Irreplaceable Discomfort

Sketch of sanji with long hair

In relation to this post

Dear older sister, what had I done for you to glare at me like that?

I don't know if you remember, you know I don't.

We were so young and dumb when we started truthfully resenting each other. How you could have been able to say such things to me that I can never understand.

Was it something I did that caused is to be us? or would you still have hated me even if it wasn't for our consequences? Is it rooted in the deepest part of you?

I wonder what it would be like for you to spend just one day without my presence. Would it be a breath of fresh air? or the dread of everything you've said to me?

I hope when we move out and are oh so far from each other, you think about every horrible thing your done to me, because in the worst way, I know no amount of my grief can spend a second in your mind.

Sit down with a cold glass of water and wonder about the sheer recklessness of a teenager, the cruelty of an adult.

We've spewed poison at each other from the heat of the moment, aren't we both just terrible?

I can't understand you, and you can't begin to try to understand me.

Was it moms fault? Can we blame it on mom and forget about it?

We used to have so much fun. If only we could've stayed the same forever.

There might have been something along the way for us to fix each other, but we wouldn't have been able to find it, because you just happen to be you and I just happen to be me.

Maybe this exact time now, years ago, we're playing together with our dolls and what not, laughing and giggling, because your my sister and I love you.

I won't forgive your name in a million years.