skeptics and true believers;

Tori: can we have sex oxr sosmething? it'd make you more interesting. no onqe would hawve to know. tthen ai coueld stop thinnkig fubaot you and your stupid boobs.

Tori: and no, i'm not drukn. duh. i'm underage.

Katie: ....Excusez moi?

Tori: Ew, you're going to be really old then. I'd ask you to buy me alcohol or whatever but you won't be old enough. Just useless. Why are we even talking about our periods? Ugh, this is stuff I only talk about with Maya. Awks... God, why are you so cruel all the time. If you weren't a walking dictionary, you wouldn't be anything. So, I'll like make you feel special. I can rub people quite well actually, just ask Zig. Hey you're not in any place to ignore any compliments. Aw, that's really sweet of you. You actually called me smart, I never thought that would ever happen. Uh, you weren't the one that had to see it. You think you're sick. I almost lost my lunch, so... I think I win.

Tori: Yeah, Zig. My ex-boyfriend? Well he would be my current one, but...

Katie: Next year I can by law. Not that I'd even offer to--- Wait, why are you drinking anyway? Um, you just entered high school. That's repulsive! I wasn't even... Puberty isn't /just/ that. Didn't you learn about this stuff in sex ed? I could ask you the same question. You're completely absurd... I offer a lot more than just my advanced vocabulary. Can you refrain from any further perverted comments? It'd be fully appreciated. You actually consider those forms of admiration? I'm not even going to exert any more effort by correcting you. That's not the point! We have to take this more seriously... before /they/ do. We really need to put them in a state of panic like they've done to us.

Tori: God, I'm not 16 yet, don't say stuff like that. I'll be getting gray hair at before you know at this rate. Uh, you're only like 2 years older than me. I could say the same to you. No one has ever said that because they're drying to be nice to you, duh. I am not insolent. I don't even know what that means! Oh please, your opinion is so... not as great as mine. No one cares what you think anyway. Well, you should probably like get used to my attitude. You're going to have to put up with me until this is over. A bone? I wasn't talking about a bone. Well, look who's being /unpleasant/ now. I am so not a chihuahua. At least they're cute. You obviously haven't seen them together again did you? My mom made your dad go in the study when I came in. I can only imagine what that means... so I don't think one is enough.

Tori: I'm actually not, duh. But whatever, fine, I'll ask Zig to tag along or something then.

Katie: Almost /three/ to be exact. My birthday's in a couple months. I hit puberty a long time ago, actually. I can't say the same for you. Yeah, and you're the complete opposite. You're practically scathing. Would you like me to copy down the definition for you? God, must you always rub people the wrong way? You're like a housefly buzzing around my ear. I'm not sure if that's realistic at this point. I might have to just ignore all your sardonic comments and backhanded compliments. Maybe one day I'll be surprised and you won't be such a smart-aleck. Take that however you want, I suppose. That really makes me feel sick to my stomach. Ugh, whatever it takes. I'll do it. They just can't continue this.

Drew: Who needs a dictionary when I have a know-it-all like you on my ass at all times? Please, don't flatter yourself. You should be thanking me for even agreeing to this considering you can't have fights without a fighter, smart ass. Sucks to be you then, huh?

Tori: What? Who's being negative? I'm most def now, because ew... you get wrinkles that way. , please just because I do pageants doesn't mean I'm a drama queen. You are, and nothing you can say will change that. It's not my fault that you look like one. Let's not even start on your hair... nevermind. I'm trying to be nice here, okay? You're making it impossible. It's like you're dangling a-- whatever dogs like in front of them. Except, I'm not a dog. I don't know since forever, duh. Why wouldn't it have one? Goody, Katie doesn't hate me. It must be my lucky day! God, you're so like annoying. I can't wait for it to be over, too. Then I'll never have to see your face again... at least until the next fake date.

Tori: Oh, wait, Maya texted me asking if we were going to go out with her Miles this on Saturday. Something about mom not letting her go without you, and wanting to double date. I don't know. So, two dates in one weekend...

Katie: You need to stop this fascination with wrinkles. You're like fifteen or sixteen, right? You've hardly hit puberty yet, nevertheless aged. Your actions right now are further proving otherwise. I do not! No one has ever said such a thing to me before. Must you always be so insolent? Again, I could care less about your thoughts on my hair. Your opinion is minuscule compared to my own. Nice? You're being unpleasant! I'm baffled as to how anyone can put up with your attitude, honestly. You mean a bone? You almost resemble a Chihuahua, actually. You never stop making annoying noise. Plus, you're all bark and no bite. If it did have an odor, I'm sure you'd reek. I feel the same exact way so your insult is futile. Isn't one more than enough? Our parents will see us together and flip. End of story.

Tori: Debbie Downer? Well that's lame, why's she going down? Oh, god you're such a drama queen. I don't talk lowly of you. I just don't like you. There's a difference, but I can think of worse people I'd have to pretend to act all Ellen and Portia with. At least you don't smell like a lesbian. I don't care who sees us. Why do /you/ care? Wait, dumb question, you hate me. So what if they do? They're nice to look at, okay?

Tori: God, you're such a Debbie-- whatever Debbie is. It'll work, okay? Wear something nice. I mean you do own something like that, right? If not we can go shopping. Just nothing that shows cleavage. It's distracting.

Tori: I need a date for this thing that I have to go to this weekend. My mom's going to be there, too. So, what do you say we get this icky thing going?