This is no ordinary lamp! It once changed the course of a young man's life; a young man who, like this lamp, was more than what he seemed: a diamond in the rough.
ALADDIN (1992) dir. Ron Clements, John Musker

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This is no ordinary lamp! It once changed the course of a young man's life; a young man who, like this lamp, was more than what he seemed: a diamond in the rough.
ALADDIN (1992) dir. Ron Clements, John Musker

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Animation art from Disneyâs ALADDIN (1992).
Lorcana really said "We're gonna give Jafar the most hardcore villain outfit in Disney history" AND EXPECTED US TO JUST BE OK!
I drew this image ageeesss ago so tbh I feel like I can draw Jafar better than this now. But I never managed to post it so here we go!
Return of Jafar - Rewrite (Pt 6)
(Part 1)
Arabian days, like Arabian nights, had a magic to them. Although the same sun shined across the whole world, here in Agrabah, the morning light danced like dervishes across both sand and water like it did nowhere else. And no one got to see this magical light cresting over the land earlier than Princess Jasmine, in her grand bedroom nestled in a high tower.
The sunâs very first light slipped through the layers of emerald green silk curtains and soon lit up the gold-leaf furnishings and crystal mobiles. The light swept to the back of the room and peered once more through a fine blue canopy curtain to greet the princess in her bed. But that wasnât the only thing ready to wake the young woman.
A gentle hand swept a strand of hair from the princessâs face before sweetly taking her hand in his own. The princessâs eyes fluttered open and saw a poof of shaggy black hair topped with a small sun-worn fez. She sat up slightly and smiled seeing the rest of the young manâs face. âAladdin, youâre home.â
Aladdin turned towards the bed and put his chin on the plush cushion top, smiling.
âDid you find Princess Diaâmah?âÂ
She was so pretty. His name sounded like poetry in her voice.
âAladdin?â
He still couldnât believe she liked him. More than liked, really. After all, they are going to get--
âAladdin!â
âHuh?!â Aladdin sat up straighter. âWhat?â
Jasmine sighed and pushed off her blankets. âPrincess Diaâmah of Zudan. Did you find her?â
âOh, that. Yeah, I did.â Aladdin leaned on the bed and gave a yawn. âSorry, I kinda didnât sleep much outside of a nap on the way back. Abuâs still sleeping.â He pointed behind Jasmine. Carpet was floating quietly at the balcony entrance. It gave a small wave before pointing a tassel at the small sleeping monkey curled up on its back. âBut the princess is safe in the Shiabab Sultanâs palace and they already sent a messenger to Zudan to come get her.â
Jasmine sat up. âShiabab? Why go there?â
Aladdin stood and dropped himself on the bed. âThe princess said some nomad saved her from Abis Mal and told her Shiabab was the closest city.â Aladdin looked away. âShe was pretty determined to do what the nomad told her to. Said the woman gave her life so she could get away.â
âOh dearâŚâ Jasmine looked down. âThat poor woman.â
Aladdin took Jasmineâs hand. âI know.â Aladdin stopped and then sighed. âUgh, look at me. You just woke up and Iâm giving you bad news. Iâm sorry.â
âItâs ok, Aladdin.â Jasmine leaned against Aladdinâs shoulder. âWe both know thereâs bad people out there⌠but that woman proves thereâs plenty of good people ready to do whatâs right.â
âI still feel bad. Hey, I have an idea!â Aladdin jumped off the bed.Â
---
âBreakfast by the garden fountain.â Jasmine giggled. âYou seem to keep finding excuses to take me here.â
Aladdin hung his head and rubbed the back of his head bashfully. âI⌠just⌠think plumbing is really neat.â He said with a smile, a smile that got wider when Jasmine âawwâed. âI mean⌠think about it!â Aladdin took the teapot next to his plate and poured it into Jasmineâs cup. âIsnât it wild that you can have water be in one place, then make it go through a bunch of those âpipeâ things and have it come out somewhere else? Itâs crazy!â
âThatâs really cute.â Jasmine smiled and took a bite of her meal.
âNot as cute as you.â Aladdin answered. Jasmine looked away and blushed.
The area fell silent, far more silent than should be normal. Aladdin looked around and saw the fountain had stopped flowing. Before he could speak, a huge geyser blasted from the top, creating rainfall in the plaza around it. Aladdin quickly got to his feet and grabbed Jasmine by the arm before running towards the palace.
âYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!â
The young couple stopped and looked back. At the top of the flow of water, a blue humanoid figure, dressed in an aggressively loud Hawaiian shirt, a long eared fur cap, and a pair of cargo pants, appeared on a surfboard with arms full of suitcases. The water rushed around the outer edge of the garden before splashing down next to the pair.Â
The man ripped off his sunglasses. âHeâs BIG!â He pulled off another pair of sunglasses. âHeâs BLUE!â A third arm pulled off the final set of sunglasses. âHEâS BACK!â
âGenie?â Aladdin gasped.Â
âThe Genie? Where!â Genie dumped his bags and poofed up a smartphone before looking around frantically. âOh, I love his work! His first movie was the best of the Disney Renaissance!â He lowered his phone and looks at you. âUnless you really like animals doing Hamlet for some reason.â
Aladdin ran up to his old friend. âGenie, itâs wonderful to see you!â
âI mean, sure, thereâs cultural sensitivity issues and those are important but do people really think Aladdin was meant as a historically accurate depiction of Arabian culture?â
âGenie?â
âWell, I guess some people think Zeus was a good dad âcause of Hercules but really thatâs their problem for taking mass-entertainment at face value.â
âGenie!â
Genie snapped into focus and laughed. âWhoops, sorry. Got a little meta there.â He turned to Aladdin and gave a huge smile before pulling the boy into a massive hug. âOh Al, my little buddy, pal, friend, amigo, compadre! I missed you so much!âÂ
In a flash, Aladdin was sitting at a table, Genie sitting across from him with a wide-but-feminine form dressed in a hot pink sleeveless dress with an apron over top. Genie took Aladdinâs hands and started giving him a manicure. âTell me what I missed, girl. Spill every drop. Of. Tea. I got ta know eârythang.â
âAhem.â Jasmine looked around Aladdinâs shoulder and waved at Genie.Â
âOh!â Genie pulled out an âOut To Lunchâ sign and set it in front of Aladdin before poofing to Jasmine. âHey, Uh⌠donât think we ever actually got introduced. Missed Connection, am I right? Me: Slave of the Lamp bound to obey a crazy old megalomaniac. You: chained to a crazy old megalomaniacâs throne in highly age-inappropriate clothing.â
Jasmine scoffed. âDonât remind me.â She saw Genie give an uncomfortable look. âItâs ok. Youâre fine.â She just never wanted to speak anything remotely close to referencing Jafar ever again. She gave a kind smile and held out her hand. âIâm Princess Jasmine.â
Genie grinned and took the hand. As he was about to speak, his mouth popped off and bounced down his arm before planting a big kiss on the back of Jasmineâs hand. Genie grabbed the lips and slapped them back on his face. âSorry, the boys get too excited sometimes.â He said bashfully. âThe nameâs Genie, but my friends call me Genie.â
âNice to meet you, Genie.â Jasmine laughed.
Aladdin stood up from the table and gave Genie a pat on the back. âNot that Iâm not happy to see you, but I thought you said you were going to see the world.â
âI did!â Genie answered.
âAll of it?â
âYuh-huh.â
âBut itâs only been like⌠what, eight months?â
Genie split into fours and shrunk down to lawn-gnome sized figures, one of a Danish lady, the next of a cowboy, the third of an English royal guard and the fourth a Russian dancer. âItâs a small world aaaafter all.â
âBut why come back to Agrabah?â
âOh, lots of reasons!â Genie started twirling in the air, sparks of baby-blue magic dust following him upward as he started drifting up and up. âSo many wonderful, beautiful, touching, nuanced, heartfelt reasons that can only be accurately told through the magic of song and dance!âÂ
Genie poofed down and leaned casually against Aladdin. âBut The Author isnât confident she can make a musical number be an entertaining read so you can just, ya know, look it up on YouTube or something.â
âThe Author?â Jasmine looked at Aladdin.
âHe says weird things a lot,â Aladdin whispered to her. âJust ignore it. Itâll save you a headache.â
âBut the gist of it is,â He poofed over and took Jasmine and Aladdin into a big hug. âIâve been all over the place, saw a lot of great things and met a lot of great people, but no one, absolutely no one, was as unforgettable, sweet, charming and just all around fun to be around as you guys.â
âSo you want to stay here?â Aladdin added.
âAs long as youâll have me!â
âThatâs wonderful! Iâll have a guest room made up for you right away.â Jasmine stated.
âDonât bother.â Genie stepped back and laughed.âAll I need is my old lamp.â
âYour lamp? Sure I got it, itâs in my room.â Aladdin pointed to the palace. âLetâs go.â
âLeave it to me.â Genie took a deep breath before speaking âDash, dash, dash.â Genie put his hands on his hips with a smile.
Aladdin and Jasmine gave each other a look. âAnd that meansâŚ?â Aladdin asked.
âItâs the dashes used to imply a scene transition.â Genie shrugged.
âWhatâs a scene-â
---
â- transition?â Aladdin stopped and realized they were now in his guest room in the far side of the palace.
âThat.â Genie laughed and leans closer to you. âThe Author wrote this bit before she wrote the previous three pages if you wanna know where her priorities lie.â
âUh, right. Itâs over here.â Aladdin went to a trunk at the foot of his bed and threw it open. Right there nestled carefully among Aladdinâs few other cared-for possessions was a smooth, well-polished golden lamp. He picked it up and took it to Genie. âI only kept it to remind me of you. I wasnât trying to see if it was still magic or anything.â
Genie scoffed. âNah, donât sweat it.â He took the lamp and tapped it against the bedknob. âThis thingâs as magic as a tax form now. It lost all its power when you freed me. Buuuuut that just means itâs waiting for someone to magic it back up!âÂ
Genie gave the lamp back to Aladdin and poofed into a cloud that swiftly flowed inside the lamp. A brief moment of silence as Aladdin and Jasmine exchanged looks. âUhâŚâ
A wave of blue lightning passed over the surface before the lamp jumped from Aladdinâs hand. The young man barely caught the lamp before the lid launched upward with a plume of magic sparkles. A small noisy chaos started; sawing, hammering, drilling, heavy machinery backing-up beeping, a stampede of cattle, train passing by, Jazz band marching by, then finally the small tink of a golf ball being hit into the plastic-lined hole followed by very polite light applause.
The wave of blue smoke flowed out of the spout and Genie reappeared, this time wearing a heavy work overalls with a bright orange under shirt. He held out two white tiles. âGuys, I canât decide. Which would look better in the bathroom? Eggshell or Swiss Coffee?â
Aladdin shrugged. âTheyâre both white.â
Genie slumped, throwing his head back with a loud groan. âWhat happened?â Genieâs voice came from inside the lamp. âHe said theyâre both just white.â About a dozen or more versions of Genieâs voice collectively groaned and the main Genie in front of them shook his head. âWhat about you?â Genie looked at Jasmine. âEggshell or Swiss Coffee?â He held up the tiles again.
Jasmine had a quiet laugh before she pointed to the tile in Genieâs left hand.Â
âGuys!â Genie yelled at the lamp. âWeâre doing Eggshell!â There was a loud collective âWhoo!â from inside the lamp.
âYou want to tile the inside of your lamp?â Aladdin asked. âWouldnât that make your Itty-Bitty living space even smaller?â
âRelaaaax, buddy. The only reason I couldnât do this before is because a genieâs prison is always made of their own magic, so we canât alter it or,â Genie started looking a lot less comfortable. â... ya know⌠have any hope of escape...â Genie blinked and put on a big smile. âBut now that all that magic is gone, I can make the inside of this thing be as big and awesome as I want! So Iâm gonna have a room for everything! Dining, bedroom, poker room, dogs playing poker room, foosball table room, Diorama-of-all-my-rooms room, you get the idea.â Genie took a quick look at his clock. âWhoops, time for the grand opening.â
The Genie in front of them vanished and another much larger plume of blue smoke soared out of the lamp. With a whirlwind of sparkles and fireworks, the Genie reappeared, bold and blue wearing nothing but a rich red sash around his waist, a perfectly polished gold earring and two elegantly minimalist gold cuffs on his wrists.
Wait, cuffs?
âGenie! Your bands!â Aladdin grabbed one of Genieâs arms and pulled them to eye level. âI swear I didnât do anything to the lamp!â
âAl.â
âWhat do we do? Whatever it takes--â
âAL!â Genie grabbed Aladdinâs face and made the young man turn to him. âItâs ok, watch. Look, nothing up my sleeves!â Genie pretended to roll up sleeves, making his arms vanish as he did. âAlaca-getoffame!â With a flick of his wrists the gold bands came off, hanging open in the air as Genie took a bow. âTheyâre just clip-ons, buddy.â He scoffed. âYou try wearing something for ten thousand years and not feel like you're missing something when you donât have them on.â
Aladdin took a deep breath, smiling a little when Jasmine came closer to hold him. âIâm sorry. I just didnât wanna hurt my friend.â Genie floated closer. âAnd thatâs why I came back, kid.â Genie looked close to the verge of happy tears. âLike I said⌠Iâve been all over, met so many people. And no oneâs a friend like you.â
Genie pulled away and clapped his hands. "Ok, that's done. What's next on this micro-chapter's agenda?"
--------------------------
"Whoa, that's a lot of dashes. Guess we're done for the day. Ok, people! Make room for the Author's Note!"
--------------------------
Author's Note: Surprised a life-long villain lover managed to have fun writing heroes? Yeah, me too.
(Part 5)
(Part 7)

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My second "only people that have watch Aladdin 100+ times would notice" fact is the pattern above only shows up in Jafar's personal spaces, both his assumed room where Jasmine confronts him about Aladdin's arrest and when he rules the palace.
AND IT'S JUST JAFAR'S SILHOUETTE WITH STINK LINES NEXT TO IT.
Return of Jafar - Rewrite (Pt 5)
(Part 1)
The man tossed the board aside before kicking the brick away. He turned back to his partner. Didnât look like they found anything either. Ridiculous. This rundown old guard tower had to have something. Even just a forgotten dagger, some old armor or a dusty shield would do. But no, nothing. Nothing but junk that probably fell down from higher up the tower years ago.
A clattering. Quiet but getting closer. The two scavengers looked at each other and nodded. They knew what was coming by. The man pulled his hood down to hide more of his face and ducked behind a support beam.
The noise grew more and more distinct. Leather slapping pots. Pans hitting carpets. Odds and ends rattling in bags. Thuds of heavy hooves on beaten down dirt. A figure turned the corner and led the heavily packed camel into the towerâs ground area. The person was shorter, must be a woman. And the camel, a two hump⌠those only came from the far east. She was a foreigner. Perfect.
The woman clicked her tongue and the camel layed down. The man looked back at his companion and saw him peeking around his cover, watching the woman as well. The man motioned towards the woman with his head and the manâs partner walked out.Â
The woman stayed quiet when the men approached, holding her staff close. A parrot sitting on her mount squawked and took off into the night. The men drew their swords and got closer. The womanâs posture shifted, loose and unafraid. She moved her staff to her side and blew a plume of fire. The two men jumped back and took off through barely-standing doors behind them.
The woman chuckled to herself. She heard wings flapping and saw Iago landing back on Balavaanâs back. âBraveryâs not your strong suit, eh?â She scratched the back of the birdâs head gently. âWhen in the Valley of Serpents, one need only know how not to be prey.â The bird looked at her, tilting his head. âAww, donât worry about it.â She hooked her staff to her satchel, next to the black lamp. âCome on. Thereâs someone I want you to meet.â
Up a rickety ladder, a couple jumps across collapsed staircases, a duck under a half-sloped wall held up by a single board and the woman reached the top room. âYoo-hoooo! Monkey!âÂ
The room wasnât much. A small flat open area lined with piles of old baskets, cheap pots and overused cushions. In the back were a short set of steps, covered with a large rag that used to be a rug, leading to a long crumbled wall that neatly framed the Agrabah Palace like a painting.Â
The woman made a disgusted groan before turning to Iago. âItâs a nice place but the view is terrible.â She marched to the back and pulled down a worn ratty tarp hung from the ceiling to cover the distant palace. âMuch better. Monkey!â She went to a side wall and peaked through a boarded up window. âMonkey?âÂ
Iago helped himself to a nice little dull red pillow and got comfortable. âRrrawk Monkey monkey!â
âItâs not like him to be out this late.â The woman went to the other wall and looked through a hole to the outside. âNever liked the kinda people that âworkâ at this hour....âÂ
âOooh, bad monkey.â Iago flapped his wing, stirring a cloud of dust from the pillow. âBad-- Gak! Bleck! Patooie!â
The woman looked at the parrot and saw the dust cloud. âHuh?â She rubbed the pillow and her hand came back with a noticeable layer of dust. She turned to a nearby water jug and ran her finger around the rim. More dust. âDoes Monkey not live here anymore? But he was so proud of this place when I⌠huh.âÂ
She looked at Iago and smiled. âHang on, bubbie.â She gently pulled the pillow out from under Iago and slapped it on the side of her leg to get the dust off. She fluffed it a little and set it down next to the bird. âThere you go.â The woman unhooked her staff and set it in one of the taller pots.Â
The lamp. She unhooked it and took in its details. Such a rough-edged brute of a genie held in such an elegant prison. Half of her knew she shouldnât reward his actions. She had to throw his lamp just to make him stop! But herâŚ. difficulties werenât his fault. Even normal people had problems in the past dealing with her⌠hangups. She sighed and rubbed the lamp.Â
A crimson cloud flowed out like a wave before taking the red genieâs form, albeit much more human sized than the gigantic proportions he had had until now. The genie floated for a moment, slightly hunched, arms crossed before he opened his eyes. He looked about a bit before finding the woman. âYou.â
The nomad shrugged. âMe.â
âWhat did you do to me?â The genie growled.
The nomad scoffed. âYouâve never been lamp-handled before?â
 The genie gave a look, equal parts grumpy and confused.
âNever mind.â The nomad shook her head. âJust wait here and stretch out. I gotta unpack Balavaan for the night.â With that, the woman disappeared back down the tower.
Jafar huffed. âWretched woman. How dare she. That⌠arrogant⌠impudent⌠smart-mouthedâŚlying little worm.âÂ
âThat keeps letting you out.â Iago added.
âYes, that keeps letting me--â Jafar glared and leaned over, looming rather threateningly over the parrot on a pillow. âWhoâs side are you on, precisely?âÂ
Iago gulped and started scooting backwards. âYou! Your side, of course! Iâm.. ya know, just saying she keeps giving you chances!â He chuckled nervously. âThat you keep blowingâŚâ he finished under his breath.Â
Jafar rolled his eyes and drifted up through a hole in the ceiling. âPerfectly supportive, as always, Iago.â
It was somewhat nicer being out in the open air again. Jafar had more than a lifetimeâs worth of cramped spaces. He saw the palace in the distance and frowned. The woman had moved them a considerable distance further from the landmark. Not that he couldnât get there instantly with his magic⌠if he were allowed to!Â
He found himself staring at the central palace dome, the one housing the grand throne room of Agrabah. He could perfectly picture his lovely red throne basking under the gold cobra statue. The endless mountains of riches surrounding him. That dome, the largest and most grand amongst the palaceâs features, a marvel of engineering unto itself, became so small and insignificant as he ascended to an all-powerful cosmic being.Â
The stars. Bright little lanterns floating in the blackness of the night. Jafar reached up for them. The cuffs started glowing. He pulled his hand back and lowered himself. He wasnât even as high up as some of the lesser outer domes now. He reached up again and willed for the stars. The bands on his wrists felt like they were tightening. The stars didnât move. Jafar raised his other hand. He thought he saw a couple lights flicker out of position⌠or perhaps thatâs just what he wanted to see. Jafar let his arms drop to his sides and looked away. It had been so easy before. So very incredibly, joyfully easy.Â
âUhh, you ok?â Iago landed on Jafarâs shoulder.Â
âI canât touch the stars anymore.â Jafar whined.
âWha? Wait, are you⌠sad?â
Jafar quickly cleared his throat and straightened up, putting his hands on his hips and puffing out his impressive chest. âI am stating a fact. Thatâs all.â
âUhâŚ.. huh.â Iago sounded thoroughly unconvinced.
âI am.â Jafar stated firmly. âThese shackles seem to be restricting my magic. More so than I initially assumed.â
âGreat. Just perfect.â The bird muttered. âDid this wish come with any upsides?â
The pair both jumped when a minor crash came from below. The nomad brushed her hands off and smiled at the pile of junk she dumped on the floor. She looked up and motioned with two fingers for the pair to come to her. Jafar huffed. He was being called like a dog.
Iago yelped as his perch turned into a cloud of red smoke and sunk towards the tower. âGeez, no need to warn a guy or anything.â The parrot dove through the cloud and landed on the nomadâs staff.Â
The genie reformed in front of the woman with hardly any pazazz, just his head in a hand and scowl on his face. She seemed somewhat taken aback. âWhatâs wrong? You donât like being out or something?â
The genie sighed. âI do appreciate the modicum of âfreedomâ. As for my inner machinations, that is none of your concern.â
The woman clicked her tongue. âAwâŚâ She moved behind her genie. âI know whatâll cheer you up.â She grabbed his topknot and ran its length through her hand, smiling as he pulled back. âMagic!â
Jafar smoothed down his long black ponytail and glared. âA wish?â
The woman rooted through a pile of the towerâs junk and pulled out a dusty old step stool. âNope.â She set the step stool down and piled up a small assortment of dusty worn-out pillows. âA promise.â She sat down and waved at Jafar. The genie gave her a puzzled look. âBubbie, I gave you permission to bring me here to Agrabah if you gave me a free dinner. Now pay up.â
Jafar rolled his eyes and then a thought occurred. âOh, of course, of course. How foolish of me.â Jafar smiled. A ring of red glittering magic formed as the genie waved his hand. âAs you command.â He pointed to the makeshift table and five grains of uncooked rice appeared before the woman. âEnjoy, Master.â He chuckled.
Iago hid his grinning beak behind a wing, holding back a laugh. The woman leaned on the table and facepalmed. Silence. The woman gave a long sigh before starting to laugh; the long harder-than-warranted kind of laugh that made one question the personâs mental state. Jafar and Iago shared a look.
The woman put her arm down and looked at Jafar, smiling widely. âYou arenât supposed to be real.â She giggled. âYouâre supposed to just be in the stories I was told before bed and--- and in the make-pretend games like âBack in the Bottleâ!â She put her head down on the table, still snickering for a few more moments.Â
The woman raised her arm, holding up a single finger. âYouâre a funny guy. So hereâs a new deal:â She sat up. âIâll give you one more chance to show me you can be reasonable. Iâm going to turn around for a couple minutes, let you do some thinking, and if thereâs a decent meal on this table when I turn back around, we can keep being friendly. If you wanna keep being pettyâŚâ The womanâs smile and pleasant tone dropped as she stared straight into Jafarâs eyes. âI will teach you what petty really means.â With that, the woman turned around and started sorting through the pile of junk she brought with her.
Iago looked at Jafar. The red genie shook his head and started looking at his nails. Iago balked. He couldnât be serious. Was he really-- It was Jafar; of course he was serious and really gonna blow it for himself⌠AGAIN! The parrot fluttered over to his partner and motioned to the far corner of the room with his head. Iago landed on a hole in the wall above a door-less door frame. He frowned when Jafar followed, looking wholly disinterested in their secret meeting. âOk, we doing this the easy way or the hard way?â
Jafar glanced over his shoulder at the woman. âI suppose Iâm in an âend it quickly just to get on with our livesâ mood more than anything.â
âNo, no, no. Not about her. You.â Iago pointed at his partner.
âMe?â
âJafar! Y--â
âKeep your voice down!â Jafar hissed. He looked at the woman. She blew a puff of fire to light a small metal lantern and set it next to her table.
âJafar!â Iago yell-whispered. âYou--â He covered his face with his wings and groaned. âLook, just magic her up some food tonight and we figure out how to off her tomorrow.â
âAbsolutely not! I refuse.â Jafar crossed his arms in a pout.
âWhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?â The bird growled.
âItâs⌠the principle.âÂ
âPRIN--â Iago started coughing from how hard he had to hold back his yelling. âPrinciple? Principle? We have principles now? Wow! Fantastic! I didnât get the memo! We didnât have principles when we dumped all those bodies in a well people drank from!â Iago held up one feather finger. âWe didnât have principles when we made the Sultan execute those royal chefs because one of âem gave you the evil eye and you didnât trust eating their food anymore!â He held up another feather. âAnd we definitely, definitely, didnât have principles when you were going âoh come here, pussycatâ to a princess young enough to be your granddaughter!â The bird started jumping angrily on his perch, tiny red feathers flying off as he thrashed.
âI donât owe that woman anything outside of the wishes I am cursed to grant her.â Jafar crossed his arms. âAn all-powerful being such as myself shouldnât bow to anyone, much less a vagrant woman. The things I could do to that wretch if I were free--â
âBut youâre not, are you.â Iago leaned in, tone dripping with cutting spite. Jafar looked away then down at the gold cuffs on his arms. No, he wasnât. Iago took a deep breath and then flapped to Jafarâs shoulder. âLook, Iâll make this easy for both of us. I go sit with the lady, you make me something nice for dinner and I let her have some. She gets a meal and you get to keep your brand-new straight-out-of-the-packaging âprinciplesâ nice and squeaky clean. Good? Good.â With that, Iago flew back to the womanâs table. After a moment, he angrily motioned at the space in front of him with his wings.
âEt tu, Iago?â Jafar watched the woman half-turn to Iago and start scratching his head gently. That bird was a selfish cowardly mess, worthless without a sturdy shoulder to perch on and an adamant mind to lead him. Iagoâs fear of the womanâs wrath couldnât come from any rational source. Surely.Â
Then again⌠the woman wasnât scared of Jafar either. She laughed at him outsmarting her. She knew the laws he was bound to. And that⌠âlamp-handlingâ. Never in all the legends he poured over in the decade he sought his own genie did Jafar hear of such a power. Where did she come from that such knowledge was so prevalent? How much more did she know?
Was it worth it?
Jafar waved his hand and pointed at the table again. This time, a ceramic bowl filled with a dull-red soup appeared, gently steaming, loaded with chunks of meat and dotted with finely chopped vegetables.Â
The woman turned around and smiled. âYou have chosen wisely, my friend.âÂ
âOh, goody.â Jafar cooed, holding back an oh-so tempting bite of sarcasm. Another wave of his hand and a large lavish pillow poofed into existence opposite the woman. A snap of his fingers and Jafar was lounging on his self-made bedding, facing his so-called master. âSaloonat Laham.â
The woman took a long sip and paused. âIt⌠sure tries to be.â Jafarâs smug look dropped instantly. âHang on.â The woman turned back to her junk pile and rummaged through it.Â
Jafar looked at Iago. The bird was rolling his eyes and shaking his head. He knew better than anyone that Jafar couldnât cook but to not be able to cook with all the magic in the world was just pathetic.Â
The woman pulled out a pouch and got some tied cloth bags and bottles out of it. âYouâre lucky Iâm mainly a spice trader.â She pulled out some cardamom cloves and tossed them in, followed by some black peppercorns, a pinch of coriander and finally a small curl of cinnamon she gently laid on top of the small mound of meat.Â
She lifted up the bowl and blew a long lick of fire at the bottom, just enough for the soup to start bubbling. Iago jumped off the table with a squawk and hid under the womanâs scarf. She put the bowl down and started mixing everything together. âI know genies donât do refunds but Iâd ask for my money back in any restaurant you serve that in.â Her genie just scoffed. âOh, donât worry.â The woman continued. âWeâre getting food tomorrow. Iâll get some stuff and show you how to make my famous Serpent Curry. That way the next master you have that depends on you for food might⌠survive.â
He wouldnât have another master. He wouldnât allow it. âAs you wishâŚâ Jafar said flatly.
Iago peeked out of his hiding spot and fluttered back to the table. The woman took a sip before putting a spoon-full in front of the bird. The soup definitely looked more colorful and smelled a lot nicer. Iago took a taste, pondered the flavor and then quickly shoved his whole beak in the dish.
âIago, no!â The woman grabbed the bird gently and started pulling him away. Iago gave a yelp and grabbed the rim of the bowl with his talons. âNo, stop it!â The woman laughed. âBad birdy!â
âMine!â Iago yelled. The woman held Iago in one hand and pulled the bowl away with the other. âMineâŚâ The bird whined.
âMaybe you should hold on to him for now.â The woman held out Iago to Jafar. With a flick of his hand, the genie made a small bird cage around Iago and let it drop to the ground next to him. âYou two probably wanna go to bed soon anyway. It canât be too much longer âtil dawn at this point.â She reached under her scarf and pulled out the black lamp. âSame for me, I got my bedroll all set up too.â She pointed at the small upper landing behind her.Â
âPssst! Let me out.â Iago whispered. âI can fly for it! Donât make me go back in that stupid thing!â
Jafar glared at Iago. As if it was any more enjoyable for him to share a prison with that bird. Especially since, while Jafar could shrink a considerable size, Iago couldnât. The only upside of Iago being there was the fact the lamp basically made Jafar blind while Iago could--.
Another idea!Â
Jafar picked up Iagoâs cage and sat up. âI suppose I should retire for the evening. But I donât know how Iâll ever sleep, what with so many exciting things happening today.â
âThatâs about the nicest way anyoneâs ever put meeting me.â The woman snickered, taking another bite of food.
âNo! No! No! Let. The. Bird. Out. First!â Iago whispered frantically. âLet the bird--â
The cage vanished and before Iago could start flying, Jafar grabbed the bird by his feet. âYou wonât keep me waiting long, will you?â He did his best to sound innocent.Â
âI only let you out in the first place because I know those things are cramped.â She answered. âIâll give you a rub first thing when I wake up. Promise.â
âYouâre too kind, mad-- Master.â With that, Jafarâs form shifted to smoke and slipped inside the lamp.Â
âWhat are you doing?!â Iago yelled in the lamp. âWhy bring me back here! Itâs gonna take forever for us to find whatever spot it was where we could get slightly comfortable!â
âSilence, Iago!â Jafar growled. âI have a planâŚâ
âOh great, another gold-standard plan from the mind that brought us âoh Genieâ,â Iago gave a pitch-perfect impression of Jafar. â âI wish to be an eternal magic slave! That will really show up the helpless streetrat Iâm two seconds away from crushing like a grapeâ!âÂ
The nomad heard the lamp rock slightly on the table and stared. After a moment, the lamp gave a tiny poof of a flame from its spout. Panicked bird noises! The woman flipped open the hinged lid on top and got a splash of red feather in her face. âPhehh. Good night, guys!â She stated firmly into the lamp.
âOw, loud.â Iago whined.
âShe gets it from you. Hush.â The genie answered.
The woman shook her head and closed the lid. These two were gonna keep her on her toes. This was going to be fun.
-----
Author's note: I keep being afraid my work isn't moving fast enough but then I remember I'm both putting up shorter parts to keep momentum up (and would absolutely combine 3-4 parts per chapter whenever I put it on AO3) and just because it takes an hour to write, doesn't mean it takes an hour to read.
(Part 4)
(Part 6)
Return of Jafar - Rewrite (Pt 4)
(Part 1)
âAre⌠Are you sure this way is safe?â
Aladdin looked back at the young princess. âYeah, why?â
The bandit horse couldnât be less perturbed but the tiny young princess riding it was nervously looking at the flat heat-baked ground. âThereâs so many cracks around here. Like the land will fall apart under us at any moment.â
âIt wonât fall apart.â Aladdin chuckled. âThe only danger in the Cracked Plateaus comes during the day. It gets so hot out here, even camels barely stand it.â
âWhat?â Princess Diaâmah looked behind her. âBut the nomad said this path was safe.â
âIt is!â Aladdin pulled back on the flying carpetâs rim and floated to the girlâs side. âSee, this place gets so bad during the day that bandits never camp or stake-out on the Plateau. Itâs actually one of the safest places to travel at night.âÂ
âDoes that mean you come this way often?â
âNo, but someone I knew a long time ago did.â Aladdin sat back on Carpet. âTold me all sorts of little secrets of the desert like that.â He looked out into the night. The shimmering moonlight on the dune, cresting like ocean waves frozen in time. The gentle winds stirring the grains of sand on the surface. After a moment, Abu jumped out of Aladdinâs lap and climbed his shoulder to see what his partner was looking at. Nothing but the horizon. âThey traveled this desert long before I was even born,â He chuckled. âAnd Iâll probably need to spend the rest of my life traveling to see as much as they have.â Especially since it wouldnât be long untilâŚ
âCan there really be that much to see out here?â
Aladdin looked at the princess. The desert started to light up. âWow, see for yourself.â
The princess turned her horse around and gasped. A massive comet in the cloudless night, bright red as a roaring fire, sky streaked off farther and farther into the distance. âGoodness!â
âWheow.â Abu squeaked.
Diaâmah watched until the faintest hint of light faded from sight. All the tutors and teachers that got paraded into her palace chambers her whole life to educate her never spoke of such a sight. Then again, she had never heard of nomads coming to the rescue of outsiders nor flying carpets, âCave of Wondersâ or diamonds in the rough. The more she thought, the less anything sheâd gone through today was like anything she had ever known. âI need to get out more.â
-------
Nearly there. Nearly there. Having to carry a camel, a cobra and a dirty drifter was hardly any price for getting what he wanted. Agrabah. And he would have it. All of it. The bondages of slavery wouldnât stop him. The petty laws of genie magic could be circumvented.Â
âHey!â
Jafar glanced down at the woman and rolled his eyes. Sheâd be a stubborn thing, that was certain. What was the world coming to that women like her and that insufferable Princess Jasmine seemed to be cropping up everywhere he looked? Just focus. Get to Agrabah. Find someone to kill Aladdin. Make the woman wish him free.
âGods above.â
Jafar glanced down again. The woman had climbed out of his grip and now stood in the crook of his arm. He felt only the slightest amount of force as she pushed her hand into his skin. Jafar smirked. She was admiring him. As one should, of course. After her brief pause, the woman climbed up and reached Jafarâs shoulder. She grabbed his long golden earring. âHi, remember me?â
âShould I?â Jafar smirked, hearing her groan.
âYouâre taking me to a port town, arenât you?âÂ
Jafar gave her a look. How did she�
âAir by water just feels different from desert air and big bodies of water plus âcityâ equals port town.â The woman laughed before continuing. âI usually try to avoid port towns, for the record. Ever since I got stuck in one for years, I canât stand them anymore. Had to leave the whole Seven Deserts for five years just to recover⌠fromâŚâ
 Before the city could crest above the dunes in the night, a towering palace rose into view; a grand white marble monument to decadence topped with massive golden domes on every tower and corner of heavily guarded fortress walls.
âAgrabaaaaaah!â The woman cried. Jafar felt a slight force from the woman kicking him in the neck. âYou jerk! You did this on purpose! This is for the âMasterâ thing, isnât it?â
âPerhaps.â Jafar lied.
âFine. I can still work with this.â The woman leaned forward, still holding onto the genieâs earring. âSet us down, gently, somewhere in the middle of the city. I know a place I can stay the night.â
Jafar just gave the woman a look. Just get to the palace. Then⌠make up something. Lay low, keep the woman busy and think of a way to have someone kill Aladdin. The woman was yelling and pointing at the palace. The guards. Razoul. That uncouth dog of a man hardly needed a reason to end a life before. More yelling. As for the other guards, Jafar could make more gold than any man could ever dream of now. They would obey willingly enough. A loud disgusted groan. Nothing would get between him and revenge.
Jafar slammed to a stop, his cuffs hitting the arbitrary invisible wall yet again. The woman jumped off and held tight to her staff. A white light ran down its length and a small whirlwind rushed into existence around her. The vortex caught the falling camel and slowed him just enough before tossing him onto a flat rooftop.Â
âWhat?!â Jafar looked down to see the woman attending to her camel. Wait, something shiny on the roof. His lamp! The genie quickly dove down and reached for his prison. The sand littering the roof swirled into a streak of dust and pulled the lamp away across the roof until it was caught by the handle with the butt end of a staff. Jafar growled. âWhat do you think youâre doing, woman?â
The nomad lifted the black lamp up with her staff and grabbed it with her free hand. âI think I just saved all our lives, you moron! You were heading for the palace! Do you have any idea what kind of danger you almost got us into, IDIOT?!âÂ
âDonât you dare take that tone with me!â
Iago landed on a barrel behind the woman and started making a cutting motion across his neck. âCut it out! Cut it out! We. Had. Her. On. Our. Side.â
âY-you donât understand how bad that almost was!â The woman was breathing heavily. âWe⌠we coulda⌠Coulda--!âThe woman paced back and forth. âWe-- no, no, no, no, no, Gotta go, keep moving, keep moving.â She stopped and turned to the genie. âIn the lamp, now!â
âNo.â Saying that word sent a highly unpleasant sensation through Jafarâs cuffs. He clawed into the metal bands and continued. âI may be forced to grant wishes but I will not--!â
The woman hooked her staff into her satchel and put her freed hand just above the lamp. A faint red mist formed on the surface of the lamp, thin and delicate that started gently twisting around her fingers. An invisible web of warmth formed. Her fingers danced on the magic threads like harp strings.
Jafar felt gentle stroking on his back, like the brushing of a feather fan on his skin. âWhat are you doingâŚâ The genie growled.
The web of warmth solidified into a pocket of heat, a plate of energy on either side of the lamp. She stuck her thumb and pinky on the hidden plates. Jafar gasped. Nothing around him, and yet he felt as though something was grabbing him. The woman put her middle finger on the lamp spout. Something pushed down on Jafarâs neck.
She pulled her fingers up, dragging the heat with them. Jafarâs gold bands rose into the air like he was being hung by his arms. The woman moved her hand forward, leading the red mist towards Jafar. The mist connected to the plume that made up the genieâs lower half. The woman made a fist and threw her hand back.Â
Jafar was yanked forward very forcefully. The black lamp shuttered and the genieâs body started shifting into more of the cloud, with the last of him quickly vanishing inside the lamp âIago!â
Iago let out a gasp before covering his beak. No people-talking to others. He cleared his throat and took off for the woman. âUh, The lamp! Rub the lamp!âÂ
âOm Namah Shivay, Om Namah Shivay.â The woman pushed past Iago and walked to the half wall lining the rooftop. âOm Namah Shivay, Om Namah Shivay. Om Tat Purushaya Vidmahe Mahadevaya Dhimahi Tanno Rudra Prachodayat.âÂ
âRub⌠the⌠uhâŚâ Iago landed on the short wall. The woman had a thousand mile stare. Whatever, just get the lamp and go. Iago stepped over the womanâs shaking hands and stuck his head under her green half-cape. The black lamp shifted about slightly as it hung from her satchel; a pale show of its prisonerâs fury. Iago reached out and grabbed the handle with his beak.
The woman was pulled back, Iago dragged off the wall with her. The parrot fumbled to get a grip on the lamp but his beak slipped off the smooth brass handle and he hit the floor. With a grumble, he got to his feet, shook himself off and looked up.
The camel let go of the scarf in his mouth and wrapped his long neck around his rider. The woman bumped into her mountâs tall steady shoulder and blinked out of her ridgid state. She looked, smiled and put her head against the side of the camelâs. âThank you, Balavaan.â The cobra slithered part-way up the camelâs neck and stretched out towards the woman. âYou too, Mitr.â The snake quickly weaved up the womanâs arm and took his place around her neck. âAs for you, IagoâŚâ
Iago flinched from force of habit. No, wait. She didnât know his secret. He couldnât be in actual trouble. Iago quietly cleared his throat and flapped his wing as he bounced on his toes. âIago! Iago!â he squawked.
The woman bent down and held her hand out for the bird. âLetâs get out of the cold.â
-----------------
Author's Note: I know it's kinda short but I got sick twice over the holidays and I just wanna put something out.
(Part 3)
(Part 5)
Jafar & Iago - KHCOM manga.

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2 days into 2023 and I'm back on my bullshit
Return of Jafar - Rewrite (Pt 3)
(Part 1)
The desert at night is as cold and still as ice. A deep dark blue against a black endless horizon with only direct moonlight to remind one of the glittering golden hue of sand. One would be forgiven to think there was no life in this region, or that there had never been life there at all. However, the desert, and those that call it home, care little for a passerbyâs opinion.Â
A mound of sand heaved under the moonlight before collapsing. A few moments passed and again the sand swelled. This time the sand broke from the ground and through the thin veil of dust, the nomadic woman stepped out into the cold fresh air. She took a deep satisfying breath and let the glow of her medallion fade out.Â
The sand mound behind her dropped to the ground and a shocked squawk rang out. Wait, a squawk? The nomad looked to the sky. Nothing but stars. There shouldnât be birds this far from water. The woman sighed. Hopefully the bird had an owner close by. âBalavaan!â The woman yelled. âBalavaaaaaaaaaaaan!â Nothing but echoes. She huffed and started marching up a tall dune for the high ground.
The sand shifted and swelled once more on a much smaller scale. With a small bust, a red macaw broke through and started clawing the sand to pull the rest of his body out. Iago started spitting and hacking up sand. âTypical. I take two steps in the desert, and I get sand in places I didnât even know I had!â The bird got to his feet and pulled the black oil lamp to the surface.
âWhatâs taking so long?â The lamp demanded. âI ordered you to release me!âÂ
Iago growled. âWorking on it! Iâm--â A loud whistle in the distance. A long low tone that ended with a high pitch. The woman was at the top of the dune. âOk, there she is.â
âShe?!â The lamp spat, shifting ever so slightly where it sat. âThe woman?!â
âTold you were gonna hate this idea.â Iago said âBut itâll work⌠if you just zip it for two minutes! I gotta shift into âPretty Pollyâ mode.â
A tiny spit of warm red smoke eeked out from the lampâs clogged spout. âFine. But for your sake, do not keep me waiting.â
Iago straightened his posture and cleared his throat. âSquawk. No, no, no. HmmâŚâ Itâs been a while. He pitched his voice up slightly. âQuwaaaak⌠Nah, nah, that stunk.â He pitched his voice up more. âRawkâŚâ No, wait thereâs supposed to be a bit of a roll to the ârâs. âRrrawk! Thatâs it! Rrrawk rrrawk rrawk! Got it! Ok, go time!â Iago grabbed the lamp and climbed the air far above the dunes.Â
A gurgling bellow caught his attention. âBalavaan!â In the moonlight, the parrot watched a short stocky camel run in its kindâs usual floppy way towards the woman⌠and then knock her down with his body. âI missed you too, buddy.â The nomad scoffed. âIâm glad-- no, no, no, no!â The camel knelt down and sat on the womanâs legs. The beast looked down at his owner, burying her face in his thick neck fur.
Iago circled for a bit. The woman just barely managed to pull herself out from under her mount and scramble to her feet. âOk, here goes.â Iago hovered over the camel and dropped the lamp.
The woman rubbed the fuzzy poof of hair on her camelâs head. âBal, itâs too late at night for this. We gotta--â Tonk! The woman flinched, seeing movement in the corner of her eye. She clutched her staff and moved closer. Something stuck out of the sand by her camelâs side. A⌠the woman frowned⌠black oil lamp wrapped in a rag. âOh no.â
âRrrawk!â
The nomad looked up and saw the red macaw drift lazily downward and land on her camelâs saddle. âOh, birdy!â She smiled. âWere you what I heard a bit ago?â She offered a hand to the bird. The parrot gave the hand one long look from the side and shuffled away slightly. âAw, not feeling friendly? Poor thing. Youâre not lost, are you?â
âRrawk! The lamp!â said the bird. âThe lamp! The lamp!âÂ
âThe lamp?â The woman glared at the lamp but picked it up.
The bird started flapping, head bobbing with excitement. âThe lamp! Rub the lamp! Rub! Rub the lamp!â
âRub the lampâŚâ The woman scoffed. âNo, bubbie, this is bad news.â She pointed to the lamp before tossing it behind her. âWe shouldnât touch it.â
In a quick motion the parrot grabbed the lamp and set it back down on the camelâs back. âThe lamp! Rub the lamp!â It yelled again.Â
The womanâs eyes narrowed. She put a hand on the lamp and brushed it off the saddle and back into the sand. The parrot glared back but, as it did before, picked the lamp up and set it on the camelâs back. As soon as the bird settled, the nomad flicked the lamp, making it slide off into the sand. The bird gave a quiet growl but once again brought the lamp back to the saddle.
âYou belong to the genie, donât you.â The woman stated. The parrot answered by fussing about with its wing feathers. The nomad sighed before grabbing the lamp. She saw Balavaan watching her. âWellâŚ. If he loves animals⌠he canât be PURE evil, right?â The camel just looked back at the parrot. âRight.â She pulled the wrapping off and, with a reassuring breath, rubbed the side of the black lamp.
The lamp shot out a familiar red plume of smoke that soared up to the night sky, drenching the land in a sinister light. This time the genie seemed to tear through the cloud to take form and let loose a barrage of lightning into the air.
âYes! Freedom!â The genieâs purposefully deeper voice boomed in the night. â⌠AgainâŚâ He added with noticeably less confidence. âNow, where is that filthy vagrant that dared deceive me!â
âOh, so heâs like that all the time, huh?â The woman muttered.
âYeah, pretty much.â Iago sighed.
The woman looked at the bird in shock. Iago gulped and took off. âHey, wait!â
âYOU!â Jafar growled, pointing to the woman. âLowly little rat.â He lowered his massive self to her level; his head alone more than a couple feet taller than her whole body. âYou will pay for your treason⌠but not now. I have much bigger thorns in my side that have pained me far too long.â He straightened and drifted further up into the sky. âBut know this: when I return, your suffering will not be swift.â
âReturn? What are you--?â
The red genie turned back into a cloud and took off to the east like a shooting star.
The woman sighed and leaned on her camel. âThreeâŚ. Two⌠oneâŚâ She heard the man give a sudden yelp and smiled.
Iago hurried to his partner, who looked like he was trying, and failing, to pull something invisible. The gold bands on Jafarâs wrists were glowing bright. âExcuse me, your most all-powerful-ness, may I remind you we have business to attend to in Agrabah? Business by the name of âKilling Aladdinâ! Whatâs with the pantomime!â
Jafar gave another grunt of effort, his whole body moving backward⌠except his golden cuffs. They held as still as they would be being pressed against a wall. âThese accursed shackles!â he hissed. âIt must be the lamp. Even when released, Iâm still its slave.â He looked at the woman in the distance. âSlave to whatever sloven fool holds it. Despicable! All the power of the universe, and Iâm bound by the rules of the genie!â
âWow, a genie forced to act like a genie, what a concept...â Iago huffed. âOf course, heâs mad he-- RAWK!â Iago squawked as Jafar nearly crushed his tiny bird body in his grasp.
âWhat was that, you little pipsqueak!â âIâm just saying âwow thereâs so much red tape around being a genie, whoâdâa guessed?â heh⌠Itâs a tragedy, really! My heart bleeds for ya, boss!â
Jafar frowned but let Iago go. âDonât you understand, bird? If Iâm beholden to the law of the lamp, that means I canât kill that upstart Aladdin, nor any of those reprehensible royals that opposed me.â The genie hung his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. âI canât even get to them without someone holding my⌠prison on my behalf.âÂ
Iago knew what that meant and took a quick look around the area. Maybe in the day, the bird had a chance to see some landmarks but at night, all he could see was the moon and a glowing giant red genie. âYa know, Iâd offer, but I havenât got a clue where we are.â
âWhich leaves only one other option.â Jafar growled. With an angry huff, the genieâs form collapsed into nothing.
The nomad hardly noticed the pillar of magic smoke forming behind her. She noticed the sudden scent of a freshly blown-out candle wafting nearby but her eyes were to the sky. Only when her camel moaned and pushed himself to his feet did she turn to her genie.
âWoman!â The genie put his hands on his hips. âYou--â
âYeah, yeah, yeah.â She waved the genie away. âI know the setup; Three wishes, no take-backs, No killing, no forcing love, no raising the dead. There was a parrot around here a minute ago and I--â
âUnimportant!â Jafar snapped. âYou will take me to--â
âMacaws are tropical birds!â The woman yelled over Jafar. âThey canât survive an arid climate. Understand? Itâs important to me that you know that. We canât just leave it out here. Pollyyyyyyyyy!â
Jafar sputtered. The sheer audacity to just ignore him. Did she not seek him out? It took twelve years and more than a few bodies for him to find the golden genie lamp; how could it take some common traveler any less? How could finding him not be the beginning of some grand ambition of hers? Not that he had any intention to serve but still⌠Who could resist the power of a genie?
The way the woman scuttled about like an over-enthusiastic child calling for âPollyâ brought back memories of the Sultan of Agrabah. Wide-eyed, witless grin, happy to be lost for hours in his room full of trinkets and toys from exotic lands. Before he came to possess the hypnotic power of his own serpentine staff, Jafar often bought such objects to regain the sultanâs favor when he brushed too close with suspicion. Pretty things to dangle for a distraction.
Jafar felt the tiniest amount of weight on his shoulder as Iago landed. The bird watched the woman for a moment before turning to Jafar expectantly. Time for a different distraction. Jafar gave a small grin and spoke quietly. âPretty lady routine. Go.â Iago grinned back with a wink and flapped off with a squawk.
âPolly?â The nomad looked up and saw the macaw circling above. âPolly! Here boy!â She held her hand high. âCome to Mama!â
Iago gave a wolf whistle and fluttered down with a coo. He gently landed on the womanâs shoulder. âHello, Pretty La--â A cobra struck out from the folds of the womanâs scarf and snapped at the bird with a hiss. âAHHHH! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope!â Iago flailed back to Jafarâs shoulder and hid behind his massive neck. âNot doing it! Nuh-uh!â
âWhat?â Jafar hissed.
âSnake! Snake in the scarf!â
Jafar looked. From where he floated, he could only make out the thinnest shadow sticking up from the womanâs shoulders. Jafar drifted down, head in hand, as if lounging. She had a real cobra, and the staff she held had a carved one posed as if slumbering. How amusing. However classless the womanâs demeanor was, she at least knew an animal worth idolizing when she saw it.
Mitr stood taller and let out a hiss at the red giant. Jafar glared and his face shifted into a cobra head, giving his own hiss back. The real snake ducked backwards slightly but offered another, deeper hiss.Â
The nomad sighed. âYouâve been hissing in my ear all night. Enough.â She pulled out the rest of the snake, a fairly sizable specimen, and gently tossed it to her camelâs back. Balavaan took a curious glance at Mitr and the snake gave an indignant huff. âNow, letâs try this again.â She held her arm up high. âHere, Polly. Come on.â
Jafar glared at Iago. The parrot looked at his partner wide-eyed and shook his head ânoâ. The genie answered with a snort, a black plume of smoke dotted with embers and flicks of flames. Iago stumbled back and whined. âOk, ok, Iâm going!â
The macaw fluttered down just above the womanâs head. The cobra reared up and was quickly grabbed by his neck. âNo.â The woman turned to Iago. âCome on, bubbie. Youâre ok.â
Iago flew down slowly. âHe-Hello, Pretty Lady!â He gave a weak catcall-like whistle before landing on the womanâs outreached hand.
âAw, arenât you a charmer?â She answered.
Jafar moved in closer. âHis name is Iago.âÂ
âA literary name.â She ran her fingers down Iagoâs back and got a well-practiced happy chitter in return. âNot surprising a genie has time to keep up on his reading. What is surprising is the sudden change in attitude, Red.â
Jafar glanced at his cuffs. âRegrettably, it wasnât getting me anywhere.â He said through gritted teeth.
âDoes that mean you got all that âhigh and mightyâ nonsense out of your system?â
The genie rolled his eyes. She still thought he was a joke! A plaything! An object she could-- wait. That wasnât a cocky smirk or conniving smile on her face. The eyes were softer. The lips more gentle. Her tone without a cutting bite. Did Iago really hold that much sway over her? Go with it. Jafar tented his fingers. âI could go on but I assume you have other plans for tonight.â
âAw, geez, youâre right!â The woman gently tossed Iago towards Jafar and mounted her camel. âI gotta get to Shiabab.â
âWhat? Shiabab?!â Iago said. The woman gave the bird a look. âUh⌠Rrrawk! Shiabab! Shiabab!â
Jafar flew in front of the camel. âWe are not--!â Calm yourself. We just got the woman under control. He took a breath and folded his hands together. âMadam..âÂ
âDonât you mean âMasterâ?â The nomad grinned.
That smirk again. Thatâs bait. Leave it! Jafar forced a smile. âIf I may offer an alternative--â
âNo. Shiababâs the only hope I got.â She turned Balavaan to walk around Jafar. âI got nothing to eat but spices and tea leaves and not a drop of water to make the worldâs worst soup with.â She shook the reins and her camel started trotting off. âIf I donât at least make it to the borders of the Cracked Plateaus by sunrise, Iâm going to get baked alive by midday.â
No supplies with intent to cross some of the hottest stretches of the desert? He could definitely work with this.
âOh, what a precarious situation.â With a poof, Jafar reappeared in front of the woman. âBut why go to ShiababâŚâ He vanished in a cloud and reappeared about a couple dozen feet away, sitting on a rock outcrop. â... when you can go anywhere.â
âIâm not wasting a wish just to do what I can do on my own already.â She answered gruffly. âOr at least not what I could do if someone stopped interrupting me.â
âBah.â Jafar ran his finger through his beard. He needed to get to Agrabah! Wretched ragged stubborn little-- His cuffs started to glow. Jafar gasped and quickly teleported to the womanâs side. He caught the nomadâs hands duck under her scarf. Strangely, he felt faint little touches dotting his back. He looked again. The woman was grabbing his lamp hung from her satchelâs strap.
Fine. Over 30 years of bowing to an idiot sultan, he could bow once more. âThen donât use a wish.â He lowered his head towards the nomad. âAllow me to take you to a city much more worthy of your time as an⌠apology for the egregious turn I did you earlier, Madam.â
The woman pulled her camel to a halt. It was a few moments before she spoke. âYouâre still saying it wrong.â
 âSaying what wrong?â
She smirked again. Oh no. âThat âMâ word? Youâre using the wrong one.â
Jafarâs feigned smile faltered slightly.
âUse the right word, first.â
The genie tensed. All the power of the universe. All the power in the universe! He could remember the feeling as the blue genieâs magic surged through him. The secrets of all reality flooding his brain. How he grew to shatter the palace ceiling and soar to the atmosphere. The planets marched to his whims, the stars danced at his fingertips.Â
âŚÂ
The chill as cold metal bands slapped themselves around his wrists.
â... Allow me to take you to a city worth your timeâŚâ His clenched hands grew intense enough to turn coal into diamonds. â... Master.â
His master spun on her saddle to turn to him. âThrow in a free dinner and you got a deal.â
âYES!â Jafar snatched the entire camel and rider easily in one hand.
One of the nomadâs hands wrapped around her camelâs neck, the other clutching her cobra so he didnât fall. âCareful, Red!â She yelled.
âHey, wait! You forget someone!â Iago flapped furiously and barely managed to claw into the very tip of the womanâs green scarf before Jafar started racing across the dunes.
-------------
(Part 2)
(Part 4)
I don't know who needs to hear this but in Dreamlight Valley (Disney's Animal Crossing) all Jafar ever wants for gifts are red and black flowers. The man wants a bouquet every single day just for existing and I think that's fantastic.
"You're only second rate" Orchestra version by Erich Kunzel

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l wish to be an all-powerful genie! Aladdin (1992) dir. Ron Clements & John Musker



