Luv urself

Oh I have many thoughts. In short: I agree with your vet. I’m really not a fan of shock collars, or really aversives in general. Here’s some excerpts from The Journal of Veterinary Behavior that summarizes why:

“More evidence of the risks linked to e-collar use comes from the scientific literature evaluating aversive methods in general. Indeed, punitive training methods induce higher risks of aggression (Beerda et al., 1998; Herron et al., 2009), fear, anxiety (Arhant et al., 2010), and undesirable behaviors (Blackwell et al., 2008) being shown, while decreasing the quality of the dog-owner relationship (Hiby et al., 2004), dog welfare, and dog-human team performance (Haverbeke et al., 2008) compared to nonaversive techniques. Negative emotional responses as a consequence of aversive techniques can lead to behavioral inhibition and can be detrimental for learning and performance of dogs, undermining the general purpose of training.”

Also: "When evaluating efficacy, no study shows a superior efficacy when comparing an e-collar to positive reinforcement training. Some survey-based studies conclude a superior efficacy of positive reinforcement training as perceived by owners (Hiby et al., 2004; Blackwell et al., 2012) or results below average for e-collar training when compared with any other training method (Arnott et al., 2014). One experimental study found no difference in efficacy, but a decrease in welfare when using e-collars (Cooper et al., 2014).”

Masson, Sylvia, et al. "Electronic training devices: Discussion on the pros and cons of their use in dogs as a basis for the position statement of the European Society of Veterinary Clinical Ethology." Journal of Veterinary Behavior 25 (2018): 71-75.

Honestly I could go on and on about the risk of aversive training methods, but that’s not really what you asked. Can a shock collar stop a dog from barking? Sure, but it doesn’t fix the root of the problem, and there can be serious negative consequences. Dogs bark for many different reasons, and a one size fits all plan doesn’t address that. One of the major issues people have with barking is dogs that bark when people/animals/things are outside. The problem with putting a shock collar on them is they can start to associate the shock with what they’re barking at.

The thing about barking, is that in a dogs mind, it’s really effective for making people go away. This isn’t the only reason dogs bark, but it’s an important reason to understand. They don’t know that delivery people are going to leave anyway, or that people on a walk are going to keep walking regardless of if the dog is there or not. They learn that barking = people go away. For dogs that are unsure about strangers, that’s a really powerful self-reinforcing behavior. Bark = scary thing leaves. Now, put a shock collar on that dog and they’re still scared, but now they’re also feeling physical pain when the scary thing is around. So yes, they might stop barking, but the fear is still there, and probably getting worse. This is especially dangerous because dogs might learn that bark = shock, so they go straight to growl, snarl, or bite. This is why punishing dogs for giving warnings is a bad idea; it doesn’t fix the problem, it just shuts down communication.

Or what if your dog is barking for attention? Again, you may stop the barking, but they may also build up a negative association with you, because in their mind, you are always there when they get hurt.

Other issues with shock collars are that dogs can become habituated to the shock. With positive punishment, the punishment has to be delivered within a very precise window, and it has to be exactly the right intensity that the dog isn’t overwhelmed, but that it is effective to stop the behavior. It’s really hard to do right, and the consequences can be very bad if you get it wrong. A problem with shock collars in particular is sometimes owners find that they have to increase the intensity because the dog stops reacting at lower levels. What happens when you get to the maximum level and the dog stops responding?

(2) Even since then, i have even been looking into the army's program haha. She had also said the reason the career wasn't for her was because of having to lose patients, and it is difficult for her mental health. I hope shadowing other vets will allow me to be sure that this is the career I would like to pursue. I kind of just wanted to talk about this with someone who is in vet school/going to be a vet since i don't personally know anyone. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Sorry it was long!

Unfortunately this is not an uncommon response for veterinarians. There’s a really high burnout rate in this profession. I have a very close friend that regrets going to vet school, but feels that it’s too late to leave now. Sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice too, this profession can be so draining. It can honestly be hard to know, but I would encourage you to keep shadowing, and to shadow as many different kinds of vets as possible (small animal, large animal, public sector, zoo, etc) to get an idea of what you like and don’t like. Try out other animal related careers as well. Think about why you want to go to vet school. If the answer is only because you love animals, or because you hate people, this is not the career for you. You have to love medicine, and be comfortable with communication and education. There are plenty of other animal-related careers out there that don’t require 8 years of school and $250,000.

Vet school is hard, in ways you can’t imagine until you’ve done it. I’ve been stretched to my limit more times than I can count, and I haven’t even graduated yet. I’ve been lucky that I found something that I’m truly passionate about, but there are days when I feel like I’m stuck in a black pit of despair. Being yelled at by strangers on the internet who think reading a journal article makes them more knowledgeable than your entire profession is draining. Having people you haven’t spoken to in 5 years message you out of the blue for advice and then ignore you when you beg them to take their obviously sick animal to a vet is draining. Being told you’re not a real doctor is draining. Long hours and low pay (no pay when you’re a senior student) is draining. Watching your colleagues be called crooked and incompetent while they are killing themselves at an alarming rate is draining. Feeling like you’ll never be good enough no matter what you do is draining. Watching your friends cry and fall apart from stress is draining. Yeah, euthanasia can be incredibly difficult, but at least for me, it hasn’t been the dominating factor affecting my mental health.

I’ve heard fairly commonly from vet school hopefuls that the army program is their plan for paying of debt, and it was my plan at one point as well. My advice is: don’t. Unless it is absolutely something you want to do, don’t pursue it just as a means to get rid of your debt. It’s fairly competitive, and a not insignificant time commitment. It’s also a very specific, narrow career path and not necessarily representative of what most vets want to do in their career. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve heard of army vets having amazing experiences, but it’s very different from private practice. If that’s what you want, great! But don’t throw yourself into something that you would hate just to get rid of your debt--that’s a good way to burn out even faster.

Some advice for if you do continue to pursue vet med: work on self-care now. Start seeing a therapist. Practice mindfulness exercises. Learn to recognize the signs of anxiety and depression. You will learn all the skills you need to in vet school, and if it’s really what you want to do, you’ll get in eventually. But 2nd year of vet school when you’re in a really dark place is a horrible time to try and learn appropriate self-care techniques. Trust me. Start now.

I feel like I know nothing. Well, at least a lot less than my classmates. Or a lot less than how much I should know. I keep forgetting basic things. Like really forgetting them, "can't recall untill someone tells the right answer" kind of forget.

Sometimes I think that I'm that kind of person who can do (and finish med school), with a lot of hard work and not the best but maybe average grades, but it's all for nothing. Should I even be here wasting everyone's time and resources?

This doubt is really eating away my motivation.

It will probably get better, but a small voice is always there - what if I'm not enough for this?

I'm not used to struggling with things, so I find it quite upsetting. Even worse at this point in the year when I'm really tired but also feeling the pressure of exams bearing down on me, and I'm applying for jobs (holy shit).

The short answer is, some of the studies are good, and some kind of suck but people quote them anyway. There are risks to spaying and neutering pets, but there are also a lot of benefits. Each species is also different. Risks and benefits for spaying a cat aren’t the same as neutering a dog. And don’t even get me started on exotics. What I have found incredibly interesting during my education is that we have talked A LOT about desexing–in theriogenology (repro medicine), oncology, surgery, and nutrition, and every single one had a different opinion on when/if animals should be desexed. So it’s all about weighing the pros and cons.

**These are statistics based on my theriogenology notes, which come from a boarded theriogenologist and their own research**

Female cats

Pros: Population control. Spaying also reduces the risk of mammary cancer, which is the 3rd most common tumor in cats (incidence 2.5%). The incidence is even more reduced when you spay before the first heat, as each heat cycle increases incidence. In cats, more than 90% of mammary tumors are malignant adenocarcinomas. You’re also reducing the incidence of uterine tumors, ovarian tumors, and pyometra. Cons: Surgical complications. Also, increased incidence of feline lower urinary tract disease (FLUTD), obesity, and diabetes (incidence 0.6% for FLUTD, 0.5% for DM).For me, this is an easy one: you are greatly reducing the risk of a highly malignant cancer, and increasing the risk of manageable conditions. The pros greatly outweigh the cons.

Male cats

Pros: Population control. Normal tom breeding behavior is also quite aggressive, and not super pleasant to live with (biting, spraying). Very simple surgical procedure. Cons: Increased risk of obesity.Another easy one for me. Unwanted cat populations are out of control, and there are absolutely no significant risks that we know of associated with castrating a male cat. Obesity can be controlled with diet and exercise. So there’s no reason not to neuter a male cat. It’s also an incredibly easy and fast surgery. Honestly, it’s barely a surgery.

Female dogs

Pros: Population control. Like cats, the incidence of mammary cancer in dogs increases significantly with every heat. Mammary cancer is the most common tumor of the female dog (incidence 3.4%). It is less malignant than in cats (~51% are malignant), but metastases are found more often than not in those cases, especially in the lungs. You also reduce the incidence of uterine cancer, ovarian cancer, and pyometra (incidence 15% by age 4, 23-24% by age 10). Mortality for pyometras ranges from 0-17%Cons: Complications of surgery. This next part is where a lot of the anti spay/neuter articles get their facts from: there seems to be an increased incidence of transitional cell carcinoma, hemangiosarcoma, lymphoma, osteosarcomas, and cutaneous mast cell tumors. There can be some serious mortality associated with these cancers, and this is a lot of the fuel for the anti-spay crowd. Here’s the thing though: the incidence is still quite low, and some of the studies that reported this were meh. Study sizes that were small, or breed focused, or just not reported well. That being said, those are deadly diseases, and there does seem to be some correlation between spaying and an increased incidence of these cancers that we don’t understand. So while it shouldn’t be brushed off, simplifying it to “spaying causes cancer” isn’t right either. Spaying is also associated with an increased incidence of cranial cruciate ligament (CCL) injuries, hip dysplasia, diabetes mellitus, obesity, urethral sphincter mechanism incompetence (USMI), and possibly reactivity in one breed (I think Springers but I’m not 100% sure). From the nutrition perspective, an animal’s metabolic needs are ~halved when they are spayed/neutered. This is true for both cats and dogs, males and females. There are concerns associated with cutting down the metabolic needs of a growing animal. The reason I’m specifically bringing this up with dogs is because we have dog breeds that grow to over 100, even 150lbs in 1-1.5 years. This is where things get a little muddier. You have an increased (though still low) incidence of deadly diseases if you do spay, but an increased incidence of a common and still sometimes deadly disease if you don’t spay. There are other curable morbidities associated with spaying as well, and certain breeds will be at even higher risk (CCL injuries and hip dysplasia). A lot more recommendations are coming out now to wait until skeletal maturity to spay or neuter a dog. If you are going to keep your female intact, keeping up on regular vet visits is important, as is watching for any lumps/bumps in the mammary chain and treating them as malignant until you can prove otherwise. And of course, understanding the canine reproductive cycle. In one study, 57% of people that owned an intact bitch had no idea that they cycled twice per year, and 56% of litters were unplanned. If your dog is going to remain intact, you need to be prepared to manage her to prevent unwanted litters. You have to be able to prevent intact dogs from getting to her when she’s in heat (and understand what “in heat” looks like). If you can’t do that, spay your dog.

Male dogs

 Pros: Population control. Males are able theoretically able to reproduce with many females every year, whereas females are limited to twice yearly (or once yearly for some breeds), so there is potentially an increased benefit for population control in castrating male dogs. Decreased incidence of testicular neoplasia and benign prostatic hypertrophy (BPH). BPH is extremely common, with an incidence of 75-80% in male dogs over age 6. Castration is considered curative. Mortality is very low for this disease. There have been some reports of increased lifepsan in neutered dogs, but it’s unclear if this is because neutering reduced “risky” behaviors associated with intact males like roaming, or because owners that neuter are often “invested” in their pets.Cons: Complications of surgery.  Once again, we see an increased risk of some pretty nasty cancers. Prostatic neoplasia, transitional cell carcinoma, osteosarcoma, hemagiosarcoma, and lymphoma. Again, those cancers are low incidence, but high mortality. When we have a neutered male dog with prostate disease, it is most likely prostatic neoplasia, whereas with intact male dogs it tends to be more likely BPH or prostatitis. We also see the same increase in CCL injuries and hip dysplasia that we see with females. Also muddier than cats, so you really need to take the individual into consideration. Can you keep your male dog contained? Male dogs have been known to climb fences to get to females in heat. Is this a breed that is already predisposed to CCL injuries or osteosarcoma? It’s worth noting that it is a myth that neutering makes a dog less aggressive. Neutering won’t fundamentally change a dog’s personality. Dog bite statistics tell us that intact male dogs are more likely to bite. This isn’t necessarily because intact dogs are “meaner”. What is more likely happening is that irresponsible owners are more likely to own an intact dog, because they don’t want to bother with neutering them. This does NOT mean that people that own intact dogs are automatically bad owners, but that statistically, bad owners are less likely to neuter their dogs (or provide vet care, or proper containment, etc). Intact dogs are also more likely to roam. It is that combination (lack of responsibility, inc likelihood to roam) that most likely makes intact males appear more often in bite statistics.

After several months of writing out posts and collaborating with the vet community on Tumblr, I am happy to say that my mini-series on how to get into vet school is complete! I hope it was helpful, and I hope this post will continue to get spread around so new batches of pre-vets can see what this process is all about! The following is a list of links that connect directly to all of those posts. Definitely check out all of the reblogs and comments from the rest of the vetblr community as well, they all have great advice to add! If you have any remaining concerns or questions past these posts, please feel free to message me! 

1) What to Major In During Undergrad

2) How to Pick an Undergrad University

3) One of the Most Important Things to Do in High School and Undergrad 

4) How to Obtain Veterinary Experience and How to Record it

5) A Sample 4 Year Undergrad Plan

6) How to Study in Undergrad/University

7) How Vet Schools Break Down Applications

8) What you Need to Know About GPA

9) What You Need to Know About Letters of Recommendation

10) How to Write a Personal Statement

11) What You Need to Know About the GRE

12) What No One Tells You About Applying to Vet School

13) Vet School Interview Tips

14) What You Shouldn’t Say or Do in an Vet School Interview

15) Popular Questions and Answers When Applying to Vet School

4:40 AM: Alarm screaming. I’m screaming. We are all screaming for coffee. 

4:45 AM: Stealthily grabbing clothes and dodging cats on our bed without waking up the hubby. 

4:46 AM: Forgot a sock. UGH

5:15 AM: Coffee gulped, dog let out to potty, clothes on, stethoscope in hand. 

5:30 AM: Arrive at work.  Sigh, because wouldn’t it be nice to arrive in the sunlight once? 

5:32 AM: Print out hospital list, time for cage side rounds to discuss each patient. 

6:14 AM: My head is spinning from the whirlwind of 20 + inpatient histories, diagnostics, and treatments being shoved rudely into my brain. 

6:30 AM: Do morning physicals. Avoid being pooped on. AWWWW YEAH!

7:03 AM: Organize, look at, and write on patient charts. 

7:30 AM: Wake up some owners with important patient update phone calls. 

8:20 AM: First outpatient of the day is here. Unable to pee cat. Here. We. Go!

8:40 AM: Place a urinary catheter in this cat while an actively seizing dog comes straight back to the treatment room. Start listing off drug doses for the seizure dog while I suture in this catheter. Oh, there’s an owner in room 7 that wants to talk to me too. 

9:10 AM: Come out of seizure dog room, there’s two dogs that ate chocolate in room 5, and a cat who has blue string coming out of his butt in room 3. 

10:00 AM: Try not to sigh as I’m asked “How old are you exactly? Can’t we ask for another vet, perhaps a male one?” in an exam room. 

10:25 AM: Hit by car rushed into the back. Check vitals, do diagnostics, stabilize. Looks like leg is broken, too. Surgery transfer tomorrow for this little one. 

11:00 AM: Go through treatment options of kidney failure from cancer in a cat with the sweetest people. They cry, and ask me what I would do if it was my cat. They cry again. Tissues and a soft, compassionate voice is all I can offer them, but I wish I could offer them more. 

12:05 PM: “Room 4 is ready.” I know that line. I grab the solution, I walk into a room with sobbing owners, and I guide them through one of the hardest decisions they will ever have to make. 

12:08 PM: I exit room 4, a little shaken. I get a hug from my tech, and then eat a granola bar as I look through the 16 pages of history for my next case that is having difficulty breathing. Has had a liver mass removed, and has chronic allergies, and has seizures, and the list goes on….

2:01 PM: Attack by dog brought to the back for bleeding excessively. Work on a sedation protocol and then go see a possible Parvo in room 11.

2:10 PM: Get screamed at for “being in it just for the money” even though I severely discounted the exam fee even though I wasn’t supposed to and gave them donated medications and fluids completely free of charge. 

3:00 PM: Finish up the laceration repair, work on some discharges and other medical notes. 

3:30 PM: Talk to owner regarding her heat stroke dog, not realizing until afterward that I still had blood on my shirt from the laceration repair. 

3:50 PM: DOA (dead on arrival) hit by car. I am pulled from a room into this one, which is full of disbelief, anger, and sadness. Their screaming follows me into the hallway.  

4:00 PM: I try to eat a little snack as I have time to stew over a mistake I made a few days ago. The nightmares at night are telling me that I’m not over it. I put down my snack.

4:10 PM: See an “emergency” rash on a dog. Owner also lifts shirt to show me her “emergency” rash as well. 

4:20 PM: Paperwork. 

5:30 PM: Become a little giddy. Only 30 minutes left until freedom!

5:55 PM: A dystocia (trouble giving birth) walks into the door. And there goes my chance to leave at a decent time. 

6:30 PM: The puppies aren’t coming, and ultrasound shows fetal distress. Time to kick it into high gear and get our butts into surgery. 

7:00 PM: It doesn’t matter that I’ve done it before. My palms are still sweaty, and I feel like I might puke. “Don’t mess this up, you bumbling idiot,” says the voice in my head.

7:20 PM: With shaking hands, I have the puppies out.  I try not to hope too much, but I hope they are okay as I suture up the Momma. 

8:00 PM: I walk out of surgery with bated breath. I hear squeaks as I round the corner, and I’m handed two pink and happy puppies. And I smile, perhaps for the first time in a while.  

9:00 PM: Leave work. 

9:20 PM: Kiss hubby, shove some fast food in my mouth while we chat about our cases from the day (he’s a vet too!)

- do more things that make you forget about your phone

- do not compare yourself to other people: trust that you are progressing in your own way

- keep your heart soft, remember that there are genuinely kind people & good things in the world

- finish what you start

- be consistent, and do not be swayed by temporary moods or criticisms from people who don’t matter.

- smile more often

- be okay with being bad at something

- do not blame yourself for people who make you feel unworthy. find new people to talk to and don’t isolate yourself even if you feel awkward or unlovable. don’t convince yourself that you’re better off alone.

- go outside more often and find beauty in small things

- read more books

- be the kindest person you can be

- be so busy you have no time to be bored or dwell on the past

- learn to be patient. don’t rely on instant gratification, wait for the sense of accomplishment after completing a daily goal or achieving a long-term goal

- see bad days as a chance to start again

One of our professional skills is ‘not being bitten by patients’

We actually have a good broad knowledge base for both surgical, medical, and GP things

We’re used to improvising equipment because a lot of stuff is just not made for animals

Meat safety is part of our training

Our cars are often full of equipment, especially in mixed practice

Yeah, different studies suggest veterinarians are 4-5 times more at risk of suicide than the general populace. (And vet nurses about 1.5x more at risk).

That’s not to say that other similar professions (doctors, dentists) aren’t under similar levels of stress, but as a profession veterinarians are very skilled at ending the life of patients painlessly, we can see situations where death is justified to end suffering, and if we see ourselves as suffering enough…

I’m pretty sure the majority of vets have at some point, though casually, thought about how they could or would end their own lives if they have to. That’s not just me, but talking to other vets too. Most of those ‘plans’ involve having a chronic illness, and perhaps the legalization of physician assisted suicide will impact those numbers.

We’re intelligent. We’re good at wearing different emotional masks. We’re perfectionists and take criticism to heart. We’re stubborn. We see death (rightfully, often) as a release.

We succeed when we make our mind up about this thing.

It’s probably been this bad for a long time though, we’re only now just talking about it. There’s a trend suggesting that older, male vets would do the deed by autocide - having a car crash- which made it look not really like a suicide, avoiding the stigma.

“Every Time”

Every time you say vets are money grubbing, or ‘too expensive’ or just in it for the money.

Every time you decline all diagnostics yet demand to know ‘what’s wrong with my pet’

Every time at a social function or other completely inappropriate place you find out that someone is a vet you ask them for free advice about your animal.

Every time you feel justified posting a shitty practice or vet review when everything was done according to the standard of care but your pet died anyway.

Every time YOUR lack of preventative care resulted in your pets early death yet you blame the veterinarian.

Every time she gets in early and stays late and works an 80 hour week because your pet that had been ill for days suddenly becomes an emergency at 5pm on a Friday and you demand to be seen – claiming these heartless vets won’t treat your baby.

Every time someone says ‘why didn’t you become a real doctor?’

Every time someone complains about the cost of veterinary care… comparing human medicine and insurance subsidies to pet ownership (totally voluntary btw).

Every time that someone doesn’t pay their bill and thinks that they are entitled not to because pet ownership is their ‘right’.

Every time someone walks in to a clinic and threatens to ‘sue your ass if you make one mistake with my baby’.

Every time a graduate vet looks at the hundreds of thousands of dollars in crippling debt and listens to clients driving Mercedes and bmws complain about the cost of a spay using good anesthetic care and adequate pain management.

Every time… You are part of the problem.

The problem is suicide in veterinarians. Most of us went to veterinary school because we care. We have a calling to care…. but there is a dark and expensive cost to compassion.

Think before you act or speak.

Getting children involved with pet care sounds like it should be a great idea, filled with warm and fuzzy memories and golden bonding moments. In practice, some parents come to regret this decision, as children say the darnedest things.

‘Ruby’ is a very common dog’s name. It’s short, sweet and easy to call.

So when I met ‘Ruby Flower’ I couldn’t help but remark on the unusual name. I thought it was cute.

“Yeah,” the client admitted with a tired sigh, “We let the kids name her. Her full name is actually Ruby Flower Starlight Starbright.”

At which point I was immediately compelled to change the dog’s name on the computer to her full, glorious name.

A few years later, I was introduced to their new dog. I asked, perhaps overly keenly, what name had been chosen for Ruby Flower Starlight Starbright’s new brother.

The owner sighed tiredly with resignation.

“The kids named him too.”

My fingers hovered over the keyboard, anticipating a mammoth name to type out.

“Greg.”