Unapologetically Emotional

What do you do when you find your best friend and your now maybe-girlfriend drowning in a lake?

For Susie, it took only a moment for the ice cream to hit the sand before she dove right in. She wasn’t a great swimmer, having never been technically taught, but adrenaline and maybe monster DNA kicked in as she moved like a torpedo to them (her tail assisting, despite her embarrassment).

She knew something was wrong. She knew Kris was upset, but– but this was crazy! It wasn't like them– they– and Noelle??? What could possibly be going through their heads???

Her heart nearly stopped when she saw them floating eerily still in the water, but she kicked with all her might to catch up and bring them to surface. It wasn't easy, every part of her body burned with effort, but she was at least able to get both of their heads to surface.

“F-fuck,” Susie cursed, struggling to keep even herself up. She was by no means a weak monster, but two people were a lot harder to carry and swim with than one. Still, Susie had to try.

“C-c’mon, you two, this can't be the end yet,” Susie urged, pulling and pushing them along. “W-we’re just– getting started!”

Her chest grew tight, threatening to make her give up and cry, but she couldn't afford the energy loss, and just kept moving. She ached for her powers like in the dark world—she felt so stupid and weak like this—but it wasn't like she could give up, they needed her to save them. Everyone else was too busy partying, isn't that always the truth?

Susie shook her head. No time to think about that. She needed to get them to shore.

God– it hadn't looked that far when she had noticed Kris’ hand, but now it felt like the lake went on for miles– miles where she wasn't perfect and Noelle’s head kept tipping over, and her makeup was all ruined, and Kris–

Kris for a brief moment seemed to look at her, their eyes appearing red through the golden sunset and their soaked mop of brown hair. Their eyes looked heavy and dead, before they shut again.

Susie just growled, letting their look push her to save them even harder.

She gasped in relief when her foot finally hit rocks and mud again– though she rapidly had to cough up water. Now with a more stable position, she was able to get Kris on their back (damn, they were light), and Noelle more in her arms. She could feel her heart beating rapidly, which would’ve been kinda sorta maybe cute if not for…

Still, with her feet touching ground it was a lot easier to slow drag Kris and Noelle up the slope, before collapsing onto the rocky lakefront.

The thought of getting up and rolling over made Susie’s muscles burn like hellfire, but still, she knew she had to check on Kris and Noelle– whose chests were slowly rising in shallow breaths, but eyes still shut unconsciously.

“Fuck,” Susie cursed, looking around. “Fuck! I-I don’t know how to fix this!”

The dark world. Susie was a master healer–

No– the nearest shop was Kris’ dad’s, she couldn’t– but maybe he could help? Or maybe he was at the King and Queen of the festival thing? Then the shop would be fine– or locked. Not that Susie didn’t have experience breaking that kind of stuff but– but it was wrong, but they weren’t moving and they probably had water in them somehow and– fuck, why did this happen??? What went wrong? What were they even talking about? What was wrong with Kris?

Susie didn’t have any time, and this was the closest thing she was gonna get to a plan. Kris’ dad was just gonna have to forgive her for the mess. Or fight her over it, whichever worked.

Her body screamed in protest as she tried to quickly get Kris back on her back, her knees shaking now that they were in full gravity. Getting Noelle back in her arms was worse, so she ended up half-dragging her, cursing herself for not being stronger.

It was then, with Kris’ arms around her neck, and dragging Noelle’s lower body against the rocks the scent of copper overwhelmed her nose. She tried her best to ignore it, but when she had to slump Kris back up, it was impossible not to notice.

Blood. A lot of it too, all dripping from a straight–

Susie had to hurry.

Susie dragged her feet as fast as she could, despite the feeling she was actively sinking down. She knew she could do it, so long as she could drag one foot after another, past the park benches, past the trees, onto the sidewalk…

She kicked the door open in one shot, not even bothering to check if it was locked, or even closed all the way. She set Noelle and Kris down as gently as she could, her eyes scrambling for some kind of sharp object. All that was out was a rusty pair of plant shears, but that was just gonna have to work for now.

She took one glance back at Kris and Noelle, before muttering, “please work– this has got to work,” before leaping as best she could to then strike the ground.

She fell to her knees in relief when the refreshing cool of the dark world rapidly spilled out, swallowing the three of them and the flower shop whole.

She opened her eyes as she took a deep breath of cool air, relieved to find Kris and Noelle still behind her, both in their dark world forms (though Noelle’s was certainly more disheveled than last time).

“Alright, Susie you got this, you got this.” She crawled her way back to them and shakily stood, still feeling completely depleted. Despite this, she still reached from within to summon all the healing magic she could, quickly shooting the soft energy their way before collapsing.

+16 HP

“N-no,” she muttered, gripping the shady black grass desperately, trying to sit up. “I can fix this– I can fix this.”

Again, she tried to stand, but her knees instantly buckled in protest. Susie growled, quickly going to give it another shot when a gust of wind flew by and–

Green sparkles glimmered by, causing Susie’s strength to quickly return.

“Susie, what happened?!” Ralsei cried, rushing to Kris’ side. “Kris, are you okay? You–” the prince’s eyes fell on Noelle, and he practically leapt back.

“Woah, Ralsei, it's okay, it's just Noelle, she–” Susie went to check on the deer, but noticed she was still weak like before.

Weird. Why wouldn't Ralsei heal her?

Whatever, Susie was strong enough now to do it herself.

“No, Susie! W-wait, we–”

Susie gave him a weird look. “What? It's just Noelle.”

Ralsei hesitated, meanwhile Kris finally stirred.

“Yo, Kris! What the fuck happened?! Why were you just– what is going on?” Susie grabbed their shoulders.

Their eyes couldn't meet hers, looking at their now glove covered wrist. It takes a moment before their eyes widen, and they take out their sword, rapidly tossing it as far away as they could.

“Kris!” Susie and Ralsei both cried.

Immediately, they started running– only to trip and fall five steps away.

“Kris!” Ralsei quickly went to their side, helping them stand. “Kris, it's– it's okay, you’re safe.”

“Yeah, it's just us.” Susie stepped up too. “We aren't going to hurt you.”

Kris shook their head, a hand gripping their armour plate tight.

“Kris…” Ralsei tried to soothe. “I-I know it's hard, but–”

“You don't know anything!” they suddenly shouted, sending him back a step.

Ralsei blinked, before his eyes lowered. “Kris, please, just–”

“Kris..?” Noelle suddenly spoke up. “Where are we? Did we make it?”

Kris was frozen in place.

“Make it?” Susie turned around. “Noelle– you and Kris, you–”

“Susie!” Noelle jumped up, stumbling over her white robe. Susie tried to help her, but the deer stepped away. “K-Kris, what– what are we doing next?” she asked, a smile on her face that made Susie shudder.

“Noelle, I– what are you talking about? What did you talk about? Why did you go into the lake? What happened?” Susie asked.

Noelle smiled again. “You should've seen it, Susie– we almost made it to the other side, we were so close!”

Susie glanced at Kris, who avoided her gaze. “You– you almost drowned! You never could've made it across–”

“No!” Noelle shouted. “No, not with Kris by my side– together we can do anything.” She held their hand, causing them to go unnaturally still.

Susie stepped back, a sharp pang stabbing her gut. “What– what are you talking about?”

“You should've seen it, Susie!” Noelle let go to grab Susie’s hand, her skin ice cold. “When we were in the cyberworld, Kris led me on this beautiful journey– a journey where I finally learned I don't have to be what everyone wants–! That I don't have to do ‘Noelle things’– That I can be free!”

Susie frowned. “But… you don't need Kris to be your own person.” She glanced at them. Their expression was dead and glossy.

“Right… and that's why you let them lead you around too?” Noelle asked with a biting tone that was highly unusual.

Susie crossed her arms instinctively. “I don't need Kris to tell me what to do, I can make decisions on my own.”

“But you're more powerful with them, aren't you?” Noelle asked, desperation replacing any previous malice. “Don't you see, Susie? Kris is the key! They know how to break free! They learned how to stop being Kris, and I've learned to stop being Noelle– don't you want to stop being Susie?”

Susie gripped her arms. “I… I have, in the past but–”

“But Susie is a great person, as are you, Noelle,” Ralsei interfered. “Whatever bad parts you're running from, it's still a part of you–”

“That's the thing, I'm not running at all! I'm finally embracing me– the real me! The one that exists underneath all those christmas cookies, and candy cane pencils, and collared shirts, and knit sweaters! I'm done being what my mom and dad and everyone else in that stupid town expects from me!” she shouted, a cold wind starting to rapidly pick up.

Ralsei 's eyes widened. “Susie, Kris, we need to–” He tried to grab her arm.

“What?! Like hell I'm going anywhere.” Susie swiped it away. “Noelle, I– what about me, huh? What about this morning– was that just ‘doing what people expect’?”

Noelle looked away. “Susie, it was… it was nice, spending the day with you. It… it was something I wanted for a long, long time.”

The pain twisted.

“...’Was’?” Susie looked back at Kris, who was visibly shaking.

Noelle smiled again. “Maybe if you came with us, you'd understand. You could see what I'm capable of!”

The air grew colder.

“What are you talking about?” Susie asked. “If it's just dark world stuff, I-I don't need it! I already think you're, like– awesome, and stuff. You don't need anything else…”

“Kris knows,” Noelle chuckled. “With their command, I can do anything– I could sprout wings, and fly up to the heavens, a-and introduce myself to the Angel themself.” Her eyes sparkled with the distant vision. “With Kris… with Kris I can find Dess… save my father… fix everything–”

Susie stepped forward. “Noelle, that– that doesn't make sense– Kris isn't a doctor–”

“You don't get it!” Noelle cried, the room dropping ten degrees. “My entire life has been full of nothing but loss and pain a-and control!” She started to levitate, snow falling all around the four of them. “I can be more, Susie! Kris just has to give the word and I can topple entire kingdoms!”

Susie finally looked back at Ralsei, who looked ready to cry.

Susie had to think of something, and fast.

“Noelle, I– I know how tempting it is to just– to lash out at everything that pisses you off, but it doesn't fix anything,” she argued. “It just– it just makes it hurt more.”

Noelle shook her head. “No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! You don't get it! You aren't listening to me!” She cried, though her tears froze to her cheeks. “I'm beautiful like this! Kris, tell her!”

Susie’s eyes landed on their friend, who was still all too frozen in place. The look in their eyes, though, was enough to make Susie stumble back and make her desperation increase more.

“Wh-whats wrong with them? Kris, why aren't you moving?” She asked, going to touch their shoulder when they stepped back robotically.

Ralsei quickly ran to her side. “Susie, I-I can explain– but we have to go–”

“I'm not abandoning them,” Susie repeated before grabbing Noelle’s icy hand– pricking herself on the ring of thorns. “Noelle, let's just talk about this, please– you could have died out there! What if I hadn't seen Kris’s hand sticking out? Or seen the bread crumbs? What about your parents–”

“My parents are gone!” Noelle cried, the snow turning to hail momentarily. “My dad is dying– a-and my mom– she just holds me back! A-always expecting nothing but perfection–! I can't do it! Once my dad is gone, I'll– I'll have nothing!” she wept.

Susie’s heart sank. “Noelle…”

The deer shook her head. “But– but with Kris, I have everything. I can do anything! Together, we are going to go farther than any human or monster has ever been! We’ll destroy barriers, fly beyond horizons, a-and fix everything!”

“Noelle, that isn't true– Kris isn't some kind of– of God! And you need more than just them to be the best you can be, I know from experience!” Susie argued. “I used to think I had it all under control when I was alone, and with Kris things got better, sure– but it got greater with Ralsei, and Lancer, and all the other Darkners I've become friends with– a-and you! God– Noelle, I-I–” her face grew warm. “You make me want to be a better person!”

“Then join us! See what Kris can do! Break your ‘Susie chains’, and hear the Angel’s call! It's in the lake, and Kris and I– we were so close– so close to heaven, I could hear it.” Noelle looked off, distantly.

“Noelle, please, you're– you're kinda freaking me out,” Susie pleaded, stepping forward again when Kris drew their sword.

“Stay out of our way.”

Susie blinked, heavy breaths now appearing in the cold air. Kris’s voice, it– something was wrong with it. It was hollow, almost echoey. It wasn’t right. It even had Ralsei gasping, his face somehow even paler than normal.

“Kris, you– you can't be serious,” Susie tried to play it light, but the sword was pointed right at her. How they even got it back, she couldn't fathom, but she– what the fuck was going on?

“K-Kris, c’mon, it's me. You– you wouldn't hurt me… would you?” Susie pleaded.

Kris lowered their head, but the sword remained, pointed with a slight tremor.

“Stay out of my way.”

Ralsei suddenly shook his head. “Let them go already! What have they ever done to you?!” he cried.

“Back off!” Noelle warned, sending an ice attack his way, which he managed to side step.

“Woah, woah, woah! Let's all just– like– fucking calm down, guys?” Susie’s head was spinning.

“I don't want to hurt you, or Noelle– please– just– just bring an end to this!” He begged, completely ignoring her.

Kris began to shake violently, their struggle evident in their body.

“C’mon, Kris, I know you can fight them off!” Ralsei cheered. “You're stronger than this! Your love for everyone is stronger than this!”

Noelle looked down in horror. “Kris–? Kris, what's going on?”

Kris fell to their knees, gripping the dark blue snow-kissed grass so aggressively it tore.

“C-c'mon! You can fight it!” Susie went along with Ralsei, not having any better ideas.

A scream escaped Kris, raw and hollow. It was enough to turn Susie’s blood to ice, as she instinctively held onto Ralsei protectively. Her friend clawed at themselves again, desperation consuming them as they tore off piece after piece of armor, until–

Until a sudden stillness came over them. They stopped screaming, breathing heavily as snowflakes landed on their hair. Susie and Ralsei both waited with bated breath as they slowly came to a stand.

Noelle floated her way back to the ground, slowly putting a hand on their chest. Susie was tempted to join them, but Ralsei stuck out their arm protectively.

Kris whispered something. Noelle did too. A nearly silent exchange, punctuated with delicate snow fall, before the deer locked eyes with Susie.

“Will you join us?” she asked, the area shifting in a way that was hard to see due to the snow.

Susie looked at Noelle, then Kris, then Ralsei, before looking at Noelle again. “N-no… you're– you're sick, Noelle– you need help–”

Kris interrupted with a spell command turning their back as they usually did.

“Snow grave.”

Immediately, the wind began to howl, the snowfall turning into a full blown blizzard in seconds.

“SUSIE!” Ralsei cried, grabbing her hand and running.

“What–?! What's going on?! Take me back! We have to save them! I-I’m sure we can–” the snow became almost too thick to see through, not helped by the omnipresent darkness that painted it grey. There was one point of light though– a little deer girl holding light in her hands as she threatened to swallow everyone in the cold. “Ralsei– what–?”

“There's no time! I-I have to get you back to the light world– I–” the chiming came to a peak, a sudden column of bright light forming above Susie's head.

Ralsei screamed her name, shoving his full force into her and sending out a ball of flames that scorched her skin and singed her hair– but after the fire died, so too did the wind and snow, and–

“Jesus– thanks for the save, man, but a little warning about fire powers would–” Susie got herself back up, only to fall to the ground again at the sight before her: a goat prince encased in ice.

“R-Ralsei?!” It– It didn't make sense, if Ralsei was the one with fire powers then– then he should be able to just melt out of there! It should be no big deal! He was fine! Ralsei couldn't– whenever he fainted in battle, he'd just turn to his scarf and glasses, or whatever– this wasn't like that– he was stuck with– with a pained expression– stuck halfway through pushing someone–

“R-Ralsei– cmon, Ralsei, it's me, it's Susie.” Susie touched the ice, despite the bitter cold threatening to stick to her skin. “Ralsei, it's okay, y-you can come out– Kris and N-Noelle–”

She turned to them, finding Noelle on the floor next to Kris. Their friend’s eyes couldn't be seen behind their thick bangs with the angle their head was at. Noelle, however, seemed “happy”.

Together, they walked away without another word.