Chelsea.

Children learn emotion regulation and self-soothing from their parents. It is not innate. If your parents don’t accept all of your emotions, then you will mirror them and reject your emotions too. 

Because you cannot change how you feel, you think you have to get rid of your feelings because you have received the message that they are unacceptable. So you may develop maladaptive coping strategies such as self harm, eating disorders, substance abuse and chronic suppression of emotions, or a detached state. BPD is a common disorder resulting from chronic emotional invalidation. 

I’m telling you this because I want you to know IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. You were never taught how to accept or regulate your emotions - you were taught to fear them and escape them. 

So if your parents/carers ever try to make you feel like a failure for your struggles, tell them it’s their fucking fault.