Iris

peace of mind

happiness

positivity

self love

success

motivation

luck

healing

affection

confidence

blessings

creativity

wisdom

My bestfriend of 10 years loves it, but I always told him I prefer sunrises.

Maybe it's the idea of endings, as the sun bids goodbye through the horizon. The vibrancy and energy of people and places from the daily motions slowly fades into the dim evening. Maybe, it's because I've always hated goodbyes, and my therapist would probably remind me it's from my abandonment issues as a child.

But, for some reason I still cannot figure out, the sunsets from this place I fondly call my ocean home never caused me any anxiety. If anything, it has always brought me peace - the safe and calm kind. It's the only place and moment where the violent and loud tsunamis inside of me comes to a smooth, tranquil rest.

PANATAG

• adj. tranquil, peaceful, at peace; self assurance

When I hurt so, so, so much, I take refuge in these moments. In my pensive, I draw them out and re-live it one by one: the sound of the waves crashing gently on the shore, the smell of salt water and the cold breeze brushing my shoulders and legs, the wonderful colors at the horizon, the distant sounds of life from the nearby houses, the glimmer of lights from the land across, and the unfamiliar warmth of my fingertips finally free from the dots of anxiety it always holds.

There will be better days. I'll hold on to these moments as I wait on the next. Until then, I'll keep fighting for the will to keep living.