Now With Twice as Much Lemon!

You will never understand the mental torture of being 12 years old and having a debilitating crush on Hugo Weaving Elrond & having to lie to ur friends and say you like Legolas Orlando bloom like all the other girls so you don’t get fucking bullied

Now I’m 35 and I have a live sized cardboard Elrond who lives on my stairwell & I kiss him every time I go upstairs so anyway the moral of the story is never kill yourself

Obligatory @pangur-and-grim ?

#mynuancedboner

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

there is no "epstein class". perhaps you mean capitalists, or men, or adults, or white people. all of those are classes, and membership in any of those classes gives an individual more power that they can use for sexual violence. the random parent or sports coach or whatever that sexually abuses the kid they have power over has no ties to epstein, and i can't help but feel that reducing it all to epstein is functionally a way of defending people like that by pretending the problem is Big News-Worthy Conspiracy and not a society that's extremely full of violence at all levels

When people say the Epstein class, they very intentionally are referring to Jews.

doomscrolling tiktok together and I turn to you and ask, "why doesn't your algorithm recommend any videos with Black people?"

The one thing the girl must accomplish to escape the house is to dress for dinner.

Honestly? Same

“autism wouldn’t have been difficult before capitalism” “nothing that caused me burnout existed before industrialization” well what if your boots feel weird against your skin. and your cape is itchy and too heavy. and your brooch keeps making an annoying sound everytime you move and this party is too loud and you’re hungry and there’s pigeon stew but you can’t stand the texture of pigeon so you ate some olives and now your hands feel oily and gross and you drank a little bit too much wine (bc there’s no clear water. also it was too bitter) so now your head hurts and you feel a little hot but not hot enough to take your cape off and you promised this time we leave when I asked, Aurelius! you promised! and don’t forget we still have a three hour ride back home you promised it’s not going to be like last time! or something of the sort.

the ‘Life only started sucking in the 19th century’ attitude as anti-capitalist praxis is truly hilarious like. personally, if the sun was even a tiny little bit too hot on the back of my neck while i was being kidnapped and taken as a war captive after *insert empire here* conquered my home i wouldve been pissed. praefectus if the shackles feel weird on my skin im killing us both

957 days left

listen to Granny on 957 days left

963 days left

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users

sorry i’m reblogging this again but this just makes me so fucking angry. this reminds me of those dudes running game of thrones who had virtually no experience and were allowed to just. treat a multimillion dollar franchise as their little fuck-around-and-learn-about-tv sandbox. why are white men with no credentials allowed to get away with this over and over again while the rest of us have to fight tooth and nail for literal crumbs. i fucking hate the entertainment industry

tfw you realize you put more thought into your self indulgent fanfic in middle school than someone in charge of a multimillion dollar franchise that employs thousands of people and is watched by millions.