whomp whomp

Anyway, I've mostly grown out of this. I have a pretty well rounded palate at this point (I still don't like peas however). This is like 99% due to moving out and across the country when I was 20 and being forced to figure out how to feed myself cheaply. I figured out how to make vegetables taste good (surprise, it's not just opening a can and calling it a day) and we eat them with almost every meal.

Anyway ANYWAY, whenever I'm around any of my parents now as an adult, I realise how picky *they* are. Both main parents have a long list of things they don't like, which means they never made them for us. And now that I've had both of my parents take a DNA test, I can honestly say I came by my pickiness naturally:

She came all that way and didn't even attempt to talk to my sister, but forced hugs on my nieces and nephews, who were all shocked and upset she did this. I want to shake her and ask, "If you've never had a good relationship with [sister], why do you think you deserve one with her children?" She thinks they're not talking to her because their mom won't let them (which means she thinks my sister is just like her), and not because they saw her for who she really is and no longer want to be around her.

My sister and niece were actually just here, visiting, something my mom definitely had no clue about. I believe my mom still assumes that my sister and I have the same strained relationship we had when we were younger, which had always been her goal. They had a very eventful 12 hours prior to them heading back to Indiana (including a flat tire and then a dead battery - yes in that order), but less than an hour after they finally got on the road on Saturday, I got a message from my mom: "So many times I've picked up the phone to call you but I don't."

My mom mentioned she was going to the show to me yesterday, but in the guise of not wanting to get in the middle of things, I just said oh good and moved on. My immediate thought was she talked to my sister and this was planned. After we got off the phone, I was suddenly so worried she didn’t tell anyone and she’s doing this as a surprise. But then I was torn about still not wanting to be in the middle of this, so I didn’t ask my sister if she knew she was coming. And I regret that. Because she still would have come regardless but my sister and niece and nephew could have been warned. But instead, they’ll just see her, in the front row, for the first time since witnessing the screaming match between their mother and grandmother. And a big part of me hopes she gets everything that’s coming to her, in regards to my sisters family. I hope they say everything they’ve ever held back.

And I have no idea how I am supposed to talk to my mom now. This move is just so unreal and gross and I feel like I was somehow put in the middle of this anyway.

SAID