Jared Joyal

Look officer, I just wanted to know if there was a local college where I could get academically recognized for taking production-focused elective courses when I searched "film minors near me".

Dear Lord, if it is your will, work through me and lead me down the path you wish to take me. Teach me to follow you faithfully as you may guide me to secure the point and achieve that epic victory royale. Amen.

A one-night stand but it's just a really sweet, romantic date then you give them a fake number and ghost them

I guess I'm just glad finger banging wasn't called finger nailing

I don't have the right to tell you to move on.

Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do to impress that cute girl that works at the bookstore.

Knowledge is knowing that the funny bone is a real bone, wisdom is not putting it in a bone salad.

Plaid is just grown-up tie dye

Gaussian blur me out

Get an artist gf so she can draw you nudes

The American Revolution was basically a grown-up version of “We are the back of the bus, the back of the bus, the back of the bus. We are the back of the bus and we’re better than you.”