Jacob Meldrum Illustration

Ott Lutra, designer and fashion mogul, discussing the impending end of chairs as we know them.

Tammy really means that. From the bottom of her retail blackened heart.

I think his name is Hamish. He plays that ugly guitar real good.

Larry is a rush job.

Boris Melnikov has never been to Russia.

Roderick ‘Red’ Moony gives them the stand up routine five nights a week.

Annette is putting herself through school while working at a second hand bookshop.

Murray Flippowitz studied for years before he was permitted to make sushi. Now he is at the peak of his craft.

Morty was always quick to relieve himself of ‘the tyranny of pants’ as soon as he got home from his store manager job.

Father Woolsey of Our Lady Bo Peep’s All Mammals.

Muscles P. Pigg had his name legally changed and regularly skips leg day.

Bruce Pawell, of Black Cat Paint and Glass

Mal “Bubbles” Zhang doesn’t care if you know the owner.

Reggie’s burgers are, surprisingly, the best in town.

P. J. Lionheart. The former mayor’s less ambitious cousin, who nevertheless is a favorite bartender at the local watering hole.

Percival Shellman would be honored and pleasantly surprised if you would go to prom with him.

Bill Hoofburg. The best crossing guard this town has ever known.