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The window was open. The nights were warmer, but it wasn't warm enough to keep the window open. Then again, a lot of things about Hari were odd, anyways. Aconite slid through the window.

The room was dark. It didn't matter to Aconite, but someone was in the room. That's... Odd. Aco poked at the heap under the covers.

A groan sounded.

"Hey. Hi. Hellooooo?"

No response.

It smacked with a wing.

"Hariiiiiiii I know you're in thereeeeee.."

The lump shook, now that Aco was looking properly.

"Hari?"

"...."

"Hari are you okay?"

Aco barely strained its ears enough to hear a small sob. Ah, shit. It moved the bedsheets slightly. Hari's eyes glazed over, and he held himself, shaking. Something was wrong.

"Hari. Hari, look at me. Hari?"

Hari wasn't wearing his overshirt. That's... Odd.

Aco looked at what Hari was holding so tightly. His upper arms. Why..?

Blood poured out of scars. Aco looked at the covering, finding it was also touched by blood. They put a hand to the stain, but the blood wasn't warm at all, despite having been pulled off. None of Hari was warm, actually.

"Hari, can you hear me?" Aco was shaking. This looked.. shit, none of this was good.

"Yes," Hari murmured absent-mindedly. "I'm fine."

"Hari, don't give me that bullshit, you're-"

"I'm fine," He repeated like a mantra. "I'm okay. You can go. I'm fine."

Aco clenched their fist, and used their other arm to hoist Hari up. He elicited no reaction, yet still drove his nails into his arm.

"Hari let go," Aco coaxed.

"I'm fine-"

"Hari. Let go."

"I'm okay, you can go, I'm-"

"Hari look at me."

Silence.

"I need you to look at me right now, Hari."

"....."

Aconite's voice noticeably raised. "Hari."

Hari shook more intensely. Was this bad? Or was he just trying to start moving.

"Hari!" Aco yelled, reverberating through the room.

Hari hiccuped.

"I'm sorry," He murmured, eyes still unfocused. "Please don't hurt me, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'll be good, I'll listen, mom please don't- please- I won't-"

....

He was fighting back tears, visibly. Blood dripped to the soiled white sheets, but still offering no warmth. Aconite was scared to say anything. What should they do? He was scared. He was so scared, it agonized the other.

Hari took a shaky breath. He dug his hands further into his arms, trying to rip out flesh.

Ah. That was an issue.

Aco brought their hands to Hari's, gently trying to remove them. Their hands touched the icy skin, and Hari near screamed.

"..Aconite? Aconite, what are you- Aconite get out!"

Hari dug his hands in harder by reflex.

Aco pushed their hands back to Hari's, and paused when a tear hit its own skin.

"Fuck, just- Aco please now is a terrible time, just get out, get out-"

"Are you fucking with me?? You expect me to leave when you need help? Why would I ever do that?"

Hari squirmed, trying to move back. "Aco, please," He begged, voice failing him. "Don't- Please don't-"

Hands attempted to lift Hari's fingers.

"Don't touch me!"

Aconite lifted their arms a bit. Hari was audibly hyperventilating, no longer looking at what little of Aconite his non-nocturnal self could see.

"Hari-"

"Please don't hurt me, please, please, I- I know I deserve it but I'll be better, I'll be perfect, just don't hurt me- I'm listening, I'm so sorry-"

"Listen to me."

A shaky sob escaped the boy's lips.

"I'm not going to hurt you. No one is going to hurt you ever again. Do you hear me?"

"Don't lie," He gasped out, "Don't promise me something not real."

"What's not real right now is the threat you're feeling. No one's hurting you. Please let your hands go. It will be okay."

Hari suddenly stiffened. He touched his face.

"Fuck- fuck, fuck, no, no- are you-?"

"What's wrong?"

"No, I'm not supposed to cry, I haven't learned-"

Aconite roughly grabbed the other.

"You are safe here. You are not there. You are here. With me. I need you to breathe."

Hari chewed the inside of his mouth.

"You can cry."

He hiccuped.

"You don't have to worry about me, or anyone else right now. You can cry."

As if a switch was flipped, Hari broke down. He broke into tears, and continued gripping himself. Aconite redirected his arms to theirs, and he squeezed Aco's hands like a lifeline.

They sat like that for a while. Blood still easing out of Hari's battered upper-arms, tears welling up and falling, as sorrow's crescendo always seems to go.

Hari quieted after an exhausting while of blubbering, struggling for words, and holding onto Aco like it would push him away.

He tried catching his breath. "I'm so, so sorry about this, you were never supposed to see me like-"

"Hari, stop."

"..."

"If you ever try to fucking apologize, I'll (metaphorically) kick your ass. Why didn't you get me?"

"Aconite, this isn't some huge thing, this-"

"Huge thing??? As if you weren't trying to rip out your arteries?"

"This has happened more times than I can count, and it's never been an issue-"

"More times than you can- Are you fucking serious?"

"I'm sorry," His voice began to waver once more, "I'm sorry, Please-"

"Did you never let anyone see you?"

"Not- No one other than Maru, and that's only when she happens to be here-"

"You would never get her?"

"No, I would never want to bother him-!"

"Do you seriously think you're a bother?"

"Yes! Yes, Aconite, I'm a fucking nuisance! Why do you keep dumping so much work onto me? How much funding have you even given me? How much have you given that you could have kept for yourself? I can't name a single time I've ever been anything close to a benefit to you, and I can't believ-"

Aconite lunged its hands to Hari's face.

"Don't you ever fucking say that. Don't. What, do you think all you are is just some project?"

Tears welled up in his eyes.

"Who would ever do that? Treat you like nothing? Like a fucking experiment?"

"My father," He choked out. "He left the moment I..."

Aconite froze.

"Where is he."

"Don't fucking do this, Aconite, he's long gone. No one was anything to him, not his wife, not his- certainly not his son- Nothing."

"He's long gone and you still fucking think he's out to get you?"

"...."

Aconite sighed. "I'm sorry. I know it's not easy to just... to just 'remember it's gone'. But- Hari, you went all this time- your whole life, and you told no one but Maru?"

"Maru was there," Hari said shakily. "The reason I di- I ran is because my mom tried killing her. I would have never bitten back under any other circumstance."

There was a dead silence.

"Aconite-?"

"What."

"Aconite, you- it- Your hands-"

Aco looked at their hands. Nothing was wrong with them.

"It burns."

"..."

Aconite paused. They slowly let go.

"Hari."

"..Yes?"

"Just let me help you, Hari."

"...Why?"

Aconite bit back a sob of their own. "Because I fucking love you, Hari. I care. I care so much. Just let me help you."

"Why?? What is there to love? I can't give you a thing back. You're wasting your-"

"Hari," Aco cautioned, "Fucking listen to me. I don't care if I 'dont get anything back'. I don't care. I care about you. Just let me fucking care. Just let me."

Hari's head hit the bedframe with a small 'thump'. He took yet another long, shaky, breath.

"What will it take to make you believe it?"

Hari blinked. "What?"

"To make you believe you aren't some waste."

"It's all I've ever known," He sighs.

"Doesn't it feel like shit? Don't you feel like shit? I want to make you feel better, you just need to let me. You need to understand you aren't a waste. You're not a burden, you aren't-"

"It doesn't matter if it feels bad or not. Anything feels comfortable if that's how it's always been."

"..."

"I'd be in agony either way. This would happen again, either way. Please, just don't waste what you have. You mean too much to throw your life away."

Aconite stood. Hari's eyes didn't even follow.

"You won't even listen to me. I'm getting Maru. And I'm telling her about what happened. And if you don't get your shit together about 'being a burden' I'm going to be so pissed. Do you hear me?"

"Yes."

There was a pause.

"..Yes, f- Aconite. I will."

Aconite hung in the doorway.

What?

What was Hari trying to say?

A plead? An insult?

Aconite closed the door. It didn't matter what Hari stopped himself from saying. Waiting wouldn't fix this.