sweats, stained brown and green around the ankles where she had ran through the woods, she begrudgingly pulled them on. A form fitting black sweatshirt  with a high neck was pulled over her head to cover her torso. 

The alpha lit a joint as she walked the hall out of the warehouse. The smoke twirled around her head as she autopiloted to the nearest place for food. Someone’s voice stopped her. Looking at the person was harder then she had expected. The clouds wouldn’t release her head, she couldn’t find her ground, reality. It took her a minute to finally bring them into focus. 

“I’m sorry what was that?” The question was half assed and disinterested. 

Stella herself was in search of some music. After waitressing for a few months now, she managed to save up enough tips to treat herself. Instead of blowing it all on blood that she would binge in a day, she decided it could be nice to get a player and a few records. 

She smiled over at Jaymes and shrugged her shoulders. “No worries. I have no idea what I’m doing anyway.” She admits and glances around the shop as if it would somehow guide her to an answer. “Any recommendations?” 

The alpha looked up as the hair on the back of her neck raised. Vampire. A gorgeous vampire, at that. Jaymes had never been one to shy away from something stupid or dangerous. And this could have very well been both. 

She slid into a focused mindset and smiled at the woman. “Well that depends. What kind of music do you like? Frank your style? Or Jimmy? Or Kurt?” Her smile grew slowly, “Oh I know. You’re a Stevie fan. And if you’re not its only because you don’t know who she is.” Music was one subject that Jaymes could actually talk to anyone about for hours.

“As long as you don’t tell Caleb I was out past curfew again” he said giving her a small smile, letting her know that this secret was safe with him. 

Jaymes stood still watching Noah, only bobbing her head once in acknowledgement. It would be easy enough, seeing how she hadn’t seen Caleb in weeks. And she had no plans on changing that any time soon.

Her fingers had frozen over the box of records and Jaymes had been blankly staring at a Frank Sinatra record for who knew how long. She noticed a presence behind her. Without looking behind her she muttered, “sorry I’ll be out of your way in just a second.”

Noah inhaled, he knew that tone. There was no arguing or compromising. This was a command, and Jaymes was his alpha. He gave her a nod before adding a “be careful” There was something that felt off, but he couldn’t quite place it, nor did he feel it was his place to address it…at least not at the moment. 

Jaymes blinked slowly as she exhaled in relief. Despite that something was gnawing at the back of her mind. Something she was forgetting. The alpha watched him, his note to be careful jumped what she was forgetting to the forefront of her mind. “Noah.” She called softly, “ Don’t tell anyone you saw me.”

“I don’t really want to go home” he shook his head a little “can’t you answer it with me here?” his hand moved up to scratch behind his ear a little. “I don’t think you’ll try to eat me, and I can warn you now I’m probably not very good anyways”

There as no inflection or emotion in the Alpha’s voice as she spoke the command, “Home, Noah.” She was coming down off of her high and all she wanted to do was go home and do more. Her body was literally itching to do it. The was no life in her eyes as they finally focused on his face, “I don’t need anyone catching you out here with me or asking questions.” She needed to be invisible. Jaymes needed to disappear.

“I’m not lying, alpha” he sighed a little “I couldn’t sleep. Which, I’m going to guess you couldn’t either. Why else would you be out in the woods in the middle of the night?” 

Jaymes glanced up at the moon and pointed, “I’m nocturnal.” She chose to only address the subject change, “I’m literally a wolf a majority of my life.” The alpha shook her head as the thoughts of Daphne started to remind her why she was more wolf then human these days and took a couple steps backward. The wolf demanded freedom as her human mind started to spin. “Speaking of. She calls. Let’s get you home so I can answer.”