Hi! I’m A Human Being

Mix nail polish remover with your color of choice to make it harden in just a few minutes.

But lack of malice doesn’t mean a perfect parting. And though you’re unlikely to ever see this, let alone connect it to me, I’m going to say all the things I wanted to say to you before you left.

When we talked a week past, you said you thought I would fight harder for our relationship. But you asked to leave, my dear, and my love for you fills my being so, I could never refuse you anything you asked of me. You stole the right to fight from me when you said that we should split.

I’m reminded of a phrase my grandmother told me, and wish I’d said as much to you.

‘Cha bhi thu mallaichte le anail mo bhàis’

‘You shall not be cursed with the breath of my death.’

I could never hate you my love. Nor curse your name or what you’ve taught me. Only miss you.

I know that eventually I’ll love another and experience happy partnership again. But hear me when I say that, years from now, when I’m loving someone else and trying to commit, if you came to me and asked me to be yours again, I’d at least have to think about it.

I hate to think that such is true, but I can honestly say that I will love you more than all my future sweethearts.

But I do not wish knowing this would change your mind. Only enlighten you, to the extent that you have consumed my soul my dear. I forgave you for any wrong you could ever do me before I even called you mine.

This song arouses me upon hearing it. Like just immediately HORNY. Ready to jump someone’s bones.

And in noticing yourself, you learn the ultimate kind of control. You connect dots about your entire psyche to the point that you can not only isolate and avoid the things you know cause your entire existence to collapse, but also recreate and soak yourself in self-made environments that cause your overall peace and happiness to envelop you.

That is when you notice yourself.

When you change the music and the lights to an atmosphere you know will evoke a certain reaction in your brain so you can complete a specific task.

You’ll notice yourself then.

When you turn off the tv and peruse your bookshelf because you actually WANT to and the idea of watching that screen a moment longer makes you sick.

You’ll notice yourself.

Not your physical form, or the way that you move. You. YOU.

Every tiny atomic particle that makes you YOU.

You will begin to connect to the world around you in ways you could never imagine. Your mind will start to chase things again. Like when you were a child and couldn’t stop intaking information for the joy of it.

That’s what happens when you live alone. And then you realize that the only reason it took YOU so long to learn this is because no one in your life took the time to be alone and learn to be so wholly themself that they never questioned how to treat another person or how to raise one. They just KNEW.

Nobody did it.

Because they were so scared of being alone. But let me tell you something…

Not like depression and/or stress driven…More curiosity?

Like I have done a lot of things while alive and mentally I’m at peace with myself so like if I died it wouldn’t be like I was missing out on some kind of growth.

And I just wanna know if my  consciousness will continue and if it doesn’t that’s okay?

And if there is a continuation of consciousness, isn’t it exciting to think about all the things you’ll learn there?