Take a walk into my spirit...

Even when we were together we almost had nothing to say anymore. I tried to be normal but I could tell he wasn’t. He tried but I couldn’t fake it either. We were together, but we were alone, together. I loved this guy but his actions made me dislike him. I think I loved his dream and the person he wanted to be that I wanted to be there through his journey. But he wasn’t actually that person yet but i was hooked on the idea of his future self. Because we were each others first love, even though the love was gone, we didn’t want to let go. We didn’t know how to. Until he found a replacement. The thing that hit me most is how he could get over his feelings so quickly and move on to the next girl! Maybe because there’s someone there to replace me, he doesn’t have to feel the sadness I’m feeling. He says he won’t forget me but I feel like I never existed anymore. Like that past 3 years was just a dream. But I know it wasnt, and the memories I share with this guy will never leave me and I’ve honestly learned a lot from him. And I thank him for that, and I also thank him for letting me go. 

Some people are just not meant to be. We learn together but don’t end up together. I’m sure he’s learned a lot from me too and despite us talking bad about each other now (i’m sure), I know we’re both good people who just went through things that led us to making bad decisions. Life goes on… doors will open for bigger and better things to come! :) More lessons and experiences

lol I just read my 'being 18' post from last year so I thought why not do another one this year :p 

So I'm turning 20 in 4 slash 3 days..that's such a crazy thought! Being 19 defo did pretty much feel the same as 18..but so much has happened! I've completed my first year of university, lived away from home, people slowly faded out, but new ones came in, formed closer bonds and still more to experience! Learned so much more about myself and the people around me. I don't know, I definitely feel a progress in me so I can't complain there.. I'm slow, but we all knew that! haha. 

Fxckkk, it's crazy to think I'm not going to be a teenager anymore..I always thought those people were old, now I'm one of them?! Better start acting like one I guess? hmm. Lol, but seriously..a lot has happened this year and I'm always thankful to have had these people in my life. No regrets, just lessons and great memories :)

I look forward to reading this post next year and notice how much has changed in one single year. I'll be 21! OMG. WHATT. You better be in Vegas/Miami (or somewhere in Europe) right now Grace! lololol.