Hoping My Feelings, They Would Drown

Patrick shrugged. “Sometimes the teasing gets under my skin, and I don’t like it.” He said. Patrick went back to the table and finished his glass of soda. “That wasn’t so bad after all.” He smiled. “I’m kinfd of surprised you brought me to a karaoke bar… We have never been to one before. I had no idea you enjoyed that much.” He smiled lightly.

James pouted. “It shouldn’t-’cause it’s harmless. I wouldn’t push you strip-dance here or anywhere”, he made a pause. “I was just joking”.

Patrick blinked a few times and then sighed. “Okay, I’ll let that to you. Surprise me.” He giggled. “Nope, it’s not better. Because I’m not stripping here.” He said, becoming a little annoyed. Patrick stared at James the whole song. He reallly loved that song, and sang by James made it special. People used to think that song was very romantic, he disagreed, he just thought it was… Tranquilizing. As James came back he shrugged. “Just a walk, before going home. Somewhere more calm.” He smiled. “I’ll sing ‘I won’t give up’.” He said and pecked James before coming to the stage.

He wans’t sure he was gonna be able to sing it well, it had a lot of tones on this song that he wasn’t sure he could reach, but he would sing it anyway. He sang it, closing his eyes on the hard parts, so he would get it right, and smiled at he finished, and people seemed to have enjoyed.

Patrick smiled at James. “The moment passed?” He giggled. “Okay, then.” The man smiled widely. “I already consider me a part of your clan. I’ll love to talk to your mom tomorrow.” He said. “First, that was a one time thing. Second, if I strip here, I’ll go to jail, and that’s not on the plans for today.” He said and giggled. “Go, I’ll choose something.”

Patrick giggled. “Because handdle you from time to time is worth all the good moments we have.” He said. “And you handdled a lot from my part as well. I didn’t make this easy.” He giggled. Patrick blinked. “I don’t know. Where you gonna say something more?” He asked. He took the song list. “Oh my, how I am gonna follow that song?” He said with a smile. “I’m still thinking about it. Singing.” He said not taking his eyes of the list. “It’s okay, answer your phone.” He smiled at James and sipped his soda, before going back on checking the list. Patrick put the list down. “It’s okay. Why is your mom talking to me tomorrow?” He asked. “Why don’t you sing Angels, from Robbie Williams? I love that song.”

Patrick smiled. “Okay, I’m okay now that you said it.” He giggled. “I got a little worried with your reaction back then.” He bit his lower lip.

Patrick smiled lightly, and then sighed. “Because it’s so hard to deal with you.” He said sarcastically and then giggled. “I don’t mind. Because every minute with you it’s just a dream. I’ve been more happy in these 4 years than in any time I remember.” He smiled. Patrick let go of James’ hands as the waiter came and took a sip of his soda, as he was feeling thrusty, and kind of dizzy with this love declaration. “I think you said all you wanted.” He said and leaned to kiss James again. “So, are you singing another song?”

Patrick had to giggle at that. “I’ll take your forgetness as my fault. For the door thing.” He giggled again. “You’re a little weird today.” He chucled. “I love you too.” He whispered.

Patrick’s smile was growing bigger and bigger by each word James said. Four years was a big deal, and it today, specificaly would be a great day. For some reason he got a little shy when James said his name and blushed lightly, as he smiled back at the other man.

The song by itself was beautiful, sang by James to him, it felt even more special. Patrick could hear his heart on his chest and he could’t help and look down, letting those words sink in properly. As James came back to the table he looked at the man. “You’re incredible. When I think you can’t surprise me anymore, you do. And I love you so much.” He said and held James’ hands. “Thank you… For this.”

James smiled lightly at that and looked down. ‘It was before the door thing...”, he made a pause. “It was because I’m an idiot and the door thing made it worse”, he chuckled and felt a little weirder, when Patrick said that, trying to hide his nervousness, as he headed to the stage.

Patrick nodded and called the waiter. As he made their order, he crossed his legs and looked at James. “Have you picked a song? Can I pick one for you, at some point?” He asked and leaned his elbows on the table.

James bit his lower lip. “I thought I did....but I forgot it”, he chuckled, finally his eyes leaving the list to look at Pat and smile at him. He blinked fast, as he said that and looked ahead, just remembering that he had arranged a few songs, together with the booking. “If I turn out to be alive after the first one, be sure you will”, he chuckled and leaned to kiss him lightly. “I love you, okay?”, he said and caressed his cheek, before walking away to the stage.

He took a few deep breaths, as he talked to the person that played the piano there and walked closer to the microphone, just to adjust it. “So hello...”, he started and felt the nervousness slowly leaving him and closed his eyes for a second, and after taking a deep breath. “This song...was one of the many I practiced to get here...for this day...’cause you know”, he started talking to the audience and felt surprised with himself, “ I have my fourth year anniversary today...I couldn’t be happier”, he smiled lightly, finally finding the courage to look at Patrick on the table he was sitting. “So, Patrick Peters...happy anniversary...and to the years that will come...”, he smiled nervously and swallowed one last time, before he could start singing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuvalwhclOg

Patrick giggled. “Bathroom acoustic really improves me.” He said. Patrick kissed James back and went to park the car. He found a good spot and parked it, but before coming out he saved the ring box in the car. The box was way too apparent on his pants’ pocket and he wasn’t going to need it now.

He came out of the car and headed back to the bar. He asked the manager where James was, describing him and smiled as the manager could easily recognize him, as he had, actually, reserved a table. He walked towards James and sighed. “So, I’m driving so I’m not drinking. Twi sodas, or…?” He asked, letting the question in the air, so James would fill it with any drink he wanted.

Patrick smiled lightly as he started the car and started driving. “You do have a lovely voice.”He said and then glanced at James. He hasn’t told James about his after plans, he would just take him there after they were done with the karaoke thing. “I don’t know if I’ll sing. I’m not awful, but I’m not good either.” He giggled and made a turn. As he saw they were arriving, Patrick took a deep breath. He parked at the door. “Why don’t you go find us a table and I’ll park the car?” He said.

James smiled at the compliment and looked down for a moment. He started freaking out, because he still didn’t remember what song he was going to sing. Maybe, they had some sort of list they usually play. He took a deep breath. “I think your voice is great. Don’t only give credit to the bathroom’s acoustics”, he giggled. He sucked on his lower lip and stared at the door. This was it, he thought and turned to Patrick. “Sure, love”, he smiled and leaned to peck him.

Patrick was a little shocked with James’ reaction but as the man kissed him, he kissed him back, bitting his lower lip, lightly as he pushed away. “Yeah, I’m done.” He smiled and headed to the car. “What is this new urge to sing?” He asked making himself confortable on the driving seat.

Patrick giggled. “Did I?” He smiled. The man pouted, trying to hide his smiled as James said that and, right after he closed the door, he pushed James to lean on it, getting as close as he could without touching their bodies. He leaned his face on James’ neck, smelling the man’s perfume, he sighed, blowing hot air on James’ neck, before rubb his lips gently on the other man’s neck skin. “Is it? Two years only?” He asked in a low tone before looking right in James’ eyes. “Well, guess we have to do somehting about it, at some point.”

Patrick oppened up a big smile as he saw James and stepped closer, holding the boy’s hand. “You… Look gorgeous.” He said and bit his lower lip, before leaning to give James a peck on the lips. “So, let’s go. I have the adress of the place.” He said and headed to the door. “4 years, hun?” He giggled lightly. “Feeling tired of me?” He said in a jokeful tone.

Patrick was so nervous he barely slept that night, seemed like he couldn’t wait to do it, but he didn’t want to do it in a blunt way. It was their 4 years anniversary and James wanted to go to a karaoke bar. He wasn’t really a good singer, and the karaoke bar wasn’t going to change his plans for the day. He took a bath and dressed himself on his ‘casual’ way, social pants, social shirt with no tie, and two buttons oppened. He kept the ring on his pocket, and want to the living room taking the car keys. “Hey, babe, are you ready?” He shouted not sure where James was.

Robert shrugged. “I guess mom’s.” He watched Lana and then giggled. “I’m on good hands. Guide me, Lana. There is no need for both of us to have a map.” He said.

Patrick smiled as he felt James’ member move and moved his hands away and pushed his pants down slowly, together with his underwear. He sighed and faced James. “I’ll take care of it.” He said in a whisper and kneeled down kissing the skin near James’ member, lightly.“

Lana swallowed looking at the map. “Oh do you believe that?”, she raised her eyes slightly to glance at Robert and then looked at the other leaflets there. “Those can be helpful....”, she handed one to Robert. “It talks about the departments”, she said and started walking around. “Let’s start with the basics. We are going to the main caffeteria...or the next coffee  veding machine”, she said, heading towards it. “As it seems each department has its own caffeteria. We are on...”, she started saying s she opened the map and then looked around. “And we are not even if any building that they do classes in...”, she said and turned around. “This is the admission building...we’ll probably have to come here if we are accepted”, she said and started walking the other way.

Robert shrugged. “That means he likes me, at least friend wise.” He said. “Probably not. The team is quite close.” He giggled. Robert glanced at her as the uber stopped. “Yes. I don’t think Patrick got much of a choice till he quit the company. Though I think that Pat likes to be a business man, just not… Working for dad, I guess.” Robert oppened the door and held the door for Lana. “I don’t know if I want to. I see his side… And I already know that I’ll do what I wanna do. I just need to figure it out if I can do what he is asking of me. And I got today to help me with that.” He smiled at her.

Patrick started rubbing James’ member lightly and pulled away from the kiss. “Let’s just… Try and relax okay?” He said and kissed James’ chin and down on his neck, slowly.

Lana nodded at that and pouted. “Right”, she nodded even faster. “I guess your brother got that business gene then”, she chuckled. She smiled as Robert opened the door for her and searched for the reception of the entrance. “It’s a little early to think of that. We still have two more years to be accepted. What other people does your father trust their opinion? They can talk to him about it”, she nodded. “I mean, if I could influence your dad, I would try”, she blinked. “Yeah, right”, she nodded and his arm lightly, as she figured out where the reception was and dragged him lightly. It had lots of leaflets there and the first thing Lana grabbed was a map.

Robert nodded. “Yes… We do. We hang out with the rest of the team, but we usually talk a lot.” Robert shrugged. “Since Patrick left the company, I feel like my dad is a little more understanding. He wants me to do administration because no matter what I do in life, when he is gone, the company will be given to me and Pat, and he would like us to know how to administrate it. But he doesn’t support my career choice in sports. He suggested like… Engineer, architecture… But if I’m gonna do something, it’s gonna be what I want.”

Patrick smiled. “Do think of that.” He watched James waiting for the boy to figure it out and then giggled. He came closer James and closed the door, locking it. He moved James to be leaned on the door and kissed him deeply, as his hands opened the zipper of James’ pants and slipped a hand inside it, cupping his member.

Lana pressed her lips together, as Robert was talking. “That is a good sign”, she bit her lower lip. “Although, I don’t know if it’s an exclusive sign that he might like guys”, she blinked. “Was he stricter before?”, she asked. “I guess if you pull a few leaflets in NYU you can show him what you want and convince him?”, she suggested.

Robert nooded at that. “He is from school. He’s a senior, so by the end of the year he won’t be in school anymore.” He said. “I don’t know if you know him… He’s… Brad. The guy who plays basketball with me on the school team… ” He said. “I really don’t know. He is friends with all the cheerleaders, but I never heard of him dating one. I never heard of him dating, period.” He giggled. Robert sighed. “Yeah… I think I’ll double major. Like… What I want in the morning and administration at night. I just… Need to be sure I can handle what both courses will ask of me.”

Patrick smiled. “I’ll be there to give you support and strength.” He said. Patrick came closer James and fixed his tie and moved his hands on James’ neck. “Hey… You will do great. And to distract you. I have a surprise for you after it. I got something to show you.” He said and then let James search for the key. He looked at the clock on his arm and then shrugged. “We still have ten minutes before we need to go. I can calm you down some other way. Release endorfine.” He suggested, trying to losen up the mood.

Lana widened her eyes, feeling a little too excited. “Oh I see...do you generally talk?”, she asked him. “Have you ever hung out?. She bit her lower lip, listening to him. “Is your dad able to negotiate that or something?”, she asked. “I mean...do you like to be a business major?”, she asked.