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there is no why

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like i hate you lowk and you're not apart of my crew if i don't see you hurt for me life just ain't built painlessly for me to share something like that with you

#can't share pain can't process suffering with me like you aren't fully there

i'm just so disgusted with who i've let into my life sometimes

fire and acid at the bottom of his belly stand up straight and hold onto it

my talent is feeling like shit and no one giving a fuck and talking about themselves

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mm i don't want to sit in hours of silence at the moment

with everything going on i want to spend time feeling more engaged with tasks or activities

when i say i miss you i like spending time with you. i like sharing an activity. idle time spent where it's your company can be nice but i haven't been liking it much recently.

it's not fair no. i'm really sick and i've been moving people out and doing funeral arrangements and taking my sister to the hospital and going through really rough physical testing since like december.

i was worried about that yea. you get claustrophobic. youve told me if there's anything to help i'd tell you, but some of these things i ask may not work for you, like playing games and such. it's, not my problem if you don't want to do them, i do my best not to emotionally rely on you solely so it's not a worry.

i just don't want to do the hours of silence anymore i suppose. whether it suits your schedule is up to your judgement but please take care of yourself and your workflow first

ugh

1!!!!! i love people like i love the blunt i only take it when i need it!!!! why does everyone operate better that way! i want to possess you!!!

remember when i was 14? remember when i fucked you ??!!! remember ow these horomones never change and ill be born again and again and again?? stupid fucking world we live in

defense mechanisms to the fucking brim, my hardwares suffering from it all. steady beat of hunting you down, i know if you and all your family burnt alive, me and my sick hands will still be here. im d isgusted i was touched by you, is there any other way to get rid of you. just my luck- maybe i could kill myself. LOL. i kinda want to talk to you again. tell me how i make you sensitive. howd you remeber me hurting you? stutter for me? i always thought that was a treat when we knew each other :)

#words

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i dont know, is everyone following in your footsteps? even my eyes are exhaling, i drown in cough syrup just for another night not practicing the swing of my knife, i know you so well, im probably the only one who does, im the only one who remembers now, why did you do this to me. no one deserves to evenbe touched by you.

i dont know. it all blends together. theres a sink in my head. someone finish the job. oh god, someone finish the job, i feel like the only thing that can love me the way i want to be is a hungering tiger.all i can do i keep my eyes unfocussed. i cant keep looking i cant keep remembering

fucking summer again, huh?

just get this tension out of me cant you see nothing is vital

i dont want to eat again, i dont need to want aagain running feels idle. i keep seeing your eyes in everything, they arent circles anymore.

stop showing up in my dreams. i think the next time, ill really kill you. i wont let you get past me again.

weve dedicated ourselves to this march and if i hear you breathe out of line, i swear to god, just one more step, i will turn around and sew every single molecule of you to my own and we can finally kill ourselves together. god, no one deserves to see us. if i have to see my mothers disappointed face one more time, you wont live with it, i wont let you, i cant take this all anymore, the tension you give me in my chest, it felt so warm to have a heart beat for mine, and now i cant take it out. it faded over time and i didnt notice. i hate what youve done to me by xisting i know you love my hatred for you. i just dont think i can wait for this all tobe over.

#words

shanti sanskrit i gotta learn

you say that like i'll fall asleep

no. i did see a doctor and it's chronic and not chemical. i can take nyquil if i really need to

they said of it takes me more than an hour to sleep then based on my history it's fine if i get up and work.

from ten years of my medical history. yes

i have rent and medical bills and siblings in school who need help. are you asking because you care or is this an insult

i have insomnia

if i do nothing but work and go to school all day and i don't sleep when i lay down for an hour then im wasting time

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be proud of the america you promote or have an answer

no, how do i ask you something complicated? i can't make you like heavy conversation. it's something i like. i crave it for days on end sometimes. then what should i do for you?

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