An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Summary:
He wakes to the sound of his heartbeat in his head. It’s not the frantic, face-flushing rhythm that’s kept him on his toes for the last several months, and it isn’t panicked and nauseating like the pulse of fleeing prey, like his body’s former natural state. This beat is steady, calm. Mo Guanshan would almost call it comfortable if it weren't for the mild headache and throbbing in his right ear. He'd heard that cartilage piercings hurt more than lobes, but that didn't scare him. He's seen worse, and he's pretty confident any piercing would heal faster than his first. But that didn't mean it wasn't sore the morning after.
__
An after shot for 430. Mo Guanshan wakes alone on the He Estate.
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I finally activated my kofi for commissions if any of yalls are interested (just did it this weekend in time for CitrusCon, which was amazing btw!!)
But yeah, head over here or DM me if interested~
https://ko-fi.com/19elaine/commissions
have a great week ahead ♥
Brother Qiu making a joke related to He Tian's fucked up childhood trauma makes me consider him being my second favourite secondary character(first is Baldie ofc). Man thats so fucked up. What is wrong with you. Why did you do that. I'm in love. That's fucking hilarious. Unhinged. We could be besties.
I'm glad I get to add a third track to the list of "Songs I've Been Spamming Into My Spotify Queue for the Last Two Weeks Because If They're Not Actively Playing I Can't Stop Thinking About Them."
Honestly, the music may have been what I most anticipated from season two because it's what first hooked me with season one. It was so emotive and cool and essential, and I couldn't stop listening. So of course I was excited, but also... nervous because "Overthink" was probably my favorite song from the moment I heard it, and I knew my expectations were already impossibly high.
But damn.
(More gushing and a tiny bit of theory below. Not really spoilers, but maybe vibe spoilers for season 2)
They're already over delivering so much that it's insane. I wish I was joking, but since the release my commute to work has just been VORTEX>TIDES >VORTEX> and the intro to whatever song happens to be in the shuffle queue. And then, of course, I reverse it on the walk home and double up on "TIDES." They're both incredible. I can't stop; I'm sure it's some kind of sickness.
白鲨JAWS and 饭卡 have clearly put so much into these concepts that they can stand alone as narrative pieces.
And I can't stop thinking about the way that the end of the full version of "The TIDES" blends into the beginning of the full version of "VORTEX." It almost feels like the same song just shifts into something different when you listen to them in that order, and it makes the reversal in "VORTEX" hit so much harder.
Like the ending becomes the beginning but one of the voices isn't there.
And the one that is there is caught in this loop trying to get back something lost.
"Time is like music, play 'til the end and rest it"
And as I'm dabbling in these alternate timeline theories, I can't help but wonder what that all means and where "Flash" fits into all of this.
"I can't believe that you were here; I know I can't do it. There's no chance to rewrite...Our story ended long ago"
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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“Only ever feeling fine
And I’d prefer us to be close
I’d like to look you in the eyes
Not fearing staring into the void,
waiting for replies
Just waiting for replies
I’ve been trying to read your mind
By stripping all the poems
I’ve been watching dandelions
Grow and die and grow
And it’s a shame
Because I only came here
for the love of you
Yeah, it’s a shame
Because I only came here
for the love of you
…
Are you over there feeling fine?
Oh, I’d prefer it if we spoke
I’d like to look you in the eyes
Not three AM staring into the void,
waiting for replies
Just waiting for replies”
“Dandelions”, by Daughter
_____
do NOT report anywhere.
instagram art account: deathlywounded
So after all that he became a better citizen like a doctor or mad scientist, yeah I don’t care if you do science I’m biased to like you a little, some people just need to get their ass whooped to be a better person, so proud of you my beautiful psycho
Okay, but now I'm thinking about a Mad scientist She Li AU where he started studying to find the source/cure to his lack of pain, but after years of desperately researching via various necessary torture methods, he got pretty twisted. So he just spends all his time in his lab, surrounded by cloning tanks filled with his next test subjects, thinking up ways to extract the most amount of pain from them. He doesn't remember why he started in the first place.
But then one day, one of the clones is just a bit different than the others, asking more questions, talking back more. It's intriguing. Fun.
So he doesn't kill that one right away, decides to hang onto it a bit longer. He becomes fixated on this particular clone's reactions, is confident that this is the one that will give him whatever it was he was looking for in the first place.
And then one day it actually fights back, says it's done being tortured for no reason, what was the point of all of this anyway?! And it leaves him there, alone again. And it hurts. It hurts like nothing ever hurt before.
And just like that, he has an answer to the question he finally remembers desperately wanting to answer.
So he goes back to the books. Really focuses. But he doesn't awaken another clone--uses himself instead, now that he understands pain. And he keeps working because now he has another question to answer and motivation to find it. He wants to take the pain away. But not just his any more. He wants to take back the pain he caused the only person who gave him a chance. But he can't--not directly--so he vows to make something readily accessible to anyone, even clones likely doomed to live in poverty without proper identification documents.
So he keeps working, but without access to his test subjects, the cost just keeps rising. But he knows he needs to do this, whatever it takes.
.
.
.
And then one day, a new medication hits the markets: A promising cure-all for pain proudly backed by a rising pharmaceutical company with pockets deep enough to keep patient costs low.
And rumors say the nameless scientist behind it decided to stay with the company, offering his life's work in exchange for servicing a greater purpose. And competent boss.
I didn't think this through when I posted it, but some more thoughts:
His hair went from grey to white when he experienced pain for the first time. It was such a shock to his body that he lost his hair color. (No, but really, what happened to his hair?! I kinda love it, but idk)
Also.
When he first joins the company, it's not like all his personality issues are fixed. He's still unhinged. People DO NOT like him and actively avoid shifts alone with him. He doesn't notice because he's so used to being alone...Until he notices someone hanging around, an unmissable presence in the room. The person never really says anything, just uses the same space to do their work. But he can always feel eyes on him, neither threatening nor hateful but always there.
And it starts to drive him mad again, the prickling sense of constantly being watched after being ignored for so long. He tries to brush it off, but he can't. The guy had brought him into the company personally, did he not trust him?! Mistrust would be fair, but why hire him in that case? And didn't that guy have anything better to do than sit in the lab all day? He's always watching and when he isn't in the room, She Li can still feel him watching because there's cameras fucking everywhere from every angle and it's not like the guy doesn't have access to the footage.
So one day he can't take it anymore. He breaks, demands to know why the man was always watching him.
And the guy just smirks around his cigarette.
And She Li doesn't understand. There's no hostility in the gesture, but She Li can feel the fight-or-flight kicking in, blood pressure rising until he can feel it in his ears. He was going to lose it all again, but it didn't matter as long as this guy would STOP FUCKING WATCHING HIM ALL THE TIME!
But then he feels a strong hand on his arm.
"I don't think I will. I find you too interesting." And then the guy walks out of the lab for the rest of the night...but She Li knows he'll be back in the morning.
So after all that he became a better citizen like a doctor or mad scientist, yeah I don’t care if you do science I’m biased to like you a little, some people just need to get their ass whooped to be a better person, so proud of you my beautiful psycho
Okay, but now I'm thinking about a Mad scientist She Li AU where he started studying to find the source/cure to his lack of pain, but after years of desperately researching via various necessary torture methods, he got pretty twisted. So he just spends all his time in his lab, surrounded by cloning tanks filled with his next test subjects, thinking up ways to extract the most amount of pain from them. He doesn't remember why he started in the first place.
But then one day, one of the clones is just a bit different than the others, asking more questions, talking back more. It's intriguing. Fun.
So he doesn't kill that one right away, decides to hang onto it a bit longer. He becomes fixated on this particular clone's reactions, is confident that this is the one that will give him whatever it was he was looking for in the first place.
And then one day it actually fights back, says it's done being tortured for no reason, what was the point of all of this anyway?! And it leaves him there, alone again. And it hurts. It hurts like nothing ever hurt before.
And just like that, he has an answer to the question he finally remembers desperately wanting to answer.
So he goes back to the books. Really focuses. But he doesn't awaken another clone--uses himself instead, now that he understands pain. And he keeps working because now he has another question to answer and motivation to find it. He wants to take the pain away. But not just his any more. He wants to take back the pain he caused the only person who gave him a chance. But he can't--not directly--so he vows to make something readily accessible to anyone, even clones likely doomed to live in poverty without proper identification documents.
So he keeps working, but without access to his test subjects, the cost just keeps rising. But he knows he needs to do this, whatever it takes.
.
.
.
And then one day, a new medication hits the markets: A promising cure-all for pain proudly backed by a rising pharmaceutical company with pockets deep enough to keep patient costs low.
And rumors say the nameless scientist behind it decided to stay with the company, offering his life's work in exchange for servicing a greater purpose. And competent boss.
If you have a profile picture that is a winsome lady wearing insufficient clothing for the time of year, and have no posts or bio, I am probably going to report your blog for being spam and block you.
I apologise to all you bikini-loving ladies out there, but my blog is beset by an influx of robotic floozies, which is surely a thing you’re hearing from many people (or not, since you’re new to Tumblr).
This technically also applies to default profile pictures, but then I don’t get to say “influx of robotic floozies“, and where’s the fun in that?
I have begun blocking blogs that have profile pictures featuring winsome ladies wearing a perfectly sufficient amount of clothing, and in at least one case a handsome lad wearing sufficient clothing, but of whom not a one had any posts, likes, or relevant details about themself in their bio. Narry so much as a “Just here to lurk :)” could be found.
Point being, with the bots getting actual good names nowadays, I’m going to go ahead and assume that anyone without a minimum of one post, one reblog, and one sentence in their bio that says something other than the equivalent of “(emoji) Name (emoji) Age (emoji) DTF (emoji)” is a bot, and will be blocking them post-haste.
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I love how brother Qiu is now part of the gang. He may also feel a little lonely. On top of that, I'm kind of frightened and at the same time excited for any kind of revealing "deep" conversation that might happen between him and Tian. (That kitchen is going to be a shit show and I've been waiting for months to see it.) Imagine Mo's mom coming home to 4 brats and a mountain-sized scary ass man cooking dinner, lmao. "Ah, yes ma', this one is also my friend"
On a lighter note, man I'm a slut for that guy BROTHER IS SO BEAUTIFUL did you see those arms? And the eyes? And the physical integrity of that individual's pectorals? I get feral I swear.
Old knew very well what they were doing when putting that helmet on this guy.
Aw, guys. This chapter made me super happy. Chapters with all four of them together are my favorites, but actually it's always the ones with Qiu, too.
I love this man.
He's more of an agent of chaos in this story than She Li is (was 🫤) Not because Q is unpredictable or poses an immediate threat, but because him being near generally indicates that someone else has plans. I mean... It's not totally unbelievable that He Cheng forgot to feed Q and he really is just swinging by the market on the way home to his now emptier, dogless home.
But is he?
I doubt it.
Though I do not doubt that he's using his current goose-wrangling babysitting gig to get in on that certified home cooked MGS action. Again.
Qiu is cheeky and bold and unyeildingly bulldozes his way into where he needs to be. Which is why he's the perfect bridge for HC to have between himself and the idiots. Do you think HC would have gotten the same reaction, stumbling into them and bribing himself a seat at the dinner table to keep an eye on them?
Q is crass--even his boss--and that makes him approachable. He's just a dude with a job he thought would be better (like MGS) that he got because he has a level of loyalty to a powerful man that he can't fully explain or probably even justify (like HT) and is now responsible for the safety of a flighty idiot that can't seem to stop getting kidnapped (like ZZX). But he's strong and capable and protects the people he needs to protect (like JY wants to be, HT too). Q can reach them in ways that HC's position would never allow.
He's there when they need more hands in a fight, when the kids are being scammed, when they can't build a fire, when they can't get to school on time, when JY needs to be un-kidnapped, when HT gets to say goodbye to his dog. He gets them ice cream (and king crab!) and guitars and firewood. He gives them rides on his motorcycle and lets them roughhouse but punishes them when they take it too far. He teaches them how to be stronger and when to show restraint and oh my god Qiu is the only suitable father figure in this whole damn story.
It's just a bonus that I'm never going to be sad looking at any part of him.
But his presence is a harbinger.
Of impending mafia send-offs? Of looming threats of rivals? Of teenaged hijinks or mindless street thugs? Of malicious neighbors with cat lasers toys?
We won't know until they strike. (Although, I have my assumptions)
I was going to talk more about the chapter, but this kinda became a Q appreciation post. I couldn't help it. And neither could I help the onslaught of senseless head cannon from taking over.
Because I really really want to see Mom's reaction to Q. He's a gruff muscles-definitely-for-more-than-show dude, but she lives with a prickly "delinquent" that towers over most people, so she knows how to read between the lines.
But--and I WILL die on this hill--she knows how to read between the lines.
Do I think we'll ever get the Momma confrontation I've asked for so badly for years now? Probably not outside of my drafts. But I don't care. She knows, and I know she knows, and you know I know she knows👃
Because in the same breath that I wish for her to react to the mafia presence, I also just... I want this single dad (yes, single. You're going to make him do all the childrearing, send him off to clean up the messes, AND STILL NOT FEED HIM?!) to be treated kindly by the mother of all mothers. I want them to commiserate on keeping track of these animals. I want him to reassure her that her son isn't going to be held back any more. I want her to make him soup that tastes so good he asks for some to go and she gives it to him under the condition that he comes by any time he wants a home cooked meal.
And HT dies a little inside. And so does MGS the first time "A-Qiu" takes her up on her offer...
I'll stop now before I make any grievous mistakes, but I'm sure you can imagine that my draft list of questionable prompts is growing 😈