your personal review of every fonacier. rate those annoying fuckers
A hater? Iβm afraid that we wonβt have as much in common as you may have hoped, because I amΒ quiteΒ the fan of that wonderful family.Β
But each to their own, I suppose. I wonβt deny theyβve got their troublemakers amongst them. But I do, truly, love the Fonaciers.Β
Now, how to rate themβ¦.Β
My beautiful wife Eloren is clearly a 9/10. I know, I know, itβs not exactley polite to say your partner isnβt perfect, but the fact that she can be a little difficult isβ¦ part of her charm!
itβs hard to say for Seir, given how Iβve never met him, but he feels like a 4/10 to me. No oneβs that perfect, but Iβll avoid rating him any lower because he did make my Eloren happy for some time.Β Β
Andromaliusβ¦ he was a fun one. 8/10. So eager to make himself the leader, as if he wasnβt as scared and unsure as the rest of them. He just couldnβt handle the responsibility. I made sure to drive that home during my time with him. It would have been enjoyable run into him again, if it werenβt forβ¦ well. Weβll get to her.Β
Calisto was enjoyable enoughβ¦ 7/10β¦ Itβs more a me problem than than anything to do with her. I got to her just after Flyne had gotten away, and I was a little on edge andβ¦. I really didnβt draw out the process as much as I wanted to. I didnβt play with her aspirations like I did with Stolas. There just wasnβt anythingβ¦ special I got to do with her. She was still quite delicious in the end though.
Oh, but on the subject of Stolas! 9-, well, lets say 8.5/10. Oh, I have worked some wonderful magic on my victims over the years, but that boy was one of my finest. The ones with imaginative minds build up such elborate fantasies. Oh, precious Stolas. I hope you get to dream as a ghost.Β
Flyne was funny. Clever, too. He pretended to be more funny and clever than he actually was. Those ones are always so fragile. He gave a wonderful chase, too.
A shame he was too quick for his own good. 6/10.
Peninnah.
β¦
1/10.Β
A hero in the making.
β¦
I hate heroes.
Beforeβ¦ learning some things about Beezlebubβs true fate, I would have been inclined to give her a 7.5/10. Nothing spectacular, but quite enjoyable to terrify. We never had our moment, but it was never meant to be our moment. it was meant to be Elorenβs.
β¦.But now sheβs turned up alive, and has become decidedly hero-like. So tragically, their ranking has fallen down to match that of their sister Pennyβ¦
I hope my insights have given you a greater appreciation for this family. You should try tormenting a group of relatives of your own! Maybe you can learn to appreciate the wonders of family like I have.Β Β