happiness and heartaches

Until December last year, he was introduced by my cousin. Then January this year he pop up in my inbox, then there it started.

Got a year older.

Its been a rough year being twenty one; I doesn't know what i really want or how would i really start to live my in my own. It is hard when reality hits you so damn intently.

The transition phase is no longer enough for me [i think] because in the first place i don't know where the hell would i start. I kept asking myself "what do i really wanna do?" and can give a lot of answers put up my own small business, or work in a hotel.

But the second question is "Can i do it?" It is getting difficult for me way back because i don't believe in my self that i could it; and ofcourse the pressure around be is always there.

But few months later I got a job in a well-known hotel. The eagerness to work there but for real it shocked me, that the reality looked like that. It is stressing yet giving me life.

It's been months since I had this job somehow I am helping my family. I begun feeding myself by my own earned money. Not totally by my self cause my tita and mama is still supporting me with some of the bills. But somehow I am proud of what I am now because of what I have been through. I am taking lil tiny steps with the life i want to have years from now.

But still.. I don't know what i really want to do. I got a degree, job, a boyfriend a family to lean on whenever I feel down. The pressure is still kicking.

But... I have nothing to do with it, This is life. If it throws some lemons give them lemonade. I always need to be strong for my dreams, myself and my family. I should always believe in me.

He is already my past, but stil

He will always be part of me

He was and will be my only H