Election day: misery, stress, hair-pulling, at least for Americans (and a lot of other people around the world affected by our politics!) So I thought I'd post a distraction; I hope it helps and doesn't annoy!
A while ago I posted the beginning of a letter from Kit to Ty, created for a Kickstarter backer. Here's the full text:
A letter from Kit to Ty, never sent.
Your name looks strange written out like that. Like an abbreviation. But Tiberius would be so formal. I never think of you that way. Or, I suppose I should say, I never thought of you that way. Tenses matter in these situations, I guess.
Itâs late, past midnight, and Iâm sitting on the windowsill in my bedroom at Cirenworth. Jem and Tessa gave me one of the best rooms. Of course they did. It has a view out over the gardens. Sometimes I see the ghost of a dog there, a golden retriever Iâm pretty sure, running in and out of the flowerbeds. He seems like a pretty happy ghost. I think about how much you like animals and how much they love you, because of course they do. But itâs too late; this dog passed away a long time ago. You probably couldnât even see him. Itâs too late for a lot of things, now. Â
Iâm still mad at you, and I donât feel good about that. Maybe if I could forget, I could forgive. But I canât forget that night you brought Livvy back. Iâll suddenly remember even when Iâm thinking about something else. Iâll be in the middle of helping Tessa in the garden and suddenly Iâll turn around and Iâm back in Idris.Â
I remember I told you I loved you. I remember I told you I would help you, but not if you raised Livvy from the dead. Not if you did necromancy. But you wanted that more than you wanted me.
And I understand that. Iâm not angry about that. Hereâs what Iâm angry about: when you brought Livvy back, you changed yourself. You made yourself a different person than the one I loved. I donât know the person you are now. You took yourself away from me. I canât forgive that. And you made me someone who has to keep a secret I never wanted to keep. I was raised by someone who had so many awful secrets, and when I started my life as a Shadowhunter I wanted to do it openly, and honestly. But now Iâm just someone else with secrets I can never tell. Just like my dad.
It makes me angry, so angry. I want to yell at you. I wish you were here so I could yell at you.