don't need permission to dance

i’m currently in london for a couple of events, as well as doing a few things with my beauty line, treslúce beauty and i was not prepared for how cold it would be? this inglewood chica is very much a sun baby and thrives off of the heat, so i’ve got a good feeling that i’m not going to survive while i’m here at all. i’m here for a few weeks as well, which means i’ll be one frozen chica by the time i’m meant to go home. i’m just glad my assistant had thought ahead and reminded me to pack much warmer clothing, or i truly would be a popsicle right now. but since i’m here for a few weeks and it’s been a while since i’ve been across the pond, anyone got any solid suggestions for me on things i can do? i don’t want to spend all my time on work while i’m here, because all work and no play make becky a dull girl. 

/ @hollyweirdstarters​​

so hurt... did you specifically time it so you’d be out of la when we got here for our performances? it was great to see you at the amas though! i do feel bad for you that you might be a frozen chica by the end of your trip, but i can’t lie, we’ve been soaking up the sunny weather. you don’t have anything fun planned yet? you could go see the national gallery or the victoria and albert museum? i always love to visit galleries wherever we travel. even just walking around with a camera was something i had so much fun with, since it’s such a beautiful city. i can relate though - between performing and other scheduling, we might still miss out on a lot of fun things in la.

LA is honestly so gorgeous, I don’t want to leave but also can’t wait to get back to Korea because I do miss home, but then I’ll miss Army and I don’t think I can win with anything. We took a break from performing for two days and now we’ll be performing again tomorrow night and that’ll be for the 1st and 2nd, then the 3rd we have Jingle Ball and then we can head back to Korea. I have done a few things though while being here, at least some stuff that I can find, plus the food here is good. Anyways, enough rambling, how has your week been going so far?? Also, I’m Jimin, some of you may know me from BTS but yes, Hello. @hollyweirdstarters​

jiminie!!! you already know i feel the same, so hopefully when we’re back for the grammy’s we can stay for longer then a few days then. because i already miss tan, and it’ll be nice to be back home for christmas. although i’d want to extend this trip for another week if we didn’t have a schedule to get back for, because between jet lag and performances we’ve all been a little tired. i know i’m going to be dreaming of the fish tacos and french dip sandwich for months when we get back. what’s been your favorite part so far? ready and excited for the jingle ball tomorrow?!

Yeon: You could be a totally different person but fame clearly hasn't changed you. Although, you hold yourself different now. I'm not sure you even notice how confident you seem but I like that. Come on, I hardly knew anyone there anyway. Being around someone I knew was a relief so thank you for not abandoning me. If anything, I feel bad, You're a social butterfly. You could have had a ton of fun.

Yeon: Hey, one of these days I'm going to shock you when I actually stop. Well, alcohol dehydrates you so at least drink some juice or something. Wouldn't want you getting ill, would I? I'd feel partly responsible if you did. Got to look out for you. I really don't think I could stomach anything right now. Unless your mom is around... she always made me the best banana pancakes. I miss them.

Yeon: I just don't see that being a good enough reason but if you say you weren't scared, next year we'll just have to find one even worse. I wasn't scared by it. Believe it or not, there's a sequel to it. I had no idea but I watched it a couple of weeks ago. You'd have been terrified. 😂 No, I haven't told anyone. I'll take your secret to the grave. There's nothing to be ashamed of though. You know Chucky scared the hell out of me. Haven't been able to look a doll the same ever since. I really thought I'd hurt you, glad to know it's just your overly dramatic self. A shower sounds like a great idea, might get some orange juice too. I'll be fine. You know I never cope well with hangovers.

Yeon: I wish you were here to take care of me. [erased]

Yeon: Don't think I've ever met someone like you. A problem? Food is the answer. Could never go hungry with you around. Really? Wow, I wonder what else our parents don't know. Did you ever tell them about that time we got lost and ended up hitch hiking a ride back home? I was too scared my dad would freak out so I've kept that one to myself too. 👀 Oh yeah, Rose and Jack would have both died on that door if they'd both been on it. They were to heavy together and it sunk but still, my point stands. Hey, I'm trying to be nice! Glad you hated it just as much as I did. Feels stupid having avoided talking properly for so long. You were always one of my favourite people.

Yeon: Well, if we ever bump into each other again then you can drive. Lets see if you're still just as bad as last time. I guess being driven around all the time now must have taken away some of your ability. Do you still know how to parallel park?

Yeon: They adore you. As if they could ever resist the Tae charm. You had them wrapped around your finger and you know it. Hey, your parents were right about me. My innocent face reflects how innocent I am. Not my fault we got into some tricky situations... okay, maybe it was but you were just as much to blame as me. We had fun though, right? That's what counts. A life time of memories is well worth some sketchy moments. I wouldn't have changed it. Would you?

tae: i do? thank you. but not a cocky kind of confident, right? it's okay if other people think that because i know i can be ridiculous sometimes, but i mightn't survive if you thought it. you hold yourself a little differently too, only you're still the yeon i've always remembered. oh, please, yeony. you're a social butterfly too. i still haven't met a single person who hasn't loved you. i did have a ton of fun though, and i wouldn't have wanted to spend the night any other way.

tae: i ordered some juice too, don't worry. why would you feel partly responsible if i got ill? i think it was either only my fault or the punch's fault. i miss my mom's banana pancakes too. nobody was a bigger fan than you, of course, but i just realized she hasn't made them in years. i think they were maybe always especially for you, because you loved them so much. i can't promise anything directly made by her, but i think i could arrange something close. where are you staying?

tae: as long as there's no secret poltergeist theme, i'm all for finding another maze next year and seeing who gets scared first. unless you want to go ahead and admit that it'd be you and save yourself the embarrassment in person. 😉 i had no idea about the sequel 😳 and i plan on remaining ignorant about it, which i know you know. i remember how scared of chucky you were and how you'd pull me out of any department store that had dolls on display. it was really cute. me, dramatic? dying of heartbreak that you said that. you really don't cope well with hangovers. ):

tae: i try to stay a certain level of odd, just so you won't forget me. and that's the best compliment, since suggesting food and making sure other people are fed too might be my love language. there's a lot they still don't know, and that i'm glad about. although when my report card came back and they found out about the days i was absent for no reason, there was no way for me to avoid getting grounded. i definitely didn't say a word about when we had to hitch hike back. i didn't want it getting back to your dad and risking not being able to see you for a little while. "one of" your favorite people? don't make me die of heartbreak again, yeon. but... more seriously, i'm sorry. i'm sorry i didn't reach out sooner. and i'm sorry for the time that passed that way.

tae: deal. promise i'll get us home safely. oh, you went there, huh - i'm not even embarrassed, i still think the best way to parallel park is to drive another block and find a different park. it's nice to stretch my legs and walk a little extra distance. 🤷🏽

Lisa: IT's sooo good!

Lisa: Aww really? Yes I'm back in SK!

Lisa: We should meet up!

tae: thank you. 💛 that means a lot coming from you!

tae: we're still in california for a few more weeks for some shows.

lisa: i been listening to Snow Flower non stop, just so you know!

tae: really, you are? that makes me feel so honored, lisa. 🤩

Yeon: It's just been a while and I guess I got into my own head about it. I know how polite you were and didn't want you to say something just to be nice. Then again, I should know that you out of everyone wouldn't ever lie to me so that's a bad mistake on my part. How could I ever get sick of you? If anything, the party just reminded me of how much I missed being around you. It was nice.

Yeon: Just because you filled up my cup doesn't mean I had to drink it. God, I'm not a responsible drinker. am I? Luckily I can just wallow in self pity today. I have some promo in the next couple of days so hopefully I get over it quick. I'm never drinking again. Oh shit, hope you feel better. Remember to drink plenty of water to stay hydrated. Did you order anything good from room service? I need to eat but I think because I feel bad everything sounds awful.

Yeon: Cool, calm and collected? Tae, it's just the two of us now. No need for this act with me. You're still the guy who was so freaked out after watching Poltergeist, you phoned me at 3am just so you didn't have to sleep. Oh, I'm sorry. Didn't realise my grip was that tight. You're not too hurt, are you? Tell anyone about my terror, I'll kill you. No one can know I was scared of a stupid maze. That's just embarrassing. See, I was clearly just trying to add to your costume. I'm thoughtful like that. Is it bad that I haven't even changed out of the wine stained shirt from last night? I don't have the energy.

Yeon: You're right. I think if that happened to us now, we'd both freak out a lot more. Think you just suggested we should grab something to eat about five minutes later and we pretended it didn't happen. I still haven't told my parents about that. Think my mom might have died on the spot. Come on, like I'd ever let anything bad happen to you. I'm not Rose from Titanic. I mean it when I say I won't let go. By the way, I've tried staying away from you. Didn't like it very much.

Yeon: Oh, so I can say whatever I want about you but insulting your driving is where you draw the line? So sorry for offending you, Sir. Won't happen again. Don't try and shift the blame onto my pretty face. Don't you think I ever got distracted by you behind the wheel? We're lucky your reflexes were good. I'm kidding, Tae. I know you'd never intentionally put anyone in danger. Nice to hear your driving skills have improved though. Maybe one day I will get in a car with you again.

Yeon: We spent the majority of our lives together. We were bound to cause some chaos, right? Think my parents just grew accepting of the fact anything could happen when we were involved.

tae: you're right, people do say it a lot just to be nice. and i'll admit to being in my own head about things too, so don't worry if it had you second guessing. not a bad mistake, i could be a totally different person by now, right? but i promise i'm not. it was nice. i almost feel bad that i stole your company away from everyone else for the rest of the night.

tae: [typing...]

tae: i've missed you too. [erased]

tae: i missed being around you too.

tae: i'd believe you, but i think i've heard you say that too many times, yeony. i'm always bad at drinking water when i'm hungover. i'd rather just eat all the fried food, even though staying hydrated would be much better for me. but i'll try. i ordered everything good, including a burger and a sundae. now i'm wondering if anything in the world requires more patience than waiting on food you've ordered. maybe you could just try ordering a few things, because you might feel like it when it gets there?

tae: exactly, it's just us, so all the more reason for you to believe me. 😉 uhh, poltergeist is terrifying, i don't care how brave anyone is! nothing about that clown doll was okay!! i think it's amazing i haven't needed to call you every night since, but you still haven't told anyone, right? i might be exaggerating about your grip a bit, i'm fine. and it wasn't just a stupid maze, maybe it was a little scary. you still don't have the energy? please eat something and maybe try to have a cool shower, i think it'll help. really though, are you okay? is it bad?

tae: to be fair, i'd probably suggest the same thing even now, because it's never a wrong time to eat. i don't think my aunt ever told my mom either. sometimes what they don't know is for the best. i knew you wouldn't just let me freeze and sink to the bottom of the ocean like rose would. although i still don't think they both would've survived on the door. "i tried to stay away" sound like famous last words. but i'm glad you didn't like it, because i hated it too.

tae: wait, you can say a lot of things, but i don't remember agreeing to you getting to say /whatever/ you want. 😉 but yes, pretty much when my driving with my fast reflexes is nothing but the best. maybe they've improved, but we also get driven around so much these days that sometimes i wonder if i'll forget. it's just another way i feel like my life is really weird and distant from what it used to be sometimes.

He certainly did NOT help me, he laughed along with the rest of the class like the loser he is. Oh, fuck you for being prefect! Are you scaring yourself with your own sneezes?  Damn, you win. Hello, taehyung, and same, I bet we could’ve been besties.

wow, what an asshole - now i’m wishing the punch you spilled was all over him. i can’t help it, i was born this way. no scarring luckily, but i had a few painful bruises. both my forehead and my ego. besties in another life, i’ll take it. but just so you know, you seem far too smooth and cool to have awkward moments like that anymore.

That sounds better than going back to the cold. In Sweden we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving. So I was just heading home because it was time to do so. When I left it wasn’t that cold, I had also been in New York prior to LA, where a hoodie for me sufficed. Oh god, a sweatshirt promoting my city, that would be funny. I’d also have to take a picture of it and send it to my girlfriend if that had happened. 

i’ll be back to south korea with my family for christmas though, so it’ll be a shock after craving soft serves here all the time. would your girlfriend be entertained by you wearing stockholm merchandise? she’s probably not also from sweden then, right? 

Yeon: Can't lie, I was worried that you just said that to be nice but it's I'm really glad we bumped into each other too. I think that maybe the universe is trying to tell us something because I hadn't been planning on going either. Weird how this things happen, right?

Yeon: I have a raging headache and my eyes have fallen victim to the sun but nothing a good breakfast and rest can't fix. Are you really doing to complain? You were drinking that stuff like it was juice. I'll be surprised if you aren't drunk this time next week. Poor baby. A little bit of horror upset you this much?

Yeon: Oh please, don't try and play cool now Mr. Kim. Your yelling is imbedded in my mind. 😂 You just can't handle it like I can. 😎 Of course I remember it. I think my throat is still sore from the scream I let out. That was traumatic. My life flashed before my eyes and I blame you entirely. Thank you for not letting go of my hand by the way. Think I might have actually fallen if you had. Scariest moment of my life.

Yeon: Actually, maybe I take that back. Remember when you almost crashed the car we were in when we were late and trying to get to your aunt's anniversary dinner? That was the time I actually thought I was going to die. To this day I'm still not sure how you got a licence but I haven't trusted you to drive me anywhere since. Remind me to tell everyone I ever meet how horrible you are behind wheel.

tae: i'd never just say that to you if i didn't mean it, but i'm glad and relieved you feel that way too. and i'm glad you did decide to go after all. maybe it is. but either way, i hope you won't get sick of me if i make good on my promise to stay in touch?

tae: oh no, i feel partially responsible for filling up your cup so many times. do you have a lot on today, or can you have a big breakfast and crawl back into bed? i hope you can. i'm planning on staying in this hotel room until at least dinner, and i have room service coming that i'm way too excited for. you're right - i think i'm still drunk. but hopefully not this time next week or i might be fired.

tae: no way, not me. maybe you, but not me. i was cool, calm and collected in that maze, i just didn't want the actors to think i wasn't having fun. yeah right, miss jung! i'm still waiting to get the feeling back in my arms after you were grabbing them so tight. it didn't end up so bad that you completed my costume with the wine stain though. the blood was very fitting 😜 as much as you know better than anyone i like to imagine a different ending for vincent.

tae: my life flashed in front of my eyes too, but then i think we were so quick to brush it off because we were so young. hmm, you blaming me is fair. way too fair. i feel like everything that ever got us into trouble was either my idea or bad decision. maybe you should stay away? of course. thank you for not letting go of my hand either.

tae: ouch, i feel so attacked that you'd say i'm a bad driver! i'm pouting sooo hard right now. to be fair, it was an equally good save, and i was distracted by the pretty girl in the passenger seat. but joking aside - i'd drive more carefully with you or i guess anyone in the car now. i'd never want to put you in danger.

tae: i meant it when i said i was really glad we ran into each other last night. i almost didn't go because everything's been a little full on in the last two weeks, but i'm really glad i did.

tae: how were you this morning? i'm not sure what was in that punch. it was so sweet it could've been half vodka or gin and we wouldn't've noticed. not to mention the maze! my heart was still pounding when i got back to the hotel.

Of course I am! I love getting to be on tracks of friends and new groups. I haven’t said no anytime I’ve been asked. I can’t help but be modes and delighted. They probably are, maybe I should come bother your company one day and see if they’d want me featured on a BTS track just to see your reaction. They really are, I’ve gotten to work with a member of SHINee that I’m friends with and getting to record the song with him was a lot of fun. I get that, any time promotions or performances are finished, I always feel pretty sad about it. I just started collecting everything when I first got the game and have made many different things to help progress my island. I can help you if you want, I’m sure I can give you a bit of knowledge. You can, I’m going for cute but I know some people go for anything they can think of. You really can make your island anyway you want. I’m sure you’d have an island that would scream you when people visit it. Taehyung, my favorite Tae out there! We don’t need to tell Taeyong or Taemin that, I feel the two of them would be upset if I pushed them down on my favorite Tae list haha. I’ve been good, working away on more music like usual. How have you been besides gearing up for your concert dates and AMA performance?

i’d be working hard to keep my fanboying on the down low and at an acceptable level, of course. but otherwise, i think we’d have so much fun, so i’d never be opposed if it were up to me! oh, i was going to congratulate you on ‘hate that’ — it’s on more than one of my playlists, and i’ve listened to it a lot. i’ll take some help if you’re offering, and if you maybe feel you have the patience. i don’t know if it’s meant to be confusing or if i just played on a day i was mentally run down, but in the end i switched to playing pokemon. do you try to theme your island, then? and you can visit your friends’ islands, right? what’s the most unique one you’ve seen? i’m so honored to be number one on your favorite tae list. i won’t say a word. i’ll know it’s true deep down, but i wouldn’t want to upset taeyong or taemin. plus i’d need you to keep the secret that i think we’re the coolest tae duo of them all. i’m always glad to hear you’re working on new music! even if you probably can’t say anything about it yet? we were busy with rehearsals and meetings back in seoul, although jungkook and i did get the chance to escape for a big halloween party, which was fun. now that we’re all in los angeles we’ve been able to have some fun exploring and enjoying the food here.

george: we won't let that much time go by! at least we can keep each other in check on that. and you're one of mine, tae! you appreciate some nerdy humour, but you know i adore you even more for it.

george: true, i suppose if it were planned then it wouldn't fall in with chaos! either way, you know i'll always help you sort it and at least try not to laugh so much. you have to give me that credit.

george: i know, yet it always makes me sheepish when others point it out. i met her mum this past weekend and she teased us about it to no end. she's in yorkshire with me, that's where i'm filming currently. she lives in paris otherwise and that's not far away at all, thankfully. don't call me out, you know she pulled me through the maze because i wasn't going in there on my own. we survived though!! that counts for something. and yeah, we're friends! i feel silly not realising you two knew each other, though.

george: she told me a little, just that you two haven't really been in touch the last couple years or so? i'm sure you're not a terrible friend though, tae. unless there's more to this than you're telling me, but you could always try and be back in touch more regularly, you know?

tae: you have my word, especially when you're saying nice things about me!

tae: i do have to give you the credit and wouldn't doubt you for a second. you've always been helpful when i've needed to sort through things. you've got full permission to laugh at certain things, though. trust me, my other band members would want nothing more than to join you.

tae: i understand how that is. there's something about when it's their parents calling you out that makes you even more sheepish. but did it go well meeting her mom otherwise? it sounds like she must have taken to you. i always forget paris to england isn't such a long trip. but it's still a few hours each way, right? you know i had to call you out a little, but i approve of lily-rose even more for bringing out this daring side to you.