jay blue

new mindset

so blinding, see behind it

so stylish

even when they can’t see it

please believe it.

day trippin on the scene quick

bout to blow, call it bulimic.

never squeamish tho

new scenery being invoked

the twin cities need it.

a new hope, provoke growth.

we still move smooth through the smoke.

swinging from rope to rope hoping never to float below.

please vote.

but fuq the govenment

we stay on some other shit.

realness instead of a real mess.

peel the layers back, bring the real rhymesayers back.

maybe somehow the spirit will be revived

reunited w. my guys

and i’m feeling alive

new surprises

different turns

spur the growth +

never lose hope

still blowin smoke but

so much more controlled

trying to figure out what’s worth being sold

pretty much nothing...

still turning into something tho

staying humble

through the struggle

+ the ascension

not worried about the mentions

let’s change our destinies..

sometimes still drinkin till the cup runneth over

definitely not a soldier but i have warrior blood/

still unsure of what’s what/

but at least i still pursue love

in everything i do, even though it’s hard

tryna stay out of bars and sometimes feelin like i’m behind bars.

but other times i feel free

warmth of the sun and water right in front of me/

i must believe

in the manifestation of some kind of thought.

some kind of comfort for the distraught and a map for the lost.

counting my losses

still despising my bosses/

if we could break free it would be awesome

but what would it cost us?

//

most days i’m happy just to be with leon and alyssa/

tryna blow the universe kisses and dismiss those that diss us/

thinkin bout everything in this world we need to discuss/

try to find something clean in this grime and puss/

that we wade through

continue to pay dues

it’s the only debts worth paying back!

the banks cut you no slack

so you should do the same/

raise the aim in this game and maybe we

can all be the same...

sometimes the rain hides the pain/

most days i just try to stay sane/

give hugs + press on in my own lane/

nobody’s really lame we jus love to place blame/

find beauty in the stains,

maybe we find amazement in this maze

i think we’re gonna make it

poetry is better

keeps me clever

helps me get through the weather.

still not about cheddar

like, literally vegan

where do i begin with the problems?

how to solve em?

how to evolve beyond them

or maybe it’s me. not really sure what to believe,

but i feel the pressure of the moon breathing down my back.

tryna teach me how to act,

i’m not with that.

too easily distracted by the fact that i’m not stackin

anything besides sadness/

multitudes of madness feelin ravaged/

am i a savage now too?

or can i still u turn on the route

to greatness?

-all the different paths of people

-altogether

-very dense

-so much imagery

-time and space travel

-normalcy / beauty

-

it’s like standing on a freeway bridge

come see how we live.

how much could you give up?

I tell the zombies to jus fill up the tip cup/

no more zips gettin flipped up/

my life became a beautiful mix up/

the profs see me in disgust

feelin like i missed the bus

luckily i like to walk

and it’s only a few blocks

and i don’t feel awful,

gotta keep off the booze

try not to live a life misused/

too many lives used up already/

steady with the balance

figure out some new talents

a reason to challenged/

to eventually challenge the system we livin

to break free of the confines we’ve been givin

something within myself

a will to help

get the feelings out

release the self doubt

look for a mountain of confidence.

i still can’t find it.

let alone climb it, but never mind the shit.

i’m not defined by what i wish for/

seeking bliss more/

i need to kiss her more too/

more in tune w. the bruises/

i should learn to wear a helmet more often.

a little more caution/

when im blowin dro in the wind/

not really boredom within/

but definitely complacency/

seeking safety in the spaces i need/

anxiety is a real b**ch, life feelin like a ditch sometimes.

or maybe this rip jus needs a stitch.

to fix the wrinkle in time/

but for now my mind oozes/

out of the cracks, my psyche wanders along the tracks/

constantly forgetting my way back.

tryna make a lasting impact/

to put society back on track/

no champagne to pop/

stove always hot

stay cookin like cooks wearin crocs

more portland than i thought

hipster as fuq aint no stoppin it

but guac for breakfast on baguette is an accomplishment/

keepin it vegan even on the weekend/

still bumpin tha weeknd/

see me treading in the deep end/

tryna see me as them/

keep it empathetic and less skeptical/

chest full of passion even tho i try to mask it/

i seek the sun & then i bask in it/

spring has a certain smell to it.

the breezes get a little more damp and alot less sharp.

as of right now, it’s march in pdx. everyone is looking for a patio to consume booze on. i’m not mad at it.

the quest to understand/ deal with love continues, along with the extreme repetitiveness of life as a wage slave. the way out of this maze is not particularly clear. most days i’m pretty sure we’re in the Matrix. Here’s to hoping though...

Actually, fuck, I’m supposed to be doing something about this alcoholism. The real question is... how do we break the cycles? How do we move beyond our current perspective and senses? Is the existentialist dread real? What do we really fee like?

Back to reality. I better keep jumping through these hoops if I expect to make it out of the jungle alive. I think the race thing will always be a problem. A problem we can overcome together, yes, but still a problem.

Honestly though, a little empathy goes a long way. We are not as different as we appear. Things are not as they seem.

I still can’t remember dreams either, but I’m happy to sleep. My friends and lovers have not been so lucky. But maybe literal insomnia is what I feel like most of the time. Trapped against my will. Full of anxiety. Full of self doubt.

What if I was speeding down the highway when my threshold passed? *

But still, balconies are beautiful. Suspended we are, in mid air, as the smoke swirls. It’s good to be among the birds for a change.