I know it’s been awhile since I’ve been on social media and since I’ve said anything regarding my health. My health really required a different drive and it took everything out of me to even get here. For so long I was on autopilot, just trying to survive and battle through the rigorous treatments. Unfortunately since mycobacterium abscesses complex non-tuberculosis doesn’t have a cure, it’s been continuous clinical trials that have been trial and error. This comes with a lot of adverse reactions and challenges. I am thankful that the doctors at the hospital have been trying to figure it out as well as treat my thyroid, glucose, pancreas, and everything in between. Needless to say all of this has genuinely been so overwhelming and anxiety filled, but I am trying my absolute best to get up everyday and fight my best fight. I am thankful every single day that I still get to wake up and have a fighting chance regardless of any statistics that have been thrown my way.
First and foremost, I am so beyond sorry for going MIA and completely shutting down. I have always isolated myself when everything got too overwhelming because I didn’t want anyone else to have to deal with it. However, I am giving it my best shot to unlearn that and let all of you guys in. It’s never been a lack of care and I am deeply sorry if it has come off that way! All of the uncertainty with my health has brought me a great deal of anxiety. From the anxiety attacks, to my vitals crashing, and everything in between, it has been beyond difficult. I have been putting in a lot of work to do a ton of healing and I have been learning so much each and every single day. As I am still facing these countless health challenges, I thought I had finally hit rock bottom. Little did I know how much I was truly about to face. I had the absolute wind knocked out of me. I lost my world and lifeline in human form, my person, my one only, my dada. This has been hands down one of the most difficult times of my life, but I am continuously fighting and figuring out how to best navigate through it all, in order to be at my best! One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that it really isn’t about the cards I’ve been dealt at this point, because I can’t change that. It’s all about how I best move forward and play the hand I’ve been dealt. With my whole entire heart, thank you all so much for never giving up on me, for always checking in on me, for praying for me, for donating to the treatment plan that is still researching to try and best save my life and give me a chance at living my life fully, and for loving on me and supporting me unconditionally! Near or far, big or small, text, call, or in person, thank you from my entire core, for genuinely showing up for me during some of my darkest hours. Here’s to healing and finding the light again. As a lot of people have requested, I am finally happy to say that I am ready to slowly start sharing more of my journey of the fight for my life. I will be taking baby steps, but I will start and be open as best as I can! I am also working on getting back to everyone because it’s so important to me that I express my gratitude for everything! Thank you so much for your understanding through it all! I just ask that everyone please continues to be patient with me, as this is still one of the toughest things for me to even go through, let alone share with the world, and talk about. Thank you guys a million for joining me in battling one of my greatest fights! I am really looking forward to sharing more as I continue to heal through the chaos that this illness has brought. Please let me know if any of you have any questions or anything specific that you’d like for me to share! Here’s to giving it my best fight. Here’s to facing all my fears. Here’s to living la vida loca as fully and as best as I possibly can!
Thank you all for every single thing, I can’t say it enough, I am beyond thankful for all the unconditional love and support, as well as each and every single one of you!
izzy806
titsay
gummygunk
tangentwithtanner
