The Hiccup is in

He's doing sponsored Harry Potter content now, so he is dead to me.

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY TURN YOUR SOUND ON

the word 'swim' is doing a lot of heavy work here

Not half as much as the audio is

“Why are American kids the sickest of any developed nation?” I dunno, maybe because we have a for-profit medical system, social welfare programs are constantly being undermined, environmental protections have been rolled back, companies are allowed to market any kind of bullshit they want, the housing/cost of living crisis means a lot of children are living in cramped, mold infested shitholes ran by landleeches and- vaccines? Oh, you think vaccines are what is causing it?

it bothers me that you often don't really hear about people having a "favorite album" the way they might have a favorite movie or favorite video game

fuck it. reblog this and tell me in the tags what your favorite album is

WTF this is masterful, 10/10.

Other people have said this in notes, but the Bulwer-Lytton contest involves writing the most absurd opener you can think of and submitting it to the contest. It's not a judgment like the Razzies or the bad sex in books award or something; it's a game. Diana Murtaugh of Baltimore is to be congratulated for this win.