give me the look that says âjust wait until weâre aloneâ
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@initsuohime
give me the look that says âjust wait until weâre aloneâ

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me, violently beating back my emotions with a broom: for the last time i said shut the FUCK up
you guys ever feel like youâre not cute enough to offset all the crazy thatâs in your head and no one is ever going to love you because they can find someone else so much more beautiful, normal, and healthy much less stressful?
The blog most at risk (out of all my blogs ) still lives!
As long as youâre influenced by what others think, you wonât be able to find your own direction.
Jerry Corstens

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TAGGED BY:Â @shinebrightlikealion
TAGGING: Â
REPOST ; DONâT REBLOG.
BOLD any which apply to your muse ! feel free to add to the list !
         WHAT ARE YOUR MUSEâS AESTHETICS?
[ COLORS ] [ red ]. brown. orange. yellow. green. blue. [ purple ]. pink. [ black ]. white. teal. silver. [ gold ] . grey. lilac. [ metallic ]. matte. royal blue. strawberry red. charcoal grey. forest green.apple red. violet. navy blue. [ crimson ]. cream. mint green. bubblegum pink. sky blue. pale jade.
[ ELEMENTS ] fire. ice. water. air. earth. rain. snow. wind. moon. [ stars ] . [ sun ]. heat. cold.steam. frost. lightning. [ sunlight ]. [ moonlight ]. [ dawn ] . [ dusk ] . [ twilight ] . [ midnight ] . [ sunrise ] . [ sunset. ] dewdrops.
[ WEAPONS ] [ fists ]. [ legs ]. [ sword ]. [ dagger ]. spear. bow & arrow. hammer. shield. poison. [ guns ] . axes. throwing axes. [ whips ] . [ knives ] . [ throwing knives ] . pepper sprays. tasers. machine guns. slingshots. [ katanas ] . maces. staffs. wands. [ powers ] . magical items. [ magic ]. rocks. mud balls. [ claws ].  teeth . [ stealth ]. [ strategy ].
[ MATERIALS ] [ gold ]Â . silver. copper. [ platinum ]. [ titanium ] . [ rose gold ]Â . [ diamonds ]Â . pearls. [ rubies ] . sapphires. emeralds. amethyst. metal. iron. rust. steel. glass. wood. porcelain. paper. wool. [ fur ]. [ lace ] . [ leather ]. [ silk ] . [ velvet ]. denim. Â linen . cotton. charcoal. clay. stone. asphalt. brick. marble. dust. glitter. [Â blood ] . dirt. mud. smoke. ash. shadow. carbonate. rubber. synthetics.ribbon.
[ NATURE ] grass. leaves. trees. bark. [ roses ]. daisies. sunflowers. tulips. lavender. [ petals ]. seeds. hay. sand. rocks. roots. [ flowers ]. fungi. ocean. river. frozen lake. [ meadow ] . valley. forest. desert. tundra. savanna . rain forest. caves. underwater. beach. waves. [ space ] . clouds .mountains. snow. mist. pond.
[ ANIMALS ] [ lions ]. [ wolves ] . foxes. eagles. owls. falcons. [ hawks ] . [ swans ] . snakes. turtles. ducks. bugs. spiders. birds. whales. dolphins. fish. sharks. horses. [ cats ]. [ dogs.] [ bunnies ] . penguins. praying mantises. crows. ravens. mice. lizards. werewolves. scorpions. [ unicorns ]. pegasus. [ dragons ] . ladybugs. scarabs.
[ FOODS / DRINKS ] [ sugar ] . salt. [ candy ] . bubblegum. [ wine ]. [ champagne ]. [ hard liquor ] . [ vodka ] . beer. [ coffee ] . [ sake ] . [ tea ] . spices. herbs. [ apple ]. orange. lemon. [ cherry ] . [ strawberry ]. watermelon. vegetables.[ fruits ]. [ meat ]. [ fish ] . [ pies ] . [ desserts] . [ chocolate ] . cream. caramel . [ berries ] . [ nuts ] . [ cinnamon ] . [ burgers ] . burritos. [ pizza ] . ambrosia. eggs. [ milk ]
[ HOBBIES ]Â [Â music ] . [Â art ] . watercolors. [ gardening ]. smithing. sculpting. painting. sketching.[ fighting ]. [ writing ] . [ composing ] . [ cooking ] . [ baking ] . sewing. [ training ]. [Â dancing ] . [ acting ] . [Â singing ] .[ martial arts ]. [ self-defense ]. war tactics. electronics. technology. cameras. video cameras. video games. computer. phone. movies. [ theatre ]. [ libraries ]. [ books ].magazines. cds. records. vinyls. cassettes. [ piano ]. strings. violin. [ guitar ]Â . electronic guitar. bass guitar. harmonica. harp. woodwinds. brass. flute. bells. [ exploring ] . playing cards. poker chips. chess. dice. [Â motorcycle riding ] . eating. [ sleeping ]. climbing. running. jogging. [ parkour ] . studying.
[ MISC ] balloons. bubbles. cityscape. [ light ] dark. [ candles ]. growth. decay. war. peace. money. [ power ] . percussion. clocks. photos. mirrors. lighters. [Â pets ] . diary. journal. fairy lights. [ madness ] . sanity. [ sadness ] . realism. happiness. optimism. [Â pessimism ] . [Â loneliness ] . family. [ friends ]. clan. assistants. co-workers. enemies. [ loyalty ]. smoking. drugs. kindness. [ love ]. hugs. [ kisses ]. [ spring ] . [ summer ]. autumn. [ winter ] . farmland. countryside. suburban. village.
Heads up.
Iâm back! Alright, new month, new me! Well, still the same me but with some differences in both ooc and rp. RP. 1. Gonna do a mass unfollowing of inactive blogs 2. I wonât be following up any blogs unless interactions has occurred. ( Iâm friendly to non-mutuals as well, so thatâs how itâs gonna start ). 3. No more writing long starters unless weâve already established an ooc thing ( I just donât wanna be the one who writes nice long starters that never gets a reply AGAIN ) 4. Gonna be working on writing replies frequently, or at least have replies going out frequently when thereâs replies to be done. 5. Might consider remaking the blog, or maybe new muses, but still undecided. OOC. 1. If you wanna know whatâs going on with me, how am I etc, all the shizzle, actually talk to me. Iâm available on many channels, tumblr, skype, discord. If youâre asking someone how Iâm doing, you might as well be asking a door knob cause no one actually knows how Iâm feeling except for myself. If you canât even talk to me, donât talk about me. 2. Donât share my personal shit around. If you know shit about me, thatâs because I trusted you and talked to you about it. That doesnât give you the right to share anything around. Anything I didnât upright announce, be quiet about it or Iâm just gonna stop talking to you. If I wanted other people to know, Iâd tell other people. Same goes for pictures. Iâd post pictures if I wanted to. Donât see me posting them? Thatâs cause I donât want people to see it.
STRANGER:
âI am looking forâŠ.Help, and wondered if you could perhaps help me.â It was honesty in pure form, as his eyes were looking for some sort of answer from the blonde celestial mage. The answer he would go through the entire continent ten fold to find. While he was not sure there was a link, celestial star and celestial key magic should have a link to the gods themselves. This was..only speculation on his part, but it did not hurt to ask.Â
âSorry if I am imposing you, miss. However, you are a celestial spirit mage right? Are youâŠ.aware of the gods of this world?â It was a bit of a gray topic, as the gods were not always beings talked about or well known as many topics and books of their tales and history are not public. However, they are beings which have even surpassed the force of dragons themselves.Â
                                ..........help.........? What form of help could she offer up? Guilds offered assistance via missions -- though those required rewards of sorts to entice the mage into aiding; food did not fall freely from the skies after all, and rent did not pay itself. Still, if it was merely a direction to point, Lucy could do so much. She had been living in this city for a while after all, it was her home just as it was for the others.Â
      The topic at hand however......... She had presumed that it was common knowledge to most now, considering how Sabertooth boasted of a God Slayer, a certain fairly loud God Slayer -- and their guild was of no hidden myth. They were prideful and rightfully so. In addition, considering how she had watched her partner so easily take down a God.... âYes, Iâm quite aware....â What did this have to do with Celestial Spirit mages?
Doesnât matter how tough we are, trauma always leaves a scar. It follows us home, it changes our lives, trauma messes everybody up, but maybe thatâs the point. All the pain and the fear and the crap. Maybe going through all of that is what keeps us moving forward. Itâs what pushes us. Maybe we have to get a little messed up, before we can step up.â
Greyâs Anatomy (via quotesfromgreys)

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Reminder that
Lucy might be written as cursed on this blog as a twist to the Canon!Lucy in the Fairy Tail verse but unless otherwise written during interactions, she still behaves as per Canon!Lucy. Therefore, unless portrayed as such, please do not immediately go into the interactions with this âcursedâ knowledge. Remember, what you know as the writer, the mun, is not what your character knows. I am informing you beforehand so that you know what you are getting into when we interact, but unless your character has some magical ability to detect ALL curses at ANY magnitude, your character does not know. And if your character does know, please do inform me as interactions will differ greatly.
Also note that until I have unveiled what exactly is the situation with Lucy, I will unfortunately have to delay interactions with muses who can pinpoint her curse in any manner. This is nothing personal, but solely because I have put some thought into this and simply want to reveal it in a certain manner rather than just have it declared and tossed out in the open.
STRANGER:
@initsuohime
Day in and day out it was always the same no matter where he looked, or what he found. Nothing relevant to the answers he seeks, or even to find the questions to give. Gods were not well known in a realm of magic, nor were they expected to be. They were gods, no god would surely be so weak to get information on them besides the people of ancient times since worship. Signing, placing the bowl of his thirtieth bowl of ramen away, finally standing onto his feet as he casually walked down the streets of fiore, something caught his eye.Â
A blonde women, someone he had recognized and saw in the events leading up to the grand magic games and on the lamia crystals that displayed the entire tournament. What was her nameâŠit evaded him as his mind continued to look and wonder. For the most part however, he had noticed something that alone annoyed his senses as he continued to look at it in a bit of irritation. Gently walking over, he tapped on the girls shoulder, looking up to her as he pointed to her guild mark on her hand.Â
âYou are the celestial mage of fairy-tail right? Heartfillia is your name right?âÂ
                                 Peace! At last! Granted, her relief was a tad exaggerated, but the rowdiness of her partner and guild could only be take in so many doses when mind and body was weary. She had been ill; though not violently, and whilst they had been of great assistance during the period, a celebration party with loud music and alcohol did not bode too well for a recovering woman. She was amused, and enjoyed the party as best as she could -- but a fresh breath of air, and a plan to return the favour was long overdue. Her friends deserved her thanks, after all the efforts they put in. Natsu was food oriented ( and fight but she was unwilling to start a sparring session with the Dragon Slayer ), and what better way to bond with her friends than a mini party. ( Obviously in her apartment, they already welcome themselves in anyway. )Â
â--How much meat would I even need?â Distracted by her own mental calculations ( reflexes slowed by the illness that still mildly plagued her ), she took a moment to respond to the touch, form shifting to address the unexpected interruption. âYes?â Hand raised to better display the guild mark, she smiled with a nod. âIâm Lucy, of Fairy Tail. Is there something you need from us?â
NATSUÂ [ @unmeinozuretehonoâ] :
Fingers fumbled with the papers before setting them aside once more, shifting himself to sit just a little closer to the blonde, as if needing more physical contact. âThats what Dad said. Itâs a great opportunity for me.â Even with the closeness to the girl, the male kept his face turned away, simply looking at a wall that had a few scribbles of writing upon it, but likely nothing understandable to anyone but him. âI always dreamt of running in the Olympics.â What athlete didnât dream of competing at the top of their class? That they could even be considered good enough was achieving a dream, and the letter that sat so close to Natsu was proof enough, he was good enough, at age seventeen he was good enough to run at the Olympics.Â
YetâŠ
"Itâs a big step though." He mumbled, but she would have caught it, it was not quiet. "âŠFor me. As crappy as this city can be sometimes, its my home, the first place I ever felt safe. The first place where I didnât feel like someone was waiting around the corner to scoop me up and take me away⊠and⊠and its the first place I ever felt accepted." Even though acceptance had come not too long ago, from the blonde he was now confiding in. "I dont know if I want to leave." A small sigh. "To be honestâŠ. Iâm scared." His voice died out at the end, that he had confessed such a thing. He was scared.
"The first time I ever flew was to come here, and Iâve never flown since. If I went to this camp Iâd have to fly⊠if I went to this camp Iâd be in the middle of no where with people I dont know. People that might not understand what I can be like." If I went to this camp, Iâd be without you.Â
"I have to keep my grades up, my speed up. I donât know if I can do that. Iâm not smart, and most times I feel like Iâm just lucky when I run⊠I canât do this Lucy. What if I screw it up? What if I have a really bad episode again and Iâm stuck in the hospital for six months like the last time and I completely fuck it all up because I fail school andâ" His voice was growing faster and faster, more frantic, before he calmed himself with a few breaths.Â
"âŠIf it was you, if it was you getting this letter, what would you do?"
It was clear that he yearned for the physical comfort, thus she shifted closer, once again glad that she had sprayed a touch of perfume before arrival, careful not to kick the sprinter by accident as she rested hand in his. She did not stop there, squeezing the calloused hand in an attempt at reassurance and offering up a small smile. âIt is your dream.â Lucy began. drawing his hand to rest upon her lap so that she was not forced to stretch out and maintain linked hands in midair. âIf you want to attain your dreams, you have to make some sacrifices and take some risks. They think youâre good enough to run in the Olympics, and if you train with them, youâll become even better.â There was always room for improvement, even if someone was already the best. There would always be someone better -- therefore the need to constantly improve. âIt is your choice, Natsu. Whichever you choose, Iâll support you.â It was the least she could do, and it was what a girlfriend was to do. As far as she understood anyway. She dropped his hand, instead reaching to gently clasp his face between her hands. âLook at me, Natsu. I will help you with your grades, you will not fail school and you will not be stuck in the hospital for six months. Iâm here for you. If you go to this camp, I will come visit you. You will not screw this up. I will be here for you every step of the way.â She knew not if they allowed visitors, but she would one way or another; there was power in the name of Heartfilia even if her Father restricted her. If she had to, she would do almost anything. She was one who climbed out a window and scaled the wall to get out of a party she had no interest in after all. âItâs your chance to do what you want. Your dream. Do you want to give it up?â She did not think so. âYou make your own future, and I believe in you. I believe that you can do it if you want to. Do you?â
NATSUÂ [ @unmeinozuretehonoâ ]:
"You looked like you were asleep." Was his shrugged explanation, before pouting at her words, but he was glad she did not pull away from his arms, and his lips, smiling a little more at the blush that tinted her cheeks, again, something that was for him, and him alone, no one else made Lucy Heartfilia blush so easily. Only he saw this side of her, and he liked it. Maybe loved it. He didnât know if it was time to be that invested yet, but part of him knew it was already far too late for that. But he would not say it outloud. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
"Yes it does. Its a nice hello." He teased as she pulled away, sighing a little as he completely ignored his words, but he kept with her stride easy, it was nothing for the sprinter, nothing at all. Hand he did not take however, but a closeness was still kept, so that sometimes arms brushed up upon one another, his hand coming up to play with the hat she had placed upon his head. "I like the hat." He commented idly, playing with it a little more before letting his arm drop, making sure to make small hints with his steps so that he could guide the cheerleader to where the car was parked. There was little point just following if she went in the wrong direction.
"People have been asking me where youâve been." He commented as they walked, giving a small sigh. "I told them I didnât know." Which, was not a lie, at all, all he knew was that she had been pulled away with nothing but the clothes on her back and her phone, but he did not share that information with them either. "I dont know how so many people have my phone number." He grumbled, most of the people that had sent him messages he didnt even know, but figured they were part of the cheer team, or at least associated. Or maybe they were just noisy people that wanted to stick their noses in where it didnât belong. He knew there were many rumors about how long his relationship with the heiress would last, they were different, so different.
Yet no one but them knew how similar they were.
Opening the door of the car as they reached it for his girlfriend he would slip around to the other side quickly, climbing in beside her with a small sigh. Things felt right again.
âItâs a hello when you kiss people on the cheeks. I donât think itâs too nice when strangers kiss me on the lips.â Quite on the contrary, in fact, the blonde would find that foul and disturbing. She was not fond of being touched unless necessary and that was limited to cheer-leading ( which she had to be to be thrown or lifted ), and the occasional touches from her strange boyfriend. He did not go beyond boundaries, and she minded little of his caresses. It was more for his comfort, she understood, he needed her reassurance. âItâs a souvenir for you. I didnât have much time to get anything else.â Her return was of more importance than shopping around -- she cared little for that activity, perhaps too used to the customized gowns and servants who shopped on her behalf. But now she was without either; nonetheless still saw little point in shopping when she had what was needed. They had uniforms and she had sufficient clothing. âWere we not supposed to give our numbers? When I joined the cheer team, we were made to give our numbers. Perhaps that was where they attained them from, the sprinters might have given yours to them..? I think a few of them are dating my cheerleaders.â She was not wholly sure, she pay little heed in their personal affairs unless she had to. Occasionally she was made to deal with a violent encounter, but for their welfare, it had to be done. ( Of course, these encounters were limited and now often supported by her boyfriend who had her back. It was heartwarming to know that he was willing to put them into rubbish bins on her behalf. ) Fastening the seat belt once she was comfortable, shades returned to the bridge of her nose, sheltering eyes from the glare of the sun and relishing in the familiarity of the ride. She picked well, he was happy. He liked it. âAre we returning home for food, or eating out?â It had not been long since she was forced to travel, but she missed his cooking. It was arguably the best she had, even with the sumptuous meals she was privy to. But she was hungry, starving.Â
"I always want you." He purred, pushing her backwards into the wall of the gym, lips crashing upon hers in a rough dance, muscular body pushing into hers as fingers tangled up into long golden locks. "Every second, of every day. I want you, no, /I need you/."
She knew. Perhaps all too well; considering his attraction towards her had always been classified as physical. On good days she deemed it to be more, as though there was true love involved â but she was always hesitant. Love did not come by easily, even if it was what she desired; and opening up to people had consequences.                       And she was used to being betrayed. It was all she knew. They had begun on a lie, a fake relationship for the eyes of the public; an entertainment..but it had become more. So much more. Amidst the blood and sweat, broken noses( that she dealt oh so well ), they had developed some form of affection, some form of love. Still she doubted, if he would return to his old ways, to share body and bed with others. She hated it. The very thought of it sent her in a terrible rage â perhaps that was love. They were ill-suited, each had tempers of their own, fiery and harmful. They broke each otherâs hearts on a frequent basis, but came crawling back for more. It was futile; somehow, someway or another, they crept into each otherâs world, tangling into heart and mind.Love. Somehow.She welcomed his desires. They were alone, and she swung arms around his neck, lifting legs and hooking them around his waist with a groan. Focusing on their lips, interlinked fingers pressed him close, gasping for breaths between as she savoured the moment.Â
âLooks like you get what you want today. Must be your lucky day, Puppy~â Softly chuckling, digits inched across broad back, waiting for his next action. If she knew him, and she did, she knew exactly what he wanted. And she was not about to make things easy for her perverted boyfriend~

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Free Will; Once A Given, Now An Impossibility || AU ||
HUMAN MALEÂ [ @unmeinozuretehono ]:
Everything was dark when he woke, a pounding headache, body sore and exhausted, and yet he would still struggle as hard as he possibly could upon the binds around his wrists and ankles, biting at whatever it was they had over his head to try and get it free, this was crazy, insane even! He had been kidnapped or something to that effect by crazy masked people that just wouldnât go down! How was he to ever explain this?
âŠWould he even get out alive from this?
No, he could not think like that, he just had to wait, wait for the right moment to escape, for the right moment when someone let their guard down, thats what he always taught them, so thats what he would have to follow.
Gruffly someone smacked him across the back with something sharp and hot, making him cry out before he bit his lip, scolding himself for being so foolish, but, what ever he was in had stopped moving, and he was tugged to stand, forced to shuffle in a strange way as they moved him around a place he could not see, a place he could not work out, other than he almost felt there was carpet under his feet at some points and then sometimes others, given a rough tug of his hair through what ever it was that covered his face when they had stopped, closing his eyes to try and work out muffled speech from the other room.
âMy Lady, we have a gift for you.â
What kind of crazy person wants a full grown male as a gift? This did not bode well, not well at all. What was this?! Why couldnât he just wake up from the stupid nightmare.
No reply came to that muffled voice however, just a catch of hitched breath from someone nearby before he was forced through the door and pushed onto his knees upon the floor, and then the dark bag that was covering his face was tugged free, causing him to clench his eyes shut as the world around him was far too bright even in the dim room.
Slowly, hazel optics would open and focus, growing wide at the woman he was kneeling before⊠she was⊠well, he didnât think he had a word for the way she looked, so revealing, but so in red, andâŠ
Was that a tail?
But before he could speak, of anything, the bag had been replaced around him, this time as rolled up as a gag, tightly bound around his mouth as he muffled a protest.
Was it a person this time? Or yet another of those toys that humans enjoyed? The blonde would allow for her mind to wander for a while, as she attempted to guess the gift that they would offer to her this day, though a sharper nose hinted enough.                  A human.                                    A human male at that. She was no biased creature, she barely minded if they brought her either gender. Both, each, had its way of appealing to her and her sadistic manners, yet perhaps the woman had a preference for that of the other gender. Perhaps. She lived within the boundaries of what was given to her, relaxed as she was â there was no desire to do much other yet, thus she accepted their gifts and offerings. For now she was satisfied, but there would be a constant demand for more, and more she would have when she desired. If they failed to do so, they would not be spared any penalty. She was only beginning to have a taste of the world, and her greed would know no bounds. She was not adverse to attaining her own entertainment, but why make the effort when there were people so willing to do so for her? Having a cult was useful. Perusing her latest addition with a critical eye, she waved the members away, wanting a better look at the human male. Decent, she would assume, but it was hard to tell with attire on. He needed a bath, for sure, but it would be fun to have someone to play with ( besides the boring guards who were not to do anything ). Tail unwrapped itself, conscious thought drawing the tip over his features, almost a gentle caress akin to a loverâs touch. He would do. âIâll take him. All of you can leave now.â If they were to disobey, they would simply lose their lives, her commands were absolute. If they wished to worship a Dark Goddess, they best well obey. âIf I want anything, Iâll let one of you know. In the meanwhile, you have five minutes to disappear from here.â It was a mansion of sorts, she assumed. She had plenty of space to do as she wished. But the location as to where it was situated she had no idea. It was a new world she encountered after all. She was lucky to find one who worshiped her. As they should. âYou, on the other hand, are going to take a bath. You are filthy. I will supervise. On your feet now, move. Donât make me wait.â Without servants and guards, she would have to do everything herself -- but that was possibly the purpose of the human male she now chose to solely share her space with.
NATSUÂ [ @unmeinozuretehonoâ ]:Â
Hands grasped the back of the blondes clothing as she tugged him in curling himself around her instead of himself, nuzzling his way into her shoulder, face hidden from the world, just matted pink hair poking over her shoulder, nuzzling himself deeper and deeper until he was completely comfortable, and feeling safe.Â
His breathing started to go in time with hers, following her as she calmed her own breath, in and out, in and out, he shifted, just a little, every now and then, until his own breath reached a regular pattern as well⊠and then slowly became deeper. He was falling asleep, quite the issue indeed. The blonde cheerleader, while strong, could surely not carry her boyfriend that was so much heavier than her, all muscle was the teenager, very little fat clung to his form. He was just simply heavy.
And now asleep on his girlfriends shoulder. Perhaps sleep was what he needed, but here, in such a place, it was not the best, but at the same time, would it be wise to wake him now he had calmed?Â
Either way, the sprinter was sound asleep, and calmed, at last.
There was no way she could lift the man and transport him to her car without assistance -- though stronger than the typical girl, she still lacked the strength to carry a muscled grown man, and there was perhaps, no way of doing so without waking the slumbering sprinter. Thus instead she settled for bracing legs to the extended training. Allowing for her own heart to slow to a steady pace, she stilled and slowly inched arm up his back, stroking reassuringly. She could support him as he slept for a while, but training was never casual or easy; not when she led the session. They were pushed beyond their limits, constantly, and that was how they were able to stretch their potential. She, of all, did far more; recklessly and dangerously, so much so that it shook her boyfriend. But it guaranteed them their championships -- there was no other quite like Lucy Heartfilia. âNatsu? Do you feel better? Shall we go home?â Vox came in a whisper, not willing to abruptly rouse him when breakdown was so recent, but surely he come find more comfort in the familiarity of his own home, and perhaps in cleanliness after perspiration of fear and activity drenched outfit. She did not want him to catch a cold. âWhat do you think, Natsu?â