Ironed Orchids

Call me Moby-Dick. Or just Moby, that's better. Yeah, I'm the White Whale, the dreaded Leviathan, or whatever the hell Ahab's christened me. People say I'm evil. I'm a ruthless killer with no regard for human life. Not exactly. It's not that simple. I'm an outcast from the other whales with no entertainment. That's why I go attack people. I'm bored and full of angst. At least I'm not a liar. Damn right I tore off Ahab's leg. Should've torn off the other one too, when I had the chance. The book is named for ME. Moby-Dick. That's ME, bitches. Not that punk-ass Ishmael kid who narrates the book like HE owns it. Since I'm the star, I'll tell you how the story really happened.

1995

1995

1995

1995

[Image description: screenshot of linked website. White background with Black font. There is a thin decorative border going around the text, interrupted by the date. Text as follows: 17 AUG 1995 Script

It used to be that if a client wanted something done in a week, it was considered a rush job, and he'd be lucky to get it. Now, with modems, faxes and car phones, everybody wants everything instantly! Improved technology just increases expectations. These machines don't make life easier - they make life more harassed. Six minutes to microwave this?? Who's got that kind of time?! If we wanted more leisure, we'd invent machines that do things LESS efficiently. Description

ctrl+f, obviously: search/find, will search a page/document for a word or phrase

ctrl+c / ctrl+v: copy/paste, highlight text and hit ctrl+c and it'll show up again when you hit ctrl+v

ctrl+x: cut, it does the same thing as ctrl+c but it deletes the text, again it'll show up when you hit ctrl+v

ctrl+z / ctrl+shift+z: undo/redo. ctrl+z will undo whatever you just typed, ctrl+shift+z will put it back.

ctrl+a: highlights all the text on a page. this one is a real unsung hero.

ctrl+p: print document.

ctrl+s, ctrl+shift+s: save, save as (for when you're working on a document or project that needs to be saved. note that i don't think ctrl+shift+s works on microsoft word anymore for some godforsaken reason)

also, if you're working with text and you press control while pressing the arrow keys, your cursor will jump from word to word instead of letter to letter. saves a lot of time if you're proofreading/formatting.

be sure to check individual programs and system settings to see what other shortcuts might be available to you. some people have mentioned ctrl+t opening a new tab in a browser, for example.