hiyas

Kaya okay na. Sapat na. Sapat na para piliin naman ang sarili kesa ang iba. Nakakapagod din pala.

Siguro nga, I am not meant to be hold. Baka masyado na akong damaged to fill other people. Maybe I should stop hoping and looking for a place in other's lives. Maybe I am just really meant to be alone.

I'm married, you guys 🥰

Akala ko okay na ko. Akala ko lang pala lahat.

I mean, with my series of removing friends from facebook to removing people entirely from my life, ano bang mali sakin bat takot na takot ako maiwan at masaktan? It's like I'd rather be alone than work things out. I'd rather lose people than try to even ask what is happening or what is wrong. Basta lang the moment na na-feel kong I am not needed anymore, I'm done. Like yes, kesa masaktan pa ako na hindi na ako kailangan. Kesa masaktan pa ako na mafeel na ayaw na nila sakin. Kesa masaktan pa akong hindi na ako treated like they used to, aalis na lang ako without saying anything. Like yes, goodbye you.

The sleepless nights. The hand and feet twitching. The hair pulling. The nonstop and even anywhere or anytime crying. The heart that keeps aching it fucking breaks, don't just tell me it is that easy. Cause I think it will never be. But I am still not done trying. I guess? Or am I really close to my limit?

Weekend.

I am just this soul. Drained. Hungry for emotions. Desperately searching for happiness. But no matter what I do, I just feel so, so, empty inside. Bursting it all out doesn't even help now.

Di na ako makapag wait for June 5 so i posted it here na 🤣

I don’t think that loving kasi should cause pain neither should you endure it. if you are beating yourself up physically, emotionally and mentally, that is not love and also, you will not benefit something from it. Only pain. (and life lessons, btw) Cause love is supposed to be hard (not painful), heck it will not always be easy. It will require a lot of patience, and courage, and strength to get through the end game but still, it is easy going in a way that even it is rocky, the shore will always be at peace. Cause you know it is worth it. :)

Hilu

Siz got some free time today, so.

The sentiments of those under the twenties category hehehe kaya natin yan. :)

2021, even if life still seems to be unbearable at times, i will not let my monsters win this time.

Hi there, thank you so much 🙂

Taiwan in snaps. 
One thing I like being in Taiwan? Aside from the cold weather when we came (January siya day), nakapag OOTD ako lols. I just really have a thing for coats but since PH doesn’t do winter things, I enjoyed every moment while in Taiwan. 
So we arrived in Taiwan airport at 1AM and since cabs were not available at the time + our trip will start at 6AM, my friends decided to just wait at the airport. I remembered waking up tho not knowing nakatulog na pala ako while waiting lol. Just imagine a group of people sitting at the side (kasi sa totoo lang ang konti ng chairs available haha) sleeping… Pero we noticed naman that a lot of tourists do that also kaya di na nakakahiya haha. 
Anyway, it was raining on our first day + cold weather pa that when we got out of the airport, sobrang lamig to the point na napaworry ako if kakayanin ng mga dala kong damit yung lamig. Kasi even with wearing long sleeves and pants + the coat, malamig pa rin. Thankfully on our 2nd day up to last, it wasn’t raining anymore so it somehow helped. But still, when we were at the famous Jiufen Old Street, we bought gloves and leggings to wear inside our pants dahil sa lamig HAHAH. 
I enjoyed the tour naman but what I like most is when we explored the city at night like we went to several night markets para dun kumain and just look around. We noticed lang na parang late mag simula ang araw in Taiwan since on our last day, 11AM na kami nakalabas pero most shops were still closed. Naalala ko pa how we searched every convenience store for rice kasi wala talagang kanin sa fast food chains HAHAHAHA. Anyway, sobrang nakakahappy lang going to a different country and experience living there even just for a while. Marerealize mo talaga that there is more to see and it makes me excited. Kaya this is really one of the reasons why I like to pursue higher. Gusto ko talagang mag travel pa. It’s like medicine to my damaged soul. lol. Okibay