treacherous @irisabbott-blog - Tumblr Blog

okdanielrusso

To be honest, I figured you’d have no idea what the hell I was quoting.

irisabbott-blog

Do you think all old people just lock themselves in their homes to knit and complain about “you damn kids”?

#she used to run a fandom account duh

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okdarcy:

….wh-what the hell was that…

Probably the 20 mile per hour winds. But you know, that’s just a logical guess.

okdanielrusso:

Why the fuck you lying? Why you always lying.

Oh my god, stop fucking lying.

#OK JESS SAME #this is such an un-iris thing but i could not resist #MMMOOOH MY GOD STOP FUCKING LYING

nico-j-churchill:

24. Act like it huh? Well please do tell. How do I do that? Downgrade everything that comes out of your mouth and keep wishing you care? Like you do me? Because that 2 dimensional personality of yours must go over well at parties and keep long relationships. You win, oh master of degradation and diva of cute button noses. Show me your ways.

Two dimensional personality.

hayaminiki:

Damn, rude. I just thought you were rich or something.

Never said I wasn’t.

#iris is like damn bitch y u laughin

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wtftroye:

I don’t know! I thought it was just sent to the wrong address!

Oh gods, I don’t want to think about it. I better, I worked hard to maintain this shape.

Did you throw it out?

Oh, fuck off. You’re naturally slim. Have you ever actually worked out?

#'oh fuck off' iris says affectionately

shhhalex:

You’re right. I’m actually 632 years old.

You think you would’ve acquired enough money over the years so you wouldn’t have to work at a restaurant.

nico-j-churchill:

And she chooses the nickname the Diva with the cute button nose. SCORE!!!

HAHAHAHA. Mutt huh? Well your fancy nose with your AKC prissy poodle papers with the hound dog nose can shove it. You’re just jealous I’m one of those new fangled breeds. We have cooler breed names. I mean, you think I can’t go and hang out with all the Chiweenies, cockapoos, and labradoodles? I know you aint dissing the puggaweenies. That’s mah gang right there. My bros.

Jesus Christ, are you twelve? I can’t even speak to you until you act like your IQ is over ninety.

wtftroye:

–that was you?!

I’ve been too busy making him get food for me.

Really, Troye? Who else would send you a bondage set?

Imagine how fucking big your feet are going to get. You’re lucky that you’re naturally slim. You’ll drop that weight faster than fuck after the pregnancy.

#who else would send you a bondage set lmao i'm honestly laughing at myself rn

shhhalex:

Really? Alright, a spoonful of sugar really doesn’t help the medicine go down if I do say so myself.

You’re not nineteen.

#gif didn''t work #i tried

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wtftroye:

But….. but you missed my wedding.

Besides, we haven’t thought of any names yet.

I had...things to take care of. I sent you that blender in the mail-- and the bondage set.

Isn’t that the most important part?

#yeah iris wasn't there #oops

roxy–jones:

Why’d you ask in the first place then?

You really haven’t heard of a rhetorical question?

shhhalex:

Yes. I’m nineteen.

Yeah, and I’m Mary fucking Poppins.

#omg alex #the name #my irl bf #iris's deaf ex bf lol #DEAD NOT DEAF

wtftroye:

Hey, yo, guess what…

Yeah, and? Tell me you’re naming the fucking kid after me or I’m leaving.

nico-j-churchill:

That’s okay. I still got to look at it as you looked at me. It’s seriously a win-win situation for me. But, you still seem to be under the delusion I care about name calling as if I’m a 5 year old, or could possibly have low enough self esteem to rattle. Yeah, not happening here.

But, I like the pet name. Insignificant. Sounds kinda long and proper. I’ll let you call me Siggy for short. Or Papa Insignificant if you ever got to know me. But, if you do I’m calling you Ice Princess and if you don’t, I’m calling you the Diva with the cute button nose. Your choice.

Unfortunate.

I don’t plan on ever getting to know you or calling you by any nickname-- or even speaking to you at all after today. Someone like me doesn’t associate with someone like you. You see, you’re a mutt. Or at least that’s what my cute button nose tells me. I don’t waste time with things below me. So, shoo. I’ve got things to do.

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ollliverrr:

–okay? Glad we had this conversation, Iris.

Always such a pleasure, Oliver.

hayaminiki:

Nope, not at all.

Then don’t waste your time or, more importantly, mine.

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