Afterglow

every 4th of july I think about the american tourist who was like oh thank god you’re open I wasn’t sure if you’d be open today and I was like why wouldn’t we be and he said because of the holiday. in norway.

my family has had some pretty interesting encounters with psychics/mediums that seem genuine in the past, but nothing will ever be funnier to me than the last guy my mom talked to who was so definitely bullshitting, because she said "I was hoping to hear from my husband" and the guy went "he said....it's okay to Move On" and like. every single person my mom has recounted this too has been like "He Would Not Fucking Say That". as if this was an ooc fanfic about my father. it's just so fucking funny. fake psychic dude take your shitty headcanons about my ghost dad and LEAVE!!!

like, my parents were legitimately insane about each other. I cannot stress how much he wouldn't say that. I have to assume his ghost was standing right next to this fake psychic yelling "WHAT THE FUCK!!!!" when he told my mom to move on lmfao

actually. funnier to imagine he was a Real Psychic who was just trying to put a move on my mom and didn't think the ghost would do anything about it and now is now dealing with a violently angry haunting for the rest of his days lmfao

Psychic: I also choose this guy’s still-alive wife.

hey bestie i think ur post might be charmed 'cause you aren't gonna fuckin believe what happened today

a good fan edit will change how to you listen a certain song forever

i don't have romantic or sexual fantasies about famous people but i do sometimes indulge in daydreams about chance encounters that lead to us developing a sincere and lasting friendship based on mutual trust and respect and shared interests/compatible personality traits which i think is significantly more embarrassing

Books are so cool because there are no fucking ads in them

alright get the suzanne rivecca quote

it has to be perfect. it has to be irreproachable in every way. to make up for it. to make up for the fact that it’s me.

it’s so magical and beautiful that there are sprawling interconnected cave systems carved deep into the earth by various geological forces and you don’t have to go in them. there are miles and miles of stone passageways in total darkness that require you to exhale all the air out of your lungs to squeeze through parts of them and you don’t have to be there. some of these squeezes are underwater and require cave divers to take off their oxygen tanks and push them through ahead of them and me i am above ground looking at the sky as we speak. there are untold subterranean wonders no human has ever seen and i will not be the one to discover them #grateful #blessed

hey (with the intention of making you go to the bookstore with me)

also if someone gave me their number on a friendship bracelet at the eras tour id fucking fold for them. id become so obsessed with them. id go home and listen to enchanted 500 times