Queen B

not smash, not pass, but a secret third thing (platonic appreciation)

just saw one of my mutuals make a vaguepost. didn’t get it because it was a vaguepost, so i kept scrolling. just a few posts later i found a post by a different mutual that was very obviously what the first mutual was vagueing about in the first place. so now i’m tapped in. i’m wired. i understand the situation. i can visualize the cyberbeef in my mind. i have access to all of the information. i’m omniscient.

Love being fun and silly with strangers… Today at the farmers market the hummus guy saw my bag and was like “We’re filling that up right??” and I was like Twist my arm!! and we both hooted. Then at the end he was like “By the way the baklava is only half sliced so make sure to slice before serving… that is, if you’re going to share!!” and I was like “Oh I wouldn’t count on that!! 😉😉” and we shared another hearty laugh. I love playing in this space with you

you finally confess your attraction to the hot priest and he's like "oh darling, I thought you'd never ask" and proceeds to bite your neck and turn you into another catholic priest

#hm. that sounds wrong but i dont know enough about catholics to say for sure [via @kirtlandswarbler]

my blog is a safe space for me. the rest of you are in danger i think

Guys getting hurt dot com

guys getting hurt dot com slash careers

what the fuck is rizz. tell me i’m the knife you twist inside yourself