welcome to my crazy life...

disclaimer:

this fic deals with complex feelings around loss of virginity, the "right age" to lose your virginity, as well as exploring different kids of sexualities, specifically demisexuality though it is not named as such in the fic. I want to emphasize that there is no "right age" to lose your virginity, and virginity itself is a social construct, but our reader here is 26 and feels late and has a lot of shame around her relationship to sex and arousal. this is not to say that 26 is "late" or there's anything wrong with it, but there are moments in the fic that she is very unkind to herself and it's because she needs to unpack these feelings not because I believe them to be true. regarding demisexuality, I did my best to use my research and understanding of demisexuality to offer a different understanding of arousal for my character here. for her, she is awkward and uncomfortable with sex to the point that it feels foreign to her, and the way she experiences sexual desires or arousal is different to any characters i’ve written or what she sees in media. for her, she needs a romantic or emotional connection with someone to feel that desire, so of course enter our boys and some classic quiet yearning. if you are more educated on demisexuality than I am, and feel that this tag is misplaced on this fic, please let me know. I always seek to be a responsible writer, and want to be sure this is a safe and inclusive space for all. thank you, happy reading!

You’ve never understood sex in movies. It’s always full of heavy breathing, frantic pawing at each other, and the sounds. The sounds. There’s no way people in real life actually sound like that if they’re not acting, you can’t imagine it. The few times you’ve tried to watch porn made you feel the same way, uncomfortable and anxious.

So it doesn’t help that this action movie has an unexpected sex scene and it definitely doesn’t help that you're sandwiched on the couch between your boyfriend and your best friend. 

The throwaway female character moans on screen, her head thrown back with a grimace of pleasure on her face and your hands tighten, your eyes looking down to avoid it completely. 

At twenty-six years old, watching a sex scene in a movie shouldn’t make you want to curl up in your own body and die, but here you are. The scene is long, full of heated tension and steamy camera angles even before the couple on screen starts to hastily undress and moan together in the sheets, and it makes your whole body vibrate with uncomfortable energy. 

Yunho is relaxed in the corner of your couch, legs spread out on the chaise, his arm wrapped around your shoulders as you nestle into his side. He’s sweet, your boyfriend of three going on four months, and he seems completely unfazed by the scene on screen. 

Wooyoung is lounging on your opposite side, his legs cutting a diagonal line across you so he can rest his feet on part of the chaise too, all three of you tucked up under blankets. 

You probably wouldn’t be so unable to process your discomfort had you not gone out with them earlier in the night, a few happy hour drinks and back to your place with takeout and some more beer to keep the good vibes going. If you were stone cold sober you would probably be fine, but you had a buzz earlier, and a buzz always makes you more emotional. 

“Damn,” Wooyoung huffs a laugh at the screen and takes a long swig of his beer, “get it,” 

Yunho exhales a laugh softly through his nose but doesn’t comment. 

You can’t even bring yourself to say a word. The idea of sex alone doesn’t always make you uncomfortable, but more often than not it does. It’s worse right now though, the number of times you had thought about sex while simultaneously not having it with Yunho these past few months makes you feel like this movie is just shoving your own anxiety and embarrassment in your face. 

“Holy shit is that position even possible?” Wooyoung says, but you keep your eyes downcast, the sounds of the tv telling you all you need to know.

Your stomach clenches when Yunho responds, “Possible? Yeah. Comfortable, not so much,” 

Heat rises in your cheeks. 

He’s your boyfriend, that should turn you on, make you flirty and funny like other girls your age, but all you feel is a stark reminder of your own inadequacy. 

“I don’t know,” Wooyoung takes another drink and glances towards you and Yunho, and it’s just like your best friend to say the thing no one else will, when he laughs and nudges your knee, “y/n, what’s got you all embarrassed?” 

Yunho looks down at that. 

“Hmm?” You try to play it off, looking back up towards the screen as the scene finally fades to black, “What do you mean? I’m fine,” 

Wooyoung snorts a little, “Yeah? Did the movie get you all flustered? Cute,” 

“Shut up,” You cross your arms, rolling your eyes and trying to look back to the screen, “you’re missing the movie,” 

Yunho’s hand slips from the back of the couch to your arm. 

“Thinking about trying all that out when I leave?” Wooyoung gives you a cheeky eyebrow. 

Heat pricks behind your eyes. 

“That’s ambitious,” Wooyoung continues, oblivious to his word’s effects, but Yunho’s picked up on your tension. 

“Hey,” Yunho says sharply, “leave her alone,” 

“Oof,” Wooyoung holds up a hand in surrender, “sorry, sorry, she knows I’m just teasing,” 

You look to the side, turning your head away from him to try to collect yourself, but there’s no stopping the conversation now. 

“It doesn't matter,” Yunho strokes your arm, “she’s uncomfortable, lay off.” 

“Fine,” Wooyoung sighs, “damn, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hit a nerve,” 

He more than hit a nerve. In true Wooyoung fashion as only he can do, he reached right in, exposed the nerve, and squeezed. You nod, swallowing tightly, and your plan is to tell him it’s no big deal and go back to pretending this never happened, but when you take in a breath it comes sharply and tears slip down over your cheeks. 

Yunho tenses, leaning forward to see you, “Baby?” 

“Fuck, are you crying?” Wooyoung sobers, sitting up and reaching for you, “I’m so sorry, I’m… I don’t know what I said, but don’t cry,” 

“I’m fine,” You suck in a breath and scrub your hands under your eyes, “I’m drunk, it’s fine,” 

“It’s not fine,” Yunho brushes your cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. 

“Hey,” Wooyoung wraps his arm around your back and gives your thigh a squeeze with his opposite hand as he leans into you, “it’s okay, you’re okay,” 

“It’s not you,” You sigh, dropping your teary face into your hands, “it’s stupid,”

“It’s not,” Wooyoung starts to say, but you keep going. 

  “Yunho,” Your breath hitches, remembering how only two nights ago you had backed away from sex with him, leaving his apartment early again, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” 

Both men still, but then Yunho sighs, “I told you, it’s okay,” 

“It’s not,” Your breath hitches again, and maybe it’s the alcohol or maybe it’s just the final tipping point of how angry you’ve been at yourself for months, years, but you say it, “it’s not okay that your girlfriend is fucking defective,” 

Wooyoung’s hand tightens on your knee, and Yunho sucks in a sharp breath, “Hey,” he says, “baby, what,” 

Something clicks in place, “You guys haven’t had sex,” Wooyoung blurts out.

“That’s not really any of your-,” Yunho starts to say, but you cut him off. 

“No,” 

“We’re just taking it slow,” Yunho shifts, drawing you closer, “and there is nothing wrong with that,” 

You shake your head, and suddenly the sound of the television cuts. 

“Yunho’s right,” Wooyoung rubs your back, “and I wouldn’t have teased you like that if I knew. I wasn’t trying to be mean, you know that, I just assumed we weren’t talking about stuff like that since we’re all friends, so it didn’t get weird,” 

Nervousness bubbles through you, and you push their hands away, “I should go,” 

“What?” Yunho says, confusion all over his face as you stand up. 

“Go? This is your apartment,” Wooyoung follows you, the blankets discarded on the floor. 

“To bed,” You manage, trying to recover as you try to physically remove yourself from the most uncomfortable conversation of your life, “I should go to bed.” 

“It’s eight o’clock,” Wooyoung reaches for you, “what is going on?” 

“Well, I’m tired,” Your legs are moving, heart pounding, but as you walk past the couch towards the hall Yunho’s hand closes around your wrist and pulls you to a stop.

“What did you mean, ‘my girlfriend's defective’?” Yunho asks softly, pulling you back to the couch, his voice gravelly with tension and concern. 

“Yunho,” You sigh. 

“No,” He shakes his head, “you’re running away,” 

“Yun-,” 

“I’ve been patient,” He insists, “I haven’t pushed, but what does that mean? What the hell would make you think there’s something wrong with you?” 

You rest a hand over your eyes, taking a shaky breath. 

“You can talk to us,” Wooyoung murmurs. 

“It’s embarrassing,” You manage.

Yunho’s thumb softly strokes over the veins in your wrist, but he stays quiet. 

“It can’t be that bad,” Wooyoung says warmly, “you know all my embarrassing secrets,” 

You pull your arm out of Yunho’s grip and shake your head, “Fuck,” 

“Baby,” Yunho murmurs. 

“Fine, fuck it,” After years of biting your tongue, you’re not sure here in this moment you can do it anymore, and the truth all but bursts out of your chest, “I’m a virgin.” 

You watch Yunho’s eyes grow wide with surprise. 

Crossing your arms tightly over your chest, you take a step back, “It’s really fucking embarrassing, okay? So there, that’s it.” 

Yunho’s still for a moment, and then he pushes off the couch, stepping over the chaise to get to you. Your stomach feels like it’s dropped out under you, and for once Wooyoung is absolutely silent, watching your boyfriend to see exactly how he’ll respond. 

Yunho settles in front of you, sitting on the arm of the couch so that you’re eye to eye and then he gently touches your arms, “Sweetheart,” he says softly, “you have nothing to be embarrassed about.” 

His hands run up and down your upper arms slowly and you soften, “But,” 

He shakes his head, “That doesn’t make you defective,” he squeezes you, “I don’t want to ever hear you say that about yourself again,” 

You sigh, “It’s not just that,” 

“Then what?” He soothes you, pulling you a little closer until you’re standing between his open legs, “Talk to me,” 

“I’ve tried,” You explain quietly, “but I just can’t, and it’s not fair to you,” 

“You’ve tried,” Wooyoung processes those words clearly, and you finally glance at your best friend. 

You can only manage a nod. 

“To have sex?” Yunho infers. 

“In school,” Your cheeks heat and you try to pull away but Yunho keeps you in his hands. 

“That night at Yonsei,” Wooyoung blurts out as the puzzle pieces of his memory align and slot together. 

You grimace. That was the night you figured out how mismatched you and sex were, the night in college you decided to throw caution and fear aside and get a little drunk and just get it over with. Only it didn’t matter how hot your almost-hookup was, or how charming, the minute he had his hands on you everything changed in your brain. It was like you were disappearing inside yourself, feeling bleeding out of you until you were just a body you didn’t recognize. It had spun you right into a panic attack that left you running out of his apartment and straight to your best friend’s arms. 

“What happened at Yonsei?” Yunho tenses, looking between you both. 

Wooyoung looks at you for a long moment, “She met a guy at a party, and two hours later she was crying on my doorstep. You said nothing happened, you said he was just a jerk,” 

“He was fine, it was me,” You murmur, “I couldn’t do it,” 

“That was years ago though,” Wooyoung offers. 

You feel your cheeks heat up again, “I’ve tried to hook up with other people,” 

“Oh,” Wooyoung’s shoulders drop, his eyes going tender, “babe, why didn’t you tell me?” 

“It’s just so uncomfortable, I’m so mortified by the whole thing,” You rub your hands over your eyes, sighing into your palms. 

Yunho’s watching you carefully, but you can see him thinking and finally he says, “Were you ever planning on telling me?” 

Your stomach clenches and you can’t come up with anything to say. 

“Oh god,” His eyes widen, “you weren’t going to tell me, were you?” 

“I thought it might be different with you,” You murmur, “once I got up the nerve,” 

Yunho stands, running a hand through his hair, “Baby,” he steps away, pacing the length of the couch, “you can’t be serious,”

You expected him to be upset, but confusion at why he’s angry fills you, “What?” 

“I could tell you were a little inexperienced, that’s fine, but never? I could have hurt you, or gone too fast, y/n,” Yunho finally faces you, “we’re in a partnership, sex should be about both of us, and losing your virginity isn’t something to just get over with,” 

“I know,” You tell him, even though you really don’t have a good grasp on that at all, “I’m sorry, please don’t be upset,” 

“I’m not upset,” He sighs, “I’m… I don’t know,”

You’re quiet, panic curling in your gut that your worst fear of losing him was happening right in front of your eyes, but then Wooyoung interjects and the night seems to take the strangest turn with one sentence.

  “If it helps,” He says, “I’m also a virgin,” 

You and Yunho both swing around to look at him and you let out a startled laugh, “What? No you’re not, I literally know people you’ve hooked up with,” 

“I mean,” He nods, “okay, not a total virgin, in terms of percentages I think you win,” 

You laugh again at the absurdity of his words, clapping a hand over your lips. 

“I’ve done pretty much everything except had my dick in someone,” He says earnestly, “it’s not that big of a deal, I’m sure it’ll happen at some point with the right person,” 

“But,” You blink,  “you’ve dated so many people,” 

“Right, well,” He clears his throat, throwing a quick look at Yunho, “with girls it’s mostly just getting each other off and with guys, I’m uh, not exactly topping,” 

“Oh,” You manage. 

“My point is,” He steps towards you and cups your cheeks, “your very sweet boyfriend is right, there is nothing wrong with you. And if something is making you uncomfortable you’re not going to get over that by ignoring it or lying to people who care about you and want to take care of you.” 

There’s nothing to say to that. 

“Virginity is bullshit anyways,” He says firmly, “it doesn’t mean anything real, so if you’re a virgin so am I.” 

“Woo,” You sigh. 

“Yunho,” Wooyoung looks to the side, “come hug your girlfriend,” 

You smile, and in a second Yunho’s arms are around you, pulling you up and into his embrace. 

“This makes so much sense,” Yunho sighs, a little relieved as he rubs your back. 

“You’re sure you’re okay with it?” You ask into his chest, “I think most guys think,” 

“Fuck most guys,” Yunho shakes his head, “you’re not dating most guys.” 

“But,” 

“Woo,” He says, “back me up here,” 

Wooyoung laughs, “He’s right, most guys wouldn’t care,” he says, “but we definitely would want to know,” 

“You would?” You untangle yourself from Yunho to look at your best friend, “I mean, isn’t it all the same for you?” 

You know the question is naive the second it leaves your lips. Yunho’s hand stills on your upper arm, and Wooyoung cocks his head to the side before answering, “No, not really,” 

“At all,” Yunho adds, “there’s a lot I would do differently knowing that,” 

Wooyoung nods, “Same,” 

You run a hand through your hair, “I just feel like… I don’t know that’s not what it seemed like when I… or, fuck, this is so embarrassing,” 

“Come here,” Wooyoung pulls you into his chest and gives you a solid hug, “stop worrying what we think, we’re not judging you,” 

“Woo,” You murmur into his shoulder, “you don’t know, I think my brain is broken,” 

“No,” He soothes you, “come on, let’s all sit back down, we can talk,” 

You swallow tightly, but nod. 

Wooyoung pulls you gently back to your original position on the couch and Yunho follows, sliding into his spot and pulling the blankets up over all three of you as you settle in. 

“You can tell us,” Wooyoung says, tucking the blanket under your feet. 

Yunho nods before brushing his fingers along your cheekbone and tucking your hair behind your ear, “You okay?” 

You shrug a little, “I guess,” 

“You can tell me anything,” Yunho squeezes your hand, “I really care about you, y/n, I promise you can trust me,” 

You nod, and then you brace yourself for the questions, for the way you’re about to be more honest with these two men than you’ve been with yourself. 

“When you say you can’t,” Yunho brushes his thumb over your knuckles, “what do you mean?” 

You let out a slow breath, “I’ve never told anyone this,” 

Wooyoung smooths a hand over your knee under the blanket, a comforting rub of his skin on yours. 

“Um,” You don’t know where to start. 

“Does it hurt?” Wooyoung prompts you softly, “I know for some girls that’s a thing, right?” 

Yunho’s thumb stops moving, and he squeezes your hand again. 

“It’s not that,” You shake your head. 

“Okay,” Wooyoung murmurs, soft like he’s coaxing it out of you. 

“It’s,” You search for the right way to explain, “I don’t know why, but whenever I’m, um, intimate with someone it’s like I’m not there,” 

Yunho’s brow furrows as he studies your face. 

“It feels like I’m, I don’t know, not in my body anymore?” You try to explain, “Like I’m watching everything happen from the outside, like i’m stuck like that, and then I just panic,” 

Your words sit for a moment and then Wooyoung says, “That sounds really scary,” 

The tension left in your chest snaps and you suck in a sharp breath, “It is,” 

Yunho separates your hands and shifts closer to you on the couch, his body close and angled towards you, his hand cupping the back of your head, “You’re dissociating,” 

“Yeah,” 

He nods, “How many times has this happened?” 

“Um,” You look up, flicking through your memory, “a few times, three times,” 

“Was it always the same?” He asks. 

“Mostly,” You nod. 

“What really happened, then?” Wooyoung asks quietly, “At Yonsei,” 

“I told you most of it,” You say honestly, “he and I went upstairs at the party to his room, we you know, made out a bit which was okay. He didn’t mind that I was a virgin, and everything was okay, but then he started touching me and I just… yeah, I shut down, and then I started to hate it, and then I freaked out on him and ran off,” 

“And the other times?” Yunho’s hand slips down to settle on your neck.

  “Pretty much the same,” You tell them, “the second guy was someone from a class at this party, and then I swore sex off for a while, but tried again a couple of years ago with a guy at a bar. I thought a few drinks would help me relax, but getting more drunk just made it worse. I stopped trying after that,” 

Yunho’s hand tightens on your neck, “Jesus,” 

“It’s bad, I know,” 

He shakes his head, waving his other hand to dispel your assumption, “No, but I don’t like the idea of you in that situation at all.” 

“It was fine,” You sigh, “I definitely freaked that guy out though, I started crying the minute he took my shirt off. He got me cup of tea and put me in a cab home after that,” 

Wooyoung squeezes your leg and you turn to him, “Can I ask you something that’s a little… I don’t want to upset you, but,” 

“Ask,” You nod. 

“Did something happen when we were kids, or in school?” His eyes are soft, tender as he asks his careful question. 

Yunho stiffens but you quickly shake your head, “Nothing like that,” 

Wooyoung lets out a relieved breath. 

“I know it’s awful to say this,” You admit quietly, resting your hand on Wooyoung’s, “but sometimes I wish it were that clear, at least then I’d have a reason, something to make sense of it, but I’m just… like this.” 

Wooyoung nods, but doesn’t have anything to say to that. 

Heat creeps into your cheeks and you figure you might as well keep confessing, “I thought about asking you, actually,” 

“Me?” Wooyoung’s eyebrows raise. 

“Yeah,” You laugh, “after the second time, I figured it was a mental block about losing my virginity or something, so I thought about telling you and asking for your help since we’ve been friends so long, but you were dating guys by then, so I figured, you know,” 

“I still like girls,” 

“I know!” You rush to correct yourself, “I just saw how good things were for you, I didn’t want to, I don’t know, be a charity case,” 

“y/n,” He shakes his head, “you’ve been my best friend since we were six, I love you, you could never be a charity case to me. I would have helped you then, I would, well yeah,” 

Wooyoung clears his throat, his eyes flicking to Yunho, “Not in a weird way, I’m not trying to,” 

“Relax,” Yunho says, “I know you’re not.” 

You sink deeper into the back of the couch, leaning into Yunho’s warm touch still anchored on your neck. 

“Baby,” Yunho murmurs, “how has it been with me?” 

“Oh,” You straighten up, turning towards him. 

“Honestly,” He adds. 

You think about all the ways Yunho upended you. Friends first, flirtations second, touches coming so much later. There’s heat with him, nervous bubbles in your belly, and you swear sometimes when he kisses you, you can feel the vibrating frequency of it on your lips for days. 

“It’s different,” You tell him, “really different,” 

He nods, encouraging you more. 

“That’s why I thought maybe this would work out,” You confess, “I want more with you, but I also… if it is me, and I can’t do it, I don’t want to ruin this. I’m really scared of fucking this up,” 

“You’re not going to,” 

“Yunho,” 

“You’re not.” He says firmly. 

“Babe,” Wooyoung gives you another squeeze, “I think I know what’s going on,” 

You and Yunho both turn to look, “What do you mean?” 

“Those guys,” He smiles a little, “they were random hookups at parties, they were probably drunk and definitely not treating you right, but did you even like them? Were you even into them when you went upstairs?” 

You blink, “Into them?” 

“Yeah,” He nods, “like did you get hot and heavy on the dance floor and want to rip each other’s clothes off, or did you just… pick a guy to lose it to,” 

“Woo,” The question alone embarrasses you. 

“I don’t think you can just hook up with anyone,” He explains softly, “I think you don’t want to, or maybe, I’m not sure, but maybe you don’t feel arousal unless you care about the person.” 

You sit silently in that knowledge for a moment. It’s something you thought about, the idea of needing the romance element. It’s not like you lacked a sex drive, it just never felt like other people’s. You weren’t a porn watcher, you didn’t think about sex or sexual things when you saw someone hot. Growing up people would always make comments about people’s bodies, the way it made them feel, the things they wanted to do, but you always just felt hollow. The only times in your life you’ve felt those deep in your gut stirrings was reading one of your romance novels, or from the two men on either side of you now. 

“It would make sense why intimacy feels different with Yunho,” He sums up softly, “and why you would have felt safe enough with me to ask.” 

Your mind is still turning that over when Yunho softly interjects, “With me,” he asks gently, “when we’re kissing, you seem to like it, to be there. Right?” 

You nod immediately, “Definitely,” 

“And have you thought about us doing more than that?” Yunho’s fingers gently card through your hair. 

“A lot,” You admit, your cheeks heating up again, “I just… I was afraid it would happen again.” 

“Okay,” Yunho murmurs, his fingers soft against your scalp. 

“I’ve only ever felt that for you,” You confess, and at that you feel Wooyoung’s hand slip off your knee and you turn sharply, grabbing his hand to keep him from pulling away from you, “and you, I’ve also, I used to, yeah,” 

It’s Wooyoung’s turn to soften, his eyes flicking nervously from yours to Yunho’s and back, “You’re uh,” he stumbles over his words, “you’re saying Yunho and I are the only guys who have ever made you, uh,” 

“Horny?” You supply with a smile, “and I thought I was the embarrassed virgin,” 

“Shut up,” Wooyoung rolls his eyes, “you know what I mean,” 

“Yeah,” You laugh, “but yeah, I guess… what you said makes sense, sex has never clicked with me, I don’t really feel that kind of attraction at first, but you’re my best friend.” 

Wooyoung swallows nervously. 

Turning back to Yunho you cup his cheek, holding his gaze, “And I feel more connected to you than anyone,” you tell him honestly, “we were friends for a little while before you ever asked me out and things have been… the way I feel is so,” 

You can’t quite get the words out, but he nods, “Me too,” 

Yunho shifts forwards and places a single, soft kiss on your lips before leaning back and clearing his throat. He squeezes your hand again, his thumb still working an unconsciously comforting pattern on the back of your hand, and you wonder if he realizes just how at ease he puts you. 

Wooyoung shifts next to you, “Can I ask something else?” 

“Hmm?” You turn to him, pulling your gaze from Yunho’s, “Sure,” 

“The movie,” He nods to the blank TV screen, “that kind of thing, were you just embarrassed because we’re both here, or do you not watch stuff like that at all?” 

Your nose crinkles, “Are you asking me if I watch porn?” 

Wooyoung laughs sharply, “I mean that was hardly porn, but yeah, I guess I’m curious,” 

“Uh,” You shrug, “I mean, no? I don’t, no,” 

“Why?” Yunho asks, and then clarifies, “It’s fine that you don’t, I guess I’m curious too,” 

“It just seems so fake,” You admit, “all the moaning and the screaming, I mean I’ve never,” 

Wooyoung’s eyebrows raise. 

You clap a hand over your lips and shake your head, “Nevermind,” 

Yunho looks positively amused, leaning his head onto his hand, elbow propped up on the couch arm, “Go on,” 

You shake your head, hiding your own smile behind your fingers. 

“When you jack off?” Wooyoung supplies with a grin. 

“Woo!” You slap his arm and feel your face heating back up. 

“Sorry,” He says, but he’s not, and he doesn’t lose the smile, “when you masturbate, you do masturbate don’t you?” 

“Yes, I masturbate,” Your voice drops to a hushed, almost scandalized whisper. 

Yunho’s hand brushes over the back of your head and settles on your neck, “Baby,” he says, “you’re fine, you don’t have to be shy.” 

“Jesus,” Your eyes shut and you shake your head. 

Yunho shifts back towards you, “We can stop talking about this though, if you’re actually uncomfortable we can be done.” 

“I’m fine,” You manage, “I just… I don’t talk about this kind of thing regularly,” 

He nods. 

With a sigh you run a hand through your hair, “Yeah, so I don’t know, when I… well, you know, it’s just different than…. yeah, you know,” 

Wooyoung snorts a laugh and Yunho grins at your word salad. 

They wait for you to say more, but finally Yunho translates, “You’re saying when you touch yourself, it doesn’t feel like what porn looks like, like what the women in porn are experiencing?” 

“Basically,” You let out a tense breath. 

“Have you actually orgasmed before?” Yunho asks. 

You separate your hands from the boys, and rest the back of your cool fingers on your cheeks, “Yeah, I mean, yes,” 

“Listen,” Yunho smooths his hand over your thigh, “I’m not saying porn is realistic, a lot of it isn’t, but with the right person it can definitely make you feel a lot better than I think you realize.” 

“Sometimes it’s pretty loud,” Wooyoung adds, leaning back against the couch cushions. 

“Fuck,” You hide your face in your hands, “this is crazy, what am I like fifteen? You must think I’m such a baby,” 

“No,” Yunho soothes you, “I think you needed to find the right guy, and if Woo’s right and you need the romantic part before the rest, I mean, it would make sense why porn isn’t your thing.” 

Your mind flicks back to all the guys you’ve tried to lose it to in the past. The three you made it far enough with that it left a lasting impression, but also every other guy you considered. 

“I’m just so behind now,” You admit your fears quietly, “if we can even have sex, I’m so… I’m just so late,” 

“Learning’s half the fun,” Wooyoung says plainly. 

Yunho’s hand slides over your back, “Mhm,” he murmurs, “and if I am the right guy, then, baby, I’d be more than happy to teach you,” 

“Cute,” Wooyoung comments. 

Something warm and tight solidifies in your gut at his words. 

You don’t realize you haven’t responded until Yunho gently pulls your hands away from your face, “You okay? Jagi?” 

You nod, “I’m good, just, thinking, I guess,” 

He looks nervous, you realize. 

“You’re definitely the right guy,” You take his hands in yours, “I’m sorry, I’m a little overwhelmed.” 

Overwhelmed isn’t exactly the right word for it. 

You’re starting to notice all the little ways he’s touching you, and then you start to realize all the little ways Wooyoung is touching you too. With other people, this kind of intimate touch would twist your stomach in the wrong way, but with them it’s a pleasant kind of warmth, syrupy and soft, and it makes you want to kick off the blankets and drink a cold glass of water. 

Wooyoung’s hand brushes over your hair, “What are you thinking?” 

“I don’t know,” You breathe, “I’m just glad I told you both.”

He nods, “I’m glad you told us too,” 

“Yeah,” Yunho nods, “and whenever you’re ready we’ll,” 

The words spill out of you, “I’ve been ready,” 

Yunho’s eyebrows raise, his lips quirked up on one side into a smile. Now that the dam is broken, it seems all your thoughts and secrets just keep flooding out. 

“Sorry,” You huff a soft laugh. 

“Don’t be,” Yunho replies, “I like you more comfortable, you’re allowed to tell me stuff like that,” 

You nod. 

Wooyoung’s hand slips off your leg and you feel your stomach twist. He’s pulling back, putting distance between your bodies, and something deep down feels wrong. 

“Well, I should probably get out of here,” He says, taking that as his cue to leave. 

You can’t help the way your face falls at the idea, and Yunho’s eyes flick over your expression. 

Wooyoung cleans up his little space on the table, walking into your kitchen, and something deeply unspoken passes between you and Yunho.

You hear the bottles clink in the recycling, and the sound of running water as Wooyoung washes his hands and cleans off his dish. 

“y/n,” Yunho murmurs, “are you sobered up?” 

You blink, but nod. He knows as well as you do that you’ve only had one slow beer since getting back from the happy hour several hours ago, but he’s giving you the chance to pull the emergency brake on the rest of the night if you need it.

Wooyoung walks out, finding his jacket and pulling it on, “Text me later, and uh, thanks for drinks earlier,” 

Your best friend isn’t meeting your eyes. 

“Wooyoung,” Yunho interrupts, leaning forwards with his elbows on his knees, “I think you should stay.” 

His head snaps up, “What?” 

“I think you should stay,” He reiterates, “I think y/n wants you here, but is too scared to ask for that.” 

The curling, heavy warmth returns in your belly. 

”But,” Wooyoung blinks. 

”I’m not sure what we’ll do tonight,” Yunho offers, “but if y/n is comfortable enough to be this honest, and if we’re the only two guys that have ever made her feel the right way about sex, then I think you should stay.” 

Wooyoung’s eyes widen and flash to yours. 

Smoothly, Yunho turns to you, “If you want that,” he murmurs, “all of us figuring this out together, I want you to know that I’m good with it.” 

“All of us as in all three of us?” You manage, surprise coursing through you. 

Yunho stays the calm center between you and your best friend, and looks to Wooyoung, “Woo?” 

A silent conversation passes between them, you can tell that much from watching their every micro expression, but then Wooyoung nods, “But it’s up to y/n,” 

Yunho turns his focus back to you, “Only if you want it,” he says, “but you’d be safe with us, and you know us, and now that we know where you’re at we can take it slow and make sure you’re connected the whole time.” 

A light bulb turns on for Wooyoung and he nods, “We also definitely don’t have to have sex if you’re not ready for that, we could just mess around,” 

Yunho nods. 

This is probably going to be something that you’ll regret, but you hope not. If nothing else, the feeling in your body now isn’t anxiety or fear or numbness, it’s want. 

You want it. 

And you’ve been trying to figure out a way to want this for as long as you can remember. 

“Let’s do it,” You exhale, nodding, “let’s try,” 

Yunho smiles. 

“Shit,” Wooyoung laughs, “are you sure? We’re doing this?” 

“I mean,” You pick up on the infectiousness of his laugh, “who knows maybe this ends in twenty minutes with a panic attack, but, fuck it,” 

Yunho shakes his head, cupping your cheek, “We’re stopping before it gets that far,” 

You nod, pushing down the litter flutter of nervousness in your gut, “S-so how do we start?” 

“Let’s go to bed,” Yunho offers softly, “no rush, just to get comfortable.” 

“Okay,” Your voice is soft. 

Wooyoung reaches out to you and you slot your hand in his as he says, “Damn, who would have thought we’d be losing our virginity together,” 

Yunho snorts a laugh behind you and you roll your eyes. 

“Yeah, yeah,” you let him pull you to your feet, “you’re loving this, I see,” 

Wooyoung shrugs. 

Yunho stands and slides behind you, his hands softly gripping your waist, “Still good?” 

“Mhm,” You nod, and honestly Wooyoung’s teasing has you more relaxed then before, “good,” 

Wooyoung leans in and presses a quick kiss to your cheek, walking back towards your bedroom like it’s his own, “Come on,” he calls back over his shoulder, “let’s go pop some cherries,” 

You fall apart into hysterical laughter, stumbling forwards with Yunho still close at your back, the three of you collapsing into bed together with an ease you’ve never experienced in your entire life. 

Once the laughing starts to fade though, you’re acutely aware that you’re in the center of the bed and they are snuggled close on either side of you, just under the duvet and nestled close. 

“This is nice,” Wooyoung breaks the ice softly. 

“Mhm,” Yunho smiles, “I kind of thought this might happen someday.” 

“A threesome?” You laugh. 

“I mean,” Yunho shrugs, his hand brushing up and down your bare arm, “you two are kind of a package deal,” 

Wooyoung snorts a laugh, “I’ve heard that one before,” 

“I don’t mind,” Yunho smiles, “I like you around,” 

He smiles back, rolling closer into you and propping his head up on a hand, “Dude,” he laughs, “do you even like dick?” 

To your absolute surprise, Yunho smirks, “I dabbled in college,” 

“You did?” Your eyes widen.

Yunho shrugs again, “Some,” 

“Holy shit,” Wooyoung shakes his head, “this is going to be fun,” 

“Slow down,” Yunho rolls his eyes and nods to you, “we’ve got a million things to get through first,” 

A nervous knot starts to form in your gut at their attention, but you take a slow, steady breath. 

“Sweetheart,” Yunho catches your attention, his fingers gentle on your jaw, “how are you feeling?” 

“Good,” You murmur, “mostly,” 

“What’s the not good part?” He asks. 

You sigh, “I’m just nervous,” 

“Me too,” He admits, his fingers sliding up and down your jaw, “Wooyoung, are you nervous?” 

“Definitely,” 

“Nervous is normal,” Yunho smiles a little, “and we’re going to take our time. There’s no rush, we have nowhere to be, and there’s no wrong way to do this,” 

Your shoulders soften. 

“If you start to feel scared or like you’re out of your body,” Yunho cups your cheek properly, “I want you to say ‘red’, okay?” 

You’ve read enough romance novels to know exactly what the color system is and when to use it, but coming from your sweet, patient boyfriend, you’re a little surprised. 

Your brow furrows, “Why not stop?” 

He smiles wider, “Because,” he leans forward and presses a soft kiss to your lips before continuing, “if we do this right, you might start saying things like ‘don’t stop’, and I don’t want any of us confused about what we are hearing,” 

Something inside you flutters and you nod. 

Wooyoung smiles, an eyebrow raised, “Colors?” 

“You’re familiar?” Yunho smirks. 

“Yeah,” Wooyoung laughs, “a little surprised that you are, but what do I know,” 

Yunho ignores that comment, and you try not to fixate on the fact that if Yunho is that experienced, it might mean something about his relationship to sex that you’re not ready for. 

“Now, nice and slow,” Yunho’s voice is warmer, deeper in his chest and that pulls you right out of your thought spiral. 

“We’ll get comfortable,” Wooyoung kisses your shoulder gently. 

“Yeah,” You breathe. 

“You like kissing me, right?” Yunho shifts closer, his fingers gentle on your jaw.

It feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room, but you nod, “Uh huh,” 

He smiles a little, his pretty mouth parting as he leans towards you, “Just let yourself feel me,” 

“Kay,” You breathe.

  His lips connect to yours. 

Warm, soft, and slow, just the press of his mouth. He’s gentler than before, now that he knows your secret, but instead of feeling overwhelmed, you just feel safe. He nuzzles you with his nose, taking a little breath as your mouths part, but then he kisses you again, not an ounce of urgency in his touch. 

With gentle reverence, he lets you warm to being touched, he lets you adjust. 

Yunho brushes his thumb back and forth over your jaw, and you feel your shoulders soften, physically relaxing into the bedding. 

Your fingers grip down on his shirt, fabric bunching as the mere weight of your hand strains the soft cotton against the buttons. He’s warm, his skin, his breath. You can feel the thump of his steady heart against your fingers, and when he sighs against your lips you feel like his warmth has seeped right from his skin to yours. 

You shiver, some knot of tension inside you starting to unspool. 

Slowly, Yunho pulls back just enough to catch your eyes, “You okay?” 

There’s no pressure in his eyes, no push for more or irritation under the surface. Nothing like what you’ve seen with any partner before this. 

All you see in Yunho’s eyes is patience. 

“Yeah,” You nod, “I think so,” 

Yunho smiles a little. 

“It’s nice,” You murmur, “you feel nice,” 

“Nice is good,” Yunho smiles wider. 

Wooyoung’s fingers brushing along your hip bring you back to reality, and you turn your head just slightly, catching sight of your best friend. 

He’s watching you both with such affection it nearly bowls you over. You expected heat in his eyes; hunger, lust, uncontrollable desire, all the things you’ve seen a million times before in movies. You’ve heard plenty about Wooyoung’s nights out too, his stories of hookup after hookup leave little to the imagination, but here in bed all you see when you look at him is your best friend. 

“Hey,” You murmur a little lamely. 

“Hey,” Wooyoung smiles, adjusting his position on his side, propping his head up on his hand. 

For a second, you look at him, really look at him. 

His skin is tanned from the summer sun, making his brown eyes a richer, deeper tone with warm flecks of amber. His dark black hair has gotten longer too, just starting to brush the top of his shoulders with a natural soft wave, making him habitually brush his hand through his locks. His straight brow, the distinct cut of his nose, the lovely crooked curve of his lips, one dark mole under his left eye. 

“You’re staring, cutie,” Wooyoung wags an eyebrow to tease you, but keeps his tone kind. 

“Sorry,” You feel your cheeks heat. 

“You’re okay,” He assures you, “what are you thinking about?” 

“Nothing really,” You fib. 

He bites his lip to keep from shooting back a playful retort, and then he sighs, glancing between you and Yunho before ripping off the proverbial band-aid, “y/n,” he murmurs, “do you want to try kissing me too?” 

Your stomach bubbles with something new. 

Reflexively, you look to your boyfriend, surely if he’s not comfortable he would say something, but Yunho only nods. 

“It’s okay,” Yunho promises, “I want you to,” 

You nod, back to Wooyoung, and slowly you both shift towards one another. 

“I got you, babe,” Wooyoung assures gently as he gets closer, the heat of his body resonating through his clothes and yours. 

You take in a quiet breath, and then you feel his lips. 

His kiss is different, lighter at first. Hesitant like he’s coaxing out a secret from inside you, letting you come to him. You think faintly in the back of your mind it’s the first time Wooyoung’s ever eased you into anything, you’ve been dragged along behind him in his chaotic orbit since you were kids, but this time he moves so slowly and so gingerly you can’t help but smile against his lips. 

You exhale a little laugh, and you feel his lips curve upwards, his hand sliding forwards to find your hand, thumb gentle against the center of your palm. 

With a breath his eyes flick over you, “Still okay?” 

You nod again, and that bubbling strangeness in your belly returns, not nerves, but something else entirely. 

Yunho shifts his body next to you, both of your boys now properly leaning on their sides on either side of you, before he leans in and presses a kiss to your temple. 

Wooyoung grins, dropping his face to rest his forehead against your shoulder and he exhales a sigh of relief, “I can’t believe we’re doing this,” 

Your chest tightens, “Why?” 

“You’re my best friend,” He kisses your shoulder twice over the two freckles that stand out on your skin, “but I’ve wanted to do this for years,” 

“We kissed before,” You lean into Yunho’s heat as you look down at him. 

“We were eleven,” Wooyoung rolls his eyes. 

“Cute,” Yunho smiles. 

Wooyoung presses his lips to your shoulder again but stays still, just resting his mouth on your skin, before sucking in a breath and looking up at you, “Can I kiss you again?” 

“Yeah,” You can barely breathe. 

This time, he reaches up and cups your cheek, drawing your jaw towards him so he can lock your lips together properly. 

“I promise,” He says between kisses, “we’ll take such good care of you,” 

Your chest warms. 

“Won’t we?” Wooyoung throws a look to your boyfriend. 

“Mhm,” Yunho’s voice is rich and warm in his throat, “you’re safe with us.” 

Your chest tightens and then loosens pleasantly, nervous jitters starting to fade. 

  Wooyoung leans back, and they adjust their bodies once again so that you’re cradled between them. 

The quiet between you is soft, full of warmth. Not silence exactly, just no one rushing to fill the air. 

You don’t need to say anything, or do anything, you just rest here in the moment with their hands anchoring your body and your chests rising and falling in time with each other. 

Yunho finally nuzzles your hair gently with his nose, “Sweetheart,” he says softly in your ear, “can I touch you a little more?” 

You can feel your heartbeat pick up, but you nod. 

Yunho’s hand slides over the curve of your shoulder, fingertips gently skating over the swell of your chest, down your stomach until he rests there lightly at your waist. He doesn’t push or guide his hand anywhere else, he just waits, his palm a warm weight as he lets you get used to his hands searching your body. 

“You’re trembling,” Wooyoung murmurs. 

You hadn’t even realized, but you are. Just enough that they can see it, feel it, and your hand twitches in Wooyoung’s loose hold. 

“Is it okay?” Yunho asks, so quiet it’s barely a breath. 

You nod, turning your head to find his eyes, searching inside yourself for the right way to say what you’re feeling, “It’s not the bad kind,” 

“Yeah?” His eyes, deep brown and round, search yours. 

“I’m not scared,” You manage. 

“Does it feel good?” He checks softly. 

“Yeah,” You breathe. 

Yunho leans in, kissing you once more, “Thank you for telling me,” he murmurs.

Your breath catches in your throat, emotion striking you deep in the center of your chest, and all you can manage back is a nod. 

With deliberate slowness, their eyes steady on you, their hands start to move. They smooth over your body slowly, mapping your skin, your curves, but with a featherlight touch. They don’t take anything you aren’t willing to give or ask your body for any answers it doesn’t have yet, they just feel. Letting you get accustomed to them, the way Yunho’s long fingers tickle as they glide over your pulse points, and how warm Wooyoung’s rough palms are as he brushes your skin. 

Wooyoung’s palm settles over the blanket on your thigh and rests steadily as Yunho cups your face and draws you into another kiss. You shift up into it, pressing towards him for a little more sensation, a little more pressure, and the blanket that was up around your shoulders sinks down to your waist. 

Yunho glances down, fingers gentle on your shoulder, “How’s this?” 

“Good,” You reply, a little breathless from the kiss. 

Wooyoung squeezes your thigh and you let out a heavy exhale, feeling warmth spreading through your body slowly like molasses. 

“More?” Wooyoung murmurs. 

You nod. 

Yunho’s fingers hook under the straps of your top and he gingerly slides his fingers up and down, knuckles brushing your skin as he nods towards your shirt, “Can we take this off?” 

You hesitate, just for a split second. He hasn’t seen you like that before, neither of them have. Everytime you and Yunho had kissed, even made out, and gotten close to anything more the second his hand slipped under your shirt you had stumbled off his lap with an excuse to leave. 

This was uncharted territory with them. 

Wooyoung’s voice grounds you though, “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he offers, “it’s just a shirt,” 

“No,” You gather yourself, “I want to,” 

With shaking fingers you reach for the hem of your tank top, shifting in the bedding to try and pull it up. 

“Can I help?” Yunho says, hand hovering near yours, ready to touch you at the first breath of permission. 

“Please,” You let your hands fall away. 

He swallows tightly, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat and you feel something tighten inside you as you watch him. He draws your shirt up as you sit up a bit to make it a bit easier, and Wooyoung reaches up to help with the other side. Both of them tug your shirt free over your head as you sink back against the pillows. 

A little chill runs through you, and you find yourself pulling up the blanket a little. 

Yunho sighs though, his expression softening as his eyes skate over your full breasts, only the thin fabric of your black bra standing between you. 

Your fingers nervously curl into the blanket. 

“You’re so pretty, baby” Yunho murmurs. 

Wooyoung nods, “God,” he says, shaking his head with a soft laugh, “sorry, it’s just, you’re so-,”

“Beautiful,” Yunho amends his words, “you’re beautiful,” 

When he says it like that, it doesn’t sound like a question, or even an opinion, he says it like it’s a fact. An obvious, knowable truth just by looking at you. 

No one’s ever looked at you like that or called you beautiful like that in your life.

Your eyes glance down, hands fluttering nervously on the blanket, but Wooyoung reaches down and slips his hand in yours, lacing his fingers with yours again like he always has. 

“I-,” You smile, exhaling nervously, “I’m not sure what to say,”

“That’s okay,” Wooyoung murmurs. 

“And I don’t know what to do with my hands,” You admit, tightening your grip on Wooyoung. 

It’s embarrassing, nerve-wracking, to be this inexperienced and fearful at your age, tucked between two men who have probably lost count at the number of times they’ve had sex or perhaps even the number of partners. 

“Put them wherever you want,” Yunho says, “or just let them be. You don’t have to worry about what to do, or if it’s what we want. Just let us take care of everything,” 

Emotion tugs again at your chest, and you nod, biting your lip to keep from spilling out every thought in your mind, every worry and fear that you’re not worth this. 

Your hand settles over Yunho’s chest though, and something in you eases at the steady thump of his heart against your hand. 

Yunho looks momentarily shaken by your touch, something sparking in his eyes, but he recovers with a soft clear of his throat and covers your hand with his own, “That’s good,” 

You manage another nod. 

“Hey,” Wooyoung leans in again, brushing his lips over your shoulder and stroking your side, “You’re still with us?” 

“Yeah,” 

“Still good?” He checks. 

“I’m good,” 

“Keep going?” 

“Keep going,” 

Yunho presses your hand down just a little, a tender response to let you know he’s listening still. 

You’re not sure when the fear in your belly started to shift, but the heavy stone in your gut has faded away into something warmer, something new, something far from the panic you were used to. 

You feel Yunho’s hand brush over your legs, coaxing you to stretch out in the bed and get a little more comfortable, and they follow you lower into the sheets. 

Wooyoung curls into you, brushing his nose against your cheek, familiar and soft in a way that makes you smile. 

No one’s rushing you, no one’s trying to get anywhere. 

You realize all at once that this is what you needed, not a hurried hookup to get through the discomfort you felt before. Just time, space, everything taken at your pace, with people you trust. 

This time, you hardly notice when the blanket slides down further until it’s properly pooled over your hips. Yunho’s palm rests warm and steady on your stomach, and Wooyoung’s hand curls over your ribs, resting just under your breast without taking it any further. 

It’s then that Yunho finally speaks again, his voice barely above a whisper, “Can I kiss you here, jagiya?” 

Your stomach flutters as his breath drifts over your chest. 

You nod. 

He dips his head and presses his lips to your chest, this time letting his lips drag against your skin as he presses another over your heart, and then another over your breast, and then another. 

Your eyes flutter shut. 

Gentle fingers, Wooyoung’s, brush against your scalp. 

Yunho’s lips brush over the swell of your breasts, your chest, your collarbones. 

You take a shuddering breath, and for the first time in your life you don’t feel like you’re disappearing. 

“Okay?” Yunho checks, lifting his lips for a moment. 

“Yeah,” Your voice cracks a little, “yes, keep going,” 

Wooyoung kisses your hair, “Feels good?” 

“Yes,” You sigh, a smile blooming on your lips. 

Yunho’s hand wanders, from its warm home on your belly he searches your waist, brushing against Wooyoung’s fingers, and then drifts lower and lower still. He kisses your chest all the while, his lips dangerously close to the edge of your top. 

You make a noise you don’t think you’ve ever made before, a gentle catch of air, a little whine, and your hand curls into the fabric of Yunho’s shirt. 

“You’re right here,” Wooyoung assures you, not sure if the sound was in pleasure or fear. 

You shake your head, “I know,” you feel the heat rising in your cheeks, “don’t stop,” 

Yunho hums pleasantly against your skin, and then you feel his fingers at the knot of your pants, “How about these?” He murmurs, “Can we take these off?” 

You pause, breath stuttering, and your eyes open. 

Your pants are soft cotton, comfortable, familiar, but suddenly with his hand on your waist they feel like a second skin. The idea of pulling these away makes your chest tight and your heart hammer in your chest. 

Your eyes flick down to your legs. 

“We’re not in a rush,” Yunho reminds you softly, “this is about you,” 

“I want to,” The words slip out of you, “it’s just, I don’t-,” 

“What?” Wooyoung prompts you softly when your words die on your lips. 

“What happens after that?” You manage. 

“Just this,” Yunho promises. 

“Just kisses,” Wooyoung nods, “until you feel ready for more,” 

“What if I don’t feel ready for more?” You search his eyes. 

“Then we stop,” Wooyoung reminds you, “we go get food, we watch a different movie, whatever we were going to do tonight anyways,” 

His words ease you immediately and you nod. 

“You’re in control,” Yunho kisses your temple, “the whole time,” 

You nod. 

His fingers linger over the knot at the front of your pants. 

You nod again, holding his eyes. 

He tugs and the tie falls open. 

“Here,” Yunho murmurs, “let’s help you sit up a second,” 

They move like they’ve done this together before, not this, not you, but like they’ve cared for someone together. Their hands stay steady, smooth, never grabbing and never rushed. You rise slowly, the blanket falling away. 

Yunho reaches for your waistband first, slipping under the edge and then glancing back up, “Still okay?” 

“Mhm,” 

He pulls the fabric down just a little, just enough to show you that he’ll take it as slow as you need him too, and Wooyoung moves beside him to slide his hand up and down your calf to steady you. 

“Lift your hips, sweetheart,” Yunho murmurs. 

You lift up, and both of them strip the pants down your thighs, past your knees, over your ankles until they’re tossed somewhere off to the side and you’re left in your bra and underwear. 

The air on your skin makes you inhale, but you’re not cold, you’re just bare. 

Somehow you’re okay with that. 

Yunho’s eyes skate over you, his teeth brushing against his bottom lip, but he smooths his expression and looks back up. 

“You’re gorgeous,” Wooyoung breathes, unapologetically staring at you. 

You glance down, and immediately clap a hand to your lips. You had forgotten what pair of underwear you were wearing, not something sexy and lacy that would match, or even a simple black thong. You sink back into the bedding with an embarrassed groan at the blue cotton underwear, adorned with tiny rainbows and clouds. 

“You’re so fucking cute,” Yunho presses a firm kiss to your forehead, sighing as he smiles, “you have no idea,” 

“No, this is so lame,” You whine, hiding your face, “I’m not supposed to be cute, I’m supposed to be sexy, we’re about to have sex,” 

Yunho snorts a laugh against your hair, but Wooyoung lets out a proper laugh, “That’s bullshit,” 

“Woo,” 

“I like cute,” Wooyoung draws your hands away from your face and kisses your cheek, “so does Yunho, obviously,” 

Yunho nods, “But you’re still sexy,” 

“Please,” 

“Baby,” Yunho draws your eyes up with a crooked finger under your chin, “I am doing my best to be extremely respectful and trying not to overwhelm you, but don’t for one second think that I’m not in love with every part of you right now. You’re driving me insane,” 

“O-oh,” You smile, your heart tumbling over the word ‘love’ on his lips. 

“Exactly,” Wooyoung nods, his hand finding a home against your waist once more, “exactly what he said,” 

“Now,” Yunho murmurs, gently returning his hand to your belly, “where were we?” 

“Kissing,” You sigh. 

“Perfect,” Yunho slides a little lower in the bed and this time his lips travel further. 

Wooyoung trades places with him and cuddles into your side, pulling your face towards his so he can kiss you properly this time. 

Sensation blooms through your body as Wooyoung deepens the kiss, your mouths parting, and his tongue ever so gently flicking against yours. Yunho hums again, kissing over your breasts and down the center of your chest, lower still until he’s pressed against your abdomen. 

You take in a sharp breath, your body twitching under them. 

“More?” Yunho asks, lips brushing against the skin just above your navel. 

“Yeah,” Your breath tangles with Wooyoung’s. 

They keep close, their hands exploring your body with new purpose, still soft but you feel their boldness growing. You stay relaxed in their arms as they touch you, your stomach, your sides, drifting over your trembling thighs. 

They touch you, kiss you, until it feels like no patch of skin has been rushed over, no bit of you ignored. 

“Still with us?” Wooyoung presses soft pecks over your jaw, down your throat. 

“Here,” Your voice is just a whisper. 

“Good,” Yunho sighs, warm air spreading over your skin as he travels back up your body. 

You can feel your body responding, not in the way it usually does with a partner, but in the ways it does when you’re alone. Your muscles are starting to clench, core fluttering, and you’re sure that if you checked you’d find yourself starting to get wet. Something deep in your center aches, and your hips jerk again, just a little as they kiss you. 

“Baby,” Yunho coaxes you away from Wooyoung’s lips so can look at you, “how are you feeling?” 

“Good,” You nod, “it’s, I’m feeling good,” 

“Do you want to try something more than kissing?” Yunho asks gently, “Or not yet?” 

Heat crackles under your skin in an unfamiliar way, and your tongue darts out to wet your lips, “I think, yes,” 

“We’ll go slow?” Yunho checks. 

“Slow is good,” 

Wooyoung finds your hand again and squeezes it gently. 

“How about,” Yunho clears his throat softly, his hand skating over your skin, “why don’t you show us?” 

“Show you?” You search his face. 

“Mhm,” Yunho’s nails gently rake up and down your thigh, “show us what you like,” 

“How I masturbate?” You blink, looking between them. 

Wooyoung smirks a little at the directness of your words, but Yunho nods, “Teach us how you like to be touched,” 

“O-oh,” You shiver a little. 

“Then I’ll show you my favorite way to make girls come,” Wooyoung slides down in the sheets, kissing over your bare arms, the exposed skin of your abdomen. 

You don’t realize where he’s going until he starts to shimmy himself between your thighs. 

You take in a sharp breath, your hand flying down to cover yourself even though you’re still wearing your underwear, “You don’t have to do that,” 

“I know I don’t have to,” He smiles, kissing your knee, “I want to, I like it,” 

You swallow tightly, your hand finding Yunho’s chest again. 

“Pause,” Yunho instructs, and Wooyoung stills, “baby, what’s going through your head?” 

“This is embarrassing,” You murmur.

  “No one’s ever gone down on you, right?” Wooyoung checks. 

“Well, no,” You let your head fall back against the pillows, “but I also haven’t shaved,” 

The words run together, but they hear you. 

“That’s what you’re worried about?” Wooyoung says and you can hear the smile in his voice, “so what?” 

Yunho’s fingers skate softly over your belly, edging close to the seam of your underwear. 

“I mean,” Your breath hitches as his hand circles again, “if I knew we were doing this I would have prepared better,” 

“I couldn’t care less,” Wooyoung says, “don’t worry about that,” 

Your fingers close onto Yunho’s shirt, and he gets your eyes back on his with a soft sound, “Hey,” he murmurs, “relax, focus on me for a second,” 

You nod. 

“Can I feel?” He murmurs, his fingertips ghosting under the edge of your underwear, “Is that okay?” 

“Yes,” Your throat feels dry, but arousal stays pooled in your gut. 

His fingers slide under your panties, over your mound to the top of your cunt, slow massaging circles as he explores without ever dropping his hand lower to find more. He groans pleasantly as he touches you, eyes heavy with desire. 

“Fuck,” he breathes, “you’re so soft,” 

Your breath catches and you can feel your body starting to heat up and respond, sensation sparking through your every nerve ending. It’s strange how good it feels to be seen like this, and stranger still that the rising pleasure in your body doesn’t come with numbness, panic, or outright fear. 

All you feel is want. 

“I-it’s okay?” You check. 

Yunho’s brow creases a little, his eyes flicking over your face, and you watch as he realizes what you’re unsure of, what you’re stumbling over. Your only context with sex was probably porn and college guys with very different expectations than two grown men. 

His fingers smooth over the patch of soft hair on your vulva, neatly trimmed but present all the same. With a sigh, he grows a little bolder, cupping your cunt fully in his palm, his fingers resting over the seam of your folds, underwear straining over his knuckles. 

Your breath comes quicker and you dry swallow. 

“It’s not okay,” He murmurs, voice full of heat, “it’s good.” 

You stop breathing entirely. 

“Seriously,” Yunho says, “hair, no hair, we don’t care.” 

“Not at all,” Wooyoung adds quietly, a little squeeze to your thighs. 

“You’re letting us touch you,” Yunho’s hand slides up, returning to the top of your mound, fingertips ever so gently brushing along your lower lips, “whatever you think you know about sex, what men like, put it out of your mind.” 

You gasp at his touch, hand fisting in the blankets at the unfamiliar jolt. 

Breathless, you smile, “Porn’s unrealistic,” you manage, “isn’t that what you said?” 

His gaze warms, “Mhm,” he notes, “and it’s your body, so you do whatever you want, but personally I like it,” 

“Same,” Wooyoung nods, this time kissing your inner thigh. 

“You d-don’t have to make me feel better,” You brush your hand over Wooyoung’s hair to get him to ease up a little and he smiles up at you, leaning into your touch. 

Yunho grins, an amused expression on his face, “I’m not,” his fingers gently stroke the soft curls on your mound, sucking in a slow breath, “you’re a woman, I like that you look like one. I’d want you however, but I won’t lie to you about what I like or the things that get me hard.” 

Stunned silent, all you can manage to do is nod, your hands falling slack at your sides as you surrender again to their touch. 

They give you a second, just one, watching to see if that was the moment that pushed things too far, but when you don’t say anything Wooyoung nuzzles your inner thigh. 

His hands smooth slowly up and down your legs, “Keep going?” He nips gently at the sensitive flesh there 

Your breath is thready, and you nod. 

“Words, baby,” Yunho prompts you gently. 

“Y-yes,” You manage, “I’m okay,” 

“Can we take these off?” Yunho asks, voice low and close, his thumb rubbing against the band of your underwear. 

It’s your last layer, and you’re not afraid, but you feel everything. Every breath of air against your skin, every sliding touch, the way their hands press and hold, the heat of their lips. You can’t imagine what it will feel like for them to touch you there. 

Yunho’s words echo in your mind - It’s not okay. It’s good. 

You know he meant it. 

“I’m ready,” You nod, your hands trembling at your sides. 

They move as a pair again, Yunho slipping his hand under one side while Wooyoung reaches up to hook his thumb in the other. Slowly, they pull down your last layer, and Wooyoung drops them off the side of the bed to land somewhere near your pants. 

“T-this too?” You reach for the clasp at the front of your bra. 

Yunho sucks in a sharp breath, “Only if you want to,” 

“I mean,” You unclip the connection and let the fabric part, “I’m already half naked,” 

You push the bra off your arms and toss it aside. 

“Jesus,” Yunho’s lips part, his eyes full of heat as he looks over you, “I can’t believe you’re ours tonight,”

You feel a kiss against your inner thigh, but your eyes are locked on Yunho, “Am I,” you swallow back the question, biting your tongue. 

“You’re more than good,” He sighs, “you’re a fucking dream,” 

You shudder a nervous exhale, smiling now, forehead pressed against his, “S-so are you,” 

His lips turn up in a small smile, and he kisses your lips softly before easing you back down into the pillows. 

A kiss to your thigh brings your eyes back down, and you feel your cheeks heat as you catch sight of Wooyoung. He’s resting between your open legs, lying on his stomach, one hand on your knee and the other gripping the sheets as if he’s doing his best not to touch you too fast. 

His eyes are glued to your sex, an unabashed expression of need all over his face now, his teeth digging into his plush bottom lip. 

“Woo,” You murmur. 

He blinks fast, clearing his throat and looking up at you, expression smoothing, “Yeah, baby?” 

“You’re staring,” You turn his words from earlier back around on him, giving him a soft smile. 

“You’re wet,” Wooyoung says, exhaling shakily, “like really, really wet.” 

You feel Yunho’s hand tighten just a little on your hip. 

“I feel good,” You verbalize it. 

Wooyoung nods, and then gingerly he reaches for your hand. 

Pulling my shirt collar to a side he places feather light kisses on my exposed skin, nibbling and biting on it. Gulping, I try my best to ignore his attempts to distract me from the movie. Dragging his lower lip up my skin where he left marks, he moves his hand under the blanket to the hem of my shirt. Moving his fingertips up and down my thigh, moving my shirt up till it bunches at my waist, he sucks my neck lightly. Secretly pressing my legs together, trying to move away from his grip and failing to, I silently gasp.

"Pay attention to me." Rasping in a whisper he moves his hand to part my legs. Fuck fuck fuck why did I not wear panties today. Lifting my leg over his thigh, he grazes his fingers across my pussy.

"Oh so you were paying attention to just me?" He says smirking, as he notices my wetness. Rolling my hips slowly against his I feel his *very* prominent bulge. Biting onto my shirt collar I can't help but close my eyes as he smoothly moves the juices from my entrance to my clit.

Closing my legs when his digits reach my clitoris, I trap his hand there, moaning at the pressure. Grunting he pulls his hand out. Pushing my upper leg further till it's bent at the knee, I help him pull his shorts down.

Pumping his cock a few times, he places the head at my entrance. Breathing heavily I lean back, letting him do whatever he wants to me. Leaving open mouthed kisses from my neck to mouth he glides himself into me. Swallowing my pleasure sounds he moves his dick in and out of me. Gasping as he grabs my boob over my shirt and twists my nipple, he starts to rub my sensitive bud.

Squealing I clench around his length, causing him to falter his movements with a groan. Removing his hand from me he gets up and on his knees. Removing his shirt he stops me from laying on my back.

"Pull your shirt up to your chin baby." Biting his lower lip at my naked breasts and peaked nips, he pushes into my entrance again, leaning down to capture my lips into his as his hand resumes it's position on my clit. Moving my bent leg around his hip, I allow him better access to my aching pussy.

"More" I moan closing me eyes, he quickens his pace, grinding himself into me, biting my still exposed collarbone. Crying out I clench my walls as the feeling of him filling me to the brim of my uterus. Spanking my ass he thursts roughly a few times, rocking my body across the couch.

Pulling out of me again he guides me on my hands and knees, making me rest my face on the armrest. Entering me the third time, he grabs my hips as hard as he drives his dick into me at an ungodly speed.

"Your ass is out of the world babygirl." He compliments spanking me again. Grabbing my hair in one hand, making a messy ponytail, he pulls me up till me back comes into contact with his naked chest. Drilling into me, I feel his pelvis hit my buttcheeks as he begins to rub my clit again, his lips finding my neck again. Feeling my hair come down from the makeshift ponytail, the airflow in my throat starts to become restricted.

Choking my throat he pulls my head back till it comes in contact with his shoulder, attaching his mouth to my mouth sloppily, increasing his pace on my clit. Gripping the hair at the back of his head, I try and meet his hips, gasping for air as the pleasure in my lower stomach starts to become overwhelming. Moaning I release on his cock, shaking mymy thighs as I see stars. Letting me fall forward on the couch, he pulls himself out, pumping hishis cock a few times he cums on my ass and my back.

Satisfactorily admiring his work, picking up his shirt from the floor, he cleans his cum off as we try to breathe normally again.

"Wow" I whine.

"Wow indeed babygirl" He agrees bringing his lips to mine as sweetly as ever.