searching for his Light

For the last few days, you walked on eggshells. Not just around Irenka, but around Joker as well—and rightfully so.

You slipped up and almost said that name to Joker’s face far too many times. The constant slip ups made strolls with him almost unbearable.

The two of you were taking advantage of the solitude—a continent away from the hectic drama you fled Gotham for. You walked around Joker’s childhood home, enjoying the views of the valley as though a weight were lifted from your shoulders. Sadly, the salty ocean breeze wasn’t loud enough to whisk your numerous slips of tongue away.

Joker swore he was hearing things because there was no way you knew that name.

He erased that part of himself, scrubbed it clean out of existence. So well in fact, that even he forgot it at times. Perhaps the nostalgia of being home made him question hearing it.

Years of explosions did quite the number on his hearing. The beginnings of his name was kinda similar to the pseudonym Joker. Any excuse was conjured instead of facing the reality that you knew his biggest secret.

His Light was too naïve to know, yet Joker wondered why you awkwardly laughed and changed the subject after he thought he heard it. Laughing things off was a long-established nervous habit of yours. That and running into solid obstacles. He allowed the former even as he steered you away from the latter.

Joker thought the whole—flown across the world, stranded in a foreign country with absolutely nothing, meeting his mother, and the culmination of being stalked by your rapist ex-boyfriend—finally did you in.

Seriously. You had a lot on your plate to make you act out of sorts. Joker was surprised you hadn’t snapped. Just another testament to your resilience.

No. This switch-up was different, perhaps because it was how you addressed him. Joker had a handful of nicknames for you. Princess, sweet girl, doll, or his all-time favorite; Bunny; just to name a few. Using your actual name was a rarity, whereas you were forced to call him Joker.

You didn’t have any other alternative. If you were in a good mood, you shortened his title to J. So naturally he noticed when you began to hesitate saying Joker altogether.

You could barely look him in the eye without your ears burning up. You never stumbled saying it before.. so why the sudden hesitation now?

Surely, he was overthinking things. Either you were hiding something or he was going crazier, which was also a strong possibility.

Joker wished you stop keeping secrets from him. The two of you were in too deep—been through too much, to not trust each other. Though, Joker could point some blame on your sorry, good-for-nothing ex.

Trust was impossible to give, and love was not even a concept in your mind to fathom. Whenever Joker gained two steps ahead, something always landed him three steps backward.

That ex of yours made you insecure. He made you utterly clueless about romance and far too petrified to even try. And still, Joker wanted you. Loving you was a never-ending battle, and Joker became a loyal soldier as time went on.

He vowed to pick up the pieces that made up your heart—and oh, was it a labor of love. Totally worth it, despite you reverting to factory settings during the journey here.

The other day was a prime example of your strange behavior. You butchered the syllables of J’s name once again.

“Can we visit your haven again um.. Ja-um J-J-Joker?” you wobbled in his too big wellies and Joker naturally grabbed ahold of your arm, lest you tumble straight into the mud.

He armed you with thick woolen socks, an old puffer coat, and a random hat found around the cottage; and still, you fought with the weather and lost. He smiled fondly at the pitiful sight.

The current path became more uneven with march the closer to the shoreline. Joker did his best to watch you like a hawk and hover whenever you stepped wearily ahead. All the trails here were tricky for non-natives although long walks (and trips to his secret island) seem to do your mind some good…or so Joker thought.

He was wise enough to notice your mood lifted whenever you were away from Irenka. To think he brought you here to de-stress..

Joker could only force a smile and watch you overthink yourself into an early grave. “Sure, Bun. Watch your uhh.. fooTing.”

You used staring at the terrain to avoid his eye.

You didn’t know long you could fool this man! Knowing Joker’s real name was eating you alive. This was bigger than opening Pandora’s box. His name tasted bittersweet on your tongue. You needed for it to escape, or it would consume you whole.

If only you didn’t know it. Ignorance was truly bliss.

Irenka tried to backtrack and deny ever speaking it into existence; unfortunately, you heard her loud and clear. There was no going back after learning the truth.

She spat out insults and threats in Slovak as she bustled around the kitchen. You swallowed your soup and did an exceptional job of blending into the background. You were good at keeping quiet during arguments. Old habits truly die hard.

In the meantime. You noticed Joker took after his mother in more ways in one.

J perfected his sinister aura to an art; Irenka was the creator.

Feeling those pale green eyes of hers stare into your soul, unnerved you greatly. You were an unwelcome outsider—a destroyer of worlds. You didn’t need a translator to know what she hissed under her breath each time you walked by. The message was well received.

You knew Joker’s deepest darkest secret and that made you the ultimate threat. One word and you could uproot the life he worked so hard to erase.

Jack.

The simplicity of it brought a smile to your face. It fit him so perfectly. Strong and absolute, not the least bit common in your eyes. Jack was grounding to your soul. Jack just felt right.

You wanted nothing more to say it aloud, to Jack. To look into those emerald eyes and utter his real name and finally let his truth dwell in the space he crafted for the both of you. What would it sound like falling from your lips? Would hearing it bring a smile to his face? Were you ready to take that final leap of faith and embrace this relationship?

Sadly, you weren’t supposed to know his name in the first place! You weren’t sure the outcome if you suddenly said Joker’s government name out of the blue.

Joker was a wanted criminal across the world. No one, not even the world’s greatest detective, knew J’s identity. You could destroy Joker with one word and here you were carrying the full weight of it lodged in your throat.

The pressure to spill was getting to you mentally and emotionally. Each time the truth almost tumbled out, Irenka’s glare forced you into silence.

The three of you sat at the table breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Joker and Irenka talking in Slovak while you poked your food in trained submission. J tried to invite you into the conversation every odd sentence or two, but he failed to see Irenka’s warning glare out of his peripheral.

You didn’t dare speak. Her eyes forbade you to. One wrong word and you could ruin everything.

In Irenka’s eyes, you already proven yourself the enemy. She saw how her son doted on you. You had Joker wound so tightly around your finger, he made himself into a literal fool.

Bringing you here was reckless. There was no guarantee that you weren’t followed. Joker sacrificed too much to keep this land hidden—to keep those that lived here safe, and he spat on that vow the moment he let you in.

As if she would be nice to you. Not when your very presence threatened so much.

Meanwhile, Joker pointedly ignored the bad blood in the air. He wanted the two most important women in his life to get along. Somehow.

You love to cook, so does matka; so, every morning he nudged you into the kitchen with an encouraging smile. Irenka forced you out with a cleaver each time. You saw her knife work on the dinner table. No thank you, you were not getting caught up like that.

Joker thought the two of you cooked meals together. You didn’t have the heart to tell him the truth. Not when pale green narrowed into slits over his head.

“I dare you to say something.”

You didn’t. Not when you could tell Joker was happy to be home. Why be a jerk and sully his homecoming?

You noticed how relaxed his shoulders were, how he easily spoke his native tongue even after years of speaking English. One time, you caught him laughing with Irenka in the greenhouse. His smile was so carefree, you never seen him like that..

Was this the real Joker? The one you weren’t allowed to know?

And how were you to know this true version of him when you were constantly responsible for his misery? You clearly gave him enough to stress over. He looked so happy without you. Perhaps..

Just the thought caused a sharp pain in your chest.

Why did Joker bring you here anyway? This was supposed to be your escape from stress, but this trip only highlighted how much better Joker’s life was without you in it. Irenka’s hatred seemed justified once you gave it some thought.

Maybe you’d do everyone a favor and leave. Until you could find out how, you distanced yourself.

You didn’t speak at the table. You gave short answers and nods whenever Joker spoke to you. You purposefully took walks alone. It was for the best to lay low until you could sneak off and run.

Thankfully Joker was a smart man. His sixth Y/n sense that always creeped you out with the way he noticed everything about you—down to the tiniest detail was tingling. He took pride knowing his Light. If something were amiss, he would know.

And all it took was one sigh. Granted it took him a few days to identify it; Joker knew that sigh from anywhere. It was shaky and watery. Born from a monumental load of stress, that single sound told Joker so much.

He looked at you differently that morning. Irenka kept rambling about harvest ready crops in the greenhouse, but Joker’s full attention was on his Bunny.

You weren’t eating. Your head was down to hide the puffy remnants of tears. You had bitten your nails to nubs. And more importantly, you looked ready to run.

“Talk to me.”

The room fell silent. Irenka stopped mid-sentence to stare at J. He wasn’t talking to her. His gaze was fixed on you. Of course it was.

Her eyes snapped to you. You were practically curled up in your seat pushing scrambled eggs around the plate. You hadn’t eaten a bite.

Having everyone’s attention made you burrow further into your shell—even more so when Joker exhaled through his nose.

Joker didn’t think; he simply acted. The wooden legs of your chair creaked loudly across the floor and masked the sound of your startled yelp.

Before you could say a word, emerald green flooded your view. Joker scooted you so close that you could see flecks of gold shimmering in his eyes. Your brain naturally short circuited at the sight.

“Hovoril som s tebou!”

Joker didn’t bother glancing at Irenka as he responded, “Well. I’m talking to Y/n now.”

He then rested his hand on the backrest, caging you into the seat. You jumped at the close contact and looked away.

“Hm, I think we’re well past you being afraid of me.” he droned on, leaning in closer.

You tried to speak, yet no words escaped. Joker hummed to himself while scanning your face for clues. You feared what he’d find.

“We can do this the err.. ea-Zzzy way where you tell me what’s wrong. Orrrr. Mm, you’ll love this one. I’ll make you tell me.”

You gulped, hearing his voice drop an octave.

Leave it to Joker to resort to violence. You weren’t sure if he’d go easy on you simply because he liked you. The cold jade drilling holes into your head told you J was not in a laughing mood.

Irenka said something offhand and Joker stiffened, watching you flinch. You auto translated the jab and reacted accordingly. He hated seeing pain swallow up your beauty.

He felt like an idiot for not noticing sooner.

You found yourself caught up in a whirlwind. Joker picked you up and carried you out of the kitchen so fast, neither you nor Irenka had time to protest. He didn’t stop until you were placed on his bedroom dresser with the upmost care.

The quick flight gave you some time to build up a defense—yet Joker kissed away all thought from your frontal lobe.

Gods, you missed this. When was the last time Joker kissed you properly? The feeling of his scarred lips dancing with yours was unlike any other. It was though a spell took hold and time ceased to exist. You wrapped your arms around Joker’s neck and sank further into a stupor.

He drew the kiss to a close by resting his forehead against yours. “Did she say something to you? Is it something I did? Y/n, you’re scarin’ me.”

You were scaring Joker? The mere idea seemed impossible, but he proved it true when he maneuvered your hand to rest over his heart. The thundering beat pounded against your palm. The lump in your throat grew bigger.

“C’mon doll. It better not be that f__king Italian that’s got you stressed. I brought ya here to relax. Now, it can’t be meeee.. unless.” Joker stopped to sneak in another kiss. You melted so quickly into it that he chuckled.

“Yeah, definitely noT me, soooo that leaves the Devil downstairs. I don’t care if she’s matka. If she hurt my Light, I’ll kill her.”

You were speechless. Joker looked unfazed by his words.

“Y/n. Work with me here, please?”

You broke after hearing please come from Joker. This man must’ve been desperate to use that word. He was showing sheer dedication towards this relationship—now it was time to return the favor.

Days’ worth of insecurities and stress rushed to the surface. You didn’t spare a single detail of abuse. If Joker didn’t care about Irenka, why should you? You had no qualms about throwing her under the bus and you did so with gusto.

The room grew silent as your words processed inside Joker’s mind.

During your rant, he took to rubbing erratic shapes onto your thighs with his thumbs. The physical contact was grounding, (much to Joker’s surprise) so it came as a shock hearing his response.

“Wanna leave?”

Your neck nearly snapped glancing up, “Huh?”

“I said… do you.. wanT to leave? We can stay at my uhhh... other place. It’s a bittt more remote if that bothers ya.”

Screw the locale. Your mind was reeling with the fact Joker had multiple properties for you to choose from. The assumption that he owned the entire valley was starting to become plausible.

“No.. no.. that’s too much. I mean.. I-Irenka enjoys your company. You rarely get to visit her, am I right?”

Joker didn’t share the fact he came to visit his mother every summer. You didn’t need to know everything about his life. Some things remained in the dark for a reason.

Although, Joker knew his Bunny was ever curious. You constantly needed a diversion to lead you away from danger.

“Tell ya what doll. Let’s hit the towns, just you ‘n me! That’ll clear up this pretty little head of yours. Oh, come on. I can tell my city girl is itching to get out. Aren’t ya going through uhh technology withdrawals?”

Now that Joker mentioned it… you lost count how many days since you last held a cell phone.

Wi-Fi. You don’t know her.

J whisked you out of GothCon with nothing to your name. All you had was the clothes on your back and the mountain of dread that sat atop of it.

You whined just thinking about the billions of notifications on your device. Joker smirked, knowing his distraction worked. Anything to get your mind off of what happened downstairs.

For once in his life, Joker did not plan. He snuck into GothCon to offer moral support—not knowing he would be flying you across the world. There was no time to pack when you were seconds away from a panic attack. Joker’s instincts kicked in and his mission; protect and serve. Secure your safety at any cost. He didn’t think of anything else.

He was starting to regret his decision bringing you here.

The last contact with the outside world was during the plane exchange in Vienna. Joker wasn’t lying when he said no one knew how to get to this remote region. Seclusion was vital for a man like him, and he went to great lengths to acquire it.

He bought out the government to keep this region barred from official maps. The territory appeared as the endless wilderness of northern Slovakia on any map. Not even listed as a national park, should any dumb tourist stumble off a trail and find his domain.

Revealing that you, Irenka, and Joker were the only human beings for hundreds of miles would send you into a state. The less you knew the better. Though, if his Bunny wanted technology, Joker would prep for the long journey ahead to get it.

A major inconvenience, not like he’d ever tell you. If Joker got his way, naïve little you would think the area was easily accessible and well populated.

Which led him back to your latest rant. You were still at it..

“I can’t believe I ran out of GothCon like that. Ughhh I can only imagine what people are saying about it online. Poor Cindy must think I’m dead, again, and my reputation! Honestly, at this rate, I should just switch genres and write my own murder mystery novel. I’m so ruined..”

Great heavens above. One of these days you were going to overthink yourself into a stroke or something. Joker wanted to shake you by the shoulders for being so self-sabotaging.

He settled for grabbing your hands before they could destroy your hair.

“Stop. Just. Stop.Y/n. Leave the think-ing to me. Gotham City? Does not exist. You aren’t a best-selling author. You’re uhh.. on vacation! sooo do noT think about him or her. It’s just meeeee and pretty little you.”

Joker cupped your face to sear the words into your brain. He never looked more serious than in that moment.

You could tell J was waiting for a reply, but you couldn’t speak. His hands were squishing your cheeks together in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“Ou promi?” you managed to say.

Joker dramatically gasped. “Bun, I am offended! I have you know, I’m a man of my worrrd.” He then attacked your face with kisses. You reacted accordingly with a fit of laughter.

There she is, Joker thought. He knew you were still in there, just buried underneath all the stress of your past. One day he would set you free.

A final kiss was placed on your lips before Joker leaned away, “So! We gotta hike to the road, take a looooong ride to town so my sweet girl can get a phone and some clothes to wear! As much as I loooooove you wearin’ my old things. Hm.”

Joker’s wandering eye made you turn red in the ears. The way this man looked at you had yet to be studied.

“OOHH! I can’t forget about your precious Wi-Fi for the err.. doom scrolling I know you’re gonna do.” J added.

You scrunched up your nose. How did he always know exactly what you were thinking? Regardless if he was right, he didn’t have to call you out like that.

“For your information, I wanna contact Cindy so she doesn’t launch a search party. If she hasn’t already. Oh, and to tell my parents that I’m okay. I don’t want them to worry.”

Joker watched as you wrung your lip. Bizarre, he thought, how fretting over the opinions of others worked you up.

You had a close relationship with your parents, a stark contrast to his own. He could never understand the reasoning behind keeping them updated at your big age. You were an only child, maybe that was the case? Well—his matka wasn’t so protective of him and he oftentimes went years without contact with the woman. Still, J respected your wishes despite not understanding them. If you wanted to contact your parents, he’d make it possible.

He couldn’t stop his eyes from rolling at the thought of a search party. Like he’ll ever let that happen. “They won’t find ya. Off the maP, remember?”

Like you needed a reminder. “Yeah, thanks. That totally helps my anxiety, J.” you grumbled.

You shuddered at the reality you were in the middle of nowhere with not one, but two psychopaths. This was the stuff straight out of slasher flicks. Should anything happen to you..

“Glad to help!” Joker said brightly. He pushed you away and righted your balance on reflex when you went flailing backwards. “Hehe whoops. Go on and wash up. I’ll uh get things ready.”

Joker helped you down from the dresser and watched as you disappear into the en-suite bathroom. His Bunny was slowly thawing out but that spark would not last if his mother were still in the picture.

Joker’s smile—the one he reserved just for you—vanished the second the bathroom door closed. It wouldn’t take long to prep for a trip into town; a shower would occupy you long enough for Joker to speak with the devil downstairs.

She was exactly where he left her, grumbling to herself as she cleaned up the morning breakfast you and Joker deserted. Twin pairs of green eyes clashed the moment Joker’s feet stepped off the landing.

Irenka scoffed under her breath and continued to clear the table. Of course she would make things difficult. Joker was used to this behavior from her. He would have to strike first to gain the upper ground.

Joker sighed before using his native tongue to address his mother.

“Killing you would upset Y/n. I suggest thanking her for keeping you alive.”

Sharper words soon followed. “You do all this for that.. that girl?”

Joker was glad Irenka chose her words carefully. If some other word was used against you, he’d snap. He reminded himself to be civil for your sake. No need to spill blood so early in the day. You would freak out if he committed murder under the same roof as you. That courtesy helped him reply accordingly.

“You did less for father and see where that led you.”

The comment seemed to hit a nerve for Irenka dropped all the plates into the sink with a crash. She spun on her heel and exploded in a flurry of tongue.

“You are fool for bringing her here! She will hurt you just like he did!”

“Y/n is nothing like that man, so don’t ya ever compare them again. She’s been miserable these past few days all because you hate her! That’s the kind of woman she is. My Light should be relaxing, not falling into some depression because of your—”

“She has you wrapped around her finger.” Irenka hissed.

“I tied myself there!” Joker shouted, “Willingly. I can leave her anytime I want and trust me. I tried. I crawled right back, begging her to love me. So ya see? I am noT like you.”

His words filled the tense air while Irenka paused to really get a look at her son.

The many years overseas transformed him into a man she did not recognize. Stress was clearly visible along his face and there was a peculiar flame flickering within his eyes. It reminded Irenka much of her younger self and that spelled nothing but trouble.

If Joker was her carbon copy, then he too would fall victim to the same mistakes she once made. Why couldn’t he see that you were a wolf in sheep’s clothing waiting for the right moment to strike?

All Irenka could do was shake her head at the fool standing before her.

“Yes. Yes, you are. You will make same mistakes I made. Just you wait.”

It was like talking to a brick wall. Joker was at his wit’s end. “I finally have a chance at happiness, and you scare her away.”

“You think she’s happiness? Fine! Go! Be a fool! When she shows you her true self, do not come back.”

Her son was too blinded to see the truth. If he was foolish enough to let a woman undermine him, then so be it. Fate would deal with him.

She washed her hands of the conversation and returned to the sink full of broken dishes. Always one for having the last word, Irenka muttered aloud, “As if she loves you. You are a monster just like your—”

Crack.

Joker was stunned by the sight before him.

You appeared out of nowhere and slapped his mother across the face. He blinked in tandem with Irenka who held her burning cheek in a mixture of horror and disgust. You were seething with rage and all of it was directed at matka.

Never mind how you knew what Irenka said. Monštrum was obvious to your English ear to summarize what was being said. How dare she say that to her own son?

Joker was elated to hear your long forgotten Blüdhaven accent make a cameo.

“Girl, have you looked in a mirror lately? You is the last one to talk calling him a monster.”

You spun around to dote on J after saying your piece. There was a dumbstruck look on his face; her words must’ve burrowed deep to invoke such a response. It pained you to see a man like Joker reduced to this.

You cupped Joker’s face, “Don’t listen to her. You are not a monster.”

“Uhh yeah I am.”

You frowned at the way J tried to laugh off the abuse. It proved this behavior was the norm between him and Irenka. You couldn’t imagine your own mother being so cruel. There was no cultural barrier or form of misunderstanding; Irenka was straight up in the wrong and you refused for J to take the blame.

“Oh, so now I’m a liar?” you countered. Joker tried pulling away, but you quickly put a stop to that. “J.. stop. Hey, look at me!”

Jade eyes widened before being obedient to your demand. Joker was shocked you used his own manipulation tactic against him. Let alone that it worked.

What a perfect way to show Irenka just how far gone he was. He swallowed audibly and held onto your every word. Screw being wrapped around your finger, being poisoned was a better description of his affliction.

He was so obsessed with you it was downright pathetic.

You were locked in a heated argument with his mother—the logistics of it didn’t matter. All Joker knew was that you were fire hot and defending him like a bloodhound. He would jerk off to this possessive side of you later. For now.. Joker let you guide him out of the kitchen towards the front door, all while hurling insults at his so-called parent over your shoulder.

When he heard that distinct sigh of yours—only then did he come to his senses. “Are ya alright, Bun?”

You did so well standing up to his mother, it seemed surreal now that it was over. After years of verbal abuse, having someone defend him was liberating.

He could handle anything hurled his way except for that one word. Monštrum. It was a trigger for him. So imagine you, Joker’s Light, swooping in to dismiss those accusations so effortlessly. You were truly a goddess in Joker’s eyes.

But even a celestial being requires reassurance. The adrenaline was wearing off, and regret was settling into your bones.

You stood near the front door visibly shaking as the last five minutes came rushing back to you. “Oh my God, I just…”

Joker swept you into an embrace. “Shhh, you were amazing.”

You tried to interject, (because let’s be honest, yelling at your partner’s mother was grounds for a breakup) Joker just shushed you while pushing your head into his chest.

“We’re leaving. Right. Now.”

Maybe it was for the best that you fell asleep during the ride into town. Joker swore you didn’t miss anything. You begged to differ.

Taking in the foreign landscape of Joker’s home country was something you could never grow tired of. The land was breathtaking with a mysterious wonder in the breeze. The region was cold—colder than Gotham City—so you kept a wool blanket tightly around your person as Joker drove further into the unknown.

You had yet to see any signs of life. Joker made mention there was about an hour left of travel to go, and that was after you took a generous nap. You avoided thinking of how remote Joker’s other abode was if nature happened to be the only thing around for miles.

Finally, a picturesque town broke through the tree line and into view. You sat up, eyes wide at the green and red roofs that dotted the landscape. At last; civilization.

Joker helped you out of the vehicle as you took in Žilina.

You didn’t know where to look first. Church towers and the beautiful snowcapped mountains beyond made for the perfect postcard. It was midday and chimneys puffed out plumes of smoke, and you breathed in the promise of freshly baked goods and sweets.

Joker quickly donned a face mask before clasping his hand with yours. The abrupt contact sent a jolt through your body, and he eyed you sideways for it.

“Stay by my side mkay? Don’t want ya wanderin’ off.”

You relaxed before gushing over his protective nature. Joker kept you flush to his side as the path opened up and merged with the general public. People from all walks of life were going about their business so carefree. In no way was this area of town crowded like Gotham, although you could see why Joker was concerned.

Everything was new, loud, exciting, and a bit overwhelming. Some roads split off into small cobblestones alleyways and others into tight corridors. The tiniest car you ever seen somehow drove down a street at an alarming speed. The sight baffled the brain.

It was easy to become disoriented and lose yourself.

The roles reversed and now Joker was the guard dog. He sure looked the part wearing all black, his green eyes subtly surveying the surroundings for danger. This country was far too remote for your troubles to follow you, so it got you thinking as to what could have Joker on alert.

You decided to be a bit cheeky in your inquiry, “Ooooh? You got some old beef here I should worry about?”  

“Something like that.” Was Joker’s cryptic reply.

You wisely shut up, knowing that he very well did. This was The Joker after all. He made a name for himself that struck fear in the hearts of many.

For instance, he locked eyes with people on the street. Some nodded in passing; others did the same but did a double take as if they recognized Joker by his eyes alone. They averted their gaze and picked up the pace.

Yeah.. J definitely has a reputation here; one you did not wish to learn firsthand.

More cars sped pass as you and Joker strolled further into the city. The streets were full of life and color. Shop signs and banners written in Slovak displayed their wares and the trees, although barren due to the current season, neatly lined the sidewalks. Not a speck of liter decorated the ground as people biked, walked, and enjoyed their day.

And the people! You hadn’t seen the public in days which had you thinking.

If this was a major city, again, how remote was Joker’s other house? You foolishly fell asleep during the ride into town and failed to gauge your surroundings. How many hours separated you from civilization should you need to run? Where was the nearest airport? Just how far in the mountains were you? Always one to plan an out, you nudged J.

“Where is this other house? Does it at least have a fridge?”

If Joker knew what you were alluding to, he didn’t show it. His signature hum started off his response as he continued walking. “It’s not that off the grid, Bun. Fridge, stove, fantastic views. Peace aaaaand quieT. Its uhh.. near the island I showed ya.”

You knew the one. Joker shared his own safe haven with you day one.

If you closed your eyes, you could still see it. A dense fog rolling across the clearing where tall trees and the snowy mountains loomed in the distance. Absolute silence unlike you’ve ever experienced. The hallowed grounds held an ominous aura and yet, you felt so safe there. It provided a place to hide, a place to just be yourself and to think.

That carved out island seemed so isolated from the rest of the world and yet, it wasn’t far from the main house and subsequently, this city. You would never get your bearings straight on how to get from one location to another. The region was just too vast for you to map out.

You just had to accept the fact you were stranded in this country until Joker deemed it appropriate to leave.

On the other hand. Joker was an excellent tour guide. As he walked, he pointed out certain shops and attractions that might interest you.

There was a two-story library with a giant oak tree stretching taller than the roof. He promised to take you there when you drooled at the endless stacks visible from the front window. A packed bakery oozing the same inviting scent from earlier, beckoned you in. Ancient stone seemed to be the builder’s choice of material, as the city had an ethereal design that you wanted to capture for a new book.

The streets were filled with magic, at least in your eyes they were. Joker hardly cared to stop and smell the roses. He did halt in front of a white brick structure that boasted an iron sign above that depicted, obchod.

Although you couldn’t read the sign, upon opening the door, you knew exactly where Joker led you to. You stood frozen at the entrance. Each textile therein was handcrafted works of art.

Joker smirked as you wandered inside as if in a trance. You were going to be here a while.

A traditional skirt caught your eye. Then a gorgeous Maastricht colored shirt, and right next to it was the prettiest embroidery you’ve ever seen. You were overwhelmed in the best way. Nothing in this store was plain, and you wanted to try on everything in spite of it all.

You jumped, feeling Joker nuzzle into your neck from behind, “Get what-e-ver ya want, Princess.” He kissed just below your jawline before turning away to speak to the salesperson.

More foreign dialogue spilled from Joker’s lips. It still surprised you that he spoke another language and so fluently. It slipped so naturally from J that it made you question everything you thought you knew about him. These frequent reminders proved that you didn’t know Joker at all, and that fact hit hard.

Joker had so many faces that you would never see the real one. You ducked your head and eyed a sunflower colored dress more closely.

Across the store, two people were engaged in conversation.

“Who is this girl? Very beautiful, no?” Hana said, nodding at you. None the wiser, you held the dress to your person while posing in a nearby mirror.

J never brought anyone home, so seeing a woman with him came as a total surprise. She was dying to know your relationship to J.

Hana knew Jack when he was still wet behind the ears and she never seen him so smitten. His eyes did not stray as you made your way through the boutique picking out clothes.

There was a glimmer in your eye, akin a kid in a candy store, that J thoroughly enjoyed. Each time you stumbled across something new, you let out a squeal. Your hands were ever so careful touching the merchandise. Each item was precious and you bestowed it respect as you combed through the selection.

Joker almost forgot about Hana’s comment he got so caught up staring. “She’s a curious one, isn’t she? Like a rabbit.” he hummed.

Hana shot Jack a deadpan glare. That’s not what she asked, although it was a cue to stop prying. Anyone could tell you were Joker’s girl. And for you to have a man like Joker utterly smitten, you were definitely a keeper.

She glanced at you again with a knowing smile. “I have a perfect outfit for her. Wait here.”

Hana hobbled off to retrieve it, leaving Joker behind to watch over you affectionately. You made it to the accessories and held up a pair of earrings for Joker to see.

“Are these real?!” You never seen precious stones shine so brilliantly. They were heavy in your palm and clattered softly when knocked together. Joker did say to get anything you wanted.

You held them up to your ear—already imagining an outfit that could work well with them.

The woman J was chatting with appeared with a bundle of fabric in her arms. She gestured for you to take it—understanding Slovak was unknown to you. Despite the language barrier, the two of you gushed over the dress until she got, “Try! Try!” across to you.

You hesitated, still wearing the clothes Joker lent you to wear during your stay. Today was rather warm by Slovakian standards so you got away with thick pants and an old flannel over a sweater. Knowing each item was Joker’s made you flustered, although you had nothing else to wear.

You were ready to get into something your size for a change. However, you would sorely miss Joker’s flannel. It smelled absolutely divine.

Hana stood next to Joker once more, idly filling him in on your cute attempts at conversation while you darted off to change.

Hana thought you mannerable and bright too for learning how to say thank you correctly on the second try.

Such a sweet girl. Jack had done well for himself since he left the country. She playfully swatted his arm before speaking, “Good girl, you do right by her, syn. I still have my wits to beat you.”

Joker rubbed at the area hit. The old woman had heavy hands, and he knew she would enjoy beating some sense into him if given the chance. Joker shuddered thinking back on the years of tough love from Hana. She was more of a motherly figure than his biological one, to the point that he cared and respected Hana more.

Still, the old girl must be senile because what did she mean, ‘do right by you?’ Please. He would burn the world for you and Hana knew it. She knew firsthand the lengths Joker would go for the people he loved.

Her words were merely a formality. Surprisingly, Joker nodded in reply, “Yes matka. Say. Do ya have—”

At that moment, you returned from the fitting room and Joker’s question died on his tongue.

You were smoothing the fabric down, looking quite bashful. Honestly, you were fussing over nothing.

Hana’s choice fit you like a dream. The dress was long to keep you warm against the harsh cold, but your curves shown through by the natural waistline outlined in embroidery. The sleeves were lantern shaped, and when you spun, the skirt’s fabric flared in structured pleats.

Joker had gone oddly silent. Hana chuckled under her breath.

It was Hana’s turn to fuss, pointing out intricate details while she bedighted you with essentials vital for the current weather. You felt the warmth soothe you with each layer she added.

The dress was traditional in style, but the gloves and heeled boots Hana fitted you with were modern. Then came the cherry on top. A beautiful mink coat carefully draped over your shoulders.

Not even the Gotham City elite had mink this authentic. It was perfect for traipsing around the snow-capped mountains while also looking straight off somebody’s runway.

You were finally in something your size. Hana helped you pick out more clothes—you did not know how long your stay in Slovakia would be. By the way Joker was acting, he didn’t seem ready to leave.

She taught you how to dress accordingly for cold mornings before fretting over finding a hat that could fit over your bountiful curls. You trotted along behind her still in awe of the coat snug around your body. It didn’t have a price tag, (nothing in the store did) and you knew what that meant.

Joker was about to drop some bands on you. Speaking of..

Joker watched you shop about with an odd smile that made butterflies swarm inside your stomach. It was unhealthy the way this man made you feel. Just one look had you acting like a schoolgirl. Months into this affair and you still weren’t used to his brand of affection.

Hours passed and it felt like Hana sold you a new wardrobe. There was so much that she shooed you and Joker out with the promise that the purchases would be delivered to Joker’s post by the day’s end.

You stopped trying to steal a peek at the invoice J shoved into his pocket. There were more pressing matters at hand.

Like, the man has his own post? Your bunny like ears were standing on end, though Joker offered no explanation. At this point, it was dumb to expect one.

You wanted to know how deliveries worked around here! Surely it wasn’t top secret. Joker caught you pouting and flicked you on the nose.

You’d find out somehow.

The afternoon sun forced you out of the fur coat as you and Joker ventured deeper into the city. Joker was glad there was one less layer that kept him from seeing you all dolled up. His Light could make anything look phenomenal. He had plenty to thank Hana for.

One for highlighting your beauty, and two for coaxing you out of your shell.

Just a few hours in the city and you were far more relaxed than you’d been in days. He was glad to see you somewhat back to normal.

Fresh air was all his Bunny needed.

Over time the city buildings became more clustered together and foot traffic increased. You started to see the true city reveal itself. People sat on outdoor terraces, sipping coffee and enjoying light conversations outside businesses. Chatter in the streets began stacking up. You gathered it was the lunch hour, for the atmosphere picked up tempo as people grabbed bites to eat and moved about.

There were less frightful glances at Joker and more mutual indifference whenever he passed. You got the feeling you stepped into his turf, and you tried your best to keep your head down lest trouble find you. It had a habit of finding you in any situation, peaceful or not.

Joker guided you into a local electronic store where a patron about your age was sitting at the counter reading the paper.

Their eyes flickered over the top and wisely averted after catching sight of Joker. You looked away when their gaze scanned over you appraisingly.

He arched an eyebrow but said nothing. Instead, a thick accent said something to Joker. It wasn’t Slovak—which made you blink incessantly.

Just how many languages did this clown speak? Whatever the dialect, you gathered it was a curt greeting because J grumbled back a response before he waltzed up to the electronics on display, and helping himself to whatever.

Joker had to have some unspoken agreement with the owner. You were appalled as J grabbed two phones and a tablet, tearing them open from their boxes, before nodding for you to follow him out.

That is until he stopped in his tracks and snatched two SIM cards from the owner who held them out for J to take. The transaction—if one could call it that—barely lasted three minutes.

Your eyes darted from J’s retreating form to the shop owner who didn’t spare you a glance. They turned the page of their paper while you stood there processing the scene.

What just happened.

Joker poked his head back into the shop and had the nerve to look at you in confusion.

“Bun, whaddya doing? The uhh.. inT-err-neT café is this way.”

He just walked in and took these people’s stuff. Just like that. Sweet baby Jesus, Joker was an international threat because how did someone get robbed peacefully? The owner didn’t even put up a fight.

You shook your head and was about to leave when the shop owner’s voice halted your steps.

“Buďte opatrní, je nebezpečný.” he said. You drew a blank that prompted him to translate, “Be careful, he’s dangerous,” in broken English.

Well. Duh. He just robbed you in broad daylight dude.

Your face must’ve said as much. The man returned to his paper thus ending the one-sided chat.

That was dumb, you thought. If only he knew Joker was the safest person in your life these days. The thought of him warning you about Joker made you roll your e/c eyes.

This was not the first time (nor would it be the last) that someone tried to give you advice. If you had a dollar for each time it happened, you could fund your own book to movie adaptation and not have to bother Bruce.

Woah.

What a random thought that was.

You couldn’t remember the last time Bruce danced across your brain. That was a closed chapter in your life. He wasn’t your concern anymore—and hadn’t been for ages—so why did your brain drag him out of the depths?

The mountains were getting to you or something. Maybe the altitude? Joker didn’t want you thinking about those things. You were on vacation. You would face reality when you returned to Gotham. If you returned. Žilina was steadily growing on you.

The vista was breathtaking; the air was crisp and healing. If you re-established yourself to the internet, you might consider staying indefinitely.

Would Joker consider letting you stay here? Was it too selfish to invade his secret private life and make it your own? Yes, it was. Irenka would make sure of that. There was no way Irenka would let you know peace.

You perished the thought of Žilina being home as you stepped outside.

The sun blinded you until you blinked back the harsh rays. A busy crowd and a strong gust of cold wind greeted you. You could really use that mink coat right about now. And that’s when your heart sank to your stomach.

Joker was nowhere in sight.

You looked left then right, and left again but there wasn’t a speck of green to be found. No dark shadow looming over your shoulder. No guard dog awaiting your command. No familiar face in this bustling plaza.

Where did Joker sneak off to that fast? Now you understood the phrase, ‘gone in sixty seconds.’ And that’s when it really hit you. You were a foreigner with no documentation, no form of communication, lost in a non-English speaking country.

If you weren’t a ball of nerves, you would have stopped and thought things through like the educated woman you are. Alas, you did the one fatal mistake characters do in horror movies.

You didn’t stay put. Nope, you started walking—trying to find your way back to Hana’s shop on your own.

It was just a stroll away or maybe a few turns down that street, or did you miss the corner already? Nothing looked familiar—as if it ever would.

This was your first time in this city, and you were foolish to wander off thinking you knew the way. Even with your good memory, you were going in circles. Gods, you really were acting like a blonde in a slasher flick. Why didn’t you stay put and let Joker find you?

Some bodyguard he was for losing his precious Light. Now was not the time to point fingers, you would yell at J once you managed to reunite with him and that seemed to be a monumental task.

Every time you stopped for directions, the second people realized you only spoke English, they shook their heads and walked off saying what you assumed was an apology.

Okay… people weren’t as friendly here as you thought. You ignored the fact you stuck out like a sore thumb this deep in the residential district. You looked the part of a lost tourist who wandered down the beaten path. Situations like this look so much easier in movies, you mused.

You felt like an idiot miming for help to passerby who only offered pitiful smiles. They couldn’t help you but geez it was humiliating. Now was not the time to cry. You could not afford to look completely helpless.

Your last hope was that Joker would somehowingly find you. He always came to your rescue without fail. It was only a matter of time before he found you. But those miraculous rescues always occurred back in Gotham City; you were in a different country with no way to contact J.

This all getting to you. The one time you wanna act like an independent woman, now was not the wrong time. Joker was gonna chew you a new one for this…

And to make matters worse, your twisted mind imagined Joker’s voice calling out for you.

“Excuse me, are you lost?”

You nearly cried just hearing English! Situational awareness and common sense flew out straight out the window. You spun around ready to sweet talk your way back into Joker’s good graces, but you were in for a disappointment.

Your savior was brunet—nothing like the sun kissed blond dyed signature green you longed for—with warm brown eyes, not green.

Watching you deflate like a balloon was an amusing sight. He titled his head coyly as he waited for your response.

Therapy with Dr. Quinn must’ve been working wonders because you didn’t tense up in the presence of this strange man. In fact, after getting over your slight disappointment that he wasn’t J, you welcomed him wholeheartedly.

“Yes! Yes, I’m lost. Wait um… you do speak English, right? Oh God, p-please tell me you understand what I’m saying.” you groaned. If he didn’t, you would be back to square one begging every passerby for help.

He smirked, “I do. Erm, pardon me, are you alone? Were you with friends I mean?” He adjusted a satchel over his shoulder as he glanced around. “Quite rude of them to leave you behind.”

Your laugh came out more bitter than you intended. “Tell me about it.”

When you got your hands on that dark clown… you smiled brightly after catching the wary look the stranger gave you. You could not afford for him to think you crazy and deny aid. Thankfully, he spared you secondhand embarrassment.

He extended his hand for you to shake.

“Adam. May I walk you to the square? It is public area where most gather when lost.”

Ah, they had a central lost and found area. How cute. Just your luck it wasn’t an uncommon occurrence. You thought back to Joker’s words earlier in the day.

“Stay by my side mkay? Don’t want ya wanderin’ off.”

And what did you do? J was right, you never follow his orders. What was done was done. You had to push forward and hope that Joker was in a forgiving mood.

Adam seemed kind enough to follow. You glanced around and only saw restaurants and private businesses on the strip. Finding this square that he spoke of would be impossible on your own.

Hopefully Joker had the same mindset as Adam to meet up in the square. You nodded. “Lead the way, please.”

You felt awful for not being more sociable. Adam seemed like a nice guy, truly. It's just that his attempts at light conversation were a bit invasive in your opinion.

No matter how progressive your brief therapy sessions with Dr. Quinn were, you staunchly denied holding Adam’s hand. The best you could muster was holding onto his satchel as he led you through the congested crowd. And even that was testing your limits.

You were far from the tourist part of town. The people walking in this area were identical to Gotham citizens in that they had places to be with no time to spare for slow walkers. You were struggling to keep up with Adam’s long strides through the throng while simultaneously trying to avoid your anxiety rearing its ugly head. If one more person bumped into you, the Blüdhaven girl in you was finna pop off.

Was it this crowded when you and Joker were walking earlier? You honestly couldn’t remember.

Adam must have noticed your labored breathing since he stepped off the sidewalk and turned down a beaten path. “Shortcut.” He called over his shoulder, smiling wide.

You wanted to speak up, to request sticking to the crowded route, (even at the expense of your frayed nerves) but Adam was not stopping. You didn’t want to lose your only hope but a weird feeling was nagging at your brain.

Was this really a shortcut?

Your ancestors were telling you to reconsider. Just wait for Joker to magically appear. Don’t trust this man because when had men ever been kind to you?

Still, Dr. Quinn’s voice sounded in your brain. “You trust others so willingly and ya learned a valuable lesson because of it.”

Should you take a chance and trust Adam this one time? He was helping you find J after all. Sure, his questions were a bit strange, yet you could chalk it up to words getting lost in translation. He was the only person out of a handful that offered to help you out. Why sully his good deeds with negative vibes all because you had trust issues?

You were supposed to be overcoming your fears. This was an unprecedented situation to try and play things safe. You had no other choice but to trust him.

But the saxophone were getting louder.

Nice guys were dangerous. Short cuts led to problems. Trust is for fools and bad things always happened when you didn’t listen to your ancestor's advice.

This situation was painting itself to be one big repeat of past mistakes..

All this inner dialogue occurred in a span of a minute—long enough for Adam to notice you had let go of his bag, and for him to backtrack to check on you. “You okay?”

You nodded but didn’t meet his gaze. When did you start breathing heavily? Minutes ago you were cold, now you were burning up. “I ahh I don’t… I mean.. I feel..”

You tugged at your dress collar. Great now you couldn’t form coherent sentences.

Right as you built up the courage to turn down Adam’s aid, you heard a new voice approaching from behind. And this one was not the friendly English Adam used but rather the same language the electronic shop owner had.

The newcomer clapped a heavy hand onto your shoulder while saying something jovial to Adam. Your neck craned to stare but to your horror the man was already leering at you. “She’s too pretty for him, ey mate.”

Huh?

Your eyes snapped to Adam. The warmth that once was there had extinguished. He sighed heavily as he met your gaze. It only took seconds for you to put two and two together and even less to take off running.

You thanked Hana wherever she was for giving you block heeled boots. They were perfect for the knee-to-chest action you were applying. You refused to be another news headline of, ‘American killed while on vacation.’  

Just another scandal to add to your growing roster. You would have grey hairs by the years end with all the drama in your life.

Never mind the fact you were getting increasingly more lost, the pair of footsteps gaining speed behind you motivated you to keep running. If you could find a way out of these sketchy looking backstreets and return to the bustling tourist area of town, you could revert to common sense Y/n and find Joker with logical thinking.

This Miss Independent role you took on was not worth your life.

You turned down a street and yelped in shock when it suddenly turned into a dead end. You collided with a stone wall—thinking of a way to get out this when your assailants caught up with you.

They blocked the only exit, jeering at you in their own language. Simply another way of humiliating you by emphasizing the language barrier.

Your lighthouse necklace clung to your heaving chest as they approached slowly. It was the only solace you had.

You knew you didn’t stand a chance fighting either male off, your best bet was stunning one before breaking off into another run. The odds were slim, but you were on your own.

A fact that made your lower lip wobble. Where was Joker when you needed him the most?

You lowered your gaze only for it to snap up at the sound of pain. The adrenaline rush must’ve gotten to your head. Your mind was playing tricks on you. In every scenario you wanted to be rescued but the sight unfolding before your eyes was just too surreal to believe.

You never truly understood the hype behind Joker’s name. Growing up in Blüdhaven acclimated you to the dangers of crime and the people who committed them. Joker never really scared you the way he did normal people.

But something about seeing him in his element flipped that mindset.

The ruthless, murderer that Gotham City—scratch that—the world, painted J out to be was right in front of you in all his glory.

He emerged from the shadows and caught the two men completely unaware. Joker’s hand guided the second thug’s head into the stone wall with a sickening crunch.

The heavy thud of the body meeting the ground told you he was dead.

Adam reacted, albeit slow. He called out for his fallen comrade and turned right into Joker’s fist. You winced with each pummel that seemed endless.

Joker was past the point of seeing red. He kept punching Adam, harder and harder as the man began to laugh. Oh, so he thought this was game? Joker nodded along as he started bashing Adam’s head into the ground.

He didn’t stop. Bruised knuckles, splatter of blood, wheezes of pain, distant crying—Joker blocked it all out.

This happened because Joker’s old gang got wind of him entering the city. He should’ve known they would hash up old beef. After all, twenty years was a long time to wait for revenge.

Spotting a woman clinging to Joker—the perfect target, was too good of an opportunity to pass up. Joker just hoped in this life and the next that you never discovered that he purposefully abandoned you at the electronic store.

It was their base of operation and flaunting you in their face was the best way to set this trap into motion. He put his Bunny in harm’s way just to give the enemy an opening to strike.

If anything happened to you, it would be on Joker’s conscience until his dying days. Another reminder that he didn’t deserve you. He wasn’t good for you. He never would be.

Still, it was better if they acted here in the city than to track you back to the safe house and gather more intel.

He was tired of this old beef. He thought leaving the country cut all known ties, but it was time to sever them for good by killing off their leader. A perfect message to the remaining members that Joker was serious.

And it was so satisfying to see the pathetic man gasping for air beneath him.

You called Joker’s name only to be ignored. He was like a machine, turning Adam’s face into a disturbing heap of red. This was past overboard; you didn’t know what to do.

“J… that’s enough.. he’s.. oh my God.” You gagged hearing the wet squelches of blood after each blow. Would it ever end?

You couldn’t take any more of this. As much as you hated to admit, Irenka was right by calling Joker a monster. But this wasn’t your J.

This was The Joker, a man possessed by something you needed to drag him away from. At this rate, J wouldn’t stop until there wasn’t anything left to destroy.

You scrambled to your feet and tried pulling Joker away, but he wasn’t budging. He couldn’t hear your voice, he was so far away from his Light, nothing was getting through except the voices in his head, chanting.

Make them fear what they don’t understand.

Destroy them all and watch the world burn.

Send a message.

You choked back a sob seeing the manic smile plastered on Joker’s face grow wider. They didn’t even touch you and he did this… whatever this was supposed to be. It was scaring you. This version of Joker that disregarded you completely and chose destruction.

He was scaring you, the one thing he vowed not to do.

You had to try and talk some sense into him. “J.. stop, please! I-I’m right here. P-Please just....”

Did you dare say it now? Joker was so far gone it didn’t matter if he reacted or not, but you had to at least try. Anything to snap him out of this bloodlust.

One word held the power to change everything. You carried this burden long enough. Maybe J needed something raw and earthshattering to ground him back to you. But that didn’t mean the task was easy.

The word was still lodged in your throat, refusing to escape.

You watched helplessly as the man you loved, fell further and further into the stereotype the world created for him.

He wasn’t a monster, at least not to you. You were his Lighthouse. You had to guide him out of this darkness. And do so, you had to take a leap of faith into the unknown. It was now or never. If this was the end, knowing that you saved Joker would give you peace of mind.

You swallowed your fears and screamed, “Jack, stop!”

Joker is a well known simp so he'll soak up all your love with zero shame.

He pretends to hate the welcome home kisses you scatter across his face because of the lipstick transfer but you know your man loves it, so you keep doing it.

Covering him with kisses isn't a want, its a need, one that you fulfill daily.

Something about seeing his Light's love literally all over him... yeah it send this clown into a state.

Joker manipulates you into attacking him since he stay lounging around shirtless, practically begging for it.

You smack your lips and go to town decorating his back and then unceremoniously flipping him over to cover his chest.

Side note: tumblr tagged the image I wanted to use as mature content 🙄 lipstick stains on a guy's chest. Really? Le sigh.

Back to business. Turn that man into a work of art!! He’ll even hand you a tube of lipstick if you aren't wearing any.

Joker lays there with a goofy smile as you keep pecking his skin. Each kiss is like heroin to him and no. He is not washing it off in the shower.

Unless you force him to and even then, he knows you'll mark him right back up. Endless loop anon. You love kissing him anywhere you can get your lips on 🤭

Because Joker keeps you a secret, he has to get creative in the ways he shows you off. For example: the tie pictured above.

Joker will ask you to make it and yes he wears it out in public, smugly saying "my Bunny got such pretty lips.."

or IF J IS REALLY BOLD, he will tattoo your lipstick print right over his heart or perhaps somewhere on his arm so when he rolls up his sleeves.. Chaos short circuits.

Anyhooooo! I think either black or red lipstick will look sick on J.

As for him returning the favor???? Oh. OH! Prepare yourself for that attack because Joker takes it to the next level.

Joker grabs your face and goes to town, smudging his iconic red lipstick all. over. your. face.

Instead of kisses you resemble a toddler after eating spaghetti and J likes it that way.

Now there is something to be said about when Joker's kisses get lower and lower, like below the belt.

Chaos will keep this sfw but yeah Joker is doing more than just kissing you...