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@intcrdire
hello i have not been here in a v long time but if i get back into writing itâll be here

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intcrdire:
iâm not dead i just dont want to be here
dear @expoir
and so my lil baby angel is 22. happy birthday to my best friend in the entire world. though might be on the other side of the world (and asleep), iâm partying with you from straya. i cant even keep track of how long weâve been friends for now but i feel weird when weâre not talking and i dont know what to do with my life. i hope you have the best day and you get so spoiled and i love you so much. happy birthday baby girl!!!
centerfoldcorpses replied to your post âiâm not dead i just dont want to be hereâ
big mood
couldnât give a fuck about this blog or anything on it rn hey just looking at it pisses me off
iâm not dead i just dont want to be here

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Song to Song (2017) Directed by Terrence Malick
⪠TEXT ⍠Ⱐ*シďžalaska đ
fiona: i miss ur dumb ass
fiona: i bought a building
alaska: i know u do
alaska: why the fuck did you buy a building

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⪠TEXT ⍠Ⱐ*ď˝Ľďž kian đ
fiona: got married
fiona: with a fake ID
fiona: to a girl he's known for two weeks
fiona: i think she lives with us now
kian: right
kian: i'll get him divorced then
kian: and she'll be moving the fuck out
brutedivine:
     â oliver fucking stevens, i swear to god. get down from the table. â mickey says, an exasperated sigh pushing past his lips as he rubs at his temples gently. â if you fall and hurt yourself, i will drag your sorry ass to the ER and leave you there all by yourself. â itâs a bold faced lie, but ollie doesnât need to know that.
    â mikhailo fucking milkovich, make me. â one day ollie will stop being a little shit, but today was not that day. he laughs softly, jumping off the table before he moves to sit in mickeyâs lap. â you wouldnât do that, baby, you love me too much. youâre so in love with me because iâm so damn cute. âÂ
⪠TEXT ⍠Ⱐ*ď˝Ľďž kian đ
fiona: so carl got married
kian: carl did what now
⪠TEXT ⍠Ⱐ*シďžalaska đ
fiona: can we get drunk today
fiona: i feel like i haven't seen you in eight years
fiona: are you dead
alaska: yes
alaska: it's been 97 years
alaska: yes rip alaska
brutedivine:
      â youâre not a shit dad, cody. and iâd say youâre a tolerable person, too. â mandy hums in response, a kind smile spreading across her features as she carefully turns his head to side to tend to a cut on his forehead. his words are enough to bring back unpleasant memories of her own ; memories of  terry , of all his awful friends. â is she ââ is she okay ? â
     â wow, thank you, youâre so sweet. â cody rolls his eyes at her, letting her tilt his head to get at the cut on his forehead. he knows mandyâs been through some shit, heâs heard lip mention it a few times in passing. he doesnât know what to say about it, so he doesnât say anything at all about it. â yeah, sheâs fine, still a little bitch. i think she has a boyfriend. â

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expoir:
âyeah, pretty much. but it was nice, âcause we had a chat about our days and they were happy and cute. are you really gonna stand there and act like youâre not all clingy with me, darlinâ? âcause, you know, i think we both know youâre a clingy little bitch, too. your words.â emmett didnât even think he had ever been this happy. he had spent so long focusing on his career that his love life had taken a backseat. dreaming about making his parents proud and keeping his sister safe and happy had been all emmett had focused on for so much of his life. he almost let lara slip through his fingers until he realised how long it had been since he had let somebody control him and love take over him and consume him entirely. he was thankful he had taken the leap to be with her. âyeah, but thatâs nothing new. my dick always gets hard for you. and this tight ass? you know it happens quickly. everything about you turns me on beyond belief. your eyes, your mouth, your fingers, your brain. you are a beautiful, soulful, loving, kind, generous, intelligent, hard-working person. iâve never been so happy to have met anybody. meeting you changed my damn life. we met in a really bad time for you and iâm glad i was there to take care of you and bring you back to who you should be.â emmett brushed his fingertips over laraâs cheekbone and pressed a kiss to her nose. âi love you, angel.â
âoh yeah, i love being a clingy little bitch with you, youâre the cuddliest little shit.â lara had met emmett at the worst time in her life, everything had been going wrong, drew was gone and she didnât know how to handle that. in the past, she was convinced drew had been the love of her life, but sheâd been wrong. sure, drew had been a very big part of her life, but he wasnât the love of her life, sheâd only just found him. thinking back on it, sheâd never been as happy as she was with emmett; no past relationship, nothing made her as happy as emmett did. the thought of her nearly pushing him away like she did killed her now, she had no idea where sheâd be without him, probably living on peteâs couch just like her brother. there was nothing else to it, lara was completely in love with emmett and she wanted him forever now. âdamn, baby, that was so smooth. so romantic. so sweet. you saved my life, baby, changed everything with your cute ass. i love you. iâm so fucking in love with you, baby.â
expoir:
kyan didnât know what he was supposed to do or say in regards to all of this. he hadnât really been with roman long enough to even find out that he had a brother, let alone that he was presumed dead due to the time frame in which he had been unheard from. he certainly felt a little awkward about all of this, so he couldnât even begin to imagine how reuben and roman felt. all he knew was that layla probably wouldnât react all that well to finding out that he was actually okay and had been able to talk to them this entire time and hadnât. he felt like jack did on this topic and really didnât want it to happen. then again. he had no right to say no nor did he have a leg to stand on if he decided to say anything against it. âi think iâm mostly just awkward âcause iâve seen a couple of your videos. not the greatest feeling to know my boyfriendâs brother has been a source of material for a boner in the past, so.â why did he even speak? âyeah, well, i love him, so. iâm glad to make him happy.âÂ
reuben wasnât surprised that roman hadnât mentioned him to his boyfriend, it had been a long time since heâd been around and he probably just wanted to move on from the past. thatâs what ben wanted himself, itâs why he left in the first place, maybe not contacting his family wasnât the best idea heâs ever had but at the time, it was a good idea. though a quick google of romanâs name wouldâve listed reuben as his brother. moving across country at seventeen and getting into the porn industry was the best and worst thing that ever happened to him, he got the break from the fame and the cameras that heâd always wanted but heâd lost his family in the process. âdonât worry, everyones seen my videos, between me and my boyfriend, weâve made a lot, they get around a lot. seen a billion photos of him with a billion different people from the paps, but he looked different with you. looked happy for the first time in a long time. had that dopey ass grin he used to have before it all went down. was nice to see.â