When he first met the man he now calls “coach”, he was was Derek, a painfully shy little office nerd just looking for the confidence to finally get in shape. He was too shy to even step foot in gym, fearing all sorts of humiliation. So he figured a licensed hypnotist could once-and-for-all remove his inhibitions about gyms and working out. Unfortunately for Derek, but fortunately for the much improved “big D”, he didn’t realize that his hypnotist’s license was revoked for malpractice and conflict of interest.
See, Derek figured Dr. Karl Johnssen’s background as both a sports psychologist and hypnotist was ideal. But the good doctor also owns a small chain of gyms competing in a saturated market, and was in desperate need of a large base of loyal and shredded members who’d gladly transform themselves into walking, talking billboards for the unique success of his operation.
Thus, while Dr. Johnssen, or “Coach Karl”, obviously managed to get Derek to loose his inhibitions over the gym and getting in shape, he also got him to loose his inhibitions about doing everything Coach wants. …And Coach wanted a serious lifter, not some casual day jobber who’d occasionally walk around with his gym’s logo fitting loosely over his sunken chest, killing his brand’s prestige! No, he needed to train little nerdy Derek into “big D”, a proud lifter and fitness freak.
So out with the old inhibitions and in with the new: On his course to becoming big D, life outside the gym gradually made less sense to Derek, and he became more intimated by the complexities of the word. So often he’d wonder “what’s the fucking point?” to all the boring, repetitive tasks of business life. Tasks which, truth be told, he hated because he couldn’t do them anymore. He’d forgotten how his job worked. Simple math, basic vocabulary and other elementary concepts eluded Derek now. When his PC’s clock hit 5, he heard a school dismissal bell in his mind, and giddily ran off for the safe, warm bubble of the gym, where he could just let go and be himself, to be big D. He didn’t need to think or deal with boring repetitive concepts. The only numbers he needed were in multiples of 5 or 10. And repetition at Coach’s gym didn’t hurt his head, it but built his muscles up nice and swole.
When “Derek” looks as he is pictured above, which is almost all the time, all he thinks now is “a swole big D is D happy big D”.
Big D moved right above the gym with Coach now and fears anytime he walks out. I say he fears walking outside, but he’s happy running outside, the world too much of a blur for him to process and get overwhelmed by all the signs and words and things.
“Big D is for big dumb muscle” he tells people when they smile and ask his real name.
Coach knows meatheads attract business. With Big Dumb Muscle running around, he’s getting more and more everyday.
