~This is me Take it or leave it~

I keep myself busy with work so the thought of you isn’t in the front of my mind. How do I get you out of my head? It’s been 2 years now. And it still hurts. I still think about what if.. I wonder what life would be like now if she never came into the picture. I know I’m better off now. I’m doing WAY better for myself. But here I am wondering if I’d have that ring on my finger. If we’d be starting a family of our own. Thanks to you the thought of getting married and having a family freaks me out now. What if I get married and have a child then my husband changes his mind? Or what if I fall out of love? I’ve come to terms with staying single. Sure it can get lonely but I don’t have to rely on anyone and there’s no one I have to answer to. You broke me more than you’ll ever understand. And here I am. Still in love with you. I fucking hate you.