randomness

Paano kung natuto akong humingi ng tulong? Marahil hindi ko kailangang pagdaanan ang mga yun nang mag-isa.

Paano kung mas naging bukas ako sa mga taong totoong may malasakit sa'kin? Siguro naagapan pa yun eh.

Paano kung hindi ako duwag? Siguro mas malayo na ako ngayon.

Paano kung hindi ako nagpakalunod sa self-hatred ko? Marahil may ginawa ako para tulungan sarili ko.

Paano kung mas nagpursige ako? Siguro hindi ako talunan.

Paano kung hindi ako tumigil? Edi sana may Sablay na rin ako.

Sana. Sana gan'to at hindi ganyan. Sana talaga.

Admirable you are for being able to change for the better. You've mentioned how apathetic you used to be, and I'm glad you learned to be somehow sensitive about the people around you.

Ideas you speak may sometimes sounds absurd but I won't deny that I like hearing weird stuffs from you. You have a mind that likes to wonder and wander, and I think that's one of the reasons why talking to you is never dull.

Never have I thought that I'll meet someone who will gonna make it easy for me to talk about the things that I refused to share even with the people I trust the most. I don't care if you're just really loquacious— for me, when you started sharing about your stories, that made me think that you're comfortable with me and you trust me, thus, I want to reciprocate your energy.

External validation and compliments you give sound sarcastic most of the time, but I won't deny that it never failed to make me smile. I just like the fact that we can have a nonsense but fun conversation, and can shift into something sensible and serious topic.

Yes, this message is for you. Just take the initials of each paragraph and you'll know that it's you that I'm talking about.

I'm thankful for having wholesome people in my life who stayed despite of me being a ghost sometimes-- I mean, I sometimes disappear (cutting communication for monthssss thus no one can reach out😅); and being reserved and aloof making it hard to enter the walls I've built.

I started this new journey with people who are strangers to me, and I wanted to keep going with those same people whom I'm starting to enjoy my journey with.

Give yourself a little appreciation cuz you did well pulling yourself together and pressing on.

Be thankful cuz every step means progress.