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if i look back, i am lost
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David Suzuki, from this video.

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1/28/2021
Am I not one who will grow old in happiness? The agony that grasps my heart seems the only thing that it senses anymore. Fervancy. Compulsion to speak that which I feel has some answer to the questions: "What is the path? Why are we here?" And yet the echo continues, screaming for all that I have lost and all that I have yet to lose. Where is the succor of life that used to yield itself to me? The flash of light that bursts my charred flesh, breaking away to reveal pale purity. Will it come again? Or will I be left to drown in darkness, the neuronal fire consuming me until my last breathe is only in defiance of a life filled with suffering? To say, at least: "I tried!"
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“Dreams, memories, the sacred–they are all alike in that they are beyond our grasp. Once we are even marginally separated from what we can touch, the object is sanctified; it acquires the beauty of the unattainable, the quality of the miraculous. Everything, really, has this quality of sacredness, but we can desecrate it at a touch. How strange man is! His touch defiles and yet he contains the source of miracles.”
— Yukio Mishima, from Spring Snow (Alfred A. Knopf, 1972)

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Death as general rides a horse on a battlefield (1911) by Edgar Bundy
“brünhild woke and looked around. “who wielded the sharp sword that cut my chains?” “sigurd, sigmund’s son, you should call me.” “listen sigurd, who told you the way through the smoke and fire?” “it was two birds in the green forest. [they said] brünhild is beautiful, she’s waiting for you full of desire."
"In stories from the north, love is not a romantic trust between two lovers. [They] describe love as a union of two beings whose strength together enables one or both to enter into communication with the soul-world.... Love does not mean a flirtation or a pursuit for simple ego-pleasure, but a visible bond composed of the psychic sinew of endurance, a union which prevails through bounty and austerity, through the most complicated and most simple days and nights. The union of two beings is seen as "angakok" magic in itself, as a relationship through which "the powers that be" become known to both individuals."
- Women Who Run With the Wolves, "Hunting: When the Heart is a Lonely Hunter." By Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Ph.D.
Beautiful metal tree art….

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Rainer Maria Rilke, Journal of My Other Self
One Sings, the Other Doesn’t (1977)
“My privilege will try to make me complicit by default.”
This really hit home, so I’m posting it for others to see.
Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fukTk8gJ3M
[Image description: A photoset of a white vlogger in front of a bookshelf filled with DVDs, with the captions: "How is it my responsibility, or even my place, to apologize for the actions of my ancestors? Because they did it in my name. They did it for the prosperity of their descendants. But I don’t want any benefits conferred through slavery. I know it’s impossible for me to shed every single advantage that my ancestry affords me, but the least I could do is examine it. Be critical of it, to be as proactive as possible when it comes to the whole ‘not being complicit in historical atrocities’ thing. As a person of considerable privilege, I consider it my responsibility because my privilege will try to make me complicit by default.“]
I wish I could say you drew as much meaning and worth from our history as I have. It makes me sad that the art we were creating with each other means so little after all. It hurts to know someone I love thinks our time together was pointless; for it means you have learned so little about us, while I have learned so much.

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Andrey Tarkovsky, Sculpting in Time