bad and naughty chefs will be placed in the Shame Cone to atone for their sins

You know what I find sad? Since all 6 seasons of Glee took place during the school year we have no idea what Kurt Hummel’s summer clothes look like. He’d have to lose some of the layers right? And if he found a way to wear shorts even during the fall he surely wore them during the bright sunny days of summer. There is an entire Kurt Hummel wardrobe that we’ve never seen, and this saddens me. 

and in unrelated news, the catholic church has just published a canonical addition to the bible in which it is revealed that jesus christ has actually been working for the devil for the past two thousand years. “hail satan,” he says at the end of the new book.

unrelated to captain america becoming hydra, jk rowling has just made a new canonical addition. harry potter has been a death eater the whole time. the last page features him casting a dark mark 

Disney World. The Cheesecake Factory. Sephora. Book stores. Motorcycles. Movie theaters. Musical theaters. The Super Bowl. Blue Bell ice cream. Bacon on everything. Chocolate everything. Adult stores. Amazon.com. Fast food. Las Vegas.

Private space industry. Private businesses. HBO. Netflix. 9 million gun companies. Apple. Windows. Linux. 3 different chicken strip restaurants in the same town. Target. Stocked grocery stores.

Starbucks. Shopping malls. Knife super stores. Fair food. Costco. Marvel Cinematic Universe. TJ Maxx. The Coca Cola company. Aquariums. Kindles. Victoria’s Secret. Soft Pretzel venders. Craft beer.

being carpet bombed in indochina by richard nixon, brutal and genocidal colonialism, being one of the 20m brits under the poverty line, supporting fascist regimes in latin america and asia, apartheid, wasting 40% of food produced within the US despite 47m people being impoverished, assassinating democratically elected presidents in favor of dictators. ur missing all the good ones.

I remember when I found out other people chop off the tops of strawberries. I was getting stoned with a bunch of older kids and popped a whole strawberry, top and all, in my mouth. And everyone started laughing and ragging on me for being so high i ate the whole strawberry and I just had to go with it and pretend like I hadn’t eaten every single strawberry of my life like that

surround yourself with people that are more excited for your birthday than u are