Lifestyles Of The Broke And Exhausted

When I was in grade eleven (2014) I was in a very toxic relationship. I sustained both mental and physical abuse and by the end of it I was a shell of a person. To say I was at the lowest point of my life was an understatement.

Ever since that relationship I blamed every bad thing in my life on him. Every bad relationship. I even blamed getting raped on him. The way I saw it was that he broke me and ruined my life.

This past summer he messaged me apologizing for how awful he was to me. I was pissed. How could he think that he could message me five years later and think it’d be okay. I thought it was extremely selfish of him and basically told him he could go fuck himself.

Then the other day I went way back into my tumblr and saw the kind of content I was sharing back then I saw what a sad broken little girl I was. And then I realized. I am not that girl anymore. I have such a bright future. I have amazing friends. I have an amazing family. I have an amazing boyfriend that treats me the way everyone should be treated. Clearly this boy did not ruin my life otherwise I wouldn’t be here. He was also a broken shell of a person and unfortunately I got the shit end of the stick. But I forgive him.

So I message him today to let him know that I forgive him. And my god. I never realized how much or burden my resentment towards him was. The moment I sent that message and saw him reply it really was like a weight was lifted of my shoulder. I could finally officially let that part of my life go and just enjoy what I have now.

I just sat and cried in my current boyfriends arms for an hour telling him how happy I was and how good it feels. Forgiveness is a powerful thing and I’ve only just come to realize it today.

So to my old highschool boyfriend. Thank you for the apology. I hear you and forgive you. I hope you have a good life.