iPeed

God I love peeing on lamp posts, and fire hydrants

I was an Olympian you know, swimming, had to doggie paddle of course, came last :/

Just got served my divorce papers, talk about a "bruh moment" am I right, gamers?

She egg on my noodle till I'm fried :/

I exclusively watch movies that I've verified on doesthedogdie

I relate to the MC of Postal 2, not because I view human life as worthless, but because I too have been charged with indecent exposure while sprinting around town after pissing on a dead dog and forgetting to zip my fly

I'm trying to strangle this Labradoodle and my hands keep slipping off of its silky smooth coat, infuriating

Can't stop thinking about sinking my teeth into another dogs throat