I just want read all the books all day.

Some names just sound so ridiculously fake that had they been fictional, people would’ve rolled their eyes in complete disbelief. Like seriously. Wdym there’s a mf called Galileo Galilei. Stfu. You just made that up

Fastest man on earth is a guy called Usain Bolt. Sure I guess. There’s a poker player whose real name is Chris Moneymaker. Whatever. Scott Speed is a racecar driver. Founder of Tito’s Vodka is some guy called Bert Beveridge. There’s a former CNN bureau chief called William Headline. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

[ID: Andrew Drinkwater, water research center. Dr Dick Chopp, urologist. Tweet by @JimMFelton “Do you have any other urologists I could talk to?” PC Rob Banks, Avon & Somerset Police. Lieutenant Les McBurney, Sun Prairie Fire Department. /end ID]

US Army Staff Sergeant Max Fightmaster.

@pyriteprince pigeons :)

Me and my goth friends in the bathroom at the club.

i need to show you guys the absurdly saucy pear my parents just casually had out in the fruit bowl like it was normal

I originally thought those were supposed to be mushrooms, implying that this cat is moldy

i'm happy y'all made fan art of my cat. i tried to show her and she just rubbed her face on my phone

Pet your cat OP, 50% shot it helps.

the first time I reblogged this, like a few weeks ago, it had like 4,000 notes. why do people keep insisting tumblr is dead

i had a DREAM about the green cat last night. not sure what she was up to but. nice to meet her :)

GREEN CAT IS BACK ON MY DAAAAAASH

We Love Green Cat

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

getting home from work at the end of a long day and putting away my briefcase, changing out of my suit and tie, changing into a different suit and tie, and pulling out a separate, identical briefcase before sitting down at my computer and, with meticulous keystrokes, logging into tumblr dot com

work tomorrow is one of the worst things that can happen to you

Using this as a spell to keep tumblr alive at least until this post is accurate

If you went to a bar and the bartender was a mousegirl you could ask for a drink and she would balance it on her head and say "for you, it's on the mouse"

the crazy thing about this is that it took one single word to turn it horny. coulda been a normal cute post. coulda taken the high road & conjured a delightful image of a mouse scampering down the bar with a beer ten times its size balanced on its head. but you had to say "mousegirl" and not "mouse." don't pretend this isn't what's going on either i know the score i know what's up. i'm familiar with this sort of semantic trick. you want to fuck down on an anime girl with certain characteristics of a rodent and everyone's gotta know.

Mousegirl Crashout 72 Mousegirl Crashout 72 HUT HUT