stay high

So, you suggest I go on the broke but with plenty of candles route?

I’m not even sure it’s a particular one, I think it’s just because I’ve bought so many over time. It’s like, a gradual depletion. I’m glad we’re on a level of understanding, then. Perhaps we could help each other. Well, yeah, that’s a good point. I mean, as long as I have money for food, I’m pretty good, right? Like, what do I really need apart from food and candles?

How many do you have? We should make a plan to help you stop buying them and you can help me stop buying so many merch that I don’t need. 

I’ve lost count, to be honest. But there’s so much cool merch out there, I don’t know how good I would be at that job.

Are they Glade scented candles, but sexy Glade scented candles?

...what qualifies as sexy Glade scented candles?

I’d tell you to steal them, but ya don’t really look like the type. I’d say you just wait until all the ones you’ve got now run out. Vanilla scent is great, we have candles all over my house, all of them vanilla besides the one in my mum’s spa room.

I don’t look like the type, but I very well could be. I’ll leave you to figure it out. I order a lot of them anyway, it’d be pretty difficult to steal stuff I ordered. Oh, really? I approve hugely. How come, does your mum not like vanilla?

Don’t the different smells make your head hurt? On the bright but broke side, it’ll smell nice a lot. The pro for me is that I know what to get you for your birthday.

Nooo, they all smell amazing together, that’s one of the best parts. That’s true, though I don’t know if you should be encouraging my candle obsession.

I certainly do. What’s better than hazelnut and vanilla? I have so many scattered around my room and have them going when I read. 

Hazelnut and vanilla, I’ll keep that in mind. Have you any other combination recommendations?

I’m pretty sure I’d be a seventeen-year-old boy with lots of scented candles and three cats, but, you know. There are worse things than being an eighty year old woman, I’m sure.

In the wise words of Cady Heron, the limit does not exist. Unless you’re buying really gross ones that Yankee Candles make with dumb names like A Child’s Wish, Turquoise Sky or Snow in Love. In that case, don’t buy any, and if you’ve already bought some sell them on the Internet like yesterday.

But... But I love those dumb candles.

I don’t think there’s a number for too many scented candles.

Even when it’s gotten to the point where I’m having trouble finding room for all my new ones?

I don’t think you can buy too many scented candles. They’re amazin. I mean, I buy tons all the time, because what if I really need a pumpkin scented one to remind me of fall during winter?

A very good point. I’ve also begun to do that thing where you figure out which ones smell nice together and then you use them at the same time. Is that a thing? Other people do that too, right?

It’s too late for that.

I don’t quite think there’s such a thing as too many scented candles, mate. Their wicked, especially the vanilla ones!

So, I should just continue buying them until I am broke and then consider my options? I can definitely agree with you on that one, my whole room is in a constant vanilla-scented state.

You’re not a bastard. You’re just a white boy with really nice, curly hair, and a monkey face. Good, you do that. Spring is wonderful. 

I wasn’t being entirely serious, but thanks for the re-assurance nonetheless. And the compliments, they were nice too, thanks. Yeah, it’s certainly not bad,  is it? Just wish it was warmer.