searching for his Light

The pressure to spill was getting to you mentally and emotionally.

Each time the truth almost tumbled out, Irenka’s glare forced you into silence.

The three of you sat at the table breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Joker and Irenka talking in Slovak while you poked your food in trained submission. J would try and invite you into the conversation every odd sentence or two, but he failed to see Irenka’s warning glare out of his peripheral.

You didn’t dare speak. Her eyes forbade you to. One wrong word and you could ruin everything.

In Irenka’s eyes, you already proven yourself the enemy. She saw how her son doted on you. You had Joker wound so tightly around your finger, he made himself into a literal fool.

Bringing you here was reckless. There was no guarantee that you weren’t followed. Joker sacrificed too much to keep this land hidden—to keep those that lived here safe, and he spat on that vow the moment he let you in.

As if she would be nice to you. Not when your very presence threatened so much.

Meanwhile, Joker pointedly ignored the bad blood in the air. He wanted the two most important women in his life to get along. Somehow.

You loved to cook, so does his matka; so, every morning he nudged you into the kitchen with an encouraging smile. Irenka threatened you to get out with a cleaver each time.

You saw her knife work on the dinner table. No thank you.

Joker thought the two of you cooked together and bonded over female camaraderie. You didn’t have the heart to tell him the truth. Not when pale green narrowed into slits over his head.

“I dare you to say something.”

You didn’t. Not when you could tell Joker was happy to be home. Why be a jerk and sully his homecoming?

You saw how relaxed his shoulders were, how he easily spoke his native tongue even after years of speaking English. You caught him laughing with Irenka in the greenhouse. His smile was so carefree, you never seen him like that..

Was this the real Joker? The one who you weren’t allowed to know?

You were responsible for his misery. You clearly gave him enough to stress over. He looked so happy without you. Perhaps..

Just the thought caused a sharp pain in your chest.

Why did Joker bring you here anyway? This was supposed to be your escape from stress, but this trip only highlighted how much better Joker’s life would be without you in it. Irenka’s hatred seemed justified once you gave it some thought.

Joker was so much happier without you. Maybe you would do everyone a favor and leave.

Until you could find out how, you distanced yourself.

You didn’t speak at the table. You gave short answers and nods whenever Joker spoke to you and purposefully took walks alone. It was for the best to lay low until you could sneak off and run.

Thankfully, Joker was a smart man. His sixth Y/n sense always creeped you out with how he noticed everything about you—down to the tiniest detail.

He took pride knowing his Light. If something were amiss, he would know.

And all it took was one sigh.

Granted it took him a few days to identify it; Joker knew that sigh from anywhere.

It was shaky and watery. Born from a monumental load of stress, that single sound told Joker so much.

He looked at you differently that morning. Irenka kept rambling about crops in the greenhouse, but Joker’s full attention was on his Bunny.

You weren’t eating. Your head was down to hide the puffy remnants of tears. You had bitten your nails to nubs. And more importantly, you looked ready to run.

“Talk to me.”

The room fell silent. Irenka stopped mid sentence to stare at J. He wasn’t talking to her. His gaze was fixed on you. Of course it was.

Her eye snapped to you. You were practically curled up in your seat pushing scrambled eggs around the plate. You hadn’t eaten a bite.

Having everyone’s attention made you burrow further into your shell—even more so when Joker exhaled through his nose.

Joker didn’t think; he simply acted.

The wooden legs of your chair creaked loudly across the floor and masked the sound of your startled yelp.

Before you could say a word, emerald green flooded your view. Joker scooted you so close that you could see the flecks of gold shimmering in his eyes. Your brain naturally short circuited at the sight.

“Hovoril som s tebou!”

Joker didn’t bother glancing at Irenka as he responded “Well. I’m talking to Y/n now.”

He then rested his hand on the backrest, caging you into the seat. You jumped at the close contact and looked away.

“Hm, I think we’re well past you being afraid of me.” he droned on, leaning in closer.

You tried to speak, yet no words escaped. Joker hummed to himself while scanning your face for clues. You feared what he’d find.

“We can do this the err.. ea-Zzzy way where you tell me what’s wrong. Orrrr. Mm, you’ll love this one. I’ll make you tell me.”

You gulped, hearing his voice drop an octave.

Leave it to Joker to resort to violence. You weren’t sure if he’d go easy on you because he liked you. The cold jade drilling holes into your head told you J was not in a laughing mood.

Let’s talk about Mac! The second greatest simp who ever simped somehow secured a wife and kid. He four year planned his future the moment he saw you. 🥹🌹✨

Mac was taught to court a woman properly, x amount of dates, promise rings, huge engagement, moving in, etc. and he goes all out for you.

Mac gave you his grandmother’s ring pictured above. It looks plain but it’s soooo expensive. Old money ya hear me? How can you say no to that? Instantly locked in.

You become a rich wife overnight. Think tennis bracelets, private yoga instructors, weekly spa days, and you’re glowing because of it. Mac cherishes the ground you walk on. His wife will always be taken care of and envied.

Remember his love language is gift giving 👀 he’s working on quality time. Keep that in mind.

Morning kisses and mandatory date nights each month. You will forever smell of roses with how many Mac gives you. Yes, he has a rose garden this is confirmed. The love never fades on Mac's watch!

Behind the busy work schedule and hectic lifestyle that comes with it, those pretty blue eyes found the time to knock you up. 😗 *cough cough he begged on his knees girl*

People swear you up and stole this baby because your genes didn’t stand a chance. Same blond hair and blue eyes. Mac is literally carrying around his carbon copy.

You are a proud mother, overly protective, and determined about giving your son a wholesome childhood.. ya know the exact opposite of his privileged father. You refuse to have a Malfoy running around Gotham City. 🤭

Mac is a bit neglectful at times. He means well! Sometimes work comes first until you slap some sense into him. He has a family now! Joker and his organization can wait. 🙄

Him and his boy are a formidable duo. Mac is already teaching him to be a perfect heir and business prodigy. Mac is on the fence if he’ll let him become a criminal tho… can’t follow daddy footsteps all the time.

Forget a divorce, you locked in for life. A Borghese never quits so if things get tough—and it will, best believe Mac is going to problem solve it like the businessman he is.

Mac adores the ground you walk on and he’s forever grateful for his son. They wear matching quarter zip outfits and both have that adorable little pout when they don’t get their way. Which is often. You become the voice of reason for these two.

Ugh just imagine twin set of blue eyes always looking at you in deep admiration. Both call you Mommy. I’m not well. Please respect my privacy at this time 😭 Chaos hopes that you’re ready to take care of two boys. 🤭

MY MAN FROST! This man right here your honor!! has bled suffered and almost died to get where he is today. You mean to tell me he isn’t settling down? 🤨 CHAOS CAN GUARANTEE Frost will build an empire with you.

Out of the Loyal three, Frost is the one who was 100% ready for marriage, day one. He didn’t need to “date” he just slipped a marriage license across the table with so much confidence, knowing you’d say yes.

Frost was right because hello? He is the ideal husband. Glimpses of marriage life with Frost is well documented within the loyal three masterlist just pick a fic. Specifically Domestic Bliss like cmon I cannot make this stuff up! 😭

After careful consideration, I feel like Frost would let you pick out your own ring. You can have it designed however you please—he will pay for it. Chaos found this cute one above but insert your dream ring!

Marriage life isn’t a big switch up from before. Frost been treating you like a wife since day one. Only difference is that you got papers to prove it now 🥴 Frost loves spoiling you with vacations, your hobbies, and so much love. Now you see why you got so many kids.. ahem. Speaking of..

Genesis is the best big sister to the army you and Frost raise. I’m taking a set of twins and a singleton to even the odds. A full house indeed, each with their own personalities and interests. No one is neglected. There is no “middle child” when Frost dotes on them all individually.

Frost doesn’t sweat the challenge either, just silently proves HE. IS. A. FATHER. You barely lift a finger during your pregnancy and he’s there postpartum to raise the little ones because he genuinely wants to. Chaos is sobbing rn give me a minute.

It should be impossible how he caters to each of their growth but you are in awe each time a smile is plastered on your baby’s face, “I spent day with daddy! Lots of fun!!”

Picture it. Frost with a teenage daughter—twin boy and girl tot, and (you decide gender) newborn. And with the way Frost treats you… you can go for five. Six if you’re feeling yourself. Chaos really gotta beat him away with a broom. GET OFF Y/N!!! 🥴🥴

Frost can handle the kids and you. He listens and acts accordingly. His love language is acts of service mkay? Bills? Paid. Food? On the table. School? Handled. Frost is active in all of his children’s lives and wins the Father of the Year award at school. Annually.

Oh and he’s making time for you, don’t panic. It’s giving that 90’s love. Married 30+ years and still acting like fools in love. Hardly any arguments because he’s so calm with it. I know he calls you ma'am or lady. Lemme stawpppp this king is spoiling his queen!

You ask, Frost will deliver. All that being said, Frost has to draw the line when it comes to his boss because we all know they relationship is the ultimate bromance.

Finally we have Neo. I was gonna skip this demon spawn but for laughs and giggles let’s pretend here. You dare mention the idea of marriage to Neo and he will ghost you.

It will take years for you and Neo to legally tie the knot. You his girl. He got you. Why complicate things with rings and titles? Everyone knows you two are together so why bother?

Neo buys you jewelry all the time, but it’s never a ring on THAT finger. He love you, he respects you, you’ve met his parents, and you live together, but your ring finger is bare and it’s starting to get to you.

Because you're basically his wife already why can’t Neo acknowledge that and finally make things official? Your friends are telling you to let him go but..... aghghhg! you invested so much time in this man!

Being Neo’s wife girlfriend would make you a very spoiled woman. Only the best for you since Neo’s love language is gift giving/physical touch, it’s shocking you guys don’t have any kids 👀 moving right along...

Again, its due to his commitment issues, Chaos doesn’t see any in the foreseeable future. sorry love I can't wish that ill will upon you even if its fictional

When you force Neo to make a decision; marry you or break up? y’all have the biggest fight ever, and yes, its the final straw depending on the outcome. For this scenario, he agrees! 👉🏾👈🏾👀

Oddly!! it takes Joker of all people to talk some sense into this boy. 😦After Neo understands how much you suffered, mentally and emotionally expect a large and lavish wedding to make up for all the years of neglect. That ring I posted above is the rock you proudly wear if Neo pops the question. kinda wish the yellow stone was red tho

Chaos thought about it and marriage life with Neo would be strained since you sorta kinda forced him into marriage. 😬 he's not happy.

Neo battles with infidelity (this is common knowledge) so trust is a slippery slope. Communication leads to yelling matches and days apart to cool off. If you and Neo don't get serious counseling.... you'll be filing for divorce in record time.

Despite all the stress, Neo is a great boyfriend. Expect exotic vacations, lavish gifts, and his undivided attention when given. You get blindsided by the good that it masks the cracks in the relationship. Or maybe you like toxic relationships and wanna stay Who knows. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Chaos knows this marriage is destined for failure.

pause but why did I tear up writing Neo's text messages..? It hit wayy to close to his real life self and I