not found.

Did I say it was?

I dunno, did you?

You are so cute lol. But I agree, that’s rude and they are just dirty liars. 

They are dirty liars, even though I love the State Farm commercials almost as much as I love the Snickers commercials.

Damn my guitar playing is rusty as hell. It’s embarrassing. I thought that shit was like riding a bike.

And why is that my problem?

Oh, yes because your boss might fall in love with you and want it to be exclusive. Good thinking. I bet they are, I know nothing about that stuff. I mean, just going to college and getting a degree in something looks good on a resume.

It could be possible, it happens all the time in movies and with my looks, you never know. There's so much talent out there, it's actually insane. You think so? I dunno...I'm really thinking of just putting how many virginities I've taken so far, that'll probably look good.

I think you’re going to have to go pro for basketball then, since your resume is going to be limited. I don’t think that would really help with the whole job process. Unless you’re planning to sleep your way into the job?

Nah, I'm not that much of a...I don't even know how to describe what that would be. I'm not planning that at all, sleeping my way into the job wouldn't end well when the boss learned that I'm not exclusive. Basketball might be a little harder, I mean I could always declare myself eligible and shit for the draft but I dunno, professional sports are hard.

Yeah, it does, because if you like taxes, who am I to say you’re wrong? Like… you do you, you know?

Yeah, you're right. I will do me even though I don't like taxes, that was just an example. That's like a no judging thing almost, I like that.

You're pretty angry about this, wow. I didn't know someone could be this passionate about this, Natalie.

I already know I’m gonna regret this.

Then why'd you even join if you already know this?

It’s really amazing how productive I become when my favorite songs are on repeat. After Pilates this morning, I was able to organize my entire closet by type, color and outfit flexibility. And it only took me three hours. Thank you, T. Swift!

How the hell did you do that? All my clothes are like so disorganized, I'm lucky I can find pants to wear in the morning.

Just got to witness a couple in their eighties, who’ve been married for forty-six years, renewing their wedding vows as an early Valentine’s gift. It was single-handedly the sweetest thing I’ve witnessed all year. Every time I start to question if there’s such a thing as true love, the world always shifts to prove it’s real.

Okay Nicholas Sparks, are you gonna write a novel about it now or something?

What you’re trained in that’s work-related to the job you’re applying to, just to be clear. Good at sex or schmoozing a girl does not count.

Dammit, there goes everything I'm qualified for. Do you think they'll at least get the sense that I'm good at sex and that I have like a whole line of chicks waiting to get with me? Because I think that would really help with the whole job process.

Sure, I respect your opinion and you’re a hot guy. You can say whatever you want.

Well yeah, I know that but does that make it completely right in what I'm saying? Well actually I'll answer this and say hell yeah.

Maybe you should try to get a job as a mattress tester. That’s probably a job somewhere?

I'd probably get too bored. I feel like any job that I'm going to have is going to like completely suck.

Good to know I was getting hounded by sellers why you were getting some. Buy your coffee, pfftt. What do I look like, Jay?

Well what can I say, dude? I am that guy, if you know what I mean. You look like someone who would've known what to do if I was there.

But that requires effort.

Would this be wrong of me to say that you could always pay someone? Or at least pay someone to "help" you as in tutor you but in reality, they're doing all the work? That could definitely work.

Because it is. Like… it just is, Jay. It just is.

So if I said that like taxes were fun, I could just say because it just is? That's not a good enough reason, I need something more specific.