illusion .

               ’   i must be drunk because you’re actually listening to me … are you okay ? have you felt sick recently ? oh my god , are you dying ?   ’   she offers a breathy laugh , even though from experience she knows that her advice will be met with a false promise . she’s used to it , probably more than she should be , yet it seems to be in both of their natures to do what wasn’t the best for people around them .   ’   i don’t know . you’re the first person i told but noah could have told anyone .   ’   yet even she questions if he would go as far as to letting this information spread beyond his control . & telling anyone beyond their immediate circle would do just that . head shakes at the suspecting glance olivia passes in her direction , figuring that her denial from the moment prior almost fueled the exact confirmation the other woman had been looking for .   ‘   or maybe the source of their problems is that she’s boring … & he’s well  –  not ,   ’   the sentence trails off as an amused scoff passes through stained lips .   '   are you kidding ? he was at their house two days later picking up wes for soccer practice . i don’t think he gives a fuck , liv .   '   she raises the glass to eye level , staring through the red liquid ,   ’   which i mean is kind of hot , but …   ’

             ’   at the time …   ’   she practically laughs at the sentiment , head rolling back as the reaction passes through her chest . she knows the exact game he is trying to play with her , all done to garner a response to further her embarrassment . she believes to know better now , but even she can be proven otherwise .   ’   maybe that’s because i’m good at holding my tongue .   ’   every part of her wants to move on , forget the feeling of degradation which loomed over her in the very moment he made her out to be a fool . but if only it had been so simple . with their social circles , forgiving & forgetting never seemed to be the option most commonly chosen .   ‘   fantastic . are we done here ? or are you going to give me another recommendation on how you live your life ?   ’   jaw clenches then , head shaking as a very menial attempt to maintain an already dwindling composure .   ’   you know what i think you can improve on ?   '   she starts , offering a laugh mirroring his from a moment prior ,   ’   for you to learn … how to leave me the fuck alone .   ’   her gaze stays fixated , lips curling into a faux - saccharine fueled smile ,   ’   LOVE .   ’

               she has never been able to perfect the art of masking emotions , every feeling of vexation , anger , uneasiness spread across features for those who even bothered to spare a glance to see . dahlia never considered it a flaw , no , but more so it made her ability to tell a realistic lie invariably thin . & normally she’d be more than happy to see him upon hearing his approach ( it’s hard to miss ) , ecstatic even , but considering her rather foul mood it wouldn’t seem to be the best for either of them .   ’   i’m not in a rush ,   ’   she counters , tone overcompensating for the very evident anxiety spread throughout her person . instead of attempting to feed him another lie , one that he will surely see through , she secedes . he knows her better than most , & she truly was not in the mood to be prodded about every detail in regards to her recent meeting with a certain someone she didn’t want to give attention to .   ’   i just had a meeting with a professor . didn’t go as well as i thought it would .   ’   not necessarily a lie , yet she still offers a soft smile in distraction .   ’   of course i’m happy to see you … it’s just a bad time .  –   nevermind . sorry … so , is that your way of inviting me to something or ?   ‘   

              ’   i’m never cheap ,   ’   she huffs , a soft pout taking over her features . her already inebriated condition forces a hum as his hand meets blushed cheeks , almost desperate for any bouts of affection he would come to offer .   ’   & i don’t like sharing what’s mine .   ’   the statement offers a clear double - meaning , leaning into his touch slightly as a means of reassurance . she can’t explain it , the warmth within her chest that seemingly grows with every moment the two of them spend together . yet she chooses to attribute the fact to her drunken haze . it only takes her a second to shift her posture , leaning down to finish the line he had started . a breathy cough passes through lips as the bitter taste only grows , & without pause , she inhales another line  –  enough to keep her satiated for the time being . vera shifts again , gaze meeting his with a flicker of roguishness .   ’   let’s make tonight more fun …   ’   she begins , only trailing off . it’s her very nature to bend the rules to fit her own set of principles , press people just far enough to ensure the outcome of their so - called endeavors would match the expectations she has set for herself . the fact made her unpredictable – to most . she takes a step forward before speaking again , arms raising from her sides for hands to clasp around the back of his neck .   ’   hm ?   ’

               she’s known him since they were children , growing up with the same set of morals & instructions towards obedience , power , pride , all with the common goal to mediate a potential threat & grow their already flowered egos . however , even after so many years , octavia has never seen him so willing to give . so willing to protect himself & his family that it draws an open - mouthed beam .   ’   i’ve never seen you like this ,   ’   she muses , every glance thrown in his direction offered with a flicker of cruel intention . it’s quite obvious how her demeanor shifts as his tone weakens , knowing full well that her blatant threats left him in a place of desperation . a part of her takes pleasure in the control she has over him , but another questions just how far she can press until julius is nothing less than malleable , every word spoken to please her whims .   ’   what are you willing to do ?   ’   barely a murmur , unsure if he even heard the question despite their close vicinity . tone is considerably softer to her previous words , yet still offering no room for him to gain the upper hand .   ‘   almost … i don’t know if almost is enough .   ’   palm squeezes atop his shoulder , gently , yet with more force than before .   ’   your family isn’t subtle ,   ’   her grip tightens again , an attempt to maintain a metaphorical hold of the situation .   ’   tell me then ,  –  i’m known to be giving .   ’

               the feelings she held towards him years prior were never truly allowed to disappear , with a reminder of her foolishness plaguing the halls of their university every given hour . but it would take far more than a slight vexation for her to come to admission , as far as she was concerned .   ‘   oh , my apologies . what would you like me to do instead ? because i like to think my reactions are appropriate considering ,   ’   eyes roll , & the grasp against books only tightens with every passing moment . it irritated her just how easily he was able to maintain such a vice grip on her emotions ,  -  both then & now .   ’   so have i … i’m sorry to disappoint you .   ’   it takes every remaining ounce of will - power from walking away then , however the mere idea of giving him the slightest satisfaction , control , forced an obviously fabricated beam to form atop pained lips .   ’   you’ve always been fond of them , haven’t you ? from what i remember . –  am i supposed to assume you’re suddenly different ? a better person ?   '   dahlia pauses , taking a small step towards him . a part of her wishes to say more , truly break him down to everything she believes him to deserve . but rather she continues to test the waters , see the reaction her accusations seem to garner .   ’   am i ?   ’

               ’   no , i just have a feeling you’re not giving to anyone unless they really ask for it . almost , i guess , until they’re practically begging .   ‘   she offers a nonchalant shrug , faux innocence spread throughout her words . an involuntary scoff passes through lips at his moment of contemplation ,   ’   considering you’re here … asking me to dinner … with my sister , of course . seems like it stuck out .   ’   head tilts for a moment before pushing herself on top of the counter . she crosses her legs then , squeezing her thighs together with a soft smirk . her actions are intentional , purposely done just to watch the reaction to every taunt .   '   what’s wrong with confidence ?   ’   legs uncross , an exasperated sigh forming within her chest . patience had already been worn , & each & every moment of relentless teasing made her want nothing more than to give in . but he is quick to give her the slightest reminder of what restraint earns , & her patience settles .   ’   i guess , & how can i reject your friend when he’ll be the only person who can explain  –   ’   she trails off , gesturing towards a once bare shoulder . a devilish twinkle takes over her gaze , intentions becoming more than clear in that given moment . lips curl slightly , teeth biting into her bottom lip as she shrugs again , forcing the hair to reveal bruised skin .   ’   unless you want her to know i belong to you .   ’

               her insatiable need to be in control will be her very fault , painted lips ready to flaunt any phrase if it meant his undoing . enough so that her actions alone are provocative . hand rises from her side , placing itself atop his shoulder gently . only for a moment , before nails dig into the skin .   ’   you make this so easy ,   ’   she muses , no attempt being made to even feign offense , but rather she wants her indifference to his words to be noted . her grip loosens , but hand is unmoving.   ‘   maybe i should go to your parents & tell them everything about your sister … & everything you did to try to help her .   ’   her tone is nothing short of testing , a false threat displayed in the open purely for the purpose to be reactive .   ’   my moral high ground just can’t help it .   ’   a soft beam forms atop features , yet it’s menacing , wicked in the most corrupt ways , & the thought alone of having this much control over someone who prides himself on the epitome of excellence is enough to force reddened tint to cheeks .   ’   what do you think they’ll do to her ?  –  to you ? i heard they killed someone for defecting .   ’   head shakes then , tongue meeting the roof of her mouth with an unapproving click . a part of her enjoys this , their back & forth , because she hopes for an eventful end no matter the means necessary to reach it .  –  eyes roll , head shaking at what she deems to be an outrageous question .   ’   i’m sorry , but what about you rings normal ? baby , i had no idea you were into roleplaying .   ’     

               everything about him was so enticing , almost enough to forget even the darkest vices which involved the hurt & betrayal of his family . almost . because ultimately , nothing drives her more than the success of her own person , family or otherwise .   ‘   you haven’t given me a reason not to .   '   the rouge tint atop her cheeks only darkens then , knowing full well that she had no right to be enamored in the first place .   ’   hm , i’m not sure if your assurance is enough . perhaps a promise will suffice instead .   ’   a soft laugh bubbles within her chest , both at the her spoken words & his barely authoritative stance . she was told by her parents not to get too close , not to engage unless it was entirely out of necessity , but the very warnings seemed to be vanish with every soft gaze he graced her with . maybe there was a truth to their cautions , but perhaps the nature below the malevolent facade she wore so valiantly had once been nothing short of fond , caring , devoted .   '   do you always place your trust with people so easily ?   ’   the question passes through lips with genuine intention , head tilting with blatant curiosity .   ’   my apologies … that sounded quite rude .   ’   gaze shifts to her feet for a passing moment , looking up with a weak beam as insecurity seems to settle .   ’   yes - but you don’t have to stay with me . you must have other people to attend to .   ’

               the amount of resentment she held for him was virulent , so heavy within her chest that with the passing of every interaction , the vice grip only grew . it was her misplaced trust which fell for ill - intentions , but it had always been his actions which forced her to feel used , humiliated , by their peers for nothing more than a game where the prize was her faith .   ’   turns out you are good at reading situations ,   ’   tone cutting as she answers his question without a glaring response . it wasn’t like her to allow petty grievances to dictate her emotions , but something about how he carries himself , the prideful exterior with remorseless interior … became enough to push through her feigned civility . she knew that she would come to regret the words spoken in front of his mother , but in that moment she is nothing more than background .  –  jaw tenses when he speaks to her next , grip only tightening against the books in hand . perhaps she shouldn’t have accepted his impromptu invitation for a chat , but there truly is no point in dwelling in the mistake now .   ’   i really don’t , & i can promise you that that’s on purpose .  –  but humor me ; how have you been ?  find any other games to play ?   ’