Living Louder

I know they will, Jas. These butterflies will—I’m sure they’ll follow you anywhere.

But then... you won't get to see them. That would be sad.

It’s about a nice girl a lot like you, who finds a nice boy to love her. [clears her throat and continues reading] “They look at me strangely as if trying to fathom what could have happened back then, though I seldom bother to explain. Because I’ve lived here for most of my life, I don’t feel that I have to unless it’s on my terms, and that would take more time than most people are willing to give me.”

That sounds like a very nice story. But a sad one. [closes her eyes to listen]

No, but tell me about them love. I want to hear all about them.

They're purple. And blue. They've been staying with me.

I know they will, Jas. These butterflies will—I’m sure they’ll follow you anywhere.

I hope so. I'd miss them.

Okay I think we can read that. It is your favorite. You told me that once. [picks up the book and begins to read] When I was seventeen my life changed forever. I know there are people who wonder about me when I say that….

Thank you. I don't remember what it's about. [settles back to listen]

[Looks where she’s pointing and nods.] I see them now. They’re really pretty, Jasmine. 

Yes they are. I hope they have butterflies like that where I'm going.

Sure, what would you like me to read to you?

Something nice. My... my brother brought that one. [gestures weakly at the book on the table] A Walk to Remember. He said it was my favorite.

No, I didn’t bring you any food sweetie. Just came for a visit. Well if that’s what you want to do then that’s what we’ll do.

Will you read to me then? The other nurse read to me. It was nice.

I—um—I don’t see any butterflies, Jas. Maybe I’m just missing them. 

You don't see them? They're right... [lifts her hand up shakily to point]. Right there.