Ironed Orchids

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

Do not let your child suffer from spicy bananas!

I don’t get why min-maxing mindset language learners are so concerned about beginners learning “useless” vocabulary. That’s the fun stuff.

unfortunate truth of reality is that oftentimes 15 year olds will say/do/believe some stupid bullshit because they are 15 but telling them that they believe that because they are 15 is probably the most counterproductive thing in the entire universe

i remember being 15 and wanting literally nothing more than to be taken seriously and listened to and every thought and feeling i had was dismissed because i was a hormonal teenager. i was well aware at that point that a lot of the things i felt were probably because i was a kid, but that didnt make any of it less real, and being dismissed because of my age 1. did not help 2. did not make me feel better 3. made me angry at and untrustworthy of adults because they refused to listen to me. teenagers are people. kids are people. one of the only major things separating them from adults are experience and wisdom. they have like. you know. interiority

like in YOUR mind you may think youre being helpful by going 'well you're a kid, its not really a big deal, youre okay, youll get over it' but that does not register as "helpful affirmation that everything will turn out fine and the only reason im upset is because of something out of my control so its better to just try and come to terms with it" it registers as 'adult dismissing my real tangible problems and sadness and anger because of my age and inadvertently calling me stupid'

not to be like that but misgendering is still misgendering even if you think you know someone’s gender better than they do. because that’s the basis of literally all misgendering you don’t get a special pass because you’re Transing Them

People who think sheep are killed for their wool are so hilarious to me. Does your barber slit your throat whenever you get a haircut?? Are you a returning customer to Sweeney Todd? Lmao it grows back, fools.

This is completely ignoring the fact that the sheep's soul is stored in its wool. So sure, the body remains, but the spirit, the essence of the sheep, that's gone forever, and then as the wool regrows a new soul moves in.

What

Same for me, I get a new soul with every haircut. That's why my personality changes so much.

Tumblr citizenship means being completely unsure if the person posting about sheep souls is being 100% serious or is just taking the piss.

THEY TAKE THEIR PISS TOO?!?!?

Yup, stockpiling it in giant buckets to pour on the poor

My reading comprehension isn't that bad

They did used to soak wool in aged piss. Just a fun little wool history fact for you.

dont they still do? right @systlin? people still use piss for wool processing?

It's far from being the gayest thing about Hackers (1995) (an ostensibly heterosexual movie), but "their crime is curiosity" was a pretty gay tagline. Type of shit you'd put on the poster of a queer forbidden romance period piece.

gothic aesthetic save me

i do think theres something sad about how largely only the literature that's considered especially good or important is intentionally preserved. i want to read stuff that ancient people thought sucked enormous balls

I've spent a ridiculous amount of time on Project Gutenberg sifting through forgotten old fiction and lemme tell ya. a lot of that stuff sucks ass.

Tremendously comforting, really.

we really can’t overstate how damaging it has been to indoctrinate the public with the idea that if they let themselves eat as much as they want, they’ll eat too much. human bodies, when permitted over the long term to eat as much as they want, actually get really, really good at calibrating their hunger and satiety, and will over time eat exactly the right amount for themselves. the common conception of a balanced eater as a minimal or restrained eater is absolutely wrong. balanced eaters eat quite a lot (compared to diet cultural ideas about right intake amounts), and they do so consistently and permanently. healthy, balanced eating isn’t some tightrope walk, it’s a gigantic net of total permission to eat.

[image id: tags that read #the idea that hunans camt regulate our own needs desires & morals without the guidance of authority seems to be pretty popular… #hmm hope there’s no immense political or social implications to that concept! /end image id]

[Image ID: Tumblr reply from kinsdura reading: id die for moritmer /End ID]

what doesn't kill you gives you an extensive vocabulary and niche knowledge set that nevertheless fails to accurately account for what happened

[ID: Tweet by daz @/MetamateDaz reading: Gen Z does not understand that the economy used to be so good that if you had a roommate people genuinely thought you might be gay. End ID]

genuinely I'm so sick of people wanting all fiction to be ethical. can we all just get a little gross with it. the point of fiction is that it's not real. we can be unethical in fiction; same goes with being perverted with fiction, being unrealistic with fiction, and being grotesque with fiction. not all fiction has to be ethical, not every character has to be ethical, and that's okay. can we stop with the puritanism. be gross. be unrealistic. be whatever. if I don't like it it's not my business as long as we're all clear that its fictional.